Nepenthe Chapter 2
Eleutheromania – (n) an intense and irresistible desire for freedom
Harry Potter stifled another soft cry as he clumsily wrapped the cleanest of his rags around his burned hand. The pain festered as Harry bit his lip, not daring to let out another sound in fear that his uncle would drag him back out of his cupboard and give him a thrashing to go with his burn and the knot on his head. Harry carefully felt the back of his skull with his good hand, hoping that the skin hadn't broke open when Uncle Vernon threw him back into his cupboard for ruining breakfast after Dudley ran into him.
Shutting his eyes, Harry forced back a surge of anger. Anger never helped. All it did was make him forget to be careful and get in trouble. Taking a deep breath, Harry took the anger and imagined stuffing the anger into a shoebox and stuffing it under his cot with the rest of the shoeboxes Harry had made since he was 4 and had gotten punished by Uncle Vernon for getting angry at how they treated him. Suppressing a shudder at the memory, Harry felt his shoulders slump as a wave of fatigue sweep over him.
Quietly, Harry shifted so that he was lying on his side, staring up at the underside of the stairs as he made sure that his hand wasn't going hit anything and tried to fall asleep. Sleeping was better than just sitting in the dark, hearing his Aunt and Uncle shower Dudley with praise and the clink of the dishes as they ate. At that moment, Harry's stomach growled and he curled up a little tighter, hoping that he could fall asleep before he had feel any more stomach pain.
Eventually, his eyes fluttered shut and Harry slept once more, the wisp of a thought following him down into the depths of sleep.
Why can't someone want me?
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Neville Longbottom relaxed as he hid in his special clearing as his heart tried to slow its beat. His Uncle Algie wasn't very fit and despised exercise. He was as safe as he could get here. With a sigh, he laid back and watched as the clouds crossed the sky. He laced his shaking hands together over his stomach and tried to focus on the clouds drifting by and not remember the gleam in his Uncle's eyes as he declared that they'd be playing a game. Considering that the last 'game' they played together ended up with him nearly drowning, he had bolted as quickly as he could. His Grandmother will be mad at him later, but Neville couldn't take playing with his Uncle today.
Sometimes, at night when he's alone in bed, he thinks that his Uncle really does want to kill him and his Grandmother wouldn't care as long as she got his father back.
Taking a trembling breath, Neville shut his eyes and started listing the names of all of the plants in his greenhouse. A few minutes later, Neville's hands had stopped shaking and his breathing deepened and his mind started to drift.
Under the open sky, Neville slipped into sleep with a last stray thought.
Would my parents treat me the same?
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Estë parted ways with Nienna and slipped her hand through the image to touch the small boy in the dark and gently caressed his cheek and coaxed his mind into allowing her entry. There was a tremble in his mind as it prodded at her before recoiling as if preparing for a blow. Holding back her tears, Estë reached back to the young mind and soothed its fear before reaching further until she stood beside a young woman with hair the color of fire standing before a barrier of deep love and determination. She was tense and seemed confused even as she set herself firmly as the air around them took on a tinge of despair.
Giving the young mother a gentle smile, Estë took one of her hands even as she gave Lily a soft smile as Lily shuddered and forced back tears that threatened to overflow as she felt the kindness in the being before her.
"Peace, child," Estë said soothingly. "I intend no harm towards you or your son. Indeed, that is why I am here," she said as Lily stared at her, emerald eyes wide gleaming with unshed tears. "I am Estë and I wish to bring your son to a mother who has just lost her own children. He will be loved as if he were her own."
Lily shifted restlessly as her throat closed up. Her son would finally leave this awful place, but this being wasn't from here, she could tell. She felt of wide-open skies, clean, clear air and there was a spark to her energy that was so undefinable. Lily could still feel traces of the cosmos on her, the deep, dark vastness and the light that trailed her. This being was the very definition of otherworldly. Her son likely wouldn't find a new home here.
And what would happen to her? Would her protection magic on Harry still hold? And what of the magic that Voldemort left? Would his magic remain while hers faded away? Would Harry be in danger if that happened? Lily finally gathered herself and asked a simple question.
"What would happen to the magics in my son?" Lily bit her lip and felt her shoulders begin to rise in unease even as she continued to look the celestial woman. Estë smiled reassuringly.
"The darkness in the boy will be purged and expelled into the ether, never to be reclaimed or found again. The creature that rent his soul will find no peace with the gods of this world or my own. Indeed, many worlds and gods will not accept him for the heinous crimes he has committed." Estë shrugged. It was a bit peculiar and out of place seeing what Lily now knew to be a goddess or at the very least a messenger on their behalf do something as mundane as a shrug. "It is likely," Estë continued, "that the soul fragment will be devoured by the creatures of the ether soon after he is expelled from Harry." Estë paused and looked at the mingled relief and hesitance on her face before she took up the thread of conversation again.
"The magics you have laid on your son, however," Lily tensed and watched her with a look of apprehension as she seemed to hunch in on herself a bit, trying to ready herself for whatever bad news Estë had for her. If Voldemort was going to be tossed into the 'ether', what would happen to her? Maybe she'd get lucky and just pass on. "Will be with him for some years yet." Estë held back a laugh at the look on Lily's face.
Lily tried to say something, anything, questions tumbled about in her brain, but before she could say a word, a sob came loose. Immediately, Lily covered her mouth as her vision blurred with tears. As she tried to get herself back under control, she felt a pair of loving, gentle arms embrace her and her head was tucked under another's and pillowed on a shoulder coved with a glimmering cloth softer than a cloud. Lily couldn't hold back anymore.
Lily sobbed. She wept until her nose was swollen, her eyes were red and her cheeks were blotchy and Estë's shoulder were soaked. She cried for Harry and his life of abuse at the hands of her sister and her family. She cried for all the little things that all children knew and expected yet Harry had never received in his memory. A brush of fingers stroking his cheek. Kisses so soft that they might have been imagined. Gentle hands attempting to fix his bird's nest he called hair. Lily had done all this once for Harry. But he couldn't remember. He had forgotten all that had happened before that horrible Halloween. Even the portraits of her and James in his mindscape had faded until they were mere shadows.
Lily cried for James. The man who loved her and Harry so much that he had died for them. A man with wild hair that he had given his son. A man with a crooked grin. A man whose glasses always slipped down his nose. A man that loved to dance with his wife when no music was playing. A man who sang along with Celestina Warbeck when she was on the wireless. A man that loved his friends as deeply and fiercely as if they were brothers. A man who baby talked his son. A man that refused to put his baby down. A man that took every midnight feeding he could so that he could talk to his son and soothe him and tell him of all the things they would do. A man that wanted to teach his son to fly. A man that wanted to give his son the world.
She cried for their future. A future they would never have together. They wouldn't have picnics in the park with their son. No taking their son to his first day of school. No more races around the kitchen as they tried to tickle each other only to both end up on the floor laughing breathlessly and the winner stole a kiss. No more surprises for the other. No more flowers on anniversaries. They'd never be able to tease their son when he came home blushing when he talked about a crush. They'd never soothe Harry's nightmares. No more pileups in front of the fire reading to each other. No standing there as he graduated Hogwarts and cheering for him and crying as he received his diploma. They'd never attend his wedding. They would never be grandparents.
Eventually, Lily's tears came to an end. Lifting his face from Estë's shoulder in embarrassment, she hurriedly tried to wipe away her tears. Before she could turn her face away, soft hands gently cupped her face and lifted it to look at Estë. Lily blushed. She knew she looked horrible. She was not a pretty crier. Estë simply smiled and drew her back into her arms. Lily let out a shuddering sigh. Her tears were gone now. She had released the pain she had carried over the years from every time Harry was slighted by his family and his own dreams of where he had a family who loved him. Now she simply rested and let her mind drift as she soaked in the comfort Estë offered. Finally Lily shifted slightly and Estë drew back and smiled and waited for Lily to compose herself once more. Clearing her throat to rid it of the last of its roughness after her crying jag, she looked at Estë and asked a single question.
"She will love Harry as her own?" Her eyes were locked with Estë as she peered into the Vala's eyes and saw the cosmos swirl within them. Estë had a simple reply.
"Yes." Lily nodded and then took a deep and shuddering breath as what ifs and doubts flashed through her mind. Determined, she cast those questions and worries aside and only had one word to say in reply. For Harry.
"Yes." And with that, the shimmering barrier that had been standing this whole time shone brighter than ever and the two women were no longer there.
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Oh. My. God. That was emotional at the end. I made myself tear up writng about James. Anyways, Lily's said yes but Estë still needs to talk to Harry. Fun. Nienna will pop up next chapter. We won't be seeing Cinnylir for a few more chapters. For being main characters, I haven't spent much time on the boys. Whoops. And for the characters that I threw in that were helped by our lovely Vala, they were:
Midoriya Izuku aka Deku from Boku no Hero Academia
Urameshi Yuusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho
Hanasaki Momoko from Wedding Peach
Katnis Everdeen from the Hunger Games
Thank you for guessing everyone! I love when people respond to my questions at the end.
And for more info on Lily and what she's doing with Harry, check out my other story, Agape. Both Lily's started off the same but it's diverged because of Cinnylir. So I guess this part of the story is an AU of Agape which is an AU from canon. Lol.