God, it's been years since I've done this. But here we go. The first installment in a series of memories from the perspective of Salinx "Psiioniic" "Sally" "Sal" "Helmsman" Captor. Really just something I drabbled up at least a year ago, but decided it would make a good first post. None of these are going to be very linear. I'll post 'em as I drabble 'em. They're just here to scratch my, and maybe your, Helmsman Angst itch.

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It's a starry sky. Bright, luminescent moons are in the air, shining light down upon the nearby glowy-bluey tree tops. You appear to be in a forest of some kind. Laying on your back. it's quiet, peaceful. The view shifts, and now it's looking at a redbloods face- one similiar to Karkat and Kankri as they might be, as one might imagine, just... stronger, somehow. Younger then you, too. Seven sweeps, maybe? His face is... More angular, thin with one too many missed meals. It's got a grin on it though, and it's one you can feel yourself returning. "Hey." is the whisper. The voice is Kadians. It's definitely his, all light and airy and unlike your baritone/tenor mix, beautiful. "Thup." is the whisper back. A conversation ensues. One in which you compliment the night, the starry skies, and in which he returns in kind. It isn't too long before he's speaking, rambling on as he often does. "All the stars, Salinx. They're all pretty, right?"

You agree with him, turn your gaze up to the sky again. They are indeed pretty. "Each one is different. Each one is a different size, some are even different colors. They're all different dimensions and different places in the universe, yet, when viewed by just a couple of kids like us, we say they're all pretty. There's no differential view. I don't look at them and seperate them into colors and sizes, I don't look at them and say, that one is a bad color, it should be destroyed. I look at them and smile, because they're all as beautiful as the day they were made."

Your gaze turns to him again and there's a wave of respect flowing through your mind for this troll. He's such a good speaker- Why doesn't anyone ever /listen/ to him? it boggles your mind how they want to cull him just for who he is.

"Yeah." You agree, again. "I mean, ith really thtupid? That thingth are even judged that way. I mean, we can't help how the fuck we're created, right?" You chuckle and trail off to sigh a bit. You really want him to stay here with you. It isn't often you get to talk to him, with your job at the shipyards and his job running about causing more trouble then you ever did. He agrees with you and then reaches out his hand in the dirt. You take it and squeeze, hard.

"Ith going to be hard, you know that, right?" You know he knows what you mean. "Changing their minds? Yes, it will be. But like many things... Striving to do something good is often hard." You nod and he scootches over to you. You wrap an arm around his shoulder. "Yeah. There'th a lot of thingth that thould be thtrived for." You hint with a smile.

"One of thoth thingth being you telling me whatht really bothering you." Your grin widens, and he looks quizzical. "How did you know?" He queries, and you chuckle some. "You alwayth get preachy when thomething'th on your mind." Now he laughs gently and you can feel him squeeze your hand tightly. Worriedly.

"Come on." You urge, and he sits up, as do you. "You can tell me." A surge of rail feelings pushes over you, but you fight them down. He's not your rail. Not yet. He looks to you and you watch him shake his head. "I can trust you, I know I can. Yet you are better off not knowing things that could be tortured out of you if one of your ships was to be captured." Now you frown. Your job at the shipyard was... simple. it paid well, enough to keep the drones off your back about your dead lusus and your status as "still cullable wriggler". But the fact remained- Working on the ships was dangerous. And if they knew you were hanging out with a redblood... You would be dragged off, tortured for the mutants whereabouts. "Kadian..." You begin, quietly. "What if... What if I wath to leave the yardth?" You can tell your query has stunned him, because his eyes widen and his eyebrows flick up in surprise. "if you were to... leave the shipyards? But why would you? You've told me yourself, it pays and it isn't bad work..."

He sounds like he's having a hard time believing you, but the more you think about it, the more you smile. "Yeah. if I wath to leave them! I mean, ith dangerouth and... Hell, I could be culled for mutiny or thomething, but... I could be culled jutht talking to you." Your smile, by now, is wide enough to reach ear to ear, and it's contagious, because he's smiling too. "if you were to leave... you could be with me." He muses, quietly. Some quick nods are had by you and you grab his other hand, moving in front of him to look him in the eye. "I could be with you." You restate his musings. "I could be. I could keep you thafe. No more worrying, no more wondering if the other wath okay, we would know at the drop of a fork." He winces at the word fork and you bite back your tongue. But then he smiles and nods. Those certain pale feelings increase and you squeeze /both/ his hands. Reiterate. "I could be with you."

He doesn't get it and he nods. "Yeah, you could be. We could walk together and talk together and sleep together- You know Ryn would enjoy your company-" "No." You push one hand out of his and put a finger to his lips. "You denth little thit, get what i'm athking here." You grin and his eyes widen when he realizes what you mean. A few minutes pass and, silently... He holds up two fingers. You hold up your own. And together, you make a diamond. Now red is spilling down his face and yellow is spilling down yours. You've never felt such a surge of happiness and you're certain that you'll never be this happy- or this loved- Again. You spend the rest of the night talking, as the moons rise and fall, lusii come and go, you both just talk. He tells you of his plans to turn the world around and you see, in his eyes, determination and you tell him you'll gladly help him. He tells you of his plans, his worries, his fears, how he fears Ryn will get brought up into this and how he could end up hurting everyone- You promise him, /promise/ him, that all he has to worry about is teaching the crowd- You'll do the protecting from then on. You promise and you finish out your first railing session with a hug and a pale nose-kiss and a forehead bump. Then he stands, and you stand, and he heads off in the direction he came- You head back to the shipyards.

You had a shipmaster to piss off and a redblood to follow.