A/N: hey guys! funsizedforever and I are back with another chapter of Freeze Your Brain! We really hope all of you are enjoying it so far :). Leave us a comment in the review section or in our IM's. Enjoy!
Buttchin Mr. Schue's POV
Another "F", I think to myself. Yesterday, I had given my 6th period Spanish class their los indirectos complementos quiz. Most of them did poorly. I think that the way I taught this subject is quite effective. My song about these indirect objects to the tune of La Cucaracha was catchy, an earworm. It would have helped my students much more if they actually listened. I gave out a lot of detentions this week for various reasons…
Just as I touch my red pen Puckerman's quiz (probably another F), a few static scratches escape from the P.A. catch my attention. I stare at the speaker, like it's going to move or something.
Principal Figgins clears his throat before he begins his announcement. "William Schuster… and-" I already know what name is going to follow mine. "-and Sue Sylvester." Knew it. "Please report to my office IMMEDIATELY!"
Not only did I know who I was going to talk to Figgins with, but I also knew what this was going to be about. Sue's Corner. Sue and her horrific comments on Heathers. I was not able to view the report first-hand, nor hear everything she said. However, from what Finn and Rachel told me, I had a pretty good idea of how damaging this report could be to our show.
As I walk to the office, I pass Finn and Rachel at Finn's locker. Rachel notices me and runs up to me. She walks with me as I continue on.
"Mr. Schuster? Is this about our production? I can come with you if you-"
"No, Rachel, it's fine. Things like this always happen with Sue and Figgins. It'll work out fine, just give me half an hour." Finn catches up with Rachel and me.
"Mr. Schue, what if they don't let us do Heathers at school? What will we do then?" I never really thought of this circumstance. Sue has gotten me into a lot of trouble before, but she made some of the harshest comments ever towards me during that report. Exploiting teen sexuality? Me being a convicted pedophile? Those were just wrong. Unacceptable.
"Well, Finn. I'm definitely not going to change the musical." Rachel lets out a quiet cheer. The three of us pass Emma in the hallway. I smile.
"Maybe," I continue, "we could find another auditorium to perform at. The music in this show suits our variety of personalities and voice types too well. Sue might be able to take our auditorium away, but not our show." When I finish this statement, we are at Figgins' door.
"Good luck, Mr. Schue," Rachel tells me in a strangely serious way.
"Thank you, Rachel," I say with a fake, sort-of-sympathetic smile.
I take a breath, adjust my tie, and walk in. Sue is already there when I arrive.
"Huh-hey! Pervert Pants! Nice to see ya!" She gets up from her chair and playfully punches my arm. "Now we all know why you wanted my Cheerios in your stupid little choir!"
"Enough Sue!" Higgins cuts her off. He clears his throat again, just like he did over the P.A.
"Ah, William Schuster," he begins. "I talked to my pastor about you, again. Sue told me about your stage shenanigans for this new Heaters show you are doing with your glee club. She informed me about your true intentions for this show! After consulting with my parish on this matter, I'd like to let you know this is not an appropriate show for our students to perform! The content in this program is a disgrace to McKinley. It puts shame to the entirety of Lima, of Western Ohio! I will not let our students rub each other's lower halves on each other! They cannot depict intercourse!I will not let them say such vulgar languages and sing such disgusting lyrics in front of hundreds of people! You change the show or I fire you!"
"Principal Figgins," I start calmly, "I believe Sue has given you, and Western Ohio, the wrong idea about our show. Yes, I know you're worried about some of the dialogue and songs in the show, but I'll let you know that we've made some changes to make it more school appropriate. We cut out a couple songs and replaced them with a few simple lines that still get the idea across. We changed out some of the swears so it's not as 'vulgar.' However, we can't cut out Dead Girl Walking, the number including the section you are most concerned about." I look over at Sue after saying this, she is rolling her eyes in my direction. I reply with the same response.
"Figgins, I can assure you that the choreography is planned out quite strategically. It may look like it, but Finn and Rachel will not be having actual sex on stage." Sue jumps up from her corner and points at me with great alarm.
"SEX! HE SAID THE WORD SEX AND USED IT IN TERMS OF TALKING ABOUT MINORS! PERVERT! PEDOPHILE! FIRE THIS MAN AND PUT HIS ASS IN JAIL!"
"SUE THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!" Figgins shouts.
"William, I am trusting you on this one." Sue lets out a huge grunt.
Figgins tries to say this next line in a lower tone, but fails to do so. "Honestly? I generally trust you more in these things."
"Principal Figgins!" Sue objects.
"Sue, it seems like you have over-exaggerated some problems in this show. That is not okay for you to do! William will be able to do this show."
"But! Have you seen-"
"Now get the hell out of my office."
"That is MY thing!"
"Go! Shoo!" He moves his hand in a swatting motion, attempting to swat away the headache-inducing pest that is Sue Sylvester.
I am worried that Sue was going to go into one of her rages, but thankfully she didn't. Only a few papers and a lamp were misplaced. No students or faculty members were harmed in the making of this rage (thank the Lord).
When Sue finally leaves, Figgins clears his throat again, signaling that he has another thing to tell me.
"William, I want you to be happy with my decision, BUT you must keep in mind this is my decision. I will let you do the show. However, this is one condition. Before you premiere this program, you must perform it for me so I can thoroughly approve it."
"Principal Figgins, wouldn't it make more sense for you to watch it earlier before opening night? It would kill me to put my students through all that hard work and dedication and end up not performing even a second of it."
"William, don't push me! You are lucky I am letting you keep Dead Girl Running!" I think about this condition for a few seconds. Honestly, it doesn't seem too horrible.
"Okay, deal." I shake his hand and get up from the chair.
"Good luck, William!" he wishes me as I leave the office.
Rachel and Finn are right outside the door when I walk out.
"How'd it go, Mr. Schue," Rachel blabs.
I smirk, excited to give her the news she wants to hear.
"Be in the auditorium in 20 minutes. Rehearsal until 5:00." I begin to return to my Spanish classroom, ready to face another myriad of F's.
I hear Rachel exclaim, "He did it!" to Finn as I turn the corner. Puck passes me by, I wonder where he's going.
Emma POV
I'm sitting in my office, when all of a sudden Noah "Puck" Puckerman comes in. To say the least, I'm shocked and yet somewhat ecstatic. This is the first time someone has come to me since Finn and Rachel broke up. I think most people assume it was my fault, but I'm honestly not a panther, or whatever people are calling it these days, and my OCD isn't that attractive, so I don't know why they think that.
But Puck's visit was not what I was expecting from him.
"I'm worried because my man, Finn, and my girl, Rachel, are pretending to... do the dirty in Heathens, and even though I'm a sex shark and could have any girl I want, Rachel and I are 'exclusive' and shit." Puck smirks at me as he finishes, but it quickly slides off of his face.
"First of all, I think the show is called Heathers, but a valiant effort, Puckerman. Second, we only use encouraging words in my office, no cursing aloud, so please refrain from speaking in that tone from now on. Finally, would you like a pamphlet to help you with this issue?"
"No, Ms. P, I came to the guidance counselor for help, so I would like to talk to the guidance counselor." He looks down in incredulity at 'So You're Afraid Sexual Stage Chemistry Will Be Too Much For You.' I personally think the premium price I paid for it was definitely worth it, the content is so calming and informative.
"Well," I start, pulling the pamphlet back, "if Rachel really cares about you, she'll tell you if, and I mean if, she feels anything for Finn, or if anything happens with him. When you're in a committed relationship, you have to trust your partner in every way possible, even if they are withholding… intercourse and other... actions."
"Yeah, but Rachel is also saying weird crap while we're making out, like sometimes I swear she says 'tenderoni.' What the hell is a tenderoni?"
"Well, from my knowledge, a tenderoni is a younger lover and a reference to the Michael Jackson song 'P.Y.T.' Does this help clarify?"
"Yeah, thanks. You know, I think this guidance session might have actually helped me. I should probably go talk to Rachel or something now." Puck smiles at me and walks out of my office. I hope I actually helped him and he's not just lying to me, but who can say when it comes to him.
Rachel's POV
Where is he? I think to myself. I had asked Noah to meet me in the parking lot so he could drive me home. He drove me to school this morning, so obviously I would need him to drive me back.
The car ride this morning was kind of awkward. We usually talk, well, I usually talk and he listens. I talk a lot. I've been talking about Heathers lately. But he said he didn't mind, and I gave him the opportunity to try out with me, but he didn't want to. That's his choice, and I respect that choice.
Finally, I see Noah running out of McKinley, in the pouring rain, with his jacket held tightly over his head.
"Noah, what are you doing? You could catch pneumonia and die, now is that what you want?" Normally Noah would laugh at me and make fun of how over dramatic I am, but today he just stares at me.
"I went to see Ms. Pillsbury today because of your show, Heathens."
"Heathers," I automatically correct him, "and why would you have a reason to go see her about it?"
"Because, Berry, I don't feel that comfortable with you getting your mack on with Finn all the time!"
"Noah, you have no right to be angry with me. I gave you the opportunity to try out, I tried so hard to convince you that JD was a badass and you should try out, but you didn't listen to me. Who's at fault here now?"
"Look, Rachel, I know what I did before, but my feelings have changed since then. Sue me."
"Noah, I swear on all that is holy if you say that you'll break up with me if I don't quit the play I will murder you."
"Sorry, Rachel. But could we pause this argument so that we could make out? Angry you is like, really hot…"
I sigh in reluctance as he lunges at me, and I can tell things are going to be different than normal. He quickly takes off his shirt, and I follow suit, leaving me in my bra. It's awkward, being this exposed with Noah PUCKERMAN. I always thought Finn would be my first.
We strip more and more, until we're both down to our underwear. Puck- Noah- stops suddenly.
"Rachel, I can't do this to you. It's not fair. I think we should stop, get dressed, and then I think that we should break up." I sit up slowly, shocked at what Noah has just said.
"Are you serious?"
"Damn right I'm serious. Look, Rachel, I like you when you're not talking about yourself all the time and you're not staring at Finn. It's annoying as hell when you do those two things, and honestly, since Heathers started, you've been doing both more often. Much as I hate to admit it, I was never going to get into your pants because you thought it would it would be betraying Finn, who you're not even dating. Besides, Santana has better boobs. Finn and I both know it." I honestly think Puck is saying these things just to make it seem like he's OK, and to hurt me, and while it's working, I won't back down.
"Very well, Puck. I guess I'll see you later, then. Maybe after the baseball game, at the party at Santana's. Maybe I'll finally understand what about those fake boobs mesmerizes you so." With that, I open the car door and slam it before he can hear my sobs.
Finn POV
It's our fourth game of the season for baseball, and we've won all of them. I feel like I'm on Cloud Nine with the musical, how well things are going with Rachel, and everything.
The guys convinced me to go to Santana's party, even though I won't have that much of a good time. Not if Rachel and Puck are making out the whole time, but Rachel has a thing about PDA in front of the Cheerios so maybe I won't have to see that gross crap.
•••
I get to the party and I can automatically tell something is different than normal. I can hear chants of "CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!" and it's like 10:00. The party only could have started half an hour ago.
Then I hear a drunken call of a voice I recognize all too well.
"Finny!" Rachel leans on the doorframe and waits for me to get closer before running down the driveway to meet me. She gives me a big hug once we reach each other. "Did you hear the big gossip? Noah broke up with me because I wouldn't have sex with him, but I would have it with you." The petrified look on my face must say it all because Rachel bursts out laughing when she sees it.
"Not like making-a-baby sex, silly. Like, 'Dead Girl Walking' fake sex. Isn't it funny that there are two kinds of sex and one is real but emotions in it can be fake and the other is fake but emotions in it can be real? Crazy." After her shocking idea, Rachel plops down on the ground.
"Rachel are you OK?"
"No, not really. I mean. Yes. No. Not at all, actually. Noah said he broke up with me because I talked too much about myself, and I wouldn't put out, and Santana has bigger boobs, even though they're fake, and you both knew that Santana has bigger boobs than me, which is why you both broke up with me!" Rachel leans over and throws up after her rant and then she starts crying. And all I can do is sit there and pull her close and rub her back.
"Rachel, that is not why I broke up with you at all. Actually, I was kind of stupid to break up with you, but I want you to listen to me. We're going to go back in the party, right, and then you're going to show them you don't need a man to be your own special brand of kickass. OK?" I see Rachel smile up at me slowly, and I smile back at her.
We enter the room, and music starts just before Blaine begins to sing.
"Dad says 'Act your age.'
You heard it man, it's time to rage!"
Quickly, everyone at the party chimes in.
"Blast the bass, turn out the light
Ain't nobody home tonight!"
Kurt comes in next, and it's really weird, because he's acting like a 'manly-man.'
"Drink, smoke, it's all cool.
Let's get naked in my pool!"
Everyone is running around screaming random words in sync and it's crazy, but Rachel quickly gets swept up in it.
"Punch the wall and start a fight!
Ain't nobody home tonight!"
Kurt points to Brittany and sings to her.
"His folks got a waterbed.
Come upstairs and rest your head."
Blaine puts his arm around Rachel and she laughs before pushing him off, luckily.
"Let's rub each other's backs
while watching porn on Cinemax!"
Suddenly, people start singing a tune so catchy I even join in.
"The folks are gone,
it's time for big fun! Big fun!
We're up till dawn
having some big fun! Big fun!
When mom and dad forget
to lock the liquor cabinet,
it's big fun! Big fun!"
All of a sudden I see Rachel trying to give and take body shots. As mad as I am, it's really hot. And I can sort of hear her talking.
"So wait, it's lime, then salt, then shot?"
Brittany tries to help Rachel next, "No, salt, then-"
Quinn interrupts her, being the bitch that she is. "You're doing it wrong!"
Rachel looks so innocent as she speaks again. "Really? 'Cause I feel great."
All of a sudden, one of the stupid water polo guys walks by Rachel and smiles at her. "Rachel, you're looking good tonight!"
Rachel starts singing again, and it makes me see red.
"Whoa.
A hot guy smiled at me,
without a trace of mockery!"
I see people standing around me with joints as they sing again.
"Everyone's high as a kite,
ain't nobody home tonight!"
Rachel stumbles around the Lopez's house, and I wonder if I should take her home.
"Stoned. Zoned. I should quit...
Hey, is that weed? I want a hit."
People start to show Rachel how to roll her own joint.
"Fill that joint and roll it tight,
ain't nobody home tonight!"
Rachel starts singing again, and I finally see how bad high school has been for her. "Dreams are coming true
when people laugh but not at you!
I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!
I feel like Bono at Live Aid!"
I start singing again with the rest of the crowd, and I even grab a beer of my own. You only live once, right.
"The house is ours,
it's time for big fun!
Big fun!
Let's use their showers,
that sounds like
big fun! Big fun!
Crack open one more case!"
I see Rachel thoughtfully observing Santana and Puck making out with sad look on her face.
"I think that's what they call
'third base.'"
Everyone comes in again, not noticing Rachel.
"Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!"
Rachel gets distracted from her ex and smiles.
"That actually looks like-"
We all join in again.
"Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!"
Kurt holds up a pig pinata with a sign that says "Vocal Adrenaline." Then he shouts, "All right, people! What is McKinley gonna do to Vocal Adrenaline at Nationals?
Blaine starts to mime sex with the pinata, which is actually really weird, and I think illegal, and then he says, "Gonna make 'em go: Whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!"
No one seems to see the problem in Blaine's actions, though, and get really excited again.
"Big fun! Big fun!"
I hear Santana yell over the singing as Blaine makes an inappropriate gesture to her. "Way to show maturity!"
People sing again.
"Big fun! Big fun!"
Blaine grabs Santana by the hips and does to her what he'd been doing to the pinata. Whoa, I thought Blaine was gay. I guess not.
Santana talks again, and she seems really uncomfortable. "Quit it jackass, get off of me!"
People continue to sing, "Big fun! Big fun!" Honestly, you think they'd get tired after awhile.
Of course, Rachel sees what's happening to Santana. Instead of leaving her to her fate, she yells to Blaine, who's in charge of border patrol. "Yo! Blaine! Emergency!
I just saw some freshman sneaking over the pool fence!"
Blaine suddenly looks like someone crawled up his ass. "I hate freshman! Where are you little pricks? I'm coming for you!"
Rachel puts her hand on Santana's shoulder. "You okay?"
Santana responds in normal fashion, "I didn't need your help." Then of course, to show she's even 'stronger,' she gives Rachel the finger.
Rachel comes up with the best response. "Aw, thanks for the finger, Heather, but I don't need to vomit right now."
Everyone laughs and starts pointing to Rachel and singing.
"The party's hot, hot, hot.
It's time for big fun! Big fun!"
Kurt suddenly screams, "You need a jello shot!"
Yet again, I end up singing: "We're having big fun! Big fun!"
All of a sudden Mercedes walks in, and I get nervous with the way that Quinn, Santana, and Brittany are looking at her.
Quinn starts walking towards her, "Mercedes Jones, in the flesh."
Santana smirks and follows, "Here comes the Cootie Squad. We should-"
Quinn glares at her. "Shut up, Santana."
Santana looks immediately apologetic, and I'm surprised. I thought she had more spine. "Sorry, Quinn."
Brittany suddenly points to Rachel. "Look who's with her- Oh my God!"
They all start to sing.
"Dang! Dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!
Dang-dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!"
Rachel and Mercedes begin small talk. "I can't believe you actually came." Rachel starts.
"It's exciting, right? Excuse me, I want to say hello to Kurt. I brought sparkling cider." Watching Mercedes, I wonder if she still has a crush on Kurt. But I dismiss that thought quickly. It's weird enough I'm picking up on all of my surroundings like this.
Suddenly, I see Quinn with her queen bitch smirk on. "Showing up here took some guts. Time to rip them out."
Santana holds up the piñata. "Well, who does this pig remind you of? Especially the snout." This comment causes Brittany to stifle a laugh.
They start singing again.
"Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!"
Mercedes walks up to Kurt, who has been recruited to help find the freshmen Blaine was looking for. "Where the hell are those freshman?" Kurt says to Mercedes.
Then Mercedes says something that makes me pause. "Hi, Kurt. I wasn't gonna come, but since you took the time to write that sweet note…" And then she handed Kurt the sparkling cider she brought.
Unfortunately for Mercedes, Kurt is a very critical drunk. "What note? Why d'you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal." Kurt opens the cider, drinks it, then spits it back out. "There's no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?"
Everyone starts to sing again after hearing Kurt and laughing at Mercedes heartbroken expression.
"Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang,
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang,
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang,
Diggety-dang-a-dang!
The folks are gone,
it's time for big fun! Big fun!
We're up till dawn
having some big fun! Big fun!
So let the speakers blow,
they'll buy another stereo.
Our folks got no clue
'bout all the shit their children do.
Why are they surprised?
Whenever we're unsupervised,
it's big fun! Big fun!
Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Whoo!"
By then, the party is finished and people are dispersing. I take a moment to let what just happened sink in. I realize that Rachel told me that Puck and she broke up, which means she's free. But I also realize that she will need time to get over the breakup. So I'll give her her space and see what happens, but I can't help but feel more optimistic after this. And slightly like a stalker after watching all these interactions between people. But more importantly, optimistic.