Disclaimer: They are clearly not mine. If they were, 5x21 would have played out a lot differently. All errors are mine - apologies for them. This wasn't easy for me.

A/N: I want to thank those of you that are strong enough to read this chapter. I will warn you - it is going to be hard to read. It was devastating to write. I have come to terms with Zelena's actions – you'll see that documented below. Additionally, in honor of the Hades/Zelena ship and as a gift to all us 'shippers – I wrote another story: "Sanctuary". Look for it on my profile.

5x21: Last Rites

Hearts are interesting things. They can be cold, bitter and cruel. Zelena has known ice in her heart for many years. They can be fragile – scarred and fearful, full of distrust. Zelena has known that as well. Yet it seems they are also capable of unlimited amounts of love and joy, as that is all her heart has produced since she kissed Hades. The confirmation that she has such a power, such ability to love and be loved in return – it is amazing. Never did she expect such a thing to happen to her. She has her daughter in her arms, her sister's trust, and the love of Hades. If this is what the heroes have for their Happy Endings, she can understand why they fight so hard to keep them. This is worth fighting for.

Their arrival in Storybrooke is rather underwhelming. One minute they are in the Underworld, the next in the forest. To Zelena, it doesn't matter where they are – they are together and they are in love. Hades seems to share her joy, and when he pulls her to him and places her hand on his heart, she can feel more than just the strong beat beneath her palm. She can feel his joy, and his appreciation. She did this – she saved him. Her love released him from his curse and now they can be together.

But... her sister isn't back yet. One would assume that the heroes would land somewhere near where she and Hades had. Where is she? Hades seems to think they are fine – so perhaps Zelena's worried for no reason. His concern about Snow White and the others giving them a hard time is a valid one. So much happened in the Underworld. She will go and find Regina and tell them how Hades has changed, how her love has made him good.

He seems surprised when she trusts him with her baby. Doesn't he know? They are True Love. She never need doubt again.

oooooooooooooooo

She only has to walk a half-mile until she sees Regina and Robin. Relief floods her; she can't seem to get to her sister fast enough. However, once she's there, all Zelena's thoughts of a happy reunion go down in flames. Robin is in full father freak-out mode and Regina doesn't seem that far behind. When they insinuate that Hades tried to trap them in the Underworld, Zelena knows there must be some other explanation. Hades was with her the entire time. There is no way he could have cast a spell or done anything – he was right by her side.

Regina then goes on to proclaim that Hades can't be trusted - that he's putting on a show for her benefit. He is deceiving her and is a threat to the town. Why is Regina doing this? Doesn't she trust her to know Hades best? Didn't she agree that Zelena should pursue him, that her love could change him? It has! Why can't she see this?

Fierce loyalty flares within her when they continue to prod for Hades' location. Hades is hers – the man she loves. Does Regina really think that she'd just hand him over to them, so they could do whatever they wished with him? Hades was right. Heroes need villains to blame, and whatever happened to Robin and Regina in the Underworld, they want to blame it on Hades. Maybe even her.

Her tolerance for her sister reaches the breaking point when Regina says that Hades is not the man she thinks he is. Are they really foolish enough to test her and Hades? He is a god.

She teleports directly to Regina's office in the town hall, relieved to see him standing there. Holding her daughter again brings comfort and helps calm her frazzled, angry nerves. The idea that they would threaten him, threaten them, is infuriating. Clearly the trust she and Regina developed in the Land of the Dead means nothing to her dear sister now.

Hades offers to surrender himself to them, and Zelena's heart sings with love. He really will do anything for her. She can't lose him. He's right when he claims they have to defend themselves. He, no they, are worth fighting for.

When he brings out the deerskin cloth, something twinges in the back of her mind. When he unravels it, those twinges increase. There is magic within those dead-looking hunks of glass. Strong magic. Something in Hades changes when he looks at them, a flicker in his expression that sets her instincts on edge. This is a weapon of the gods, and Hades is a god. He is The God - of Death, Destruction and Chaos.

She doesn't want to use this thing ... this Olympian Crystal. They'll have to find another way. She will convince Hades of it, she's sure.

She casts her protection spell, the strongest she can produce, while Hades lays the two halves of the crystal on Regina's desk and starts to pour his magic into it. She can see the hate, the anger in his eyes when he tells her how Zeus broke the crystal and stopped his heart. The pain, so similar to what she had for Regina, is still very real for him. It's like looking into a mirror of her past. He hasn't had the opportunity to reconcile with his brother, like she did with Cora and her sister. Once they convince the others that Hades is not a threat, they should try to resolve things with Zeus. Her rational mind screams loudly in protest. Does Hades even want that?

She grabs his arm, knowing he needs her support, her love. His words are reassuring. They'll use this for defense – to get the others to finally listen and respect them. After that, they can live however they choose, free and safe from the interference of anyone.

Hades suggests they rule Storybrooke, and that makes no sense to Zelena. Didn't he say before he wanted them to be a family? The three of them could make a nice life here together. She can almost see her daughter playing in a field of flowers next to a nice, quaint house. Hades agrees he wants that too, but he seems much more concerned about defending them. He clearly feels threatened, and she wonders if he's right. Do they really need to conquer Storybrooke in order to have their happy ending? The idea is troubling.

When the phone rings, and it is Rumplestiltskin, Zelena is not impressed. Of course, he'd have to meddle in their affairs. He has the absolute gall to offer Hades a deal. Isn't that just like him?

Hades returns to infusing the crystal with magic, and when it is fully whole, Zelena can sense its power. Her instincts are screaming in alarm. They need to just leave. There's no need for them to stay in Storybrooke. They can live anywhere.

Hades dismisses this idea as well, claiming that the heroes will hunt them down and find them. He clearly believes they need to present a show of force. But why? Are intimidation tactics really the answer?

It seems they are, because Emma Swan is attempting to break through her protection spell. Hades is right – the heroes aren't going to leave them alone. They really do need to defend themselves.

Emma is standing in front of the Town Hall, casting magic like a fool. Does the Savior really think that she can break Zelena's spell? It seems not, as once Emma sees her she claims she's not after her at all – only Hades. She's holding torn pages in her hand, pages from that storybook with the canon of their lives. Emma explains the pages contain information about Hades and that Olympian Crystal, about its power. With a flick Zelena knocks the other woman flat on her back and takes them.

It doesn't take long for her to read the truth. That Olympian Crystal can destroy a god. The heroes want that crystal for themselves; they want to kill Hades! Rage fills her. Was this Regina's idea? Is this all part of their plan – to separate her from Hades and attack him? Emma says no, but Zelena isn't buying it. She hurries upstairs, and of course, Regina is there. But she's on the floor next to an apparently unconscious Robin with tears in her eyes. Hades has that Olympian Crystal in his hand, and it is pointed directly at Regina. What the hell just happened?

Her sister is absolutely enraged, blaming Hades for what happened to Robin. Hades claims Robin was planning to kill her, and he had to protect her. Regina denies it, but Zelena shows her the pages from the storybook, the pages that explain how Olympian Crystals can kill a god. Regina and Robin did want to kill Hades - she knows they did.

Regina states she was trying to protect her; that Hades is lying to her. A piece of Zelena's heart shatters when he doesn't deny it. Hades did try to keep her sister and the heroes in the Underworld. He admits it readily. There is an icy glint in his eyes as he tries to rationalize how trapping her sister is okay. He can't seem to face her; he's still focused on Regina and that evil crystal in his hand. He claims that he didn't want to hurt the heroes; that they wouldn't have to die if they stayed below. He swears it is all for her, for them – that they need to use the crystal's power and create a new Storybrooke where they rule everything.

That's insanity. Why can't they just be happy together?

He finally meets her gaze and she can see the chaos, the hatred and jealousy that's haunting him. He wants revenge, on the people who hurt her, on his brother, on the world. It's consuming him – this need for vengeance. Zelena knows that feeling all too well, it nearly consumed her. It turned her into a monster.

But that's not who she is any longer. Her daughter - the love for her child, has changed her. Her sister - the love, trust and support she showed, has given her courage. She finally has peace with the mother who abandoned her, and she has the love of her man. True Love. With Hades, who is manic and distraught before her. He needs her.

He repeats his mantra from that first night in Underbrooke. There is no better revenge than having it all. Regina takes advantage of his distraction and tackles him, knocking the crystal spear from his grip and sending him sprawling onto the floor. She makes a grab for it, but Zelena reaches the crystal first. Its power is alien, intense, arcing through her fingers to deep within her soul. The air is thick with the tension between the three of them.

Hades whispers to her, granting her permission to do what she's always dreamed – eliminate her sister and take her place in Storybrooke. It all will be hers, finally and forever. Regina pleads with her, pleads her case through tears about how she believes in her, how she wanted love and happiness for her. Her voice cracks with emotion, and Zelena can see the sincerity in her eyes.

Has love blinded her? Regina says Hades tried to kill her and when Hades denies it, Zelena seriously has her doubts. He already lied; has he truly been playing her all this time?

Regina explains through tears that Robin is dead, that he sacrificed himself and by doing so, he exemplifies the real definition of True Love. Her sister's grief is raw and agonizing - and it is the truth. Hades killed Robin, but he was trying to kill Regina.

Her sister's next words cut deep. Is she right? Is Hades unwilling to sacrifice anything for her? Didn't he rip up that contract for her? Wasn't he just willing to surrender himself for her? Or was it all an act, a play to manipulate her – to get her to love him to restart his heart? A long time ago she doubted the sincerity of his love. Was she blinded by it this time around?

She looks to Hades for something, for anything to prove he's willing to do as Regina described – put her needs before his own. But Hades words are filled with bitter reality instead. This, all of it around them, is Regina's. It's easy for her sister to speak of love and sacrifice, but what has she really sacrificed? She's known love; comfort; family. She has it all, and Zelena has nothing. Not until now, and here's her sister, trying to take it all away.

"Do it," Hades tells her. "If you won't, I will."

Zelena's world starts to blur. This cannot be real. When she turns to Hades and sees him eagerly anticipating her sister's destruction, she finally understands. This is what he wants.

It is not what she wants. She wants love, a family. She doesn't need power, or to rule Storybrooke, or the death of her sister for her happy ending. She needs love. And although she thought she had it with Hades, her love, no matter how pure or True, will never heal the hatred in his soul. His need for vengeance is too strong.

The crystal comes to life in her hand, ignited by her own rage and heartbreak. He said he loved her; he said it was all for her. But it was all for him, and nothing she can do will ever change him. He wants revenge, and all of his arguments about how the heroes will never leave them alone were mirrors of his own agenda. He will never stop. He will bring chaos and destruction to her sister, the whole town, and beyond.

There is a single instant where she knows what she has to do, and it radiates through her soul in its clarity. There is no other option. Her love for him is not enough, and nothing ever will be.

She plunges the crystal into his chest, creating a blinding flash of light as it pierces Hades' heart. His power spreads out in flames and shards, slowly consuming him as he cries out her name in anguish.

What have I done?

She watches in horror as his body cracks and finally shatters into dust at her feet.

I killed him… I killed him... What Have I Done?!

She can't breathe. This must be a dream. She didn't just kill Hades. He is her True Love. They are going to have their Happy Ending. She's going to have her happy ending, right?

But the pile of dust at her feet, and Regina cradling Robin's dead body in her arms – it is not a dream. Her love for Hades was not enough. She did not change him. And now he is gone, forever, because of her. She was his weakness after all.

Zelena can barely think beyond the pain, the gut-wrenching heartache that is tearing through her with each breath she takes. She stumbles over to Regina, shaking. She reaches for her shoulder and they collapse against each other, Regina's sobs just as strong as her own. What happens now?

ooooooooooooooo

Days pass in a blur. Zelena doesn't remember leaving Regina's office, but neither of them has returned. She will never return. Regina herself has shut down, emotionally vacant. Zelena has done the same, but she's had years of practice with putting on a good face, so to the heroes she appears well adjusted.

It is a sham. She is dead inside. Her only ray of light, her only point of clarity, is her daughter. The baby is with her permanently now and Zelena is able to push aside all thoughts of everything but her daughter and her care.

It isn't all that difficult – compartmentalization comes easy to her. Hiding behind façades. She is hiding behind the façade of motherhood, and putting on one hell of a good face. Her drunken father would have been proud. Even at Robin's funeral, and rightly naming her little one Robyn in his honor – her strength and composure next to Regina was all an act.

However, her concern for Regina is genuine. There is a darkness in her sister's eyes, and Zelena fears for her. Robin Hood was Regina's hope. He was what kept her grounded in the light. Without him to guide her, what will happen? Zelena swears to stick by her little sister no matter what path she chooses. Evil or good – it doesn't matter. Zelena can walk both sides now. Let Regina choose.

Hades' death haunts her dreams. Did she do the right thing? Was there any other option? Her mind is profoundly clear in the answer: No. There was no other way. But her heart continues to doubt, and Zelena wonders if she needs to do something more drastic to ease her suffering. Perhaps a memory spell, like the one Cora used on her as a child. Or, she could remove her heart. Both sound drastic and Zelena isn't ready for something like that. She is strong. She did what was needed. She will survive.

But… I miss him. Dear God, I miss him. Why did this happen?

She spends a lot of her quiet moments trapped in that question - why. Why wasn't her love enough? Why wouldn't he change? Why did he have to be so obsessed with that bloody crystal?

There is also new fear in her heart, deeply rooted and deeply painful, as she knows the laws of magic well. She tries in vain to bury it, smother it, do anything to make it stop, but it rises up again all the same.

Will I ever know true love again?