Special Agent Gibbs arrived at his desk in an unusually mellow mood one day early in November. The MCRT had just cracked a fiendish case and the paper work was all completed and his team and equipment had survived the ordeal intact without even a papercut for DiNozzo to whine about.
Bishop had expressed an ardent desire to take over all the requisitions for the team as she wanted to analyse the patterns of their … well, truth to tell Gibbs had switched off when she began to explain and had simply nodded his agreement and been rewarded by her ecstatic smile.
McGee was in happy mood because the Director had authorised a new state of the art thingummy for his computer.
Abby was happy because she had won best Halloween costume at the nuns' party of light celebrations. The nuns didn't approve of Halloween excesses so held their alternative shindig but, in the face of Abby's sad face, had relented enough to allow a fancy dress competition. Gibbs prided himself on being able to picture unlikely scenarios (it had after all served him well in his investigative career) but he found that ability inadequate to the task of trying to picture nuns dressed up for Halloween.
Ducky was looking forward to hosting a Thanksgiving gathering which he was proposing to combine with a traditional and early Burns night celebration. Even DiNozzo and Gibbs with their iron digestions were a little concerned about eating haggis but were consoling themselves with the prospect of the Scotch whisky which would accompany the Scottish treat.
Palmer was happy because everyone else was happy and because he was looking forward to baby Victoria's first Christmas.
DiNozzo was happy because Senior had flown out to Australia for November and there was no prospect of him returning and inflicting Thanksgiving trauma on his son.
So, everyone was happy on Team Gibbs and that made the Boss approach something like happiness himself. He should have known better.
The Gibbs gut remained calm when Agent McGee arrived: he was rarely the cause of any worry or anxiety. Unless he was writing books which inflamed his co-workers or incited a madman to kill off 'characters' from said book. Or hacking. Or making 'improvements' to Gibbs' computer. Or hooking up with deranged women who stole his money or turned out to be assassins. Gibbs should have been on the alert.
"Morning, McGee," he said innocently.
"Yes," came the reply.
"Yes?" asked Gibbs.
"Yes," affirmed Tim.
Gibbs stared at McGee but decided that this one word answer was an improvement on Tim's usual tendency to use fifteen words when one was needed.
Tony arrived next, "Morning, Boss. McGee."
"DiNozzo," returned Gibbs.
"Yes," said McGee.
"Yes?" asked Tony.
"Yes," confirmed McGee.
Cold cases loomed for Tony and he was happy to have a distraction and his gut, for once, was more acutely attuned than Gibbs'. Perhaps it was in haggis training.
"Cat got your tongue, McBrevity?" he asked.
"No," said McGee.
"Is it National One Word Answer Day?" asked Tony.
"No," said McGee.
"Are you feeling all right?"
"Yes," came the reply.
"McGee!" shouted Gibbs. His good mood was evaporating.
"Yes?" said McGee.
"You mean 'yes, Boss'," corrected Tony.
"Yes," agreed Tim.
Gibbs peered into his coffee cup and could see the bottom. It felt like a metaphor for his day, perhaps his whole life. He sighed.
"You going to do this all day?" he demanded of McGee.
Tim canted his head as he considered this, "No," he replied.
Gibbs and Tony considered their next move. Gibbs' mind turned to head slaps while Tony thought of superglue: surely McGee would not maintain his stoic silence in the face of such assaults. Tim's phone rang and they relaxed,
"Yes," Tim said as he picked up the receiver. "Yes … yes … yes. No. Yes," and then he put the phone down.
"Was that dispatch?" asked Gibbs.
"Yes."
"Grab your gear," ordered Gibbs.
"No," said Tim.
"No?" asked Tony.
"No," said Tim.
"Not a call out?" asked Gibbs.
"No," said Tim.
Gibbs' blood pressure began to rise but before he could vent his displeasure fully, the Director walked into the squad room.
"Agent McGee," he said.
"Yes," said McGee.
"Did you give Agent Gibbs the information from Dispatch?"
"No."
Ellie and Abby arrived at that moment but were struck dumb by the drama unfolding before their eyes. It seemed as if time had stood still as Gibbs and DiNozzo stared in shock at McGee's apparent disobedience. Time eventually got round to moving again and the Director said,
"Good. Turns out to be a false alarm." He nodded approvingly and made his way back up the stairs.
Before Gibbs could turn on Tim, Abby bounced up to Tim and said happily, "Happy George Boole's birthday, Timmy!"
"Yes," said McGee with a smile.
"Did you do it, did you do it?" demanded Abby jumping up and down.
"Yes," said Tim.
"Did what?" asked Gibbs, shaking his coffee cup to check it really was empty.
"Yes and no," said Tony unexpectedly.
"What?" said Gibbs with a hint of weariness in his voice.
"George Boole. British mathematician whose work on logic paved the way for the computer age," said Tony.
"It did?" said Gibbs disapprovingly.
"Yes," confirmed Tim.
"He broke everything down into true/false or yes/no," said Abby. "He was a genius. And he's 200 years old on November 2nd."
"Yes," said Tim.
"And, to celebrate, I challenged Timmy just to say yes or no," said Abby, "some people would argue that it should have true or false."
"Yes," agreed Tim.
"But I figured that would be too hard," said Abby.
"Yes," said Tim.
"Good one, McBoolean," praised Tony.
Gibbs stood up. He took a deep breath and stared at McGee. Hard. "McGee."
"Yes?" said McGee.
"I suggest you stop this. Right now. Do I make myself clear?"
Everyone's eyes were on McGee waiting for his answer. The temptation was clear and, trained investigators that they were, they could see the various emotions vying for supremacy. He opened his mouth and they all leaned forward, anxious to miss nothing,
"Y … you're absolutely right, Boss," said McGee as he decided he was too young to die.
The tension evaporated. Bishop remembered she'd brought Gibbs a cup of coffee and she placed it on his desk,
"A thank you for letting me do the requisitions," she said.
Gibbs graced her with a benevolent smile. At least, that's how she chose to interpret it.
"How did you know about Boole, Tony?" asked Tim, released from Boolean logic.
"How many years have I worked with you, McLogic?" asked Tony.
Tim resisted the impulse to say 'too many' and said instead, "Glad I'm rubbing off on you, DiNozzo."
Tony looked distinctly uncomfortable at this thought and said, "yeah, sure. And my TV got stuck on this weird science channel and they were doing this programme on him."
"You could have switched it off," pointed out Abby.
"Could have said 'No' to it," said Tim with a knowing smirk.
"Oh. Yes, suppose so," said Tony absently, "but the presenter was smoking hot. And she had this really sexy voice."
The others chuckled and began to go back to their work only to be interrupted by Tony who was staring at his Boolean inspired computer.
"Hey," he said, "here's a day for you, Bishop."
"What?" said Ellie.
"Tomorrow's Sandwich Day!"
"Ah," said Ducky making one of his opportune appearances, "did you know that the Earl of Sandwich is reputed to have invented the sandwich in the eighteenth century? I've always been partial to egg, horseradish and beetroot sandwiches myself. It's an acquired taste which not many people seem to have acquired."
Several pairs of eyes swivelled towards Ducky but nobody seemed able to put a response into words. Tony tried to work out what the concoction would taste like but was distracted by another entry showing on the website,
"Hey, Abs. And today's Look for Circles Day as well."
"But I always do that," she said earnestly.
"And Plan your Epitaph Day," offered Tony.
"Ooh, I could so do that," said Abby happily and already with a distracted look on her face.
"And McYesNo, there's another one for you."
"Yes?" said McGee returning to his commemoration of his hero.
"National Marooned Without a Compass Day is on the 6th," said Tony happily, "you and your Webelos could celebrate. Oh, there's one for Palmer. The 14th is World Diabetes Day."
"I could make a cake," suggested Ellie, "a low sugar one."
"That would be most kind and thoughtful, Eleanor," said Ducky, "I'm sure Mr Palmer would be most appreciative."
"And there's one for you, Tony," contributed McGee. "Dunce Day is on the 8th."
"Hey," said Tony in a hurt voice, "I knew about Boole, didn't I?"
"Yes," acknowledged Tim.
"Ooh, Tony," said Abby giving him a hug, "how about November 13th for you?"
"National Handsome Hunk Day?" asked Tony hopefully.
"No. World Kindness Day," said Abby.
"Look," began Ellie, "there's a Have a Party with your Bear Day coming up. Abby, we could …"
She didn't get to finish as Gibbs cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
"I've got one for you all," he announced.
Abby bounced with excitement at the thought that Gibbs was joining in and they all looked up.
"November 4th. Gatling gun was patented, forerunner of the modern machine gun."
The team gazed at him, waiting to hear what he had in mind.
"If you don't all get back to work, I'll start using a Gatling gun on all of you. Understand?"
The team decided it was time once more to honour George Boole's memory,
"Yes!" they all replied.
AN: in the UK the Google Doodle today (November 2nd) is in honour of George Boole and I couldn't help but think how excited McGee would be. And then I found this crazy website with lots of strange 'days' for November. And well, here we are. I have put the characters back in their NCIS box in perfect health. Until Ducky supplies the haggis.
