It only took a few days for the orphanarium to be filled with kids. And by filled, I mean there are about ten kids.
But, it was still a challenge for Leela and her staff. While Bender had been able to keep track of twelve orphans in the past, but he had a leash and multiple other devices that Leela forbade him from using.
So, it was basically Leela, Amy, Hermes, Bender (if he felt up to it), and a few new staff members running around the orphanarium all day, making sure none of the orphans hurt themselves or each other.
But, they handled it alright. They were efficient and, again, they had new help.
They had Crunchy, someone who was born into a cult of Earthicans who followed the 1960s like a religion.
They also had Dolan, a teenage intern who couldn't give two cares about anything, but didn't curse and stayed off his phone. And he was willing to chase orphans all day.
Still, there were too many kids to keep track of. In fact, to all of the crew, these kids acted exactly the same and only differed in how they looked.
But, whatever they were doing seemed to be working, until one fateful night. This is when their first real problem arose.
One night, Leela was asleep in her bed, having moved into the orphanarium to be closer to the orphans, when she was rattled from her slumber. She opened her eye to see a blur that resembled a small orphan.
"Ms Leela," Little Orphan Phil stated, "I think there's something wrong with my bed."
"Aww," Leela sympathized, sitting up on her bed, "And why is that?"
"It feels like something on it is biting me," Little Orphan Phil explained.
"What," Leela questioned, "Let me see."
Little Orphan Phil then led Leela to the boys' bedroom and presented his bed.
"Hmm," Leela thought out loud, "It looks normal. Let me feel it."
As Leela placed a finger on the bed, she immediately felt many tiny bites.
"Ow," Leela groaned as she pulled her finger away, "Well, that's why we have the backup beds."
Leela led Little Orphan Phil to the back of the room and tucked him into one of the vacant beds.
"Good night Ms Leela," Little Orphan Phil cooed.
"Good night Phil," Leela stated as she got up and went back to her room.
As soon as Leela was cozy in her bed, she was stirred awake by another orphan.
"Mrs Leela," Little Orphan David stated, "I think there's something wrong with my bed."
"What do you mean," Leela groaned.
"It feels like something on it is biting me," Little Orphan David explained.
And, with that, Leela entered a rinse and repeat scenario. She put Little Orphan David into another spare bed and tried to go back to sleep. But, she was soon pestered by other orphans: Little Orphan Marty, Little Orphan Katie, Little Orphan Lauren.
Soon, Leela ran out of extra beds and was forced to have Little Orphan Lauren sleep in her bed, leaving her on a rug in the foyer.
But, not even this allowed her to rest, because Leela felt a little foot kicking her and she turned to see Little Orphan David.
"I already moved you," Leela moaned, "Please go to sleep."
"But I think there's something wrong with my backup bed," Little Orphan David complained.
At this point, all of the orphans were up and talking about the biting problem. So, when Leela and Little Orphan David walked into the hall with the bedrooms, they were all waiting for Leela to say something.
"Just let me look at Phil's bed," Leela announced, "I'm sure it's nothing."
As Leela entered the boys' bedroom, she turned on the lights and mentally prepped herself for the worst. She closely inspected Little Orphan Phil's bed and, unlike before, she saw something. It was small and she had to squint to see it, but she saw something.
There were swarms of bugs all over the bed. And, from what Leela could tell, they were pissed that an orphan had been lying on them all night.
Leela checked Little Orphan Matt's bed, and the bugs were there too. They were on Little Orphan Billy's bed, Little Orphan Marty's bed, Little Orphan David's bed; they were everywhere.
Same thing in the girls' bedroom: on every bed and in every nook and cranny of the room, bugs.
Clearly, there was only one for this job.
As Bender took a "well deserved" snooze in his closet, dreaming his favorite dream, he was awoken by a shrill voice.
"Bender," Leela disturbed, "Wake up."
"Huh," Bender stirred, "Leela, you better have a damn good explanation why you disturbed my favorite dream."
"We need your help with a security issue," Leela explained.
"Is this how it's going to be all the time," Bender asked, "Waking me up in the middle of the night because you heard a noise downstairs?"
"Just come with me," Leela grumbled, pulling Bender out of the closet.
And, when Leela and Bender returned, the bugs were so big, all you had to do was look at the beds and you'd see them everywhere.
"Holy macaroni," Bender exclaimed, "That's a lotta bugs."
"Right," Leela ordered, "Now get rid of them."
"What do you mean," Bender questioned.
"You're in charge of security," Leela argued, "Those bugs are unwanted guests. Get rid of them."
"Lady," Bender argued, "I have a wide variety of functions and abilities, but none of them are of any help in the art of bug killing."
"So what do you suggest we do," Leela asked.
"The only sensible thing we can do right now," Bender answered, "Blow the whole thing up and collect the insurance money."
"Or I could call a professional," Leela countered.
"Sure," Bender deadpanned, "If you wanna be a wuss about it."
The next morning, all of the orphans stood outside the orphanarium, along with Leela and her staff.
"What's taking this guy so long," Amy asked.
"Have patience, dear grasshopper," Crunchy countered, "We must wait for the man to come to us or he will never get here."
"What does this guy look like even," Hermes asked.
"He said we would know him when we see him," Leela responded.
"Look," Little Orphan David observed.
Then, from the sky, a giant moth started flying towards the ground. On it's back, a mysterious creature donning a skull mask, large robes, and a staff with a snow globe duct taped to the end. When the moth landed, everyone stared in awe as the creature walked off the back of the moth and approached Leela.
"Are you Turanga Leela," the creature asked.
"Yes I am," Leela stated.
"I have a package for you," the creature stated, holding out a piece of paper, "If you'll just sign here."
"Oh," Leela stammered, signing the creature's piece of paper, "Sure."
"Thanks," the creature thanked, taking back his paper, "Grimbo!"
On command, the moth spit out a package and it landed in the creature's arms, whom then passed it on to Leela.
"You have yourself a nice day now," the creature stated.
Then, the creature hopped back onto his moth and the moth burst into the sky and flew away.
"Well, that happened," Bender gasped.
"So, what are we supposed to be looking for," Leela asked.
"Sorry I'm late," a voice with a heavy country accent said from behind everyone. They all turned around to see a guy with a huge goatee, wearing a blue jumpsuit, and holding an electric guitar.
"Is that.." Amy stuttered.
"I really hope not," Leela gasped, "Are you the bug guy?"
"Indeed I am," the guy responded, "Name's Norm."
"Of course you are," Leela muttered.
"I thought you said we'd know you when we see you," Hermes objected.
"You just knew me, didn't ya," Norm questioned, "Besides, even if you didn't recognize me from my commercials, there's always this."
Norm then jumped and did a 180° turn in the air, revealing his jumpsuit says "Norm the Bug Killer" on the back.
"There's an elegant touch," Leela murmured.
"What's with the guitar," Amy asked.
"That's how I kill the bugs," Norm answered, "Every different strum I make releases a different gas designed to kill different bugs."
"Can he live with us," Little Orphan Matt asked.
"Let's just get inside and I'll show you the bugs," Leela murmured.
"You're the boss," Norm replied.
"Mister," Little Orphan Matt asked, "Will you be able to get the bugs out of our orphanarium?"
"Of course I will," Norm reassured, "Because there is no bug in this existence that can stand up to Norm the Bug Killer!" And, on that note, Norm followed Leela inside.
"I think he was lying to me," Little Orphan Matt suggested, "I don't think he'll be able to kill those bugs."
"Don't think like that," Hermes stated, "He'll send those bugs to hell lickety split. That's what we pay him for."
"What if the bugs go to Heaven," Little Orphan Matt asked.
"Then we'll only pay him half price," Hermes grumbled.
Then, right after that statement, Norm and Leela came running from the orphanarium.
"Those bugs are insane," Norm stammered, "They're big as hamsters. I can't take those guys out."
"I thought you could kill any bug," Bender demanded.
"I lied," Norm confessed.
"You sound just like my parents when they said they were never gonna give me up, let me down, turn around, or desert me," Little Orphan Terri complained.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Norm apologized, "But you people are going to have to look for help elsewhere."
And, so, Norm ran off into the sunset, screaming like a little girl.
"Great," Hermes griped, "Now what are we going to do? We'll never be able to pay for someone else to do this."
"What if I did it," Leela asked.
"Hahahahahahaha," Bender laughed, "Seriously, though, let's try and think of real options."
"Why shouldn't I do it," Leela questioned.
"Well," Bender stammered, "You do own the orphanarium. What if you don't want to break anything to get rid of the bugs?"
"Why do things have to be broken," Leela questioned.
"You just manage to suck the fun out of everything, don't you," Bender questioned.
"I think Leela should do it," Amy stated, "She's always saved Fry and Bender in the past. I bet this will be child's play to her."
"Scruffy don't give a dang," Scruffy grumbled.
"If the bugs can not be peacefully dealt with," Scruffy philosophized, "Then, I guess Leela would best serve as their executioner."
"Alright," Leela stated, "I just have to round up some stuff to help me kill these things."
"I don't think Ms Leela should do it," Little Orphan Lauren objected, "What if she dies in there?"
"Aww," Leela cooed, "She's concerned about me."
"Of course I am," Little Orphan Lauren stated, "If you die, who will defend me when I do something bad?"
"Really," Leela angrily questioned, "That's why you don't want me to die?"
"I'm sorry," Little Orphan Lauren cowered, "Please don't be mad."
"Aww," Leela cooed, "I could never be mad at you. Come here."
Leela then proceeded to pick up Little Orphan Lauren and spin her around, causing her to cheer.
"Better," Leela asked after the spinning stopped.
"Yup," Little Orphan Lauren reassured.
"Good," Leela cooed.
"So," Bender questioned, "Are you gonna kill those bugs or what?"
About ten minutes later, Leela was ready to go. She'd put on a jumpsuit, gotten a huge gun full of bug spray, and a protective lens for her eye.
"Any last minute advice for me," Leela asked.
"If there are any large, glowing sections of their bodies," Bender suggested, "Whack 'em there."
"Gee, thanks," Leela deadpanned, "I'll remember that next time I play Resident Evil 333: Half a Satan."
"I get lonley," Bender objected, "I play a lot of video games."
"Right," Leela stated, walking away from Bender, "I'll let you get back to stealing coins and killing innocent block people."
"You wouldn't know that unless you play the games," Bender yelled.
After a short walk, Leela kicked in the front door of the orphanarium. She started staking the place out, slowly, looking for any buggy troublemakers.
Suddenly, a thumping was heard from behind Leela. She looked behind her to see a little orphan whose name she couldn't remember standing there, staring at her.
"Hey," Leela called out, "You shouldn't be in here." No response.
"Can you hear me," Leela asked, "You need to go outside and join everybody else." No response.
"Look," Leela grumbled, walking to Little Orphan No Name, "I don't want to get mean, but you need to leave, so I will eject you from the building if I need to."
But, when Leela approached exactly four feet from Little Orphan No Name, the little child's skin started to crack and churn, as if something inside of it was trying to escape.
"I don't know how you're doing that," Leela stammered, slowly backing away, "But please stop it."
Then, Little Orphan No Name's skin lost it's dimensions and became flat as a piece of cloth. When the skin was unveiled, it was revealed that the skin was merely a cover for a horrible bugs.
The bugs had grown, and were now the size of a great dane.
"Oh my," Leela gasped, "Those things must have gone through a growth spurt."
Leela grabbed her gun of bug spray and sprayed the beast in it's face. This caused the bug to flip out and fall onto it's back, dying. But, as it died, it let out a blood chilling screech.
This alerted the other bugs to emerge from hiding. There must have been hundreds. But, when they saw that their bug brother had died, a small group of them gathered it and held hands, showing respect for their brother's sacrifice.
"Sorry to be a party crasher," Leela quipped, "But we've reached the point where everyone's drunk and passed out on the floor. Oh gosh, that was terrible."
Then, the bugs started swarming around Leela, making sure she had no means of escape. She kept firing her gun at them, but there were so many of them that she ran out of ammo before she could make a dent in their numbers. They eventually pushed Leela to the ground and were ready for a feast.
Meanwhile, outside the orphanarium, everyone was still waiting patiently for Leela to complete her task.
"She's been in there a long time," Amy observed.
"Maybe she's dead," Bender theorized.
"Hope she isn't expecting an expensive funeral," Hermes grumbled, "Anybody want to work on an alibi?"
"Hey," Little Orphan Lauren asked, "What's that eating out of our garbage?"
Bender, Amy, and Hermes looked to see rustling coming from a garbage can near the orphanarium.
"I dunno," Bender stated, "Guess a brave soul..."
Bender was interrupted by Amy and Hermes pushing Bender towards the orphanarium.
"I don't even have a soul," Bender objected, escaping Amy and Hermes' grasps, "Alright, but I'd better find some vodka in my closet later."
As Bender started walking towards the trash can, he noticed the rumbling from inside was getting louder. When he finally reached the trash can, he lifted the lid and instantly went from petrified to pissed off.
"It's just Zoidberg," Bender yelled.
"Why does everybody always refer to me like that," Zoidberg asked, "Zoidberg is not only a 'just'."
"What are you even doing here," Hermes asked.
"You threw out yesterday's meatloaf," Zoidberg answered, "A waste of good substenance. What are you all doing out here?"
"There are bugs inside the building," Amy answered, "We have to wait out here until Leela clears the place out."
"What kind of bugs are they," Zoidberg asked.
"We don't know," Hermes answered, "We were too busy running away from them."
"You all are fools," Zoidberg objected, "There is only one who can stop those bugs, and that is me."
Zoidberg then went whooping with his crab walk into the orphanarium.
"Should we stop him," Amy asked.
"If you want to stop him, be my guest," Bender stated.
But, everyone just continued to stare at the orphanarium.
Inside, things were getting very ugly. The bugs had Leela over a fire, having grown a few feet taller than Leela and getting ready to cook and eat her. Meanwhile, the bugs were singing Little White Lies by the Romantics in their native language.
"I may be very upset," Leela grumbled, "But I'm also pretty shocked that I found myself in a situation like this after quitting Planet Express."
Suddenly, there was a thud. And a crash. And a voice.
"You bugs think you're so tough," Zoidberg announced, "Allow me to put you in your proper place."
"Oh great," Leela thought, "Now I have to hear him right before I die. Or maybe I already died and this is hell."
The bugs stopped singing and one started talking to another in their weird language. The one being spoken to was probably being told to take out Zoidberg, since the bug started menacingly walking towards Zoidberg. But, the bug's menacing demeanor was taken away when Zoidberg grabbed the bug by the shoulders, put it's head in his mouth, and bit it off, leaving the bug as a headless husk that immediately fell dead.
The bugs started acting terrified, until they decided to gang up on Zoidberg. So, three bugs went to get Zoidberg at once. But, Zoidberg simply did what he did to the first bug two more times. The third bug, though, got something special. Zoidberg also shoved it's head inside his mouth, but instead of biting down, Zoidberg continued shoving the rest of the bug into his mouth until he swallowed the entire bug in one gulp.
This royally freaked the rest of the bugs out. They all left the orphanarium any way they could and ran as fast as they could away from the building.
"And don't come back unless you feel like giving Zoidberg another free buffet," Zoidberg called out.
"Zoidberg," Leela gasped while Zoidberg untied her, "You saved my life."
"Of course," Zoidberg brushed off, "I'm a doctor. I won't just sit idly by when someone else is dying and I can help them."
"I wish there was something I could do to repay you," Leela wished.
"You could not swat me away when you see me eating from your garbage," Zoidberg offered.
"Actually," Leela thought out loud, "I might have a better idea."
Later that day, the staff of the orphanarium was crammed into Leela's office while Leela explained Zoidberg's new job to Zoidberg.
"So, if there were any problems related to insects or other edible creatures," Leela explained, "We would send you to take care of it instead of Bender."
"Can I have my own closet," Zoidberg asked.
"You better believe you're getting your own," Bender yelled, "I'm not sharing a tiny space with someone as slimy as you."
"And it's all right in the contract we're about to print up," Leela explained, "Bender?"
"Telling me to do all this stuff," Bender moaned, followed by a contract falling from his mouth.
"Just sign on the dotted line," Leela instructed.
"I'll sign anything if it means Zoidberg gets a room to himself," Zoidberg thought out loud, signing the contract.
"It's all set," Leela stated, "Welcome to the staff. I'd shake your hand, but, you know..."
"This is so crazy," Amy gasped, "It's like the old Planet Express crew is slowly getting rebuilt."
"No, it's not," Leela objected, "Zoidberg is our last hire from the old Planet Express crew. Everyone else us being kept out of this."
"Jeez," Amy groaned, "You didn't have to get so snippy about it."
"Speaking of crew," Hermes asked, "Has anybody seen Crunchy?"
At that very moment, the bugs were running from the orphanarium, one of them holding Crunchy like he was a bride.
"If you are going to cook and eat me," Crunchy objected, "I must insist that you soak me in low fat oils."
The bug carrying Crunchy responded by hissing at him.
"Sweet, man," Crunchy responded.