===============Chapter 3: Tina tries her tale===============
[Tina's room,morning]
[alarm goes off playing Boyz 4 Now]
Tina rolls over groaning and hits the alarm switch,sitting up and putting on her glasses "shoot,I must have hit the snooze again in my sleep."
[cut to earlier that morning]
Tina is thrashing in her sleep and hits snooze with her arm as it goes off.
[cut back to present time]
"No time for erotic fiction now,ive got a Milhouse to mortgage."
[cut to kitchen]
Gene and Louise are seated at the table,Gene is playing his keyboard making fart sounds to the tune of london bridge as Louise is slapping her oatmeal with a spoon to the is splattered all over the table.
Linda is washing her diaphram in the sink,and cocks her head to see whats going on.
"I am not cleaning up that mess little lady."
"Good,I've always thought this table would look better with a little textur!" replied Louise.
"NOW JUiCE SOLO!" Gene stops playing and Louise throws the juice onto the table.
"Well I hope that was fun,Louise,cause now you gotta clean it up!" shreiked Linda poking the paper towel roll at Louise.
"Fine,I was about to blow this joint anyway!"Said Louise as she ripped off a single towellette and places it in the dead center of the table, walking off.
"Breakfast art:forever controversial" lamented Gene with a fart in C sharp.
Tina walks in with a black hat and shirt and sits at the table.
"Uh oh,looks like the cures in town,hide the eyeliner." said Gene to Tina.
"I'm trying something new."
"What,-oh let me take a looksie" Linda said as she put her diaphram down on the kitchen counter.
"Wow,looks like someones ready to goth around the clock,hah hah"
Bob walks in "Tina why are you dressed like you're going to a joy division concert?"
"Aaaa-ah I already did that joke dad,write your own stuff" interjected Gene.
"Really,how have you heard of Joy Division Gene?"
"Well I said The Cure,but same joke.."
"ah,well a little more commerical,but Tina why are you dressed like that? asked Bob turning to Tina.
"in my story Lisa showed Milhouse how cool she was,so I'm gonna try to show Jimmy Jr the kinda girl I really am."
"Oh well, that actually sounds like a great idea."
"Yeah I'm gonna show him some of my erotic fiction at school today!"
"okay,thats.. not a good idea Tina." corrected Bob.
"Didn't you already embarass yourself doing that at school?" said Louise.
"Yeah,but that wasnt about him, and this is erotic poetry,its tottaly different."
"Wow,yeah,way to think outside of,but right next to the box Tina." joked Louise
"Yeah,and this time he's gonna be so impressed he'll start dancing and then we'll fall in love forever."
"OH SO MUCH CONFiDENCE, I LOVE iT! KNOCK HiM DEAD GiRLFRiEND!" shouted Linda as she hugged Tina.
Bob groans in dissaproval.
[cut to front of Wagstaff]
Tina is walking up with the rest of the belcher kids.
"Call in the coven, cause its wiccan weather!" shouted Zek stupidly pointing at her.
"Yeah cool clothes Tina,I like your new hair beret really holds back your hair." said JJ
"Oh,you like it? maybe later I can lose it, and you can hold my hair back for me.."
"Uh yeah maybe later."
"Ka-Blamo!" said Gene mocking Tina..
[cut to science class]
Tina is sitting behind JJ and Zek. "Wow I can't believe its working" thought Tina to her self " who would have thought you could bring your freak fiction to life..me I thought that."
Zek raised his hand
"Yes,Zek?" The teacher acknowledged.
"How long does it take for a gas to become a solid? like an hour? twenty minutes?"
"Well deposition can occur at different rates depending on the substance."
"What about breakfast burritos?"
"What are you talking about Zek?"
Zek farts and the class busts up laughing.
"Oh, I think it's happening now, its' gonna be solid in no time- Watch out!" Zek said farting between pauses.
"Hah! way to rip one Zek!" Said JJ.
"Uggh,I've gotta find a way to get Jimmy Junior alone at lunch." Tina thought to herself trying not to breathe through her nose.
"Zek,go to the office." said the teacher pointing the door.
"Awwww" remarked Zek leaving the room.
Tina Smiled."Now thats fate, advantage Tina."
[cut to lunchroom]
Jimmy Junior is sitting alone at the table,Tina sees him and rushes over clumsily.
"Hey Jimmy Junior, you're looking fit." said Tina out of breath.
"Yea,some days I like to leave my gym clothes on so I can really stretch out before my dances,wanna see?" asked JJ as he started getting up.
"Uh-thats okay,maybe later,I wanted to show you some of the things I've written about you-poems- I mean, I wrote some poetry" said Tina nervously.
"Uh,I don't know Tina,this is kind of my down time at school,I dont wanna burn my eyes out from too much reading."
"Okay,I could just read it to you outloud."
"Yeah that'd be okay I guess," conceded Jimmy J as students started filing in and taking seats by them.
"Theres a boy in my heart,
who dances all day,
he wears a tuxedo shirt,
and leans on a cane,
[more people start sitting by them talking loudly]
"Tina you have to speak up,I can't hear you."
"oh okay,
HiS BUTT WiGGLES SLOWLY,
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM,
[people close by stop talking and start listeing in]
JJ looks embarrased, " Uh Tina-"
iF I STARE TOO LONG,
I START TO GO BLiND
[scattered laughter,more people listening,staring]
BUT I CAN'T PRY MY EYES,
FROM HiS PRECiOUS BEHiND."
[lunchroom breaks into laughter staring at them, Jimmy Junior gets scared and runs off in a panic]
"Jimmy Junior noooo!" cried Tina as she got up and ran to the bathroom.
[cut to Wagstaff bathroom]
Tina is crying at the sink, as Tammy and Jocelyn walk in.
"Daang girl...that,was,embarassing" said Tammy.
"Yeah you really freaked him out,what were you doing? asked Jocelyn
"I was trying to read him some of my erotic poetry,and everyone came in and he got nervous and it ruined everything" Tina cried descended into sobbing.
"Woah Tina take a chill pill,it's gonna be okay,I can't believe you brought that stuff to school,again." said Tammy consoling Tina.
"The worst part is,I didn't get to finish it,he didn't even get to hear the part about his butt!"
"What made you think that would work anyway Tina?" asked Jocelyn
"in my story Lisa writes a really good poem and she plays her saxophone and Milhouse dances even though it's out of character."
"Okay I don't know who those peope are but I heard the word story,and thats boring,okay! You need to show Jimmy Junior some flash. You need to drop that goth,and make him a moth!"
"A moth?"
"Yeah,to your flame girlfriend," interjected Jocelyn "you gotta burn him to death with jealousy!"
"Yeah make him come to you,like I;m doing with Zek!"
"Oh!" Tina wipes face. "are you and Zek going out?"
"No..." blurted Jocelyn.
"Uh,no," said Tammy turning to Jocelyn " not yet cause it takes time Jocelyn"
"OKAY!" she responded.
Tammy turned to Tina.
"You gotta work him,crush that crush,turn him into a fine powder,then he'll be putty in your hands."
"Wait will he be powder or putty,cause im allergic to silly putty"
"Fine,he'll be powder Tina." said Tammy comforting Tina. "okay.." sobbed Tina.
[cut to Tinas room]
Tina is seated at her desk, chewing her pen and thinking to herself.
"She got Milhouse on the hook,but that butt is sure to wiggle off just like Jimmy Junior,but maybe she could put his heart in a full Nelson?" she said as she started writing,