'I could listen to this woman talk day after day, and her smile, damn her smile, could make me be putty in her hands instantly," Brock thought you himself while he sat on the other side of the table and listened to Reba talk about her day. Brock had made reservations at one of the most fanciest restaurants in Houston, the restaurant that Reba was having dates with herself so she could have time to herself and read. She seemed to be enjoying herself. There wasn't any tension and awkwardness in the air. In fact, there were times when Brock felt like the past eight years hadn't happened and they were still married, oh how he wished that was the case.
"Elizabeth stayed the weekend with me the other weekend and it was just the two of us since Jake was staying at his friend's house that weekend. I almost forgot what it was like for it to just be me and a young one," Reba continued to speak as she giggled thinking of how much fun that day was.
There was something about the way Reba's face lit up when she talked about their children or grandchildren. Sure, they drove her crazy most of the time, but her love for them was stronger than anything Brock had ever known. "I miss those days," Brock responded quietly as he stared in Reba's eyes, seeing the confusion at his words not only in her eyes but in her face as well. "Those days when the kids were little. Everything felt so right during those days." Brock gently ran his thumb across the top of her hand.
Reba knew exactly what he meant. Their lives were so good when the kids were little. There was no midlife crisis, no mistress, no divorce, only love; love for each other, love for their children, there was love. "You've got to stop blaming yourself for what happened, stop going back to that place that we're both out of now."
Blaming himself was one of the only things he knew how to do. He always blamed himself; blamed himself for hurting him family, his best friend, for tearing them apart, and countless other things that made their lives difficult for the years to follow. He blamed himself for each thing that happened in their lives that he was part of. "I don't know if I can do that, Reba. It's my fault. I'm the one who had the midlife crisis that ruined our lives. Don't act like you don't blame me."
"I did," Reba began as she kept her eyes on him. "For a long time I blamed you. For a long time every time I saw you I got angry, but as time went on I realized that it wasn't only you. If I would have made you feel wanted-"
Suddenly Reba was interrupted as Brock stared into her blue eyes. "I didn't give you a chance to make me feel wanted. When things got tough I made every excuse I could think of to get away and that turned into a separation and a pregnant mistress."
That wasn't a lie. Reba spent countless of hours trying to fix their marriage while Brock spent countless of hours avoiding her, but regardless Reba was past that and she wanted Brock to be past it as well. "Everything is in the past, and our lives didn't turn out that bad. Our children are happy, Henry is happy, and who knows where whatever this is will take us. The one thing I do know is that you have to stop blaming yourself. If there is ever going to be an us you have to stop blaming yourself. I don't blame you so you need to quit blaming you."
While he listened to her words Brock noticed how much they had both grown. Brock wasn't being his offensive self insisting that nothing was his fault and everyone was blaming him, and Reba wasn't yelling at him and blaming for him even though he deserved the blame. "I'll work on it," Brock whispered as he stared at the woman in front of him.
Smiles were exchanged as the two remained silent for the following few minutes. Blame was something that destroyed people, Reba knew that and she didn't want Brock to continue on the road to destruction. "Henry is growing into a great little boy."
The conversation turned to his youngest son made him smile. "Yeah, he is. I'm just glad he hasn't gotten any of those weird obsessions where he has 400 of something like Barbra Jean does with Beanie Babies."
The comment that Brock had made had them both giggling. The man had a point. Barbra Jean had an issue with when she loved something she loved it hard, and made it into an obsession. Her most famous obsession; beanie babies. The woman had even been the vice president of the beanie babies fan club. "You got a point there," Reba couldn't stop laughing as she rolled her eyes.
"I think I'm most scared that I'll screw him up. I'm beyond thrilled that I'm getting custody of Henry, but I'm terrified that the amazing boy he is right now will vanish after a while because of me." Brock hadn't spoke about his fears of raising Henry on his own to anyone, but it did feel good to get it off his chest. He never had to raise any of the kids on his own, where Reba might as well had raised three kids on her own.
There was a look in Brock's eyes that Reba had rarely seen; maybe once, twice at the most. "One thing you have always been is a good father, Brock. We went through a difficult part of our lives where everything was screwed up and our children turned out amazing. I have no doubt that Henry is going to continue to grow into an amazing person. Besides, even though Barbra Jean hasn't always made the best choices, let's be honest none of us have, she is a good person."
His ex-wife was a good person and that was what made Brock love her years ago. "My fear is that because she won't be around as much is that all of the good things that Barbra Jean has instilled in Henry will disappear."
"That's not going to happen, Brock. Barbra Jean is still going to be in his life, and I will be too. After all, I'm fun Aunt Reba, according to Barbra Jean and now Henry," Reba said with a giggle as she looked at her ex-husband. "Besides I only live three houses down. If either of y'all ever need anything I'm always here." Reba's words took her back to a few years back when she went on a diet with Cheyanne and Barbra Jean and Cheyanne had decided to tell Barbra Jean that she could come over to Reba's house anytime she wanted, day or night. The memory made her giggle and she could see the confusion on Brock's face. "It'll all work out. I promise." There were times when talking to Reba was the number one thing Brock needed; to hear the advice that would come from her soft pink lips. Advice that never scared him wrong. Hand in hand, Brock and Reba walked up to her front door while they giggled and talked. "Thank you for an amazing time tonight," Reba spoke once they stopped walking. "I really enjoyed myself."
"Does this mean that we can have a real first date?" His question made his palms start to sweat and he could feel his heartbeat in his head, like his heart wasn't really in his chest but instead in his head. He prayed that Reba couldn't feel his sweaty hands or hear his rapid heartbeat.
Their pre-date hadn't been awkward or tense, which Reba was scared of it feeling like that. Reba didn't want for the first date to be awkward and the idea of a pre-date made her feel no pressure to make sure everything went right. A simple nod of her head and she could see the enormous smile from on Brock's face. "I would really like that."
Reba placed her hand on the doorknob but before she was able to turn it Brock had took it off. "Why not let this last a few more minutes? I'm sure Cheyanne is doing fine with the kids."
A smile grew on Reba's face as she looked at her ex-husband. "The night will have to end at some point or the other."
"But it doesn't have to end now. We can spend the next couple minutes just the two of us. After all, Cheyanne is probably sitting on the couch waiting for us to get home and is going to ask us twenty questions about how the night went and if there's a future between us." The man wasn't wrong. Their oldest daughter was quite nosey, but she always had good intentions.
There was part of Reba that was scared of what would happen if they didn't go ahead and end their pre-date. The evening was great, Reba was worried that the more they prolonged it the more of a chance an argument could happen. With her hand still in Brock's, she gave him a soft smile and looked up at him. "Okay. What would you like to do?"
Brock led Reba to the bench as they both took a seat and he held her close. "I'm perfectly fine sitting right here with you."
This was the side of Brock that she hadn't seen in years, but the side of him that had caused her to fall in love with him all those years ago. "Who are you and what have you done with Brock?" Reba asked as she looked at him and giggled.
"I'm a man who's in love with you," Brock whispered as he stared in Reba's eyes. He could tell by not only the shock on her face, but in her eyes as well, that she had not been expecting that answer. The closeness between them had become extremely clear to both of them, and yet neither of them moved away. In fact, noticing the closeness only had drawn them closer together.
Those words echoed in her reminded her of the song I'll Always Be The Man In Love With You by George Strait, a favorite of both of theirs. The song had been one that Brock had heard on the radio on his way home from work in 1992, and after hearing the song he had went straight to WalMart to see if he could find the CD that the song was on, which he did. The first thing he did that night when he got home was give Reba a kiss and then played the song for her, explaining to her that the song was everything he had always wanted to say to her but could never find the words.
Years later, staring into her blue eyes while sitting on the bench outside the house they once shared, Brock realized that the lyrics of the song were just as true now as they were memory of the event that had took place all those years ago made him slightly smile. "I'll always be the man in love with you," Brock whispered before he connected their lips, an action that he had wanted to do all night but didn't want Reba to think that the physical aspect of their relationship was all he wanted.
His lips had a sense of security, a sense of wholeness. Maybe that was because since the day he had left Reba had always felt broken, even when she didn't let it show. She found herself feeling broken while in other relationships, which was why she believed that her other relationships never advanced much. The other relationships always made her happy in the beginning, and she always had hope that they would fill the holes that had been created when Brock had left, but each time she was left with feeling broken again as she stayed in each relationship longer.
Her eyes quickly jolted open when she felt one of his hands resting on her leg and the other resting on her lower back. Just as quickly as her eyes had opened, they closed. This was another feeling that she hadn't felt in years, but as soon as she felt it she felt loved. Loved, safe, at home. The two were brought out of there moment when the front door swung open and their oldest daughter stood in the doorway, along with Brock's youngest son. The couple quickly scooted away, both aware that Cheyanne had at least seen the closeness of the two, but not sure what Henry had seen. They were going to have some explaining to do.