Thank you for all the reviews on the previous chapter… I like reading what you have to say … it makes me smile to know you are all enjoying this story so far and I hope you continue to enjoy it.
Barry stood up from the sofa where he had previously been sat beside Caitlin, casually talking about anything and nothing – the point to their conversation is that they didn't have one. Whatever they thought about they discussed it – if anything they were just passing time after finishing dinner, Caitlin not wanting to run out of the house the moment they had finished eating as that would be rude and Barry doing his best to make sure Caitlin felt comfortable in his company, he didn't want to come across as wanting her to leave; he wanted her to feel welcome. When they first started dinner Barry was still unsure about if he was doing the right thing but the more they talked the more he relaxed and accepted the idea of having Caitlin in his house.
Caitlin followed him with her eyes as he went over to the dining table and began to collect the plates they had use for dessert. "Evie" Barry spoke catching the attention of his daughter who sat in front of the warm fire, taking great care in brushing her dolls hair – the doll whose name Caitlin had found out not fifteen minutes ago is name Sally, Evie never gave her a reason behind the name other than she called it Sally which Caitlin was happy to accept as a reasoning, not that she asked the youngster for a reason.
"Yes daddy" Evie responded the brush pausing in the hair on the three foot doll as she looked at her father.
"Can you please go and change for bed and I'll be up to read you a story when I have loaded the dishwasher?" Barry asked when really Caitlin knew he was telling her to go upstairs and changed. He wasn't giving her an option.
"Can Cait read to me?" Evie asked which took Caitlin by surprise as she looked at Evie, her attention being drag away from the girl and in Barry's direction at the sound of a plate cracking on the hard wood floor due to the plate he was currently holding fell from his hand with a crash. "Daddy you're so clumsy" Evie laughed standing up from the floor with her doll, placing it onto the armchair by the fire and her brush onto the end table beside it.
Barry looked at his daughter in shock as he never expected that question to leave her mouth, ignoring the plate on the floor as he battled with what to you. "Ermmm – yes – I mean if she wants to – maybe you should ask Caitlin if she wants to" Barry stumbled over his words too in shock to think properly or how to answer it; a part of him hoping that Caitlin would reject the idea and offer to leave instead, he's only just come around to the idea of having Caitlin in the house – let alone upstairs in his house.
"I don't mind, if Evie wants me to" Caitlin responded which isn't what Barry wanted to hear. He wanted her to say she can't do it and she has to leave for whatever reason. "Why don't you do as your daddy said and go and get your pyjamas on and I'll help your daddy pick that broken plate up and then I will come upstairs and read to you?" Caitlin said knowing it is best if Evie takes herself and her bare feet upstairs before she cuts herself on the pieces of broken pottery that is covering the dark wooden floor.
"Goodnight daddy" Evie said walking over towards him, only for Barry to move away from the broken plate to pick Evie up before she cuts her feet.
"Goodnight Evie, I love you" Barry pressed his lips to his daughter head, holding her tighter than Caitlin had seen him do so before – even last night when she had gone missing he never held her that tight; so tight that Caitlin feared he would crush the youngster if he didn't let go of her soon. Walking over to the stairs Barry placed Evie down at the bottom of the stairs.
"I love you too Daddy" Evie smiled up at her father before running up the stairs and out of sight.
"Do you have a dustpan?" Caitlin asked having removed herself from the sofa while Barry was saying goodnight to his daughter and was now crouched down beside the broken plate, picking up the larger bits but being unable to pick up the smaller bits without a dustpan and brush.
"Yes, I'll go get it but you don't have to clear that up – I can do it" Barry told her going into the kitchen to retrieve what Caitlin had asked for.
"I wanted to help – you have no idea how many children come into the emergency room with piece of broken glass or pottery imbedded into the soles of their feet" Caitlin spoke shaking her head at the amount of time she has removed some glass or pot from a child's foot due to parents not watching them when they have dropped something, she must see it at least three to four times a week, all of them in need of stitches once the broken item has been removed.
Having collected all the larger parts of the plate, Caitlin took them into the kitchen disposing of them into the trash while Barry began to sweep the small piece up, after hearing what Caitlin said to him and knowing Evie likes to run around the house barefooted he paid extra attention to what he was doing to make sure he got every piece up, even the smallest ones just to be safe, the last thing he needs is a dash to the emergency room with Evie because of him being unable to hold a plate.
Excusing herself, Caitlin made her way up the stairs wondering which room was Evie's only to see her name in large pink letters with white polka dots with a small fairy beside it attached to the door. Slowly pushing the door open she stepped into the bedroom to see Evie sat up on the bed under the sheets, a book placed on the bed beside her. Caitlin looked around the room at the three light pink walls the fourth having a mural on the wall, the whole of the fourth wall covered in trees and flowers with little fairies scatters inbetween yet they looked as if they had been put there with a lot of planning as every single one of them looked to be in the right place making it not look as scattered and spontaneous as Caitlin had first thought. Walking over to Evie Caitlin picked the book up and smiled at the cover and title.
"Tangled" Caitlin read the title out loud; unsure if she was asking Evie a question to make sure this is what she wanted but also telling herself what it is. The book being rather thin and clearly a book that goes with the movie.
"I like this one – have you seen the movie?" Evie asked patting the bed beside her.
"I have" Caitlin admitted, the night when she sat in her apartment alone and watched it with takeout food and a pile of chips, chocolate and ice cream but Evie doesn't need to know the details of that night; all the little girl needs to know is that she has seen it and that is all. Carefully sitting on the bed beside Evie, resting her back against the white sparkly headboard – her feet stretched out in front of her on the bed. She crossed her ankles and opened the book to the first page.
The memory of her mother or father sitting beside her at night reading to her before she went to sleep as a child, Caitlin still believes it is because her mother or father read to her each night when she was younger that she fell in loves with books. She will never admitted it at the time but her father was always her favourite as he would give each character a different voice making the story more exciting to her but at the same time she loved it when her mother read to her because she would lay her head on her chest, her mother's protective arm wrapped around her as he slow silky voice read the words on the page in front of them.
Pushing the childhood memories to the back of her mind, Caitlin cleared her throat and focused on the first page as she began to read. "Once upon a time a princess named Rapunzel was born. Rapunzel was a very special girl whose magical hair had the power to heal the sick and injured, and could keep people from growing old. Mother Gothel, a vengeful old woman who wanted to remain forever young, stole the princess and locked her away in a tower. To keep Rapunzel from leaving, the woman told her the world outside was full of danger and horrible, selfish people."
Coming to the end of the first page, Caitlin looked down at Evie who had taken it upon herself to lie her head down onto her pillow, turned onto her side to face Caitlin as she listened to the story. Turning the page Caitlin continued to read, taking a moment every now and then when she came to a full stop to look down at Evie to see her eyes slowly beginning to close. No longer interested in the bright colours of the pictures that sit alongside the text she is reading. Turning the page again, Caitlin looked to Evie once again to see her almost asleep so decided to stop reading.
"What about Flynn Rider?" Evie asked half asleep, Turning the page she could see the illustration of Flynn on the next page making her wonder how many times Evie had read or has had this read to her to know that on the third page Flynn Rider comes into the story – with a small smile she continued to read the third page
"Take me to see the floating lights –"Caitlin finished the third page to see Evie fast asleep. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she pushed herself up onto her feet placing the book on the table beside her so Barry can finish it off with her tomorrow night. Grabbing the sheets, Caitlin pulled them up to Evie's chin making sure she is well covered as the nights are becoming colder and colder with each passing day and she doesn't want Evie becoming sick. "Goodnight Evie" Caitlin whispered before slowly backing out of the room, flicking the light off as she went and pulling the door to before heading for the stairs.
"Well Rapunzel is about to see the floating lights" Caitlin said while walking back down the stairs, her eyes fixed on the stairs not wanting to fall down them.
"She made you read that one" She heard Barry respond with a light hearted chuckle drawing her attention to him.
Barry sat on the sofa with his head in his hands, his long slender fingers knocked in his brown locks when he heard Caitlin speak to him. He never expected her to have such an impact on Evie, he didn't really expect to see her again after tonight unless he finds himself in Central City Hospital – something he doesn't plan on doing any times soon; but having witnessed how fond of Caitlin Evie has become he knows that he can't just cut Caitlin out of their lives now, she's a friend now but that doesn't mean that he is ok with her reading to her daughter on the second night he has seen her. He isn't ok with Caitlin going upstairs in his house but he couldn't say no to his little girl, not when she looked so happy and excited at the idea. One thing he does know is he isn't going to lose his mind at the idea of someone else reading a bedtime story to his little girl; even when she wants the same story almost every night because it is his job as her father to do those things – so share these moment with his little girl because before he knows it she is going to be too old for a bedtime story, then she will go through her faze of hating him, then she will be leaving home and going off to college only coming home again for the holidays and then she will be moving out completely and living her own life, So these moment he has to share with her while he can.
"Barry, are you ok?" Caitlin asked placing her hand on to his shoulder making him jump as he never expected her to touch him; he didn't even know she was close enough to touch him.
"I'll be fine, just adjusting" he responded with another light laugh as he removed he head from his hands to look over his shoulder at Caitlin.
"Would you like to talk about?" she removed her hand from his shoulder and rounded the couch to sit down beside him, letting him know she is an ear if he wanted to talk about everything.
"I don't think now is the time" Barry responded grasping the brown glass bottle of his bear in his hand and bringing it to his lips.
"I am a doctor so anything you say is confidential – just because I'm not on the job doesn't mean it doesn't apply" Caitlin took a drink of her soda looking at him, seeing the idea running in his mind. Almost as if she could see the cogs working behind his eyes as he made a decision on what to do. "So Barry Allen, what is your story?" Caitlin asked trying to make more sense of the man in front of her, up to now he has remained a mystery. Thinking about it she knows nothing about him apart from his name, his daughter and his address she knows nothing about him as a person and everyone has a story right?
"There isn't much to say"
"Come on Barry I know nothing about you, I don't even know what you do for a living yet you know mine" Caitlin tried to get something out of him but she didn't expect it to be as hard as trying to get blood out of a stone.
"I am a MARSOC" Barry looked at her to see the confused look on Caitlin's face which brought a smile to his face. "I'm a Sergeant in the Marine Special Operations Command." Barry explained deciding to put Caitlin out of her confused misery.
"So you're Sergeant Allen not Mr Allen" She asked only to Barry to nod in agreement. "So what exactly do you do Sergeant Allen?"
"It's all confidential so I can't speak about it but I am on call twenty-four-Seven; Three hundred and Sixty-Five days of the year. I can be called in anytime for a mission, deployed anywhere in the world for however long it takes. I can be here with Evie one minute and gone the next and she never knows when I am coming home but I have people who help me. they take care of her whenever I need them too – no questions asked; mainly because they know I can't telling them about it, not even when I am back"
"So you're like the marine version of a navy seal?" Caitlin asked laughing to herself.
"Yes I am" Barry replied making her laughter die instantly. When she said it was a joke she never thought that is exactly what he does for a living.
"How does your wife feeling about your job?" she asked knowing the topic of his wife needs to come up so why delay what needs to be spoken about, so she decided now would be the time to ask about her; after all if Barry was her husband she couldn't imagine her husband having that job knowing he could leave at any moment – not knowing where he is going or when he will be back. From what he is saying – when he is away he can't even contact home so no one back home knows if he is safe or not. The idea is terrifying to her.
"How do you know I'm married?" Barry asked confused, he never mentioned Emma so how would Caitlin know that he is married – why can't he be a single father?
"Your ring" Caitlin pointed out the obvious, nodding her head towards his left hand where the silver band wrapped around his finger. "The photo from your wedding that I noticed on the table by the door when I arrived"
"Oh" Barry began to play with the silver band. Feeling like a fool for asking such a question when the biggest give away is on his hand. Not to mention the photos of Emma around the house that Caitlin would be sure to see unless she walked around the house with her eyes shut then she wouldn't have been able to avoid them. "Emma passed away four years ago, since then it's been Evie and I. We have my adoptive family who help when I get a mission, Joe mainly he's my adoptive father, Iris and Wally both help me out when they can. They're my adoptive siblings." Barry explain part of his complicated back story, he didn't mean to share this much with her but for some reason he is finding it very easy to talk to her and now that he's started to open up he doesn't know if he will be able to stop now.
"I'm so sorry, That must have been hard for both you and Evie. How did she – you know – pass away if you don't mind me asking?" Caitlin asked unsure if it was the right thing to do but her curiosity got the best of her. She watched as Barry exhaled hard, took a long gulp from his bottle of beer before turning to face her.
"Breast cancer" Barry found the words leaving his mouth before he could think about it. "She didn't spot it and when she finally I took some time off to be with her while we tried to fight it but it was too late. She continued to have treatment but stopped responding to it and we finally lost the battle. I spent some time with Evie then I went back to work, I needed the distraction and work did that for me. looking back now I regret my decision to go back so soon; Evie had just lost her mother, I had just lost my wife and all I could think about was myself – what I needed. Evie needed me more than ever and I wasn't there, I happily jumped at the mission when it came in which put the rest of my brothers in danger because I wasn't thinking clearly and I could have got each of my brother in my unit killed. I was their leader and my mind wasn't on the job. Looking back now it is the worst decision I ever made, Evie needed me and I wasn't there for her. I selfishly put myself first but when you're a father you can't do that – your child comes first but I can't rewind the clock so now when I am here I spend as much time with her as I can; I know it isn't going to make up for the past but it is all I can do – I am both parent to her now and it's my job to protect her"
He didn't know where all what he said came from but this is the first time he has ever really spoken about Emma, her death and his actions shortly after. The first time he has spoken about his regret – not even Joe knows these things but for some reason talking to Caitlin came easy to him; maybe it is because she isn't family and he has nothing to prove to her. To his family he doesn't want them to know he was struggling at the time, he wanted to put on a mask that showed everyone he was coping while on the inside he was dying himself. Throughout Emma's treatment, when she died and afterwards when he had to hold himself together for Evie – he didn't want to show his weakness to his family. He wanted them to believe he was adjusting to a life without Emma but even he knew that after four years of marriage he wasn't going to bounce back and be fine but he didn't want them to know that. In total he had been with Emma eight years, dating for three years before asking her to marry him, he woke up next to her almost every day for six and half years then suddenly she was gone and their bed felt a lot bigger when he was alone. He had to learn to rebuild his life, to adjust to her not being there and it was difficult
"I'm sorry Barry, I shouldn't have asked it's not my place to" Caitlin placed her hand onto his giving it a small squeeze as she noticed the place he had gone to while talking. A place she knew wasn't this room because she's been in that position as well after her parents died she threw herself into her work. It's not the same situation as Barry as she didn't have a child to look after but she knows that place you go where you replay the memories back in your head.
"No, it is fine this is actually the first time I have really spoken about it and I feel a weight being lifted. I have kept all this to myself for far too long" Barry flashed her a smile; hoping it would show her that he is ok with talking about it, finding that he does actually want to talk about it with her because she isn't family and he doesn't have to show his strength to her – he can show a little vulnerability when with her, he can allow the mask to slip a little.
"Are you sure?" Caitlin ask as she doesn't want to push him on this, he did say that this is the first time he has spoken about this topic and she doesn't want to push him too far; but at the same time she knows how much tension can be realised after bottling up your emotions for so long. For once she actually knows how someone else is feeling emotional.
"It's not that I'm not used to death, my father died when I was the same age as Evie, he also served in the marines and was killed in action. My mother died when I was ten she had Cardiomyopathy which is a diseases of the heart muscle"
"I know what it is, I am a doctor" Caitlin interrupted him before he went into a full explanation of the condition.
"Right – Sorry." Barry shot her an apologetic look "She was on the transplant list but they never found a match for her in time. I would have ended up in the care system if Joe hadn't of promised my mother that he would take me in if anything was to happen to her, I guess I am just lucky that my parents had a friend like Joe or else who knows where I could have ended up. I guess I still would have joined the marines because of the stories my mother told me about my dad. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a marine just like him; but if it wasn't for Joe then I may not have met Emma and I wouldn't have Evie but he's always said it was the right thing to do – enough about me, what about you Doctor Snow; what about your family?"
"It's just me, my father was put into care from birth and was passed around from foster home to foster home, so not grandparents on that side. My mother's father left her and my grandma when she was a baby for another woman. My Grandmother died a couple of months after I was born so I never knew her as for my parents they were killed in a car accident six years ago" Caitlin paused realising just like Barry she hasn't spoken about this for years, the last person she spoke about her parents death with was a bereavement councillor she visited for a while to help her cope with having lost everything and everyone in her life. "They were in the car and hit some black ice which sent the car skidding to the side of the road where they collided with a barrier" Her voice caught in her throat as she thought about the way her parents was ripped away from her, leaving her alone, all by herself with no other family to think of "killing them both instantly." She finished having stood in the hospital, a doctor taking her into a room to break the news to her, having seen their accident reported on the news; why she watched the news coverage of her parents death she doesn't know but the image of the beaten up car that she had been in many times at the side of the road all beaten and battered, that image will stay with her until the day she dies.
"I guess we're both victims of lose" Barry looked at her with a lob sided smile trying to lighten the mood while holding his beer out to her.
"I guess we are" Caitlin tapped the rim her glass of soda against the bottle in agreement. Both of them realising they have more in common with the other than they first thought.
"I know Evie was only young when Em died and she doesn't remember it all happening but I sometimes wonder how she feels about it, I try to remind her about Emma as often as I can and how much she loved Evie. To Emma, Evie was all that mattered. She loved her so much and I want Evie to always remember that. It's the reason I keep so many photos of her around the house so Evie never forgets her." Barry admitted looking at the photo of the three of them that sat on the mantel above the fire.
"I don't think Evie will ever forget her, just like you remember your parents and I remember mine; They're always with us no matter what we do" Caitlin hoped her words would help Barry, he doesn't have to remind Evie every day about her mother, over time Evie will remember her from the stories Barry tells her over the years.
"Emma knew she was dying, I knew she was but neither of us wanted to admit it to the other but she was prepared. When she died she left a box of letters and other things for Evie – One for every major event in her life. I haven't read any of them because it isn't my place to do so they're for Evie from her mother; I have looked in the box at what Em left for her, things like her thirtieth, sixteenth and twenty-first birthday, high school graduation, the first time she gets her heart broken, college graduation and all the other major events in her life like marriage and when she has her first child. In a letter she wrote to me with instructions as to what to do with them I was told to give them to her on each of those events because she might not be there but she can still offer her daughter advice." Barry felt the single tear that ran down his cheek at the thought of Emma, the advice she knew she would be able to pass onto Evie even when she isn't here. The advice only a mother can give to her daughter – something he can't do himself and knowing Emma spent her limited time on earth making sure their daughter was taken care of means everything to him because not only will it help Evie as she grows up but she was also helping him on the issues he isn't going to be able to help Evie through.
Caitlin watched as Barry wiped the single tear from his cheek "And each of them letters will not only help Evie as she grows up but also remind her that her mother is still with her, caring for her" Caitlin spoke after a moment of silence, deciding it would be best to ignore the tear Barry had shed because she knows all too well how hard it is to hold back the tears from the people around you and how betrayed you feel when that single tear escapes because the mask you put on for show around people slips away; showing people the hurt and anger underneath.
"I was so mad, for months I was angry at the world for taking such a great person from me – from us. She was the kind of person who wouldn't kill a spider instead to would catch it and then she would take it outside to release it again. She never hurt anyone; she was an elementary school teacher, she taught kids to read all she wanted to do was teach Evie to read and she never got the chance." The tears began to roll down Barry's cheeks as he thought about the life that was ripped from his wife, all the things she wanted to do but never got the chance too, the plans they had made and the places they planned on going all gone in what felt like moments but in reality was ten months. "I'm sorry" Barry looked towards Caitlin having not expected to turn into a blubbering baby in front of her.
Reaching over to the side table next to the sofa, Caitlin grabbed the box of tissues Barry left there and handed them to him. "It's ok to cry, it's good for you to let that emotion out. You said you have never spoken about this so it's going to be hard for you" Caitlin told him, hoping it would bring a little comfort to him. Pulling his larger body into her she hugged him while he cried on her shoulder but she didn't care if her shoulder became soaked in his tears because she knew what he was feeling, she wished someone was there for her when her parents died so the least she can do is be there for Barry – to be that person she wished she had for him – someone to listen to him and offer him comfort if only a little.
So that was chapter three or the second part to the previous chapter … what did you think?
What do you think will happen next or more importantly what do you want to happen next?
I really hope you liked this chapter and thank you for reading.
Any feedback would be well appreciated – I like knowing what you all think.
Thank you again
Also I have corrected the mistakes I have spotted and sorry if I have missed some.
I will try and post the next chapter as soon as I can.