Talent

The Seven Deadly Sins regarded one another uneasily. It had been several minutes since Gowther had revealed that he liked Meliodas' cooking, and they were all still reeling from the news, not least of all, the Captain himself.

"Well now," Hawk said, clearing his throat, "who's next?"

"Escanor!" shouted both Ban and Diane. The others nodded firmly.

"Wait, why me?" the small man pouted.

"Because we said so," Ban growled, waving at Elizabeth for another round. "Now give it up."

Escanor cleared his throat. "Oh, well, hm." He adjusted his tie, and then straightened his glasses, and then smoothed his moustache. "Well, I suppose- I mean, it's not really a secret per se, but more of an… unusual trait? Perhaps?"

King huffed. "Just spit it out, Escanor!"

"Fine, fine," the Lion Sin muttered. Then he stood, drawing himself up as high as his tiny nighttime frame would allow, and announced, "I can shove things up my ass."

Meliodas burst out laughing, Diane and King exchanged a look, and Merlin looked a bit nauseous. But it was Ban who said, "Yeah, but who can't?" and drew stares from the rest.

"What?" Ban said nervously, snatching two mugs from Elizabeth's tray as she approached the table. "I heard from a buddy, don't look at me like that. Tell us more, Escanor!"

"Yes, please," Gowther said, tilting his head a bit. "I would like to learn more about shoving things up asses."

Diane put up a finger. "Wait a second," she said. "Ban kind of has a point, as weird and creepy as it is. Shoving things up your ass isn't exactly a talent."

"Yes, I understand that," Escanor said sheepishly. "But as I grow into- into him- my asshole gets bigger as well, and so I can shove increasingly larger things in my ass."

Everyone stops to consider this for a moment before bursting into questions at once: "How big is big?-How many?-Do you do it yourself or does someone help?-Anything get stuck?-Ever use a plant or a tree?"

Escanor held up a hand to quiet them. "If you would like, I could give you a demonstration…?"

Half of them yelled, "YES!" while the other half yelled, "HELL YES!" Escanor nodded and then looked over at Merlin sheepishly. "My goddess, would you do the honor…?"

Merlin, who had not uttered a word this entire time, scowled at him with her arms folded. "I thought," she hissed, "that we agreed to take this to the grave."

Escanor cleared his throat. "Yes, but since we basically can't be killed, that promise no longer makes sense. Besides, this is for our comrades!" He quickly unbuttons his trousers and drops them down, turning and bending over. He reaches around and grabs his flabby, pasty, wrinkled, white old man cheeks and pulls them apart. "Can everyone see?" he calls between his legs.

"Unfortunately!" King answers in disgust.

"Excellent!" Escanor says. "Now you can see that I would barely manage to get a pencil up there at this point, right? Can you all see that?"

They all murmur in agreement, and Escanor rights himself, his gigantic schlong hanging near his knees. "Okay then. Now, if my lady would be so kind."

With a heaving sigh and a roll of her eyes, Merlin stands. Her hands go to the lapels of her long coat, and in a flash she pulls it open, revealing her bare breasts. The entire table goes silent in shock as they all stare for a long moment, and then Merlin covers herself again with the fabric, it staying in place somehow without any clasps or pins or zippers or buttons or duct tape. She rolls her eyes again and gestures towards Escanor, and reluctantly they turn their gaze away from the dark-haired beauty to the glorious Sin of Pride.

Escanor's eyes are glazed over as he begins to grow, his body expanding with hard, chiseled muscle, his hair growing into a thick, lustrous mane, his skin turning a beautiful, glowing bronze. As his bulk overwhelms the Greasy Bums Meat Cakes, the others are pushed backwards until he arrives at his full height. "Now," he said, his voice booming through the room. "Do any of you dare to doubt my asshole?"

"No one doubts your asshole, Escanor," Merlin answered with a huff.

"SPLENDID! I SHALL DEMONSTRATE," he proclaimed. Escanor turned around and bent, his taut, round buttocks now hard and muscular and the color of caramel. He gripped his cheeks with his thick, meaty hands and pulls them apart.

The Lion Sin's asshole is now as large and thick as the rest of him, the dark tunnel almost winking at them as they are hypnotized by the sight. "What the hell~" Ban said with a low whistle.

"King," Escanor commanded, "get something and shove it in there."

"Why me?" the Fairy King whined, but Diane smiles at him. "Please?" she asks. "I want to see what happens."

King quickly spun around, searching for the largest item he can find, and settles on a bottle of ale. "Are you sure?" he asks as he tentatively approaches.

"Who decides what goes into my asshole?" Escanor says in response. "I do."

King shrugs and presses the bottle forward. Absolutely no resistance is given; instead, the bottle disappears into the abyss.

"Child's play," Escanor laughed. "Who else dares to challenge me?"

Excited now, the rest jump up and start to scour the Greasy Bum Meat Cakes for items. They push in a lamp, several candles of varying length and thickness, a whole turkey, a mason jar, a pineapple; but when a semi-drunk Ban picks up Dr. Hawk, Meliodas finally calls an end to the game. "All right, Escanor," he said. "You've proven your point."

Escanor nodded. "Very well. I shall now return to my normal size. Gowther, if you would do the honors?"

Gowther stood and grabbed the lapels of the black vest he is wearing, his chest bare underneath. He pulled the fabric open and exposed his chest and torso to the room. Instantly, Escanor began to deflate like a day-old party balloon, until he is once more the size of a slightly taller Meliodas. As they all take their seats, Elizabeth hurrying over with a fresh round, Meliodas leans over and asks, "Escanor, something I'm wondering though… where do the things go? Like, do they… come out eventually?"

Escanor shrugged as he tightens his belt. "Never seen again, actually. My best guess is they go to another dimension."

Meliodas nodded. "Makes perfect sense," he says as he takes a drink of ale.