ARC I:

Antinomy

Chapter VI

THE STRUGGLE OF THE POOR

The downpour of the rain continues, the thunder shouting in the distance. The wind violently blowing, as if they were shrieking, and the trees, violently shaking from the force of the wind. An illusion comes to mind, can that wind blow into here, and send us into another world? That thought comes to mind with this sudden change in the relaxing atmosphere we just had a few moments ago. From laughter and the silly nature that comes with the exchanges of youth to the dreadful tense situation, where one word can turn things for the worse.

Yuro looked towards me, "Kazu," his serious tone, accompanied with his unfaltering gaze, "I have something that's been bothering me about my past, hear me out."
"Sure. What is it?" I asked softly.

I lowered myself to sit down with him, then I looked at the others, who seem to be caught up in their own small talk, not bothering to interfere with our conversation. I assume they saw Yuro being gloomy and decided for me to comfort him, but that seems to be highly likely.

"It has something to do with the Calamity Project," he said, gripping the spoon he held tightly, "I just don't see how it was for a good cause.. just something about a utopia baffles me."

It seems the high council is keeping their true motives a secret and used the ruse of a "perfect society" to lie to the public; to make them think that his mission is for the greater good of both sides, when in reality, it is to conquer the other.

He continues, "seven years ago, that's when the first phase started, right?"
I nod to him, as he continues.

Yuro's POV

I was eight-years-old when the Calamity Project was announced, and ten-years-old when it started. I was still a little kid in grade school, helping out my parents at home, typical things any normal kid would do. My parents were poor, we lived on the poor side of the city, isolated from the rest. They had to balance three jobs just to live, and even I had to take up a job or two to help out even a little. I felt bad that I didn't contribute anything to my parents when they were paying for our living expenses at the time, of course, I didn't think about any of this at the age, I was... simply blaming myself for our living arrangement. I didn't show that to them or at school, I'd always try to slap a fake smile to hide all of it.

At home, it was a mess. There were clothes everywhere, dust cluttering the old, run-down furniture that made up the house I lived and loved. I wasn't at all miserable for the life I was given, I was sad that I might be an annoyance to them, but I wasn't like that to them at all. I loved them and my home, and they loved me back. Despite being told all that, I still kept that plastered smile on my face, and it integrated into my personality. Even at home, I would keep my disguise on, and pretend to be an idiot.

"Nnngh...! Aaahh!" I screamed falling on my face. My foot was caught in a hole and I tripped.
"Uuugh..." I groaned, getting back up on my feet and smiled in front of my mom, who was generally concerned for my well-being. My parents were very overprotective of me, not that it was annoying, but they do show their affection and concern for me, which helped lighten the weight of guilt off my back during the time.
"Are you okay, Yuro?" my mom asked, frantically coming to my side, checking if I had any bruises or not-aside from the ones I've already got from playing around with my friends in the slums.
"Ya. I'm fine. No need to worry, mom," I said, giving her a dumb smile. She looked at me with relief written all over her face, she stood back up patted me on the head.
"I'm glad to hear that. Sit tight while I get dinner," she smiled and ran back into the other room.

We didn't have much in the slums, no showers, no warm meals, nothing. We were all covered in the filth of the land. Kids around my age would be covered head-to-toe in dirt, cuts, you name it. As you can expect, kids in our area had to learn to stand up for themselves and fight "like true men," as they preached. I wasn't one of those kids who would beat everyone they see to a pulp, I'm the one being beaten. If you weren't strong, you were tagged as prey, if you are strong, you are tagged as predator; that was the system we kids had back in the day, and every time I would come home from school, all battered up and depressed looking, my parents would usually scream, that is, if they were home. Usually, one or none of my parents would be home by the time I get out of school. They do have three jobs, but they still have day offs, so I'm not always home alone. It was reassuring, but I still felt bad about our living conditions. I was blaming myself for basically no reason at the time, pretty stupid, huh? Anyway, it was tough dealing with everything back home, hence why I smile to hide my misery from my parents, classmates and teachers. I don't want them to be concerned about me, I truly wanted to get stronger, to help kids like me who are treated lesser than the tougher kids. My clothes would get torn from my daily beatings to the point that my clothes were merely a white torn t-shirt, the tear went through the front in a diagonal line, as if I was slashed by a sword, and old navy blue jean shorts with a few minor scratches and tears, but still in better condition than my shirt and upper body. It was horrible, but in the end, I tried to hide it all from my parents, keeping my problems to myself, so I can deal with them alone.

Well, it wasn't all that bad at home. The family dinner table would just explode with small talk and it was enjoyable for me. Nevermind the takeout food we have to order just to fill our stomachs, it was just enough to talk with my family; which gave me some sort of reassurance that my life wasn't all that bad.

The next day, I woke up peacefully to the sound of my mother's soft voice, "Yuro, I'm heading out to work. Your lunch is on the table, as always. Take care, dear."
I arose from the ragged sheets that were my blanket, looking at her and nodding, "have a safe day."

She waved goodbye and walked out the front door, her hair flying in the cool breeze that blew it as she shut the old wooden door behind her. I yawned and got out of bed, changing from my torn outside clothes into my uniform: a white short sleeved dress shirt and black slacks, they were undamaged and almost in perfect condition. Fighting wasn't allowed on school grounds, and my parents made it a big deal to keep my uniform clean at all times. As expected of a kid, I obeyed and managed to keep my uniform clean for my time in grade school.

I picked up my backpack resting on my bedside, and stuffed my lunch inside, after hoisting it over my shoulder, I wandered towards the front door, upon opening it, I was greeted with a clean gust of air. I covered my eyes and closed the door behind me. From there, I would take my usual route to school. My mother would tell me to stick with a crowd, so no one would jump me. By her logic, if you were near a crowd, a group of bullies would tend to leave you alone. Going by my knowledge back then, I assumed they didn't want to get scolded by their parents or other adults. I ran into the main district of the area, which was lined with booths and small shops with a few early birds lining up to purchase goods. I ran past all the different booths, taking a right on the first intersection I saw, I am a good hour early for school so I didn't have to worry about bullies, but I had to take extra precautions to avoid getting my uniform dirty. Living poor is tough, but I had my own tricks to get by here, at least I was lucky enough to go to school, most kids in the slums weren't fortunate enough to go to school. I pitied them a bit as I ran past them on my morning run to school. They seem to be happy, so I decided not to pay them any serious attention.

My school was just an average one, it wasn't anything too fancy just your typical public school. I don't remember much about the appearance of this school, so I won't go into detail about that. It was just a wooden school building of two stories tall, nothing too major. At school, I was just a class clown, I made friends with a lot of people-well, friends would be the wrong word to describe it, I would say acquaintances-and because of that, hardly any enemies except for a few sour ones who don't like me. I never found out why, since I steer clear of them during recess and as soon school dismisses. I dashed into the building and climbed the noisy staircase and wandered into the second-floor hallway. Upon reaching the door for my classroom, I shook the doorknob and slowly opened it, an empty classroom greeted me, I stepped inside, leaving the door open behind me. I went over to my desk in the front row, closest to the door and lowered myself onto the seat, after resting my bag on the ground near me. We didn't have any assigned seats, but I took this for my advantage and seized control over the closest seat to the door ever since the day I enrolled, which would be two years ago. From what I remember, the classroom is small, only able to hold around ten to fifteen students. Many students would arrive at around the standard time of 7:30, and wait around and chat with each other till 8:00, which class would start. During this period, I would prepare for class and chat with anyone who struck up a conversation with me. There really isn't anyone to outstanding in my class that I remember, but most of them liked me and didn't see me as a bad person, which is good, since I didn't want anyone hating me, to the point that they wouldn't mind if I suddenly disappear.

Two class periods passed, and our teacher was suddenly called into the office, along with the rest of the teachers in the other classrooms. He came back around five minutes later and switched on the small television set in the corner all the way in the front of the classroom.

He turned to look at us, "now attention class. What I'm about to show you is a conference meeting broadcasted earlier today, Yami, a government official you all should be familiar with has announced a big plan he has for the Darkness. Our principal wants you, the students, to relay this message to your parents," his bored voice echoed into the seemingly quiet classroom.
One student raised her hand, "why do we have to show our parents?"
"Because it also concerns a few changes in your education," he said, taking out a DVD disc out of a tray and placing it into the disc player tray. A whirring sound rose for about five seconds, before the static display on screen switched to an office room, with the focus on Yami.
"-Hello, to everyone who is watching this broadcast. After a discussion with the senators of the high council in the Darkness, I am now able to make my project public," he spoke in a stern, clear voice.
"I am proud to announce the Calamity Project, an idea I proposed to advance the Darkness territory to greatest heights, in other to create a utopia for everyone to live in. This will be accomplished by merging our territory to those of the Light. This will be a chance, an opportunity to restart and start anew. Everyone is given a second chance in this perfect society that I will be funding. It may sound too good to be true, but I assure you, I can make it happen. So, two years from now, the project will start, and we will attempt to talk to the leaders of the Light, also at that time, I will make some adjustments to the education system of the youth. I won't go into further detail on the matter till the time comes."

Yami, our commander, proposed the Calamity Project to the entire Darkness territory that day, saying it was a utopia, a perfect place of peace and harmony as people believe it to be. Two years later, a mass war broke out, and my life from that point changed drastically. I was forced out of my home, out of my sanctuary, to go into a military private school, where the youth are trained to become soldiers, while still maintaining their academic career. Parents were against the idea, and started revolting, but due to Yami's influence, hardly any change was made. Yami stepped down from an official to become a military commander to lead us in a fight against the Light. As you know, both the Light and the Darkness had major casualties, which inevitably pushed back the Calamity Project. I, a boy who has a fake smile and guilted himself over nothing is now a military soldier acting as a student. My struggles during childhood stayed with me, I never forgot it, but I never saw my parents ever since that day. I was only in fifth grade at the time of my transfer. It made me miserable, being separated from my parents, but the instructors ensured me that they are being supported by my academic and combat success, I was thrilled when I heard that. Even so, I was not allowed to speak with them, but I believed in my instructor's words and advanced. My academics were around average and my combat curriculum above average, because of my solid determination that I was finally able to help my parents in some form or another, is finally becoming a reality, I felt happy again. People around me began to recognize my determination, those who were homesick moved out of that phase and focused on their studies, and those who were previously failing improved significantly.

In my eighth grade, I finally had a goal set in mind; I would make myself known to everyone at the academy, I would make people smile. With the mindset and morals of keeping people happy would lead all of us to a better future, influenced by Yami's Calamity Project idea, I pushed on in this cruel world that pushed me away from my family, hiding behind a fake smile that becomes genuine.

"I can't do it!" Weiss said, lowering his Treasure Trove down to his side.

That was my first tutoring lesson, on a bright sunny day on in the open field, no trees as far as the eye could see, only practice dummies and other students practicing around us. I was tasked to help Weiss in his combat training. He was a simple fellow, but his unwillingness and easily giving up attitude made it harder on himself, so I was sent to tutor him. I didn't have confidence that I would be able to help him, but I managed to muster up the strength to go with it.

I tapped his shoulder with my hand, "you can do it!" I smiled.
"No, I can't. I'm a failure.." he dropped down to his knees, tears flowing from his eyes.

He almost reminded me of myself back then, I was depressed because I was away from my family, and I started lacking in my academic fields because of that. But once I started putting it aside, my instructors often said that they are impressed with my sudden improvement. Considering Weiss's situation, most likely he had some sort of goal in mind, but when the stress and pressure got to him, he eventually breaks down.

I lowered myself down and held his head up, so he would be forced to look me in the eye, "You're not a failure! Your mom and dad wouldn't want to see you like this, would they? Stand up, we have work to do." my tone was serious, but I mellowed it down to soft and welcoming at the end, topping it off with a smile.
"..Don't give up?" he questioned, wiping away his tears with his sleeve.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"You're one bothersome tutor, y'know?" he said quietly.
"I know. But I want to know, are you willing to improve?" I asked maintaining my friendly tone, but he knows I was serious with the questioned.
"I'm willing," he smiled.
That expression brought me joy, I felt accomplished helping him out. I jumped up in joy and fist pumped with both hands as if I beat my top score in a game.
"That's great! Now let's put that newfound motivation to good use!" I said with an overjoyed tone.

We spent the next few hours improving on Weiss's weak points, we noticed it was time to rest in the dorms once we saw the sky shining a deep orange from the sun starting to set. We were getting our bags and walking through the school hallway when he questioned me about why he should never give up, I simply gave him this answer: "Why? it's obvious, isn't it? If you give up easily, you'll never accomplish a thing, and you'll end up trying out new things but never master them." He replied that I was mature for thinking that way, but I brushed it off since I didn't see myself as a mature kid. It was all natural, all from experience from childhood, as I often tried out new things in school and at home. Many people in my life were great influences and motivators to help me push forward, my parents, Weiss, and Commander Yami were one of them. My parents raised me to be a good person, Weiss reflected another form of me that could've existed, and Commander Yami's idea of a utopia for everyone to live in gave me a glimmer of hope in this world that I would make everyone and my parents happy through my efforts in making this project a reality. I had this mindset for the remainder of eighth grade and into Illusion Academy. I met Kazu after his failed assassination mission, his hopelessness made me interested in him, despite him being an Elite Division soldier, somehow, I was interested in him. Something about him struck me as mysterious and peeked my growing curiosity as we interacted. I started questioning the Calamity Project because of my interest in him, it's weird.

"Pretty weird, isn't it?" Yuro asked, a small smile on his face.

So, Yuro was heavily influenced by Commander Yami in his younger age, that's interesting. I was wondering about his past but looks like I didn't have to go into any extensive effort to accomplish this. At least I didn't pry the information out of him like I do from other people in the past. Well, I would be lying if I said I still don't do that, but it's an order to do so; I can't help it. Still, Yuro had a tough past, being a poor, only child, beat up almost every day and he had to hide it all with a smile. I wonder if the smile he's giving me now is real or fake? I have no time to ponder on that.

I kept my eyes focused on him, "it's not weird, I found it to be informative," I said in a cool tone. I was being honest, he would want me to be truthful to him. I would do no justice if I lied to him, this was the best way to handle this situation.. in my perspective.
He narrowed his eyes at me, "...you found my struggling past to be informative?" his sour expression was not the reaction I was hoping for.
"Informative about your past and the Calamity Project, that's all," I tried to calm him down, but it was inevitable.
He slammed his left hand to the ground and yelled, "is this your only reaction to a friend that sat down and spent time explaining his sour backstory to his robotic friend?! Huh!?"
I held both of my hands in the air in almost in a panic, "well, yes, because you wanted to share your past with me... so it was interesting."
I made a terrible choice in this conversation, I thought.
He crossed his arms and looked away from me, "Sheesh. You really are insensitive," he hissed.

There was no denying that, I've been told that far too many times from Emigrace and my teammates from past group missions. Well, this is a huge blunder I put myself in, but at least I have some insight on Yuro's past.

"I apologize," I said in a softer tone.

I'll admit, it's tough trying to change your tone to appeal to the person you're speaking too. It's quite troublesome, because of that, my normal tone is often expressionless. Emigrace did tell me to keep a cool head in conversations to keep myself in control, but I may have soiled that ordered a bit, judging from my frantic panic from Yuro's sudden outburst, it seems some of Emigrace's influence is starting to wear off.
The others, who heard Yuro's outbreak rushed over to us, "is something wrong?" Selena asked, her expression looked concern.

"Well, that's a first, seeing you concerned rather than angry," was my initial response, but I held off on that, expecting a hot-headed rant from Selena and possibly ruin their images of me.
I said this instead, "just a small outburst, that's all," I tried to sugarcoat it as much as possible, but my toneless voice didn't cut it.
"It doesn't seem like a small outburst," Xiu noted, displeased with the answer I gave.
"Because it wasn't small," Yuro spoke, his voice considerably low.

Well, this is an interesting turn of events, their mental images of me must be ruined by now, so much for getting closer with these guys. I'll have to dig myself out of this mess one way or another, even if it kills me. It pains me to hear Yuro angry like this, and everyone else siding with Yuro and going against me is an unpleasant sight to see. At least it brings me to realize that I'm still far from being buddies with them, because most likely, I'm the stranger of the bunch. Ace told me the groups would know nothing about each other, and this would be a team building exercise, but this is some team you set up for me. I'm practically a stranger to them. I'll have to consult Ace next time I see him.
Selena, Scarlet, and Xiu pushed me aside and stood behind Yuro glaring at me with intense eyes, I feel like I could die just from the sight alone; if I was a normal person.

"Wow. Looks like I'm outnumbered," I spoke coldly.

Saying that didn't help my predicament any further, in fact, it worsened it. Just everything that comes out of my mouth was just bad news after the other. Which brings to my attention of how much of a terrible person I am. I have a lot of work to do if I am to become an actual person, even though Ayako acknowledges me as a soldier, I want her to acknowledge me as a person, first and foremost. Judging from my current conversation, I am far from ever achieving that. I should've kept the thought to myself, so I can analyze the information about the Calamity Project from Yuro. So troublesome.

"Hey, stop spacing out so much. It's creepy," Selena said, with a concerned look. Her posture suggests that she was trying to protect herself, with her hands folded and centered on her breasts.
I snapped out of my thoughts, "oh, sorry. I was just thinking."
"Thinking? That's it? You haven't apologized to Yuro yet!" Selena hollered, thrusting her body forward.
I shook my head, "I did apologize."

This group does have their quirky kinks, I guess it's normal for silly conversations like this to happen, despite us being in an undesirable location for said conversation. Sometimes people are too relaxed, and this is evidence of that certain lax.

"He did," Yuro spoke up, "just be more considerate towards others, okay? I know that you have social anxiety, but try to fix that."
I stood there, trying to comprehend what Yuro was saying.
"It's not social anxiety, he just has a problem with feeling empathy towards other people," Scarlet corrected Yuro.
"In other words, Kazu here is an asshole," Selena blurted out.
Scarlet paused for a moment, ".. much like my little sister."
Selena shot a glare at Scarlet, who was staring at Selena in disappointment. Xiu cut in between them, extending her arms, her posture showing that she doesn't want them to fight. From what I read in novels, sibling quarrels are simply unstoppable, but that's beside the point. I should be focusing on Yuro.
I turned back to Yuro, whose head was hung over, "Yuro," I called out.
He looked back at me, a frown on his face, "I'm sorry," I apologized, hoping he'll accept it, no matter now much feeling it lacked.
His frown turned into a small smile, "apology accepted."

At least that wrapped up quickly, I won't have to worry about groveling at their feet, begging for forgiveness.

"Just keep those insensitive words to yourself, okay?" he said, walking towards me, his hand extended out towards me.
I take his hand and shook it, "I'll be more careful."
I said that, but I doubt I'll actually stay true to those words for a while since I have a habit of blurting things out without thinking. Another thing to fix added on the list of things to improve on. Even though I put myself through this.. ridiculous trial, I think I'll fit in with this group.
I take a short glance of Xiu pushing Selena and Scarlet away from each other. A nostalgic feeling fills me inside, causing me to smile a bit without my knowledge. I'll fit in, definitely. From there, I stepped in, deciding I should help Xiu, "no fighting," I spoke.

We sent the rest of the night cleaning up our meals and packing them back into Xiu's backpack. Soon after, we decided to go to sleep, and the day ended on a positive note, thankfully. We laid down on the rocky ground of the cave, it was uncomfortable, of course, but we didn't have any sleeping bags packed, why? We weren't allowed to, they wanted us to not only grow relationships with our squads, which can be done better in a different activity, but to also have a real experience on the field for a couple of days. That would be an understandable action to do for preparation, but the whole "growing relationships" doesn't make sense, at least to me. But surely, there is a better way to build relationships than this hunting mission.

I sighed, of course, I can't seem to fall asleep. I assume the others are fast asleep unless they knocked themselves out somehow, but how would they, with this uncomfortable floor of stone to lay on? I shouldn't think too much about it, thinking too much in unnecessary times always leads me to bad situations. For example, the assassination mission I had a month ago, Ayako struck me with her words, which pushed me into deep thought and that caused my loss. I may be able to think out the situation wonderfully in my head, but that backfires if I am not able to think and move at the same time. Recently, I have been thinking my feet, which is what I should've done in the first place, but now realizing how my excessive thinking is slowly leading me to my death, I'm glad Ayako brought light to my eyes about my weakness. It's strange, is it?But here I am, thinking about myself, rather than Yuro's past, I must be really self-centered from an outside perspective. It's not that I don't care about anyone else; I do care, but it seems I have been unknowingly prioritizing my own past rather than the others. So many things I have to work on, yet so little time. I guess I'll confront Yuro about this tomorrow, what a horrible friend I am, huh? Well, it's the least I can do, being empathic towards people. I'll give him a proper apology tomorrow, this is all relationship building after all, right? Friends have their positive times full of laughter and fun, also the negative times filled with drama and conflicts. Maybe, maybe, the "relationship building exercise" they announced was specifically for me? ... I'm reading too much into it. I should try to get some rest, it would be a problem if I was sleep deprived.

I slowly close my eyes, wiggling my body back and forth, trying to get comfortable in the otherwise discomforting environment, only to think: Geez, this is so troublesome.

END

Next Time:

RAREST MINERAL

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hello, HeartlessPhantom here once again! I managed to finish the story, despite my week of procrastination. I hope you guys are having a nice day, if you aren't, I hope today's chapter spiced it up. Well, I'm not too confident in what I have for the dialogue after Yuro's past, since it transitioned into a drama fest, but I found it fitting since that sudden transition in conversation atmosphere happens to me often; so to make the dialogue more realistic, I inputted my personal experience with similar sounding conversations. Any~way, I hope you guys have a wonderful day, and I am always open to feedback and tips on how I sAhould improve; they help motivate me to finish this fanfiction! See you next week!