Flaming Flash Fireball

"Cheers!" Barry toasted as they all held up their drinks.

Everyone smiled and tapped their glasses together before drinking.

"So, Barry," Iris said, setting her glass on the bar, "What brought this on?"

Barry shrugged.

"It's Friday," he said simply.

"Yeah," Iris said slowly, "But it's not like we normally go out on Fridays."

"Well, maybe we should change that," Barry laughed, "We've been working too hard. I think we deserve a drink every now and then."

"Barry, you can't get drunk," Cisco pointed out.

A smug smile formed on Barry's face, as if he had been waiting for someone to say that. Barry grinned as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle.

"What is that?" Caitlin demanded seriously, looking at the small pill Barry tipped out into his hand.

"This Caitlin," Barry said, holding up the pill, "Is the magic of science. I told you I'd figure it out."

"You figured out how to get drunk in one day?" Cisco asked, raising his eyebrows.

"All I needed was proper motivation," Barry said with a grin.

Caitlin opened her mouth to protest as Barry plopped the pill into his mouth, but it was too late. He chased it down with his whiskey old fashion in an instant. [1]

"Relax," he laughed when he saw the worried look on her face, "It's just concentrated fomepizole."

Caitlin raised her eyebrows at him.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that," she said after a moment, an impressed expression on her face.

Barry smiled at her.

"It's easier than distilling one-thousand proof ethanol," he said—somewhat condescendingly.

"How does it work?" Cisco asked curiously.

"It'll counteract the alcohol dehydrogenase enzymes in my liver," Barry told him, "It'll block the enzymes and inhibit the oxidization of ethanol glycol and methanol in my bloodstream. Basically, it'll stop my body from breaking down the alcohol in my system, and the alcohol will affect me the same way it does everyone else—without inhibiting the rest of my metabolism." [2]

"So you'll still have your speed," Caitlin smiled, shaking her head, "Barry, that's genius!"

"I'm glad you approve," Barry laughed.

He slapped a fifty on the bar then.

"I've got this round," he said with a grin, "I'm celebrating tonight."

"What are you celebrating?" Cisco asked.

"A nice pay raise at work," Barry said simply.

"Singh gave you a raise?" Iris asked in shock, "How'd you manage that?"

A smug smile formed on Barry's face.

"Let's just say I made him realize I could be doing bigger and better things," he said, smiling knowingly.

Iris raised her eyebrows at him.

"But you love your job," she frowned.

Barry shrugged.

"Yeah," he said, "But Singh needs to realize I'm not as expendable as he thinks I am. You should have seen the look on his face when I was talking about leaving. He was all but throwing money at me to get me to stay."

"Good for you, man," Cisco laughed, "It's about time Singh realized how valuable you are to the CCPD."

Barry grinned at him and then turned to the bartender.

"Hey, could you line up some shots here?" he requested.

"What kind of shots?" the bartender sighed, an annoyed look on his face.

"Flaming Flash Fireball shots," Barry said, smirking as he looked at the special board.

The bartender nodded and started pulling out bottles of Fireball and Rumchata. [3]

"Flaming Flash Fireball shots?" Caitlin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a step up from the Flash cappuccino at Jitters," Barry laughed.

"Hell yeah, it is!" Cisco cheered, watching the bartender light the shots on fire.

Caitlin watched nervously as the shots were lined up.

"Guys, this looks dangerous," she said seriously.

"Come on, Caitlin. Live a little," Barry grinned, picking up a flaming shot.

Everyone else grabbed theirs nervously.

"You're supposed to blow it out before drinking it," Cisco said, blowing out the flame on his shot.

Caitlin and Iris quickly did the same, but Barry didn't follow suit.

"What are you doing, Barry?" Iris asked nervously.

"You don't have to blow it out," he laughed, "You can drink it like this."

"I'm supposed to advise you against that," the bartender said in a bored voice.

Barry dismissed him with an impatient wave of his hand. The bartender just sighed and walked away. Dumb college kids.

"Barry, you're going to burn yourself!" Iris said worriedly, staring at the blue flames emitting from his shot class.

"No, I'm not," he said calmly, "It's simple science. The fire is only on top of the liquid. The drink itself isn't very hot, and if you throw it back and close your mouth, you cut off the oxygen to put out the fire before it can burn you."

"Dude, haven't you seen those YouTube videos?" Cisco said, "There are so many ways this can go—"

Barry threw back the shot.

"—wrong," Cisco finished, shaking his head, "Dude, you're insane."

Barry laughed and set his glass on the bar. The others all laughed and shook their heads at him before taking their non-flaming Flash shots.

"Oh my God," Iris said, licking her lips, "That's amazing!"

Barry laughed and nodded.

"The fire caramelizes the sugars in the liquor, giving it a unique taste," he told her.

"Okay, this beats the Flash cappuccino by a long shot," Cisco said loudly, setting his glass on the bar.

Caitlin shook her head in amusement as she did the same. She had to admit, though, Flaming Flash Fireball shots were pretty damn good.

Although she was starting to loosen up, she still couldn't break out of worried doctor mode. She cast a nervous glance at Barry, who was finishing his old fashion in record time. He had already ordered another one, and the bartender was setting it on the bar.

Caitlin had a really bad feeling about tonight.

Two hours later, Caitlin was sitting next to Iris at the bar. Iris had her arms crossed and a sour look on her face. She was clearly not happy, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why.

"What about her?" Cisco slurred, pointing at a redhead on the other side of the bar.

"I went to high school with her," Barry laughed, knocking back another drink and signaling the bartender for another, "It would be weird."

Cisco laughed and shook his head.

"How 'bout her then?" he smirked, pointing at a rather rough-looking woman leaning against the pool table.

"She has a face tattoo," Barry laughed, shaking his head, "No way."

"You're too picky, man," Cisco said, hiccupping slightly.

He had had a few too many tonight, thanks to Barry's insistence on repeatedly ordering shots for everyone. No one, however, had had anywhere near as much as Barry tonight. It seemed his fomepizole pills worked. Barry was more than a little intoxicated. He was hammered.

"I don't need a rebound, Cisco," Barry laughed, "I'm over Patty."

"Come on, man," Cisco giggled, "You've got the best wingman a guy can have. Take advantage of the opportunity."

Barry shook his head.

"I don't need a wingman," he said simply, "I can manage just fine on my own."

"Prove it," Cisco challenged, taking another sip of his drink.

Barry laughed and shook his head. His eyes then landed on an attractive blonde who was approaching the bar. A small smile formed on Barry's face.

"Okay, I will," he said, stumbling slightly as he stood up from his bar stool.

Cisco stared in shock as Barry walked confidently up to the girl at the bar. Caitlin saw Iris's hands clench into fists as Barry leaned up against the bar next to the girl and started talking.

"I think I'm going to head out," Iris told Caitlin then, grabbing her purse.

"Are you sure?" she asked sadly.

"Yeah," Iris huffed, "This isn't exactly how I wanted to spend my Friday night. I have a lot of work to catch up on this weekend."

"Okay," Caitlin said quietly, seeing right through Iris's excuse.

Iris glanced back at Barry again as she was slipping on her coat. He had his back to them as he talked to the woman, who was laughing loudly at something he said.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Iris said to Caitlin before walking out of the bar.

Caitlin sighed and shook her head as she looked at Barry's back.

"Barry, you're such a loveable idiot."

[1] Old fashions are mixed drinks that are only common in the area I live in. Most people from other parts of the country have never heard of them, but when I bartend in Wisconsin, almost every other drink I mix is an old fashion.

[2] Fomepizole really would cause this effect in Barry. It would cause the alcohol to affect him without affecting the rest of his metabolism. I may have just found a way to get the Flash drunk.

[3] Fireball and Rumchata make amazing shots, but they wouldn't actually set on fire in real life. Only certain liquors are pure enough for the ethanol in them to actually burn. Do not try flaming shots in real life! They're super dangerous and only certified bartenders should ever attempt making them. If you do take flaming shots, blow them out. I've seen a guy burn half his face, trying to show off. It's not worth the risk.

I'm not in any way condoning underage drinking or risky behaviors with this fic.