"They found her!" Shizuma beamed at the detective as she relayed the information she'd just received.
"I have to go… I have to see her!"
"Shizuma!"
Startled by the sudden brash tone, Shizuma wheeled around and took in the wounded expression of Daisuke. His arms were firmly crossed against his chest as his eyes bore into Shizuma's.
"Daisuke…"
"No, just hear me out please?" As the silver haired woman gently nodded he continued; "I'm not stupid, I know that our sham of a marriage is over now that you've found her. Just… be happy okay? Can you do that for me?" Once again she nodded, her gaze softening as her fake husband tried to cover his vulnerability.
"Look, I'm sorry for everything. When everything's sorted out and it actually happens can I… well… will you l-let me…"
"Yes" she answered softly, swiftly cutting off his rambling as she placed a hand gently over her stomach.
He smiled softly at her, pulling her into a tentative embrace before whispering; "Thank you, thank you so much."
'I am outside,
and I've been waiting for the sun,
with my wide eyes.
I've seen worlds that don't belong,
my mouth is dry,
with words I cannot verbalize,
tell me why we live like this?'
For the first time in two weeks Nagisa was preparing to leave the apartment, standing in front of the mirror she took in her dishevelled appearance, scrutinising every aspect of herself.
Her hair no longer hung limply around her shoulders, nor was her face stained with the ever glistening tears she'd shed so consistently the past few weeks.
However there was a definitive change in her appearance compared to how she looked before the whole situation occurred. Dark bags still highlighted her face, and her eyes were emotionless. She felt numb and tried all she could to block out any feeling associated towards or around a certain silver haired woman.
She felt like an empty shell running on auto pilot, an outsider to her own life as she waited desperately for some form of reprieve from the numbness other than a steady ache which built over time.
"Why did this have to happen?" She voiced the question she contemplated consistently to the point of insanity. Her voice cracked slightly, coming out as a crass whisper formed from the endless amount of tears she had shed.
She licked her lips trying to salvage them from the cracks now splitting from the brief movement speaking brought, wincing as she tasted blood upon her tongue.
'Keep me safe inside,
your arms like towers;
tower over me.'
She still felt vulnerable despite her icy demeanour. She was acting differently and she knew it, but she didn't care. She wouldn't –couldn't – let her heart be broken again, it just wasn't fair.
She used to feel so safe, the memory of that night replaying over and over in her mind.
She'd cried in the silver haired temptress's arms; wept until she could despair no more, as the strong embrace protected her from everything but their owner.
She was safe, yet in danger. Protected yet scared. A rush of emotions flooded the red head as she continued to replay the encounter in hindsight.
'Yeah, because we are broken.
What must we do to restore our innocence
and all the promise we adored?
Give us life again,
Cause we just wanna be whole.'
She felt broken as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration at the entire situation, trying to find some form of reassurance in the gesture. It didn't work.
She huffed in annoyance at the now stray tips of hair that taunted her in an unruly fashion, trying to goad her into any form of reaction. It didn't work.
Her arms limply fell to her side as she sighed in submission, giving up before she'd even begun. She suddenly felt extremely tired; lack of sleep and a sudden exertion of movement finally catching up to her.
She was unsure of what to do as she shook her head slightly to try and rid herself of the sudden bout of tiredness, before turning and walking towards the door.
Pausing briefly she observed the sleeping form of her friend on the sofa before grabbing her bag and continuing on out.
Keeping up a brisk pace she walked until the biting morning breeze attacked her already reddening cheeks, causing her to shudder.
Wanting to clear her head she pushed forward, continuing her task despite the weather relentlessly pushing at her.
Her eyes scoured the area searching for something, anything – she wasn't sure, other than her impending need to find something.
Her heart ached as she realised how broken it was, whilst her body and brain reassured her that finding this 'something' would make her whole again.
'Lock the doors
'Cause I'd like to capture this voice
It came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war, we live like this.'
It was a niggling sensation that coursed through her entire being as she tried to fathom what the 'something' was – falling short just before the answer came to her.
She was growing more and more frustrated as time continued to pass by.
'Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me'
She continued to push her brain to reveal what it was she needed to make the pain go away, all rational thoughts and reason leaving her conscious. She wanted – needed- to know.
Suddenly a bulky shoulder bashed into her, startling her as she stumbled around trying to regain her balance. Then as quickly as the shoulder hit her reality dawned. She didn't know where she was.
She'd intended to find the 'something' and in her endeavours hadn't paid much attention to the change in scenery.
The previously calming air viciously circled her, as people rushed around her from all directions. Panic began to grip at her, pulling her down as she frantically searched for something familiar to find her way home.
''Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole.'
All thoughts of searching for that 'something' left her mind as she pushed her way back through the surrounding crowd, trying and failing to retrace her steps.
Her mind was a whirl of emotions and panic as her legs threatened to buckle right there and then in the street surrounded by strangers who ignored her.
She clamped her eyes tightly shut and wished for a miracle to happen, for everything to stop and be alright. To be whole again.
'Tower over me
Tower over me
And I'll take the truth at any cost.'
Then it suddenly occurred to her, the 'something' she'd been looking for, the 'something' she so desperately wanted to cure her aching heart was actually a 'someone'.
Images of a silver haired woman flashed through her mind and she desperately tried to repress the memories, the want which was begging to build within her.
Confusion swept through her as she wondered why she hadn't realised what she'd wanted to begin with, only to shake her head at the sharp rush of pain which followed the thought.
"That's why" She mumbled to herself.
Then with that, she began to run.
''Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again.'
As she ran she let the tears spill down her face, ignoring the questioning gazes staring after her.
"No, No, No, No" She continually muttered under breath as she pushed herself to run away from the thoughts and memories which stalked and plagued her very existence.
A broken sob escaped her throat when she realised she still had no idea where she was, and the panic began to peak.
She ignored everything around her as the memories began to close in on her, running straight onto the road. She ignored the nearby shouts, and it wasn't until she heard the screech of breaks that she noticed just where she was.
The car hurtling towards her was the last thing she saw before an excruciating pain erupted in her side and everything went black.
''Cause we just wanna be whole.'
Note:
Okay, so this is another short chapter – but I found some spare time (Okay, that's a lie I should be writing up my observations and assignment but hey, I got distracted. xD)
Again, this is sort of a filler, I've been told before that Nagisa forgives Shizuma too quickly in 'Looking Towards Tomorrow' so I figured by doing the fillers I was drawing out the argument longer.
I'd like to say that what I said at the end of the last chapter about Shizuma's surprise and another secret, would be definitely happening in the next chapter, however I can't seem to stick to any plot completely, I shall however promise that it'll happen eventually?
The next chapter will actually have Shizuma in though I promise. xD
Okay… so I think I've talked enough for this now – sorry. :P As always I don't own Strawberry Panic, and thank you for reading/ reviewing. (:
Becky. xx
Ps. I also don't own 'We are Broken' by Paramore. (Obviously. :P)