Helen was actually trying to confirm her personal history herself. She had no reason to doubt anything she had been told but she felt such a drive to seek the truth for herself. Nikola's suggestion of reading her diary seemed an excellent place to begin. And indeed it was very informative and things felt familiar in the haziest of ways. Naturally, she didn't remember the names and places, but a lot could be figure out from context and gut instinct. What she was still unsure about, she approached the best source of information she could think of.

It was late, most everyone had retired to their rooms, some in dreamland by now. But she knew she wasn't the only one still awake and somehow she knew her late night companion was Nikola himself. His presence filled the library despite his motionless pose reclined on the divan, a book abandoned open on his knee. He was staring into the fire, taking periodic sips of wine.

At her approach he stirred himself to smile pleasantly at her.

"Can't sleep, my dear?" he asked, gazing up at her. His normally pale skin seemed to glow amber in the light of the flickering flames.

"Actually i was doing a bit of reading, at your suggestion. Only i can't figure out this entry. I wondered if you could read it and tell me what the devil I was talking about?" she offered the volume to him, a finger poised on the date of the entry in question

Nikola sat up fully, setting his wine glass aside with nary a pang of reluctance. To get his hands on the innermost secrets of Helen Magnus? For that he would suffer far worse than a momentary thirst. He took the large book (leather-bound of course, nothing but the best for Helen) settling it in his lap and sliding his fingers over the open pages. As if he couldn't believe it was finally in his grasp.

She had always kept a journal and he'd always tried to sneak a peek at it back in their school days. But only halfheartedly, playfully. It had only became an obsession when his life was full of her, when he had told her he loved her and was maddened to find he couldn't glean how she really felt in return. The mystery taunted him back into her life, and back to her diary's hiding spot, again and again. And now he held the clue that could crack the whole matter wide open.

But his fingers twitched before fisting tightly and he couldn't bring himself to look past his hands to the words on the page.

No, Helen would surely make good on her threats to shoot him if he read her private thoughts without permission. Despite the fact the woman herself had handed him the book, he couldn't know that Helen, the real Helen - Helen when she was truly herself, would want him to know any of this. In fact, the elaborate security measures she had taken rather hinted the contrary, that she wanted no one to read her journal, least of all one particular vampire.

The damage would be done, of course. She could be as furious with him as she liked, but she wouldn't be able to take the knowledge away from him. Nikola would forever know things she hadn't told anyone before, would know her dreams and nightmares. She couldn't make him unknow her. Oh, but she could push his away, so far away he wouldn't have the least chance to use the information he had gained. Rather than allowing Nikola to insinuate himself further into her good graces, Helen would don that fetching-but-unfriendly Ice Queen demeanor and freeze him out for gods knew how long.

Immortality meant he had plenty of time. It did not mean he had plenty of patience. He wasn't interested in backtracking now.

"No, dear friend," he passed the book back to her without meeting her eyes. "I offer whatever general factualities i can provide, but i wouldn't venture to try to speak on your private thoughts. Its not for me to tell you what to think or feel about your past."

Helen frowned at him and for a moment Nikola regretted everything. She was offering to share herself with him, perhaps not in the highly entertaining and sinful ways he had been hoping for for 2 lifetimes but intimate nonetheless. It wasn't meant to be a rejection of herself, did she take it as one?

Without her usual guard up, she was damnably hard to read. Her expressions of annoyance he could interpret perfectly, but not this soft look that almost bespoke a blossoming trust, of all things.

"'Factualities' is not a word, Nikola." Helen spoke and the correction was so familiar, so her. "You mean 'facts' or perhaps 'actualities'."

Nikola sat back and retrieved his wine, tipping the glass towards her in acknowledgement and lifting it to take a sip. Back in their early acquaintance, Helen Magnus had been the only one he would allow to correct his English. Other Brits were so damned priggish about the Queen's English, he couldn't bear the condescension. He had worked hard on his English to fit in at Oxford only to find anything less than perfection and a posh native accent was all it took to relegate him to a second class citizen. In fits of pique, he spoke with a heavier Serbian accent than he actually possessed, just to discomfit the snobs. Helen had never patronized him, never so much as smiled at him for mispronouncing a word he had only seen printed in his texts and never heard spoken.

"Perhaps instead of my diary I should provide you with a dictionary?" Helen said.

And she had always lightened the moment with a joke before his young self could feel embarrassed.

It was a very gentle tease compared to Helen's usual outrageous treatment of him, but the half-hidden smile of mischief on her lips made him swallow his wine quickly so he could return it.

"Touche, Helen."

A pattern was established.

Helen would break her fast with Nikola. The others joined them as they learned there was a sumptuous breakfast on offer. Henry and Kate devoured the food so quickly, it barely had time to touch their plates. Kate in particular ate half the pastries on the table and Helen made sure to grab her favorites before the young woman made it to the table. Will just grabbed coffee and a muffin on his way though, telling Helen he would see her when she was done.

For after the meal she kept up regular appointments to speak with him. She appreciated the wisdom of them she supposed. Talking things out, repeating things aloud, helped cement the new memories and make them feel more real. But sometimes she rather felt like she was humoring Will. Perhaps their talks were more beneficial for his worried mind than they were for her personal recovery.

He ended each session with a walk, showing her more of the Sanctuary before leaving her to bond with one of the Sanctuary staff or even the residents. Will encouraged her to spend time with the others; at times Helen felt as if she was being passed around a succession of babysitters. Other times, she quite enjoyed bonding with new old friends.

When Helen grew weary or hungry or bored, Nikola seemed to sense it somehow. He always turned up looking for her just when she hoped he would. Ready to whisk her away to hear more stories, discuss the last century of scientific advancements, or just walk the grounds in companionable silence.

But he never appeared before she was ready. He didn't intrude while she was still communing with Sally. Nor did he seem to think it wise to show his face when Kate brought Helen to the shooting range in the lower levels for a bit of target practice.

The gun didn't feel out of place in her hand but Helen was glad she was only aiming at a circle on paper. Both women squeezed their triggers until their magazines emptied. Kate had consistently good aim, all shots landing near the center of her targets. Helen's first few shots were shaky but by the end of her first clip, she was drilling the bullseye with every shot. Kate was starting to wonder if the bullets were even hitting the paper anymore, or just threading the needle by whizzing through the existing bullet-holes.

"May I ask you a personal question?" Helen said, watching Kate closely and following her example in changing the clip to reload her weapon.

Kate looked up from her gun with a frown.

"That is, its personal to me rather than you." Helen elaborated.

"Um." Whatever that meant, Kate thought. But Will had said they should answer any of Helen's questions to help her remember. "Sure. What's up?"

"Well… that is, I wondered…" This felt awkward and Helen didn't really care for the feeling. "What is the nature of my relationship to Nikola?" she forced out.

It wasn't the first time she had tried to get an answer to that. Though she had asked around the question with the others. Will and Henry apparently found the matter awkward as well, giving her vague answers and refusing to define the term "frenemy" to her satisfaction. But Kate seemed a no-nonsense sort of person and Helen was willing to use that to her advantage.

"Um." Kate said again.

Geez, ask the tough questions why don't ya, Doc? she was thinking internally.

"You're friends. Old friends." Kate stated the obvious. Helen nodded, that much had been established already. "I mean, you've had your disagreements and rough spots, even fell out of contact for a few decades here and there. But you two always come running to save each other and seem to really enjoy each other's company. You're friends."

"Close friends?"

"Maybe best friends. I mean you guys kinda argue a lot for what I'd consider a bff but that's me. And a century of friendship counts for a lot. You two have very similar tastes, never seem to run out of random topics to talk about.. Also there's that freaky way you guys seem to read each other's minds just by making eye contact, like you already know what the other is going to say before they speak." Practically finishing each other's sentences when they did speak. It was kinda gross sometimes.

"Very close, then." Helen mused.

How did she ask if there was anything more without sounding interested in the idea? Really, she just wanted to know her own past. Their past. The history between them must surely affect how she interacts with him. She would act very differently towards a man she had been intimate with than she would towards an almost brotherly friend, after all.

But Kate was perceptive as well. She may not be able to read her boss as well as Tesla could but she was no slouch.

"I think there's been times when you weren't friends." Kate shrugged to express that she was primarily guessing. "When you weren't in touch, or one of you thought the other was dead, or he did something stupid. I don't know if there was ever a time when you were more than friends. We all have our own theories on that but neither of you has ever confirmed or denied if all that repressed sexual tension ever led to anything."

Helen hid a blush at Kate's frank examination of the situation between herself and Nikola. So there was something there. Nothing acknowledged, at least not publicly, but some unspoken thing. Now she had some idea why things felt different with him.