Jacey deals with insomnia. Spencer tries to make Jacey realize that he cares for her in more ways than one. The BAU team deals with a case that has a shocking twist.

~Criminal Minds~

"A PLACE AT THE TABLE" (Season 10, Episode 20).

~Criminal Minds~

Imagine trying to reach for something that seems so close but yet so far away. And right as you're about to grab it, you fall into a bottomless pit of nothing.

Gasp.

Jacey leaned forward, gasping for air. She placed a hand over her heart, attempting to calm herself down, realizing that the horrifying moments she experienced was only just a dream.

A body stirred next to her. Spencer groaned softly, becoming awake and somewhat alert. His eyes fluttered open to a view of his girlfriend in total discomfort. "Jace? You okay?"

"Sorry if I woke you. It was...just a dream. Just a stupid dream." Jacey mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "I don't think I'll be able to go back asleep."

"I'm worried about you."

Jacey shook her head. "There's nothing to worry about."

"You haven't been sleeping. You're becoming more and more uncomfortable with social interaction. You're having the same nightmares. Just talk to me. What's going on? Is it me living here?"

"No! Spencer, I love having you here with me and Mia. You help me out in so many ways. I just...maybe it's work. Maybe, I'm just stressing out is all. Seriously, don't worry about me. Okay?"

Spencer sighed, scooting over closer to Jacey, leaning forward to cup her cheek in his rather large hand. "I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about you. I care about you too much."

Jacey closed her eyes, falling into Reid's touch. He brought her some serenity but even then, it couldn't fix the growing hurt inside of her. Jacey placed a few kisses on Spencer's hand before pressing a kiss against his lips. "Sleep. I'm going to take a shower and start cleaning up the place a little bit before having to get ready for work."

"You sure you don't need any help?"

Jacey shook her head. "No, I'm fine." She gently forced her boyfriend to lay down and allow sleep to catch him. And after a moment, he was asleep again.

~Criminal Minds~

Jacey quietly walked into Mia's nursery, careful not to wake the baby up. Jacey smiled sadly at the soft snores her child made.

Seeing her baby sleeping soundly stirred a hurt feeling in Jacey's heart. The nearly five month old baby was growing up way too fast and Jacey feared she couldn't keep up.

The baby stirred in her sleep, sleepily opening her eyes. Jacey's smile was the first thing Mia saw.

"Hi, princess. What are you doing?" Jacey said in a cooing tone. Her soft voice caused the baby to smile before falling back to sleep.

The mother felt unneeded for a moment. Instead of staying in the nursery, she left, not wanting to disturb her baby's slumber.

~Criminal Minds~

As usual, getting ready in the morning was hectic. You have a fully awake Mia crying her eyes out. Jacey trying to get breakfast ready and snacks set out for Mandy. Spencer taking a shower and getting clothed.

"Mia, could you hold on one second, please?" Jacey begged as she reached to the top of that cabinet to grab the box of pop tarts. But of course, Mia couldn't understand a word her mother was saying so she continued to cry.

"Okay. Okay." Jacey said to herself as she walked over to her child. But as she picked her up, she looked into blue eyes that had tears falling for them.

Jacey then realized that Mia was depending on her for so many things. Feeding, diaper change, comfort, love, protection, etc. But a thought in the back of Jacey's head had her think about the chances of her not being able to provide those things for her. What if she couldn't love her daughter like she wanted to? What if she wasn't a great mom?

Spencer walked out of the bedroom, dressed for work. He grabbed a pop tart that was on the counter. When he looked over to Jacey, he noticed how distracted she looked while holding a crying Mia.

Spencer walked over to the mother and child. "Jacey?"

She then snapped out of her longing trance. "Hmm?"

"Mia's crying. Do you want me to take her?"

Jacey looked at the baby again, nodding at Spencer's offer. She passed the child to him before getting up and walking to the bathroom, where she freely allowed her tears to fall.

~Criminal Minds~

The day went by fast. Work was keeping Jacey sane. It was oddly comforting to be buried with paperwork.

"Your appointment is tomorrow morning. Yes. 9:40 in the a.m. will work better for you? No, I understand. Your health and getting checked is very important. Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Weathers. Bye."

Jacey hung up the phone. She sat in her chair for a moment. Not really sure what to do next, she wasn't particularly excited about going home.

Sighing to herself, Jacey placed her head in her hands.

"Hard day?" a familiar voice asked.

The therapist looked up to see Aaron Hotchner standing in her doorway. "Aaron, hi, you need something?"

"Everyone is on their way home. You're still behind your desk. You're usually gone before everyone else."

"Don't go profiling me, Aaron. I'm just getting some work done. Didn't want to take any papers home with me." Jacey said matter of factly. She didn't expect for Aaron to believe her but hopefully he wouldn't say anything.

"I just wanted to check on you. Never seen you work so hard."

Jacey chuckled humorlessly. "Well, what can I say? I'm a hard working woman."

Aaron decided to say nothing. He nodded at her with a small smile. "I was heading home. You need anything?"

"No," Jacey said, shaking her head. "I'm fine. You head on home."

Seconds later, he was gone. Leaving Jacey alone with her paperwork.

~Criminal Minds~

For three days straight, Jacey made her life into a routine. Nightmare, stay up, go to work, and come home. She made her time with Mia shorter, leaving Spencer to take care of her most of the time. But Spencer didn't mind, he loved Mia with everything in his heart. He made it obvious the day the baby was born that he was going to be there for her.

His mind couldn't shake the concern he had for the mother. Jacey wasn't herself anymore. She would just barely speak to him. She had no need or want to care for Mia. She just looked empty inside, lost. Spencer thought it over, he knew what was wrong with her. Just didn't know how to say it.

~Criminal Minds~

"Okay, Darla, thank you for your time. I will mail you your results within the next week." Jacey told the recruited agent, watching the lady leave. The therapist sighed, scribble notes in a file that she'd have to copy and send off soon.

There was a knock at her door. She looked up to see Spencer standing there. Jacey gave him a small smile. "Hey, Spencer. How's it going?"

"I just wanted to tell you that we caught a case. It's pretty local so I'm sure I'll be coming home tonight."

"That's great, hun." Spencer eyed her in a curious way. Her smile was false, her make up almost barely covered the bags under her eyes, her posture indicates that she was under emotional stress. "Stop. Don't profile me."

"I don't mean to. I just can't help but to notice how tired you look." Spencer said, his voice getting a little quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was make his girlfriend upset. Life without Jacey and Mia would be dull. It was a page in his life he did not want to go back to. "I'm sorry."

Jacey sighed, her head falling into her hands. "It's not you. It's me. I'm sorry. You're right, I'm tired. I have a lot going on. Of course, you know that."

"Is there anything I can do?"

It was the first genuine smile he's seen from Jacey in a long time. "No, baby, there's nothing you can do. Just stay who you are. Do go changing on me."

Spencer smirked. "I'll try not to. I'm going to get back to work. I'll see you when I get home." Spencer left with a small wave and a smile. Jacey inhaled the air around her with a small grin. Seeing Spencer always made her happy, even if she didn't always expressed it.

~Criminal Minds~

"Ms. Montgomery," Aaron began to say, walking into Jacey's office.

"Jacey." She said, correcting him. "We're friends...in and out of the work place. You don't have to be all formal with me."

"It's respectful to use formalities from time to time."

"Whatever floats your boat." Jacey placed her pen on her desk. "Is there something you need, Agent Hotchner?"

The sound of the formality made Hotch cringe. "You're right. Just call me Aaron or Hotchner."

"And you call me Jacey." She said with a grin. "What's going on?"

"How would you like to assist us with something? I would like a second opinion, outside of the team."

"Have I ever said no to your requests?"

Aaron smirked slightly. "No."

"Then let's get to work. Whatcha got for me?"

"Mass murder scene. One family. Same death but one. Woman, strangled." Aaron informed her, passing her a file that was set between his fingers.

Jacey nodded at the information. Reading things over, and viewing the photos of the evidence and scene of the crime. "Any witnesses?"

"Someone was found at the crime scene."

Jacey stopped walking and looked at Hotchner. "Who?"

~Criminal Minds~

"He didn't do it." Jacey said as she looked into the interrogation room through the one sided glass. "Look at him. He wants to throw up. Kid can't stand the sight of blood."

"He's guilty of something." Derek said. "Why was he there covered in blood?"

Jacey shrugged her shoulders. "Wrong place. Wrong time. He shows up at his boyfriend's parents house, he's hated for being gay. Being judged can be stressful. Maybe he relieved his stress while boyfriend and his family have family time."

"Sounds like you're onto something."

"So, I go down the stairs and I hear creepy Christmas music playing..." Ezra Warren, the man found at crime sight, said, explaining why he was there. "So I go into the dining room and...Lance was dead. They all were."

"So your response was to go back upstairs and hide in the bedroom." Rossi said, really not understanding why this young man didn't call the cops right away.

"I panicked. I saw police lights outside and I panicked." Ezra started tearing up, the images he saw creeping back into his mind. "Why did we have to go? Why couldn't we just stay away? Why?"

"The only thing this kid is guilty for is being in love and being somewhere he wasn't suppose to be. Other than that, he's innocent. You're the profiler. I'm sure you know I'm right." Jacey mumbled to Morgan before leaving the room.

~Criminal Minds~

Spencer grabbed some more coffee before getting back to work. Rossi was staring at the pictures that were taken of the murders before he noticed Spencer was on his third cup of coffee.

"Rough night?" He asked the genius, referring to his granddaughter keeping the new parents up at night. Spencer glanced at him, nodding.

"Jacey's been keeping me up all night for the past week."

"Listen, Reid, I don't care to know about you and my daughter having–"

"No! It's not like that." Spencer said, blushing a bright red. "She's-she's been having nightmares. She rarely sleeps anyway, but when she does...it's a nightmare."

"How long does she sleeps before waking up?"

"An hour at the most."

"I have notice a few things that seemed off. I never thought things were this bad. Have you talked to her?"

Spencer shook his head as he shrugged. "I've tried. She doesn't want to talk. She'd get frustrated, then apologize. After that, she takes a shower."

"Maybe I should try talking to her." Rossi offered. He knew that it would be better if Spencer tried to get his daughter to open up but maybe Jacey would act differently when talking to one of her parents.

"You can try. Honestly, I think she'll be just as mad. I think I know what's wrong. But I'd have to catch her at a better time."

Rossi nodded at the genius before continuing his work.

~Criminal Minds~

Jacey worked hard, putting together theories and comments that she's gathered from everyone else. "This is a lot of he said, he said bullshit." Jacey sighed, her frustration getting the best of her.

There was a knock at her door. Spencer walked in with a white paper bag including a cup of tea and coffee. "I heard you were hungry so...I got us some lunch."

A smile appeared on Jacey's face. "My hero."

Spencer handed her the bag before placing a kiss on her forehead. "I have to take care of my girl, right?"

"Damn straight." Jacey joked with a grin. "Oh...chopped roasted chicken with salad. No cheese and no onions. Spencer...you remembered."

"I wouldn't know how to forget." Spencer said with a smile. A sudden emotion came over Jacey, she stood up from her seat, cupped Spencer's head between her hands and softly pressed her lips against his.

Spencer was surprised by the sudden gesture but certainly did not complain.

Their lips moved together, in sync. Jacey played with the ends of his hair, while Spencer traced small circles on her skin.

"Ah huh," the bubbly tech analyst sounded, clearing we throat. The couple parted from each other, feeling like teenagers who were caught making out behind the school building. "So, this is what happens in the office when the door is closed...scandalous."

Jacey blushed, averting her eyes away from Spencer, who also blushed under Garcia's gaze. "Can we help you with something, Penelope?"

A mischievous grin appeared on her face as she shook her head. "No, I just need to borrow boy wonder...or should I say lover boy?"

"I'm coming, Garcia." Spencer said. "Jacey, eat your food. I'll be back in a minute."

Jacey sat at her desk, trying to stop her face from going completely red.

~Criminal Minds~

The case was done. Jenna's, one of the victims, boyfriend was also her half-brother. Only, she didn't know that. Marc took it upon himself to kill everyone in the family, to take revenge on an absent father.

At the moment, Spencer was unlocking the front door to the apartment that he shared with his girlfriend and child. Spencer placed his things on table next to the kitchen. He opened the door to Mia's nursery to see the baby sound asleep. He smiled at how peaceful the baby seemed.

As he made his way towards the room he shared with his girlfriend, Jacey, he could a muffled sobbing noise.

His heart jumped, afraid of what he might see. Gaining a bit of courage, Spencer slowly opened the door. He saw Jacey on the bed, crying her eyes out. He rushed over to her.

"Jace?" Spencer whispered to himself. He reached his arms out to her, pulling her body against his into a warm embrace. After a long moment, he pulled away, only to cup her face in his hands. "Please, talk to me."

Jacey was silent. She felt short for words, the mother didn't know how to say the words she was thinking.

"I'm a bad mom." Jacey sobbed, burying her head into Spencer'a chest.

"What? No, you're not."

Jacey shook her head. "No, I am. Spencer, I feel like we don't have a connection. Every time I'm around her, it's like she doesn't need me. Like tonight, when I got here...she was already asleep. I miss her inside of me. I miss the bond we had. I miss her kicking me. I miss her getting her tiny feet stuck in my ribs. But when I look at her...it's like that love she has for me is all gone. I don't know if it's all in my head or...but, oh God. I want to love her, Spencer. But...but I feel like I don't know how."

Jacey continued to cry. Spencer comforted her the best way he knew how. With her head on his chest, he placed his chin on the top of her head.

"Postpartum depression can be the hardest thing to endure. I'm not the professional to talk to, but I can say that Mia loves you with all her heart. You're her mother. There's no greater bond than between mother and child." The genius soothed his girlfriend with his words. The fact that he was there for her, even when she was a mess, helped her realize that she's the luckiest woman on the planet.

Spencer helped her get ready for bed, promising her that things will get better. With his fingers running through her hair, Jacey fell asleep.

~Criminal Minds~

Jacey woke up as she normally did, only this time she was relieved of her nightmares.

"Whoa, Mia, don't splash around too hard. Don't want to hurt your little hand."

Jacey climbed out of bed, grabbing her robe before walking to the hallway bathroom. The door was opened. She could see that Spencer was giving Mia a late bath and she was swinging her baby arms in the water.

Spencer noticed Jacey's present, giving her a comforting smile before looking down at the baby.

"Look, Mia, there's mommy." Spencer said, sending the baby's attention over to the woman standing at the bathroom doorway.

Mia squealed happily at the sight of her mother, kicking her feet excitedly. Mia started mumbling her usual babbling. "Eh I ohh."

For the first time in what felt like forever, Jacey's heart jumped at the look of her baby. At that moment, even if for a second, Jacey felt that bond she did the moment Mia laid on her chest in the hospital.

~[A/N]~

I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THE CHAPTER!!

I actually enjoyed writing it. Well, I enjoy writing every chapter.

Listen, if you know someone who is suffering from POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION, please express to them that they are not alone and it very much a common thing to experience. To feel better, I highly recommend to see a psychiatrist or any type of professional.

Alright, loves, thanks for the reads. I would love some feedback, if you can spare the time. I like reading comments. It motivates me to write more.

See you next time!