=============Chapter 2: Enter Lisa.===================

[Bart and Milhouse are wrestling in the treehouse]

"El Barto gets into position for frying dutchman manuever,the crowd is on their feet!" Bart announced as the boys circled each other.

"Not this time Bart!" shouted Milhouse as Bart grabbed his hands and kickd his feet out from under him, putting him in a choke hold.

[cut to Lisa watching from her room at her desk]

"Sigh,no womder he can't see me,hes too stupid to see that move coming a mile away " Lisa said makring another tally for Bart in her "Milhouse wrestling Journal".

"I could study that boy for the rest of my life and never figure him out" She said.

Just then Lisa could smell maple syrup; the scent wafting up the stairs.

"Ohh, Waffles!" Lisa exclaimed as she rushed out of her room.

[cut to kitchen]

Homer is flipping eggo waffles on the stove like hamburger patties,pouring syrip over them in the the skillet.

"Dad,what are you doing?"

"Just making breakfast honey."

"You're suppose to use the waffle iron for that!"

"Yeah,there were some complications with that,I'm going to have to take it back,so I made old fashioned freezer waffles instead!"

[cut to blackened-encrusted waffle iron]

Lisa grabs the waffle iron out of the trash.

"What happened here?" She asked opening the waffle iron.

"is this a sherrifs badge? Why would you put this in here?!" Lisa asked shouting at her father.

"I was gonna call it the lawful waffle.." Homer replied,a look of sadness on his face.

"Where's mom?"

"Oh," Homer giggled " she's feeling a little under the weather ,so I decided to make you kids breakfast,see, I already fed Maggie!

[cut to Maggie in high chair]

Maggie is dunking a doughnut into her coffe,a half empty box sitting beside her. Maggie takes a bite of her doughnut and a drink of coffee,then burps.

"Dad! said we're supposed to be weaning maggie OFF caffeine!"

[cut to box of coffee ice cream]

"Why is this out?! Why is the milk out? Did you break the blender?!" Lisa interrupted her father. " is this champagne?!"

"I was making chocolate milkmosas.." Homer said as saddness flashed across his face again.

"Every year mom sleeps in all summer, and I end up having to clean up the kitchen! Plus Maggie gains ten pounds!"

[ cut to Maggie]

Maggies onesie rips and her belly flops out.

"I know things are a little crazy around here right now honey. What with that Milhouse weiner running around,but theres no reason you still can't have a great summer!" Homer assured Lisa as he put a plate of burnt eggos on the table.

"Hmmm,better dress 'em up a little" Homer said putting the eggos between pieces of toast,then smothering them with syrup.

"There! We'll call it the eggo of the world as we know it!" He said.

Lisa groaned "Where are Bart and Milhouse, they should have to eat this too.."

"Who? Oh, the boy and his little weiner friend."

Homer grabbed the bullhorn off the top of microwave."Baaaaart! Weeeineeeeer!"

The boys come running in and sit at the table.

Homer plops plate infront of Bart.

"Hey what the hell is this, Homer?" asked Bart,disgusted.

"it's breakfast, boy,now eat it."

"Thanks Mr. Simpson" Said Milhouse.

"There see,you should be more like your little weiner friend." said Homer. " he knows when to kiss butt".

"He's just kissing your butt cause his parents ran off." said Bart matter of factly.

"Bart! You're not supposed to say tha infront of him!" replied Lisa.

"That's okay, they just like to take seperate vacations,away from me". Milhouse trailed off.

"- there ya go weiner keep your head up." said Homer pouring his chocolate concoction into champagne glasses.

"I'll see you kids at , I love you. Bart,if you get arrested I'm not bailing you goes for you weiner." Homer stated as he headed up the stairs glasses in hand.

"So,Milhouse,what are you doing today?"

" Me and Bart are going to go put a dead fish in Skinner-"

"-Milhouse don't tell her our plans,you squealer!" interrupted Bart as he slammed his fist down.

"Bart-can't you atleast leave Skinner alone during the summer?"

"I don't wanna fall out of practice for the school year".

"Ugh,well if YOU wanna join me later I'm going to a poetry reading at the library." Lisa remarked gesturing toward Milhouse.

"Lisa,we don't have time for school,it's summer."

"I was inviting Milhouse, Bart," corrected Lisa.

"He doesn't wanna go to the library,Lisa."

"I don't know Bart, sounds kinda cool."

"Stop being nice Milhouse, Homers not gonna kick you out for anything,he's too lazy to get that mad." Bart said as he threw his plate into the sink.

"Come on Milhouse," said Bart pulling Milhouse behind him as the boys head off.

"Stupid boys," Lisa said as she took a bite of her waffle,chipping her tooth.

"OWWW!" screamed Lisa. "Ooooh Maggie,I miss mom,how can she leave dad in charge like this."

Maggie sucks pacifer covered in maple syrup and coffee stains "Well lets get you cleaned up" said Lisa as she pulls Maggie out of her high chair.

[cut to The Frying Dutchman]

Bart and Milhouse are wearing blonde wigs and wooden shoes.

"Now remember Milhouse everything has to sound stupid if this guy is gonna think we're legit." said Bart adjusting his wig.

"I get that Bart, but why do I have to wear the dress?" complained Milhouse " couldn't we both be a boy?"

"It's a mom and pop restaurant Milhouse,one of us has to be the girl."

"Okay,I guess I pull off the pigtails better anyway."

"Yeah",snickered Bart," that too".

"Hehe,sucker." said Bart under his breath.

Bart opens the door as they head inside,the sea captain is standing at the counter.

"AYE you must be the swedish minows with the new restaurant,just in time too, my customers won't put up with this stench if she gets much worse."

Bart nudged Milhouse "aaynd thank you verty much forda fishee" said Milhouse awkwardly.

"Aye Aye,come this way."

The boys follow him to the back,the smell is rancid,and makes the boys eyes water.

Bart pinches nose "aye carumba!"

The sea captain looks at him.

"I mean Ayieie caroomba,wayt a yummy fysh!" corrected Bart.

"Milhousen,bring around the biken,and loawd hair up!"

"Hey it's not my bike! It's Lisa's, you made-"

"Ahem!" blurted Bart.

"I mean-lickity splitty husband bossy" sighed Milhouse.

"And how will ye be payin?"

"Chargey cardey"said Bart handing Homers credit card.

"Aye Mr Simpson."

[cut to simpsons house,Lisas room]

"Okay,got my outfit, got my jazz hat, fake black rimmed glasses to ,ae ,me look sophisticated,and my book of provocative poems."

"Too bad Milhouse can't come out,but I can't let that keep me from flying my freak flag." Lisa said walking out the door.

[cut to garage]

"Where's my bike! ugh! Bart must have took it for his stupid fish scheme! Can't wait to get out of this house!" groaned Lisa.

"Milhouse's bike doesn't have a basket,guess I'll have to walk." she sighed

Lisa heads down Evergreen Terrace, after a couple of blocks,she runs into Nelson on his bike,Nelson stops infront of her.

"Hey Lisa,wheres your dingus brother?"

"He's out with Milhouse stinking up Skinners car, he took my bike."

Nelson tisk tisk'd.

"Hate to see someone put their carrear before their familty,hop on, I stole some bike pegs from some dork".

[cut to front of Ralphs house,Ralph is on his huffy bike with no tires,water wings on and a helmet]

"I'm a biker!" He exclaims proudly as the bike falls over.

[cut to Lisa and Nelson]

Lisa is riding on back pegs,Nelson is peddling.

"Hold on tight,we got a hill coming up" said Nelson as he stood up to peddle harder

Lisa finds herself staring at his butt. "wow Nelson you've got some strong...calves."

"Yeah it's from chasing down nerds."

[cut to infront of library]

"Thanks for the ride Nelson, you know I'm one of the speakers if youd like to come inside and listen."

"Meh,I got a couple hours till I'm supposed to beat up Martin." said Nelson as he parked his bike.

[cut to inside of library]

A small stage is set up with a microphone where Troy Mclure is smoking, waiting to start .

Lisa and Nelson take a seat.

In the crowd we see Moe,Bumblebee man,Disco Stu,Edna,Waylon Smithers, Comic book guy, Hans Moleman and Carl Carlson.

"Hi,and welcome to the 6th annual summer poetry slam! I'm Troy Mcclure,you may remember me from such public speaking events as; Klingon Komedy where no man has laughted before and Divorcees reunite: one night only."

"Tonight we'll be featuring local talent pouring out their hard wrought emotional toil,so get comfortable,pull out your flasks,and enjoy!"

"First up,we have Moe the Bartender!" announced Troy Mclure as Moe stood up and headed to the stage with light clapping the background.

"Okay,so the first one I gots heres called "Give me your keys".

"My name is moe,

and I own the bar,

I'll serve you up duff,

till you forget where you parked your car.."

Finished Moe to be met with silence except for Barney cheering in the back ground.

"Alright,well maybe you'll like this next one better,I call it "Prelude to diarrhea."

"Beer not your style?

That's not a problem

Try our pickled eggs

Before they go rotten."

This time he was met with light clapping as Barney wipes a tear from his eye.

"Wow, that sucked." Nelson whispered to Lisa as she giggled.

"Yeah,thank you ya pukes!" moe says as he walks off stage and sits down next to Barney,

Barney hugs moe,weeping.

"Ah get off me ya blubbering whale,should have got ya a babtsitter."

"Alright,thanks for slinging those soulful suds moe,next up we have Lisa,our little princess of poetry,give it up folks."

Clapping,indistinct cheering.

Milhouse walks in,just as Lisa takes the stage.

"This ones called "Blue haired boy".

"Blue haired boy,

out my bedroom window,

the attention he pays me,

equals out to zero,

(Lisa plays sax in a slow, jazzy rythm.]

He dances through my house,

as I watch him like a weirdo,

my feelings for this boy,

have finally reached crescendo."

Lisa plays sax again to the rythm

"My heart beats for him,

from here to San Francisco,

but to him I'm just a no one,

Like mister Stu to disco"

Lisa played sax, as Disco Stu looks shocked and hurt.

"Wow,thats a pretty wicked I guess,I always thought she was just a dork,but this is kinda cool." Nelson thought to himself.

[cut to Milhouse[

"I had no idea Lisa felt this way about me,or how good she can play!" said Milhouse as he started dancing slowly,hugging himself and swaying his butt.

Lisa sees Milhouse dancing and starts playing more passionatly.

Nelso notices Milhouse dancing by the door" I guess she just wrote it for that dork,figures..."

Nelson gets up and starts heading for the door,and appraoched Milhouse.

"Congratulations loser." said Nelson as he socked him in the gutt.

"Ow! Nelson,why'd you punch me?"

Nelson scuffs and heads out door.

[cut to Tina's toom]

"TiiiiNNNAAA,its shower time,I need you to take yours now,cause your fathers closing up shop now and it takes both of us to get Gene in the tub." said Linda.

"It's time to accept me for who I am!" shouted Gene as he ran down the hall covered in cheese sauce.

"UGGGGGHHH" Screamed Linda as she left the room chasing down a cheese covered Gene,leaving tracks of cheddar in the carpet.

"Guess thats enough for tonight,oh well,after all this dirty fiction,I need a steamy rinsin'. said Tina as she headed to the bathroom.