Finally... A kinda sorta follow-up to "Therapeutic," mostly involving Pete the waiter, who ended up being more popular than I thought...

Dave knew what he should be feeling, being in a hot tub alone with a hunky guy. Only he wasn't — not entirely.

After all, the "hunky guy" was Pete McCoy, and even though this is the first time Dave had ever seen him with his shirt off (and by God it was better than he'd ever imagined), he really didn't want to fuck up the friendship he had now. Both of them were visiting home from college (Dave from UCLA, Pete from Florida State), and this was the first time they'd spoken face-to-face since summer. Pete's mom was president of the HOA of the ritzy development his family lived in, so when Pete waved a bunch of keys in his face and suggested an after-hours dip in the rec center hot tub to chase away the winter chill, Dave jumped at the chance.

Not that he thought that anything would happen, of course, besides a nice warm soak and whatever catching up they didn't already do over Skype or texting. Pete hadn't said or done a single flirty thing since they first met at that restaurant during the summer, and to be frank, Dave was kind of relieved. For one thing, he needed a friend a lot more than he needed a boyfriend, and Pete was a good one — always ready with a patient and sympathetic ear, goddamn funny, and possessing scarily encyclopedic knowledge of Avatar: the Last Airbender. For another, Pete's Facebook page had still tons of archived photos of him with a couple of ex-boyfriends, both of whom were built and hot like Pete. Dave knew for sure he couldn't compete with that. He was so far from Pete's type that he might as well have been on Pluto.

So who knew what that night at the restaurant was about, really? Maybe Pete also felt Dave was better as just a friend; after all, Dave had been very honest with Pete, told him a lot about his past over the past few months. If Pete thought that Dave was too broken to be a lover... Well, he couldn't honestly disagree.

The water was chest-high to them both; they leaned back against opposite sides of the tub, the rest of their bodies lost under the bubbles. This was a relief to Dave; hell, he'd jumped into the water the first moment he could. One reason was, very frankly, insecurity. When Pete took his shirt off, fully revealing his chiseled abs and muscled pecs, Dave's own body suddenly felt very ugly and flabby indeed. Then there was the other reason, the south of the border reason... Pete did not need to see that.

They laughed; God, they laughed a lot. Dave had his frat brothers ("The guy has a 4.0 GPA, but give him a couple of beers, and he thinks he's on fucking Jackass."), Pete his best friend and "aspiring fag hag" Colleen ("... Then she said that she had alternate ID, and she flashed the dude! He asked her out on the spot... and she fucking said yes.").

"So how does it feel?" Pete was grinning, his eyes twinkling in the dim artificial light, yet there was an edge of seriousness to his voice that brought Dave up short. "Your first few months being out in Los Angeles?"

Dave knew Pete well enough by now to know exactly how to interpret the question. "It's..." But was there a single word to sum it up, what it felt like? To be himself, to be gay, and to have the majority reaction be a shrug, a lighthearted joke, or repeated attempts to hook him up with guys? He'd stepped into a whole new world, after all, almost a Twilight Zone; how could he express all the relief, all the gratitude, all the joy, in just one word?

"... Awesome."

He nearly slapped his own forehead. But Pete just nodded sagely.

"It is. I never would've thought it myself, back when I was in the closet, but there it is. The worst part was when people just wouldn't believe me."

Dave snorted. "Yeah, I get some of that still. 'You can't be gay.' Because I'm not swishy or what the fuck ever."

"It's just ignorance. They don't know all the gay stereotypes, so they don't know the ones we fit into. Gym bunny..." He tapped himself on his burly chest. "Bear." He pointed at Dave, who chuckled. "So have you gotten out to the clubs or anything since we last talked?"

Dave shook his head. "Nah, it's still not my thing."

"But I thought you said you went to that bar in Lima all the time?"

"That was because I didn't really have anywhere else to go to be gay. Now that I'm out, it's like I don't need it as much? If that makes sense."

Pete nodded slowly. "I think so."

"Besides, I'm kinda busy. This is the first time I've actually relaxed in months. Otherwise, it's been schoolwork, frat stuff, parties..."

"Ah, freshman year. Magical time. I remember it fondly." Pete stretched out his arms around the rim of the hot tub, his chest gleaming with pinpoints of light reflected off water droplets. Dave tried not to stare. "Decided on your major yet?"

"Not yet. Thinking about mathematics... It's just hard to think about the future sometimes."

"Yeah?"

Dave nodded. "It's like... I still have a lot of shit to work through. You know that; I tell you about it nearly every freaking day. I still wonder what's possible for me, you know? Even if my head were screwed on straight, what I did — to others and myself, I mean — it's still going to have an impact on the rest of my life. I still wonder if it's possible to get through all that, or if I messed everything up before I ever really got started..."

Pete was silent for a long moment; Dave listened to the bubbles popping around him. "You know who my favorite Star Wars character is?" Pete finally said. Before Dave could question this sudden change of topic, he continued. "Anakin Skywalker. I mean, he's a really interesting character. He was this really special kid who got snatched up and molded by everyone around him into doing things he didn't want to do. He reacted by lashing out and doing some incredibly stupid and destructive things. He crashed hard, and he decided he deserved it. He hated himself so much, he let the misery around him continue for years... Until he found out that not everything he loved was dead. Then he stood up for that — and in doing that, he went a long way to undoing the damage he'd done. And he redeemed himself."

Dave looked up at Pete... then scooped up some water in his hand and splashed Pete in the face, laughing as he sputtered. "Did you just compare me to Darth fucking Vader? Seriously, dude?"

Pete wiped his eyes, chuckling. "All I'm saying is that if a guy who genocided entire planets can find some kind of peace... So can you."

"Sure, if someone like George Lucas is writing the script. In real life, whoever's doing it is a real fucking bastard, so I'm not holding my breath."

"You need an attitude adjustment, man. I think you need to get laid."

"Don't I know it."

"So when are you? College is supposed to be for drinking and promiscuous sex. Everybody knows that."

Dave snickered. "Is that what you do?"

"Drink? Hell, yeah. Sex? Eh, that's a different thing entirely. I take it more seriously than most guys. I guess that's where my breakups came from. At least a big part of it."

"Then those guys were morons."

"Thank you, I agree. But you didn't answer my question."

Dave stretched out for a moment before answering. "Who'd want to?"

"What? Have sex with you?"

"Yeah. Or even anything before that. I mean, even if they got past the looks part, once they find out about what I used to be, that'd be a major buzzkill right there."

Pete frowned. "You still think that about yourself? I thought you were still seeing a therapist in California to get past all that."

"Yeah. But I'm still working on it. It's kind of hard when just thinking about being in a relationship makes me remember what I've done."

"Well, stop it. Okay, fine, I know it's not that easy, but seriously, people are more understanding than you think. I mean, you dump all sorts of stuff on me and I still like you."

"You put up with way too much of my shit to be normal."

"I have the patience of a saint, yes. But seriously, you're my friend. The good you bring into my life is more than worth listening to you whinge. I'm happy to be of help to you. I think you'll find that a lot more people are like me than you think."

Dave leaned back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes, concentrating on the relaxing warmth. "Yeah, well, to answer your question, unless you know a guy who wants to make out with a tubby pale dude with major issues, I don't think I'll be getting any anytime soon."

"What if I offered?"

Dave was suddenly conscious that Pete's voice was a lot closer now. He opened his eyes, and yes, Pete was now sitting right next to him, turned towards him; he could barely feel Pete's breath, even through the heat wafting off the surface of the roiling water.

"You forget, my friend, that you tell me everything. You've hardly ever done anything with a guy, have you? You're a little afraid to?"

Dave tried to speak; he couldn't.

"Maybe because you don't want to make the first move, because you're afraid that you'll hurt him like you did Kurt? Or because you still don't think you deserve to have a man in your life? Or because there's still that little lingering bit of your mom's and your pastor's voice in your head, telling you that it's dirty and shameful and wrong?" Pete cocked his head a little, a small gentle smile coming over him. "Well, they're kinda right about the dirty part, anyway."

Dave laughed, a shrill, piercing sound that he couldn't quite believe came out of his own throat. His heart pounded in his ears. Pete was so close, it was like he was all that was in the fucking world... "Maybe... maybe a little of all of that."

Pete nodded. "I... I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, or make you uncomfortable, but... I want you to know that if you did want to... touch me, that's okay. I want you to. You should know what it's like, before you meet someone who just wants a one night stand. And fuck it, I'm here, so why not?"

"Uh..."

"Come on, it's okay. I want to make sure..."

"I... God, Pete, I..."

"You do?" The smile grew wider.

"Y-yeah..."

"So why aren't you?"

"I..." I don't know. Maybe it was fear, or shock, or just general paralysis in the face of what was happening. All he knew was that his arms were like lead; for all he was screaming at them to move, they weren't.

Pete seemed to know this too (and God, how the fuck did he know Dave so well, with only a few months even knowing each other?). He gently took hold of Dave's wrists and guided them up out of the water. He placed Dave's shaking hands onto his chest. Dave's breath hitched, feeling the soft skin and hard muscle under his fingers. "It's okay, Dave," Pete repeated softly. "I want you to."

Dave had no idea what kind of dam broke, but break it did. He ran his hands up and down Pete's chest, his palms tickling against the sodden wisps of chest hair that hung here and there. His hands ran upward — because as much as he wanted to, he knew it was way too soon to go in the other direction — over the curves of Pete's shoulders and down his triceps, feeling the cables of muscle under the skin.

There he paused, his hands gripping Pete's arms. The journey had been achingly, painfully slow, but Pete hadn't moved a centimeter the entire time; he just looked Dave right in the eyes, his own bright and encouraging. Soon Dave felt Pete's hands on his arms, right where his were on Pete's. "I... I want to..."

"Shut up and do it," Dave growled.

It was Dave's second kiss — at least, the second that counted. It had a better life even before it started, not being born out of desperation and loneliness. This one was born of more honest emotions; while his first had been harsh and needy, this one was gentle and tender. There wasn't even any tongue, or an attempt at it; it was as though Pete was deliberately treading lightly, afraid of scaring Dave off somehow.

Like he could ever do that.

It only lasted a few seconds of objective time; Dave was pretty sure of that. But in his mind, it was both forever and a disappointing eyeblink of time when their lips separated. It was only then that Dave was conscious of the embrace that had come with the kiss, the press of Pete's muscular form against his, their arms wrapped over each other's torsos. It was only after a long minute looking into each other's eyes (and damn, Pete's was an awesome shade of green; how could he have forgotten how beautiful they were?) that they reluctantly parted.

"Wow..." Pete breathed.

"Yeah. Wow."

"That... That was... really great."

"Definitely," Dave huffed, chuckling. "Kind of unexpected, though."

"Why?"

"Because... I never figured you'd be interested in someone like me that way."

"Are you kidding? I flirted with you the first time we met! How could you interpret that in any other way than 'I want us to hump like bunnies'?"

Dave's own laughter just barely managed to penetrate his roiling mind. "I thought... I don't know what I thought. Maybe I thought you were just angling for a better tip. Or... Fuck, I saw those photos of your exes, so I figured I never had a chance!"

"Hey, I can be attracted to more than one type! Are you just attracted to guys like Kurt?"

Dave's laughter stopped as he paused to consider. Kurt and Pete were about as polar opposites as you could get physically, true. But their personalities... They were both outgoing, headstrong, smart, compassionate... Their souls were much the same.

"I know I might've fucked things up between us," Pete continued, "but damn, Dave, I just couldn't take it anymore. It just hurts when you put yourself down when you're such a sweet guy."

"Me? Sweet? Shut up!" Dave was pretty sure he was probably blushing, but thank God he couldn't feel it over the heat of the hot tub.

"I'm serious! I didn't know you back when you were in the closet and lashing out. I just know you now, and that's what you are. You're loved, man. You got your dad, your brother, your friends in California..." Pete swallowed audibly. "Me..."

"Christ, Pete, you're embarrassing me. Or yourself. I can't tell which yet." On some level, Dave knew he was trying to deflect, puncture the mood, so he wouldn't have to deal with his complicated mess of emotions. He hoped he'd fail. Fortunately for him, he did.

"I love you, Dave." Pete had half turned away at his own words, but locked eyes with Dave once more, almost pleading. "Not exactly in that way — I mean, we've only known each other for a few months, and I kinda hate that people just assume that love has to be romantic — but I do. I love you. Yeah, you're fucking hot, but you're a great guy and a good friend, and that's more important. That's why I care about you."

"Bet you say that to all the guys," Dave rumbled, not at all sincerely.

"To all my real friends? Absolutely. But that's a very selective group. You ask Colleen sometime."

"Do you kiss your real friends too?"

Pete blushed. "That was... that was impulse. I'm sorry if—"

"Seriously? You really think you need to apologize to me for that? If so, you're more delusional than I thought."

"It's just that we got this great thing going, being friends, but I'm really attracted to you and I don't want to screw up what we have..." Pete frowned, raising an eyebrow as Dave collapsed against the side of the hot tub, laughing. "Okay, I know there's a reason, but I don't know what it is right now..."

"Dude..." Dave gasped between peals of laughter. "Dude, I..." He finally managed to calm himself enough to speak. "Pete, I feel the same way about you."

"Yeah?" The word was casual, but it was tinged with a kind of painful hope that Dave could relate to, all too well.

"Yeah. I didn't want to screw up our friendship either. I mean, I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all, and I... I guess I was scared." The way I always am. The same fear that drove him to terrorize others. The same fear that put him in the closet, literally and figuratively. The same fear that Pete and Jack and California were eating away at, inch by inch, until maybe someday, it would be nothing but a tiny marble of helplessness, rolling almost ignored deep in his gut. "And... I love you too. The same way you do, I mean. You're the best friend I've had in a long time."

Pete inhaled, a sharp breath of emotion. "So..."

"So...?"

"So... where do we go from here? I mean, one of the reasons I kind of put this whole thing off is that we're on opposite sides of the country, and the long distance thing..."

"I know," Dave nearly whispered. "But... You've only got one more year at Florida State after this, right? What do you want to do after that? Where do you want to go?"

Pete shook his head. "I'm... not sure. I kinda wanted to stay on the East Coast, maybe Virginia or New York, but I know you want to stay in California after college, and..."

"You don't have to follow me, you know." Even though I kind of want you to. The realization that he wanted Pete to do what he wanted more than he wanted Pete to be with him was kind of liberating — and scary, because he knew it probably meant something about his feelings for Pete that he wasn't exactly sure how to deal with. Then again, it seemed they were both in that boat.

"Yeah. I know." They fell silent again; Dave kicked under the water, feeling its weight flow around his feet and ankles. "Maybe... maybe we could just take it slow, y'know? See where things go? We can get together here during the holidays. Maybe I could come visit you..."

"Or I could come visit you..."

"Yeah." Pete smiled. "That'd be great. Anyway, we could just see what happens. Maybe I'll change my mind about the East Coast..."

"Or I'll get sick of California and being so close to Jack..."

"But we've got time. And in the meanwhile, we have our friendship. If that's as far as we went... I think I'd be okay with it."

Dave nodded slowly. "Yeah. Me too."

This time the silence was comfortable. They had a plan. Maybe they didn't know where they'd end up, but where they were now wasn't so bad at all, and that was a lot more than a lot of people got.

"So..." Dave began, propping his hands onto the edge of the hot tub, "you ready for me to kick your ass at Halo again?"

"Uh... Not yet. I, uh... I think I want to stay in a little bit more." Pete blushed, his eyes flickering towards the surface of the water right in front of him. It somehow reminded Dave of himself when he first got into the tub, and... Oh.

Oh.

He'd done that. He, Dave Karofsky, had done that to the built, sweet, smart, hot Pete McCoy. He couldn't keep the smug smirk off his face as he settled back in.

"Why don't I keep you company, then?"

"Yeah... Thanks." Pete was still blushing. The water bubbled around them.

"So... Am I going to have to leave you alone when we get back to your house?"

"Shut up, Dave."

"Or I could just leave you alone here for a while. They got some soap in the locker room..."

"Shut up, Dave."

Dave laughed as he got his own faceful of hot chlorinated water.