Form

I would expect the large iron gates of the school to be a lonely sight this early on a Sunday morning. I am rather surprised to see several individual students and a couple of pairs waiting to meet with their peers and apparent significant others if the anxious looks of a few of the individuals are of any indication.

My hair is still wet from the shower I took after my morning exercise. Sundays were not an exception to my health after all. Emi was a cheerful and chatty as ever. When the inevitable topic of what my plans were today, I braced myself. When I told her how I was going to the city with Kawana to help with her photography I was not disappointed. I subconsciously rub my right ribs and wonder if all of Emi's elbow nudging is going to leave a bruise.

"Good morning Nakai."

I turn around to see a bowing Kawana. As usual I replicate the gesture and say my greeting before taking a moment to look at her. I have never seen her wearing anything other than her usual school uniform after all.

I always found it interesting how often people use clothing as an expression of identity. Kawana is certainly surprising, and not surprising in her choice. She wears a rather simple black dress that runs down to her mid thigh. The cut at the top barely reveals her collarbone. It is rather loose fitting, obviously as a means to hide her brace. What is unusual is the sleeves, the ends of which hanging like a wizard's robe.

However, what is even more unusual is the fact that, apart from the camera around her neck she is carrying only a single large shopping bag which she passes to me, a beaming smile on her face.

"I thank you for your assistance."

It doesn't take long for the bus to arrive. The trip to the city is rather pleasant. We mostly filled the time looking at the groups of students on the bus and trying to conjure up stories as to what they were up to and where they were going. The more absurd the better. I think my story involving an underclassman and his girlfriend that tapered off to a borderline re-enactment of Macbeth wins the day. Kawana strugglin to hold back what would have been a very disruptive bout of laughter.

I muse on how easy it is for the two of us to fall into such comfortable silences as we walk through the crowded city streets. I almost lament when Kawana decides to break it.

"Nakai, what are you reading at the moment?"

"Actually nothing too exciting. I'm trying to get through the Collection of Hagiwara Sakutaro for literature. I'm finding it to be an absolute slog. I wonder if you cheat to get the marks you do in that class. I guess poetry isn't my thing. How about you? Did you finish Book of Blood 3 yet?"

"I did, the homicidal cancerous tumour was a little bit weird. But I enjoyed it overall. I've begun Karada. Thank you for that recommendation by the way. Although I thought you were required to avoid horror? Doctors orders?"

"Yes I am. The fact that I had to close that book after a few pages made me think of you right away."

"Nakai, I am unsure whether to be flattered or insulted."

"It's not a question of taste. With a bad heart I have to avoid undue stress where possible. The doctors basically ruled out horror movies for me completely. The jump scares are almost certain to send me to an early grave."

"I know what you mean. I hate being startled. I like being made uncomfortable, revulsion, confronted. Being startled is cheap. I could recommend a laundry list of good horror movies that wouldn't startle you."

"I have to decline. You know I'm not too big on horror anyway. Although I'm sure you press the issue because you know it makes me uncomfortable."

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Sometimes. But I've seen your photography. That style of yours is your raison d'être. Although I do understand why so few people would be interested in it. Not that you really mind right?"

Kawana proudly nods at this declaration. Pausing for a moment she seems to be carefully choosing her words to accompany her reply.

"Nakai. I've been meaning to ask. Why did you want a copy of that photo. You're certainly not an egotist. And while I think it's a good photo. It certainly does not paint you in a very flatting light."

I knew this question would come some day. It is an obvious one to ask. And the answer is simple. The idea of answering it, to somebody else just makes me uncomfortable. Kawana was always about facing that fear. I take a deep breath to steel myself.

"It's a reminder and a motivator. When I came to Yamaku I wasn't in a very good place. I'm sure you can attest to that. Shizune and Misha certainly could. I vividly remember my thoughts when you showed me the picture. I hated the subject of it, I hated that look in his face. The miserable, pathetic expression."

"So my picture motivated you to improve yourself because you hated it so much? That's..."

I desperately try to interrupt her. I can see her face reddening.

"No Kawana I don't ha..."

My desperate pleas are ignored as she seems to continue undaunted.

"Wonderful..."

What?

"My photograph has had an actual effect on somebody. Not just emotionally. But motivated them to better themselves. Isn't that wonderful?"

Flushed cheeks and beaming eyes face me accompanied by the cutest of smiles. I find the language portion of my brain reduced to gibberish.

"Uh..yeah.."

As happy as I am for Kawana I'm sure my face is more closely resembling a tomato. I need to steer the subject.

"So, Kawana. Where's our first stop?"

The heat of the midday sun does little to disturb the peace of the cemetery. Unfortunately I couldn't say the same for my body. As Kawana paces along the well trodden dirt path, I seek the shade of one of the trees.

"A little hot Nakai? There's a thermos of water in the bag. Help yourself!"

I look in the large shopping bag and eagerly grab the thermos. Filling one of the two plastic mugs I take a long swig, enjoying the feeling of the cool liquid going down my body. Putting the thermos and cups back in the bag I take another look at its contents.

When Kawana proposed the idea of me accompanying her to help out with her photography, I had expected to be trudging around lights and photography equipment. Instead I am simply carrying a bag with what appeared to be the contents of a picnic lunch. Having cooled down a bit I quickly catch up to Kawana to ask her about it.

However, Kawana is standing in front of a grave, staring intently at it. She doesn't seem to notice my approach. I look at her, observing her eyes, picturing the gears in her mind turning as she analysed what she was observing.

"Nakai. What do you see?"

I stand beside her, looking at the grave. It's older than the two on each side of it. The inscription is faded, the stone is dirty and weather worn. The concrete slab is cracked. I consider the likelihood that it is simply older. That is until I look at the grave to its right. The difference in the time of death only being a couple of months. I reply somewhat more solemnly than I expected.

"Abandonment."

"Yes. It's easy to forget isn't it? When we are apart from people how easy it is to fade from memory."

I grimace to myself. I really can relate. I can see myself in that hospital bed, my proverbial inscription getting more weather worn and faded in the eyes of my friends. I wonder if I walked down the street of my home town now. Would they even recognize me?

A camera flash snaps me out of my brooding. Only now Kawana is smirking at me.

"Having a bit of déjà vu?"

We hop off the bus back at Yamaku at dusk. The walk back to the dorms is in a mutual silence. Both of us tired from the rather brisk pace mixed with the heat of the day. It was thanks to my exercise that I was even able to keep up. The picnic lunch in the shade of one of the trees at the cemetery seems somewhat morbid in retrospect. However, such a picnic lunch was so Kawana.

We say our goodnights, punctuated by a polite bow. As I enter the boy's dorm building I suddenly ponder. Was this technically a date? We're a boy and a girl, going out somewhere, together. But neither of us have expressed romantic interest in one another. A date including photographing graves at a cemetery. Not your typical date. But so Kawana.