Shizuo is handsome. It's not something he denies, or thinks about, just something he notices after spending so many nights here. He's basically alone with a doll. 'So? I'm always alone,' and the thought hurts even though hasn't cared till the past few weeks. He shouldn't care, he has his humans after all. He has-had Shinra, before, but he's not ready to forgive him when he's been offered no apologies. But above all he has himself and it should be enough. It's always been enough.
Well, that might not be entirely true. People say he's always going to be alone, like it's an insult, and it does make him think about himself. He's always managed fine, in his opinion, and he doesn't care if people think he's mentally ill for his behavior or actions, but is he going to spend his life before Valhalla with no romance? It's not like he needs or wants it, but the thought of no love has brainwashed humans for decades into erratic behavior and sometimes it even grips him with the idea that he's lesser without love.
He's considered this abnormality, that he might be somehow bad because of this, but chalks it up to being a God and observer of humans and therefore has no reason to conform to such things. He is unique, and he's unique because he isn't trying to be and doesn't need to justify his feels or lack thereof. He acts how he likes with little care of others thoughts, and often he hurts his humans in the process. Which is fine, he likes it when they're pushed to extremes. A scared, tearful face screaming how sick he is happens to be what helps him sleep at night.
Still, there have always been these aspects of humanity, the most pathetic ones, he's wondered about. Romance, for one. He doesn't give it much thought, preferring his own company. Romance isn't a bad thing, but he doesn't need or want for love, and if he feels lonely he has all the humans in the world to keep him company. He's okay. He alone is enough.
Shizuo is different. No, the beast might not be a womanizer, let alone someone actively seeking romance, but Izaya has seen him looking at girls. Seen him glancing around hopefully on valentines day, even saw him leave a few cheap little chocolates on a boys desk one year. He looked so hopeful on white day, but when the nerdy little shrimp gave chocolates back to Kasuka instead, and he'd been crushed.
Izaya finds it funny that he'd merely signed his last name and expected the boy to pick the right Heiwajima. The sweet, pretty younger man or the hot tempered delinquent, which is more likely to give you chocolate?
"Stupid," He chuckles quietly. The memory is still amusing. It probably always will be. It's funnier when he thinks of his cute little Kouhai. She'd been so interested in Shizuo, who had just started to catch on too, before she met Izaya's secretary and moved right on. Shizuo doesn't seem bitter, but Izaya has watched from afar and seen him sigh in a melancholy way when the she leaves at the end of a work day for a date with Namie. He looked sad when they kissed that one time, too, before he noticed Izaya and rage took over.
"Ahh, how I miss our chases." It's funny, he misses someone trying to kill him. But that's how it is, ne?
"Have you even kissed anyone?" He asks, suddenly. He's lying on Shizuo's new, bigger bed, stretched out like he owns it. Shinra has upgraded him to one of those beds that shifts and has a semi-massaging mattress to help stop bed sores. It's decidedly more comfortable, but he's turned off the bed for now. The moving was annoying. "I bet you haven't, who'd get that close?" It's like talking to a friend, if he doesn't look at him. It's easy to pretend this is a slumber party and Shizuo is a dear friend.
"No?" He asks, as if the blonde had answered. "Want me to show you?" He's teasing, of course, but...what if he did? He's heard people in comas know what's going on around them. Though Shizuo is in a false reality, is it possible he can feel things or is at least a little aware of what's going on? Would he wake up with a kiss, like sleeping beasty?
"...Well. It might be worth a try?" He rolls over onto his knees, leans his chest over Shizuo's. His emotion meter isn't doing much, rage spiking just the tiniest bit every few seconds, but it does that a lot. It's basically calm for Shizuo. His eyes are closed, as always, and once his face is close enough he closes his own. Their breath mingles, warm in the cold room, and he just barely brushes against the others lips, testing the feeling before going any further.
"You'd better appreciate this..." He murmurs against warm lips, before gently pressing down. He doesn't feel any great rush, but his chest squeezes slightly. It's not his first kiss, but it might be the only one with any hint of meaning, even if it's just to anger someone. It's quiet, still, nothing explodes and no music plays but he's warm like he hasn't been in days. He doesn't let it linger too long, pulling back slowly to see if he's had any effect. His bangs brush Shizuo's cheek, and for a moment he's sure he's dreaming because it can't be. There's no way that golden eyes are staring sleepily back into his own.