Izaya is on the ledge again. It's the middle of the afternoon, and he's soaked through from the rain. He would go in, but the window has been shut and locked so he can't open it. He feels stupid, sitting here in the rain and letting himself get soaked.
'And for what, Shizu-chan?' He wonders, gently swinging a leg back and forth over the ledge without thinking about it. 'Why am I visiting a beast?'
Logically, he should know the answer. He knows everything about himself, he isn't in denial about anything, and he doesn't have a head injury. But sometimes people do things without thinking about it, or without reason.
What he's doing now, though, he's terrified to consider is from a budding depression. Two weeks, five days, and 17 hours without fighting Shizuo and he's starting to feel things other than amusement and anticipation and joy.
Sure, he's been sad before. He's felt sadness, loneliness, emptiness, but never for too long and certainly not for the better part of three weeks. He's not stupid, he knows things have been bottling up. He knows that his favorite toy being taken away like this is just a crack in the dam holding back a lot of pain.
He doesn't want to die, he has too many plans and too much fun to really consider it. He wants to live forever, he wants to feel alive for forever, and having a monster at his heels helps. And now that his stress relief and source of enthrallment is looking more and more like he isn't okay, more and more like he might not wake up, Izaya is becoming more aware of things usually shoved to the back of his mind.
His sisters never call unless they need something. Namie rushes to leave at the end of each work day. Shinra built a game about killing him. He hasn't seriously spoke to Dota-chin in 2 years. He hasn't made any progress in his quest for valhalla. Worse, his humans don't love him like they should. Worse still, he's getting older and 23 feels suffocating even if he knows it's nothing.
The window opens below him, and he drops down onto the fire escape to go in. He's expecting Shinra, but when Namie rolls her eyes at him he's surprised enough to pause, only halfway through the window.
"Get inside already." Namie hisses at him, not unlike a bird with ruffled feathers. "Ugh, you're soaking wet. I hope you freeze to death for being stupid enough to stay out there for two hours."
"Eh? How does Namie-chan know how long I was outside?" He asks, climbing inside and shutting the window finally.
"Because I've been here since before you have! Kishitani-sensei had me take a look at the chemicals he used to make sure everything's okay. Oh, and to add these," she taps a nail against four new buttons placed on the machine. No, not buttons, monitors. Rage, Fright, Joy, and Depression line up neatly over Shizuo's head.
The machines has wires now, curling out and attaching themselves to a black helmet now worn by the blonde beast of a bartender. The anger meter is spiking some, flicking upwards just a little bit every few seconds. It's interesting enough that he ignored the cold glare Namie sends him until she speaks up.
"Why are you here? What, can't stand being away from Heiwajima for a few weeks? I thought you'd be happy." She states, arms crossed and passive. 'I did too.'
"Of course I am! I'm here to gloat~" He purrs.
"Uh-huh. And you feel the need to do this every night?" She asks, and Izaya isn't quick enough to hide from her how wide his eyes go before he catches himself. Neither notice how high Shizuo's anger meter is starting to spike.
"I don't know what Namie-chan is talking abou-"
"Kishitani-sensei told me. You're pathetic." She laughs. "Well, you two have fun. I'm going to go now and tell Sensei I'm done. Play nice with Heiwajima!" And she's walking out the room, heels clicking obnoxiously. Izaya feels angry, he feels almost ashamed too, that she knows. That he himself is still here, that he didn't just leave when the window was locked.
He can't take this shame and anger, and he knows just who would be a perfect outlet.
Walking over to a monster, sleeping peacefully with dreams of sugar plums and dead Izaya's dancing through his head, Izaya slaps the beast as hard as he can. He knocks the helmet off, but catches it in his other hand before it hits the ground. He places it back carefully, scowling.
"I hate you, you stupid beast." Shizuo growls a little, like a reply, rage spiked all he way to the middle. Izaya stares down at him, eyes narrowed.
"Hmm? So you felt that huh?" He asks, voice a low hiss. "Maybe I'll do it again, it's honestly kind of fun-"
"Izaya?" Comes Kadota's voice, and Izaya's head snaps up to see him. "What are you doing here, you're soaking wet!" He's frowning like he cares, but Izaya notices where his eyes are. Where he's dripping water all over Shizuo, the one who matters.
'Where did that come from...?' He's startled by the thought, how bitter it sounds in his own head.
"Oh, I was just leaving." He smiles, bends down quickly next to Shizuo's head and pretends to grab something. "Goodbye you miserable beast." He whispers in Shizuo's ear.
He stands up smoothly, pretending to pocket something before waving at Dotachin. He's out the window and gone before the man can stop him.