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Onwards with the next chapter!
*edited May 2017
Chapter Seven: Fili Junior
I wake up to the sound of Gandalf yelling. "Get up! The sun has just begun to rise! We must go on!"
I start to curse the blasted man mentally as I try to cling to the last hope of sleep and warmth. And I was having such a lovely dream that involved plenty of food and a flowerbed of cute puppies and kittens. I would much rather that dream than what was going on at that moment; I'd like to have my refund on reality, please and thank you. With a grumble, I try to squeeze my eyes even tighter, hoping to banish the light creeping up on the other side of my eyelids, making everything an orange and pink hue. My entire body was stiff from being curled up in one position and I can already feel the wince I'll make when I go to stand and stretch my bones. Just five more minutes, Grandma Gandalf, I murmur as I shift my head, noticing how one side of my body seemed to be warmer than the other and pull the warming radiator closer to me.
Now just wait a gosh darn minute.
I crack an eye open to find that, no, it isn't a big, soft radiator that I'm clinging to; it's, none other, than Thorin's youngest, brunette nephew. I feel both my eyes begin to widen as I realise that I'm snuggle very closely to his side with a blanket draped over my curled up form (which is weird because I am positive that I went to sleep with only my clothes for warmth). For a moment, all I can do is stare with blurred and fuzzy vision, eyes slowly blinking as my body begins to wake up along with my mind, bones aching and stiff as I start to piece together how strange our position was. I'm rolled into a tight ball on my side, probably from when the night had attacked me with its cold fingers, pressed up against Kili's side. A crick is in my neck from my resting it on his chest and it hurts to move my head; I can feel his arm wrapped underneath me, his hand coming up to rest on top of my shoulder. I'm surrounded by him, by brown and the smell of smoke and rain and horse. All I can do is stare, stare at how the rising sun is stretching its gentle touch across his face, catching on his eyelashes and hair, the world on fire around me. The heat from his body is overwhelming and I can tell for certain that my cheeks red; my heart is picking up pace, tripping beneath my rib cage.
Oh my God, what the Hell is wrong with me?!
I let out a squeal as I shoot back, ass over tit as I tumble backwards due to the blanket getting tangled in my loose and clumsy limbs.
"Shit!" I yelp as I quickly shuffle to my feet. I quickly turn away as I slap both of my cold hands over my very red and very warm cheeks. No one has noticed my little freak out as they're all rubbing the sleep from their eyes and quickly packing away. Oh, God, what am I doing?! I just couldn't keep myself together, could I?
I quickly bend down, slinging my bag (which I had used in favour of a pillow last night) over my head when I meet Kili's sleep filled brown eyes, reaching a hand up to rub the sleep from an eye (must. Resist. Urge. To. Squeal.) while using stretching the other above his head. Instantly, I turn my eyes away briefly as the blood rushed to the surface beneath my cheeks, standing up straight while laughing awkwardly as I scratch the back of my neck.
"Ha ha, hey, champ! Morning!" I say in a very high - pitched voice as I feel a forced smile find its way onto my lips. "Wow, great day, don't you think?" I take a deep breath, emphasising my words and let out another bout of satisfied nervous laughter.
"I guess so," Kili answers in a voice that is thick with sleep. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the first time I want to actually fuck a voice; ugh, could I get any creepier and weirder? "You're . . . energetic this morning."
"Ha, well, yes," I stutter as I watch him stand to his feet, trying to ignore the memory of waking up cuddled to his side, "nothing wrong with being a ball of energy in the morning. Wow, is that the time?" I glance down at my bare wrist, pretending a watch is there. It probably looks weird to Kili since he doesn't even know what a watch is. "You know what? I think I'm just going to just - um - yeah."
Twirling on the heel of my foot I move to walk away, trying to push the shame and horror of bloody awkwardness and weirdness, repressing the memory. I'm being way too weird towards him for something I did. Like, shit, I'm the one that decided to snuggle into him... wasn't I? Well, of course it had to be my fault, as if he would even think about doing something so... intimate with me, let alone someone he barely even knew. I can feel a bad mood descending and I shake my head, scattering the gathering rain clouds as I try to not remember how warm I felt waking up next to him, with his arm around me, making me feel safer in the open night... Damn! Grumbling and cursing myself, under my breath I'm about five feet away when Kili speaks again.
"Wait, your blanket."
My what?
I glance over my shoulder, stopping mid stride, to see Kili, getting to his feet, holding the same blanket I woke up in clutched in his hand. I pretty sure - no, I'm positive that I didn't have a blanket last night. I let my eyes narrow at the sight, flickering my gaze to his face to take in the sight of his rather messy bed head. If his hair is looking at least somewhat dishevelled, I don't even want to think about my own hair looks like. Pulling at my sleeves to keep my hands occupied, I shuffle awkwardly closer to him, my eyes stuck to the sight of the woollen blanket that he's holding.
"That's not mine," I explain, "I just woke up to it on me."
Kili shrugs as he bundles it up, not caring if it creased, before throwing it at me to catch. Me being, well, me, it splats into my face due to my very slow reflexes and I tug it off at me, strands of hair all around my face and in my face, catching on my lips, nearly growling at the Dwarf. I just know that, along with my horrid case of bed head, my hair is looking down right horrible with knots and tangles.
"I know," Kili replies as he turns away from me and begins to pack away his own things, "I had a spare. You would have frozen during the night with only them odd clothes for warmth." I don't think I needed a blanket when I leeched your body heat off of you.
I literally turn into a puddle on the floor; a blushing, stammering and smiling puddle that's suddenly holding to the itchy wool as though it is a life - line.
Oh God, he's going to be the death of me, if not anything else, on the stupid quest! I need to stop acting like this around him! He's just a guy, gosh!
A guy that's really cute and nice and I just want to smush his face together and make baby noises.
"Oh, erm," I begin to feel very hot in the face and my thoughts start to tangle and get very messy. I try to find my voice with my tongue all tied, "well, um, yeah, t - thanks! I think I just better, um... yeah. Bye!"
I dash away with my face very hot, reaching behind to place my blanket in my bag, briefly turning my attention from walking and I'm not far away when I trip over something and do this weird little flip thing before landing on the moving thing beneath me. I let out a squawk before rolling off of the bundle that - as he suddenly moves the blanket away - is Fili. His mane of golden hair is somehow still in place.
Seriously, how the fuck do Dwarves keep their hair looking like they just walked off of Disney movie?! I can't even let my hair dry without looking like Mufasa afterwards!
"Sweet niblets, Fili!" I growl as I slap his shoulder. I can hear his younger brother laughing at the two of us. I can just see the dust of red on Fili's cheeks as he continues to grumble and stands up. I follow him and brush myself down, glaring at the Dwarf. "You ever do that again and it's toodle - loo to Fili Junior," I faux threaten as I shake my fist at him. But, aren't you the one who tripped over him?
Yeah, well, his body shouldn't have got in the way of my foot.
That's where his eyebrows knit together in confusion at my threat. "Fili - what?"
I wave my hand in the air as if to say 'never - mind'. Linking my hands behind my back after brushing away the dirt on my pants, I turn away from Fili to watch others get back onto their horses. Shit, I forgot we had them. I frown before turning to Fili and - who had appeared without my notice - Kili. God - damn it, how the Hell is he so quiet?! Glancing between the two I seize the quiet moment to ask the question that has been burning in my mind since I had declared my refusal to share a pony with Fili any further.
"So, which one of you do I have the utmost pleasure to ride that pony with?" That was probably one of the kinkiest things I have said while here so far.
Fili lugs his bag over his shoulder before giving me a quiet shrug. "Not me for sure," Fili grunts in an annoyed and grouchy tone, "I was tempted to just throw you off of the pony too many times to for me count."
Chivalrous, my ass, I snort inwardly. I turn to Kili, letting a sweet smile appearing on my lips, my eyelashes batting as my hands knot together in a bid to seem much sweeter than I actually am. Kili lets a sigh bleed past his lips as if it is the most painful thing he has ever had to do. "Fine, I guess I'll have to let you share with me."
I let out a little happy squeal before letting a smile explode across my face. "Awesome! We're going to be like the three musketeers! Except there's only two of us. And I'm a girl. Wow that did not turn out as I hoped it had."
The two Dwarves share a look, one I can only describe as amused and confused.
I like the rain.
I like it when I'm in bed on a drowsy Sunday morning with a cup of coffee in my hands.
I like it when I'm trying to get to sleep at night.
Not when I'm actually out in the rain, getting soaked to the bone. It's like little bullets are slamming their way repeatedly into me but never breaking the skin and not drawing blood. It's like I'm drowning with the constancy of the down - pour.
I didn't have a cloak like the others so, unlike the hair perfect Dwarves, my hair ends up being plastered to my cheeks and my nose dripped with water every few seconds. I feel like I'm just going to fall off of the horse any moment. With my arms wrapped very tightly around Kili's waist, I rest my forehead on his back; teeth chattering, I focus on his warmth due to the fact I'm frozen everywhere. I can't feel my fucking toes! If I'm holding on too tightly, Kili doesn't say anything in protest. I keep my eyes closed, hoping that maybe I can sleep through the rain but it's no use. Whatever warmth Kili has for himself, it disappears too soon before I can soak it in; my feet dangle helplessly without being placed in stirrups. I'm flush against Kili, hoping that I wouldn't fall off the horse and be left behind in the rain and mud. I move my head, placing my cheek against the space between his shoulder blades, ignoring the feel of rain drops falling on my face and catching on my eyelashes. The air is fresh and cool, my breath misting and fogging up to the sky before I turn my face back to being buried into Kili's back, breathing in the scent of tobacco, the clear mountain air, sweat and the sweet tinge of the rain.
Never thought that that would be my new favourite smell.
Ever.
Yeah, because that's not creepy in any way whatsoever.
"I feel like I'm going to drown," I croak through the silence. Everyone has the blues due to the rain; Bofur looks miffed off due to the fact he can't light his pipe (after trying numerous times); Bilbo looks as cold and drenched as I am - if not more; Bombur complains about the weather to his cousin, Bifur, under his breath.
"It shall end," Kili all but whispers to me, as though he's afraid to shatter the silence, "all things must end." That was so deep, man.
In response, I grunt and shuffle closer so that it's like Kili and I are occupying the same space even though I know it to be very impossible. I could really go for a cup of hot chocolate with marsh - mellows right now . . .
"Yeah, yeah," I murmur, "whatever, Shakespeare - "
"What?"
" - now onto more important things," I continue as though I hadn't heard him interrupt me. My voice is low enough for only Kili to hear me so I briefly thank the Heavens or whatever God they have for the rain. I feel his torso shift slightly turning towards me and I place my chin on his shoulder so that I know he can feel my breath on his jaw. He drops his eyes to mine as if to indicate that he was listening to me. "What's the deal with reclaiming this lonely mountain? Like, I don't understand; why now? What does it have to do with you guys? And, most importantly, why is it lonely? This - This all causes me to have a migraine."
We're close, closer than I had been with Fili when I was forced to share a saddle with him. I roll my head slightly so that now my cheek is on his shoulder, allowing me a better view of the side of Kili's face. The shadow of facial hair is darker today, less sparse and giving him a sharper jaw. The hood of his cloak shields most of him from my view, but I watch as raindrops roll from his forehead, along the curve of his nose before it drips off. The tip of his nose is frosted with pink from the cold and I can see a dusting of red on his cheeks as his breath fogs in the air, swirling up. His eye lashes are long, longer than mine the lucky duck, and I'm almost mesmerised by them so when he speaks, it takes me from my daze.
"It has everything to do with us," Kili says in a hushed tone. I notice he's skipped over my first question. "We - Fili and I - are Thorin's heirs."
Wait.
What?!
Thorin is a king?!
More importantly - Kili . . . is a prince?!
And the award for being the Slowest Person Ever to Piece Things Together goes to . . .
He's... royalty? Suddenly, the fact I'm holding rather very tightly on to him becomes all too apparent and I want to let go; that pedestal I thought I was imagining was now made out of marble, placing him far too high for me to reach. I loosen my grip on Kili a bit as I feel very aware about the fact that he's royalty and I'm, I guess, a commoner.
I sigh inwardly; there goes my chance I had - right out the window. Ha, as if you even had half a chance!
"O - Oh," I chatter, my teeth vibrating as I wind my fingers together. "Well, um, that's just - "
"Here, Gandalf!" One of the Dwarves (I think it was Dori) calls from his pony in a polite and question tone as he inclines his head towards the rain that is pissing from the Heavens. Haven't any one them heard that it's rude to interrupt someone when they're - "Can't you do something about this deluge?!"
I roll my eyes at his question; Gandalf isn't going to always wave his hand and make the sun come out just for this lot. And Gandalf, as it appears, seems to agree with me as he replies with, "It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done! If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard!"
Gandalf: 1, Dwarves: 0.
"Ooooh," I intervene, dragging the 'o' out.
Everyone ignores me.
Naturally.
I let out a small raspberry before I take my chin from its position on Kili's shoulder, placing space between us yet again.
"Are there any?" Bilbo asks with his teeth chattering very loudly. That's . . . actually a great question, Bilbo. I raise my eyebrows at Gandalf's back as I wait to hear his answer.
"What?"
"Wizards, I mean," Bilbo clarifies as he shifts in his saddle. I scrunch my nose up as I hear the squelching sounds his clothes make due to the rain. EW.
"There are five of us," Gandalf explains, "the greatest of our order is Saruman the White - " Yes, because that doesn't sound the least bit evil " - Then there are the two blue wizards - "
Gandalf stops short of his statement before letting out a gust of air. "Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names?"
Your age is peeking through there, old man, I think, sniggering cheekily. Fili casts me an odd look from his horse but I ignore him; they're going to have to get used to the fact I make random comments in my head that I just have to laugh at.
"And the fifth?" Bilbo prompts as Gandalf enters a thought - filled silence.
"Well, that would be Radagast the Brown!"
Jesus, what is with all these weird names? Why couldn't they just call their kids something normal like, I don't know, Bob?
"And is he a great wizard?" Bilbo continues. "Or is he more like . . . you?"
Just what on Earth are you hinting at Bilbo? Hm? You're just a bundle of niceties today, aren't you?
Gandalf considers Bilbo's words for a moment before answering his question. "I happen to think he's a very great wizard. In his own way," and there it is; the usual kind of 'but', "He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east and good thing to! For always evil will look to find a foot - hold in this world."
Well, isn't that smashing to hear? Always great to know some loony is looking after our forests and our animals.
After the rude comments in my head towards the conversation stopped, the rain clears up (not straight away, mind you, maybe after three or so hours of wondering if there's a rash on the inside of my legs by now). I look up at the sky and frown; this place was very bipolar. We leave the muddy forest into clean (and cold) open air. My teeth chattered more profusely as I regained my tight hold on Kili.
I really could go with that cup of hot chocolate now . . .
"Well, I'm stumped."
Having decided to stop for the night, the whole company all set off to find the softest patch of grass to claim in order to sleep in later while Thorin and Gandalf go off to the side, entering a broken and battered house and slowly entering a heated argument about whatever they have to fight about; with Thorin being Thorin, I guess it could be absolutely anything.
I sit behind Kili in my almost dried yet moist and damp clothes as I place both hands on my hips, trying to decide on how to get off of the horse. Kili still sits in front of me, turning his body as though amused to watch me calculate on how to do this simple task, none too ready to even bother to help.
"You could just jump off," Kili suggests and I roll my eyes; Yeah, and end up breaking my nose and getting a mouthful of the mud. No thanks.
"Smart one, Kili," I say sarcastically, "gosh, why didn't I think of that?"
I shuffle my weight as I try to ignore the ache that's coming from my thighs and the annoyance of the wet underwear. Thank God I have a spare in my bag or else I would have had to gone commando. Something I really didn't fancy doing in the company of fourteen guys. Kili gives a shrug but doesn't offer another obvious suggestion.
" - To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!" Gandalf puffs as he storms away. What crawled up his ass and died?
"And who's that?" Bilbo inquires, looking wide - eyed and quite worried over the angry wizard who pushes past the others.
"Myself, Mister Baggins!" Gandalf barks over his shoulder.
"Love you too, Gandalf!" I holler after him but, alas, he ignores my quip. I am most definitely feeling the love here. I stick my tongue out the corner of my mouth as I begin think about how to get down, all the while Kili feels very comfortable in having front row seats in my upcoming failure. Carefully, I success in lifting my right leg very slowly (or so I believed) on the same side of the other. Only problem I kind of go a tiny bit too fast for my frozen and dead leg and I end up getting it caught with Kili's waist and we both get flung off of the pony.
"Fuck!"
"What - !"
You can probably guess which one of us said which.
I yelp as my shoulder meets with the ground and I roll onto my stomach, getting a mouthful of dirt, grass and my hair.
"Bleurgh!" I pull myself up to my knees as I pull the long, blonde strands of hair from my mouth while spitting out the excess dirt and green grass.
Kili is lying beside me on his back, glaring at me. I glare back but more playfully. I can see he's fighting the smile on the edge of his lips.
"You could just jump off," I mimic Kili's earlier words in a high - pitched voice. He scoffs at my words. We're still lying down, our pony hitting its hoof on the ground, kicking up dirt as the rest of the group move around us. I feel as if we're in our own little bubble, lying on the green grass looking at each other with growing goofy smiles.
"I didn't mean for you take me with you," Kili shoots back, equally sarcastic. Tough shit, Mr I'm Royalty And Forgot To Tell You, you're stuck with me. With a roll of my eyes towards the stretching sky, I snort as I get to my feet, hands brushing the dirt off of my knees and palms. I look up to the pale sky, noticing about how quickly the sun sets. I let out a puff of air as I stretch my arms over my head, taking a deep breath of the clean, pollution - free air.
"Thank you for your great help," Kili bites sarcastically, getting to his own feet as he brushes away the grass and taking his hair away from his face. I give him a shrug as I take the strap of my messenger bag and slowly slip it over my head so that it rests lazily on my shoulder, feeling as though it's going to fall off any second.
"I'm pretty sure you can manage to get to your feet," I tell Kili as I quickly scuttle around him to walk towards to the camp ready to just collapse on the ground and fall into a deep coma - like slumber. I toddle over near the out skirts of the camp and fall down onto my ass, resting my bag on my crossed legs.
"Um, excuse me? M - Miss Libby?"
I look up to the source of the timid voice, seeing a very awkward Bilbo stand in front of me in his still damp clothes. I instantly crack a smile at the sight of the Hobbit.
"Hey, Bilbo," I chirp. "Anything I can help you with?"
The Hobbit turns a dusty red as he slowly sits down in front of me with his legs in the same fashion as mine. "I was just wondering if . . . well, if you would - you don't have to - it's just that I . . . well . . . "
I smile softly before I lean forward, placing a kind hand on Bilbo's knee. "Spit it out before I slap you, Bilbo."
Letting out a huff, Bilbo refuses to meet my eyes. "Iwaswonderingifyouwouldhelpmetofitin."
I blink at the sentence the Hobbit said in a single breath. "Huh?"
"I was wondering . . . if you would help me . . . well, fit in with the others," Bilbo clarifies through a stammer. He reaches a hand up to scratch the back of his mop of soft curls. I felt my nose scrunch up at his request; me? Help someone fit in? That's probably the one thing (scratch that: one of a billion things) I don't know how to do and can't do.
"I think you're asking the wrong person," I sigh deeply as I curl my hands together while I watch Bombur begin to make the food over a new fire. They didn't wast eany time, did they? "Believe me when I say this Bilbo, but I have no idea how to fit in with people."
"But you get on with them all," Bilbo says, blinking, "you fit in with them all - granted mostly with Fili and Kili but still . . . "
I ponder on Bilbo words; I hadn't really thought about fitting in. I'm more worried on how I'm actually going to get home (which by now seems more and more impossible). I let out a letting hum as I shrug my shoulders again. "I guess it just . . . happened," I mumble, "I'm not usually good at those sorts of things."
Bilbo glances up at the sky with the sun already have set and the stars have started to come out. He furrows his eyebrows together - probably in worry or confusion, maybe both. "He's been gone a long time," Bilbo announces.
"Who?" Bofur pipes up from the fire, pouring some of the soup into one of the two wooden bowls they brought along with them.
"Gandalf," Bilbo pressures as he gets to his feet. Bofur offers a shrug as he pours more of the soup into the other bowl.
"He's a wizard," Bofur explains, "he does as he chooses. 'Ere, do us a favour and take this to the lads," Bofur says before handing Bilbo the two hot bowls of soup. Looking for an excuse to not be left alone and be as awkward as I could have been, I jump to my own feet, "I'll help."
Yes, because Bilbo is having such trouble with carrying two bowls that he needs help.
I lurch forward and take one of the bowls in my hand and walk past Bofur just as he hits Bombur (who was in the middle of taking another helping) with the ladle lightly and muttering, "Stop it; You've had enough!"
Bilbo toddles after me as I walk to find Fili and Kili, listening to the source of the slight upset whinnying from the horses. Dear Lord, what have they done now?
Bilbo over takes me with his eyes glued to the forest floor and the bowl of soup so he doesn't spill. I start to frown, slowing my pace, as I watch Fili and Kili's stiff backs; something is most defiantly wrong. Bilbo doesn't notice this and pushes past a branch which whips back to hit me in the face.
"Ow! Fuck!" I curse, growling as I bend down under the branch and glaring at the Hobbit who hasn't looked back or even apologised. I'm so going to get him back for that, especially when he least expects it.
I glare daggers at the back of the Hobbit, who is standing in the middle and looking between the two Prince Dwarves who look like they're about to have a stroke. I make my way to stand beside Fili as I place a hand on my hip, holding the soup out. If he's not going to take it . . .
"What's the matter?" Bilbo asks slowly.
"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies," Kili says very quickly, looking like he's about to start hyperventilating any minute. I raise my eyebrows silently.
"I'm sensing a 'but' coming," I mutter as I try to stop myself giggling at my very badly worded sentence. Mature, Libby, very mature.
"Only we've encountered . . . a slight problem," Fili explains as he turns his torso towards a very confused Bilbo. I feel myself frown as I turn towards the ponies that are grazing on the grass. Hold on . . .
"We had sixteen."
"Now there's fourteen."
I blink at the news, trying to process it. "Wait . . . so you two, also known as Fili and Kili, also known as Princes, also known as Thorin nephews," I begin airily, moving to stand in front the three as I gesture between the both of the Dwarves with the bowl of soup. Their eyes snap to me as I continue to finish my sentence. "Just fucked up? And you fucked up big time?"
"Well," Kili splutters slightly.
Pause.
"Oh my God!" I start to feel a smile break across my features as a lightly laugh escapes me. "This is brilliant!"
"Excuse me?" Kili frowns, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring slightly at me. "How, in any case, is this brilliant?"
"Because I had no part in this! Like, I didn't fuck up and I always fuck shit up!" I chortle, feeling very happy despite the situation. I pass the bowl of soup into Bilbo's awaiting hand as I clasp mine together and turn to the sky. "Dear Lord, I don't know if you hear me, but I just want to say thanks for not getting me involved in this crap. Amen!"
"Is she hallucinating?" I hear Fili mutter to his brother as I turn to face them, a smirk on my face.
"C'mon, let's see which ones you two dopes lost," I chime as I face the horses, approaching them with Fili and Kili stepping after me. Huh, so there are fourteen . . .
"You seem a bit too happy about this," Kili mutters to me, stepping in line with me. I look at him for a minute before rolling my shoulders slightly, reaching up to scratch the back of my neck.
"I told you," I say through slightly gritted teeth. "I usually fuck things up and this is probably one thing that - even though I could have fucked it up - I didn't actually fuck up."
"You can't be that bad," Kili tries to reassures me awkwardly.
"Believe me," I mutter, "I am."
"I don't think you are," Kili says, though with more confidence. "You probably just have bad luck."
I'm so close to bursting out into laughter and sobs at the same time. Oh, Kili, you don't know the half of it. "You could say that. All I ever seem to have is bad luck with me for the past while with this journey."
He doesn't reply and I realise he's not walking beside me; I stop my steps and turn, to see Kili watching me with some rather wide eyes, as if he's on the edge of saying something but it's taking every bone in his body to not let the words spill past his lips. I turn completely towards Kili, eyebrows knitting together. "You okay there, Kili?"
"Do you... do you regret coming along with... us?" No longer is his voice sturdy, but it is unsure and shaky, as if I've kicked him in the knee. He's even looking hurt, too. I blink at his words before I realise what I had said previously and how he had interpreted it - and more importantly, what he was really asking. A sharp inhale scraped past my lips as my eyes widen.
"What? No!" I defend, closing the space between us so that I can reach my hand out to place it on the crook of his elbow. "Of course not! I could never regret coming on this quest, especially if I got to meet you!"
My teeth clamp on my tongue and the pain is instant as I wince at the words that slipped out. My green eyes drop their gaze with Kili's brown eyes, the grip of my hand loosens and I let go, letting it fall back to my side. But before it can drop, I feel something brush over the skin of my hand, gripping it. My eyes flash to see it's Kili's hand and he's holding my own, his pinky and ring ringer wrapping around my index and middle finger. I stare at it, before turning my shocked stare to Kili's face but he's refusing to meet my eyes, locked on to out interconnected hands. My cheeks are burning again and my heart is running in my chest. I can barely breathe and I wonder if he knows how badly he's affecting me.
"I..." he speaks, voice soft and feathery, as if too afraid to let it carry on the air to anyone else's ears but my own. "I'm glad to have met you too."
Here lies Libby Fernwright; cause of death: this guy making me feel too happy and gloopy inside.
I must have been staring at him too hard because he turns his gaze away from our hands, meeting my eyes with a look of... fondness? Where has all the air gone? Why can't I breathe? I didn't even realise how close we were until we're interrupted.
"Oi!" Both Kili and I turn to see a none - too pleased Fili standing not too far off with his arms over his chest. "Will you two quit your flirting and tell me which of the horses are missing?!" Fili yells, slightly annoyed at us. Instantly, I turn a bright red while Kili steps away from me, our hands tearing from one another with the moment definitely ruined and glares furiously at his brother. Oh my god, how long had he been standing there?! If I could die right now, that would be great.
"We were not flirting!" I all but shriek at Fili like a banshee but he just raises an eyebrow before turning his focus to his brother.
"Daisy and Bungle are missing," Kili clarifies in a steely calm tone.
"Oh," Bilbo speaks up for the first time in a few minutes, "That's not good. That's not, uh, good at all." Really, Bilbo? What gave it away? "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"
"Er, no," Fili says quite sheepishly, "Best not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to come into it."
Ah, so Fili and Kili are scared of uncle dearest, I conclude (not that I blame them since I'm scared shitless of him too) while Bilbo looks as though he really didn't want to get involved. With Thorin's temper, I wouldn't want to either. Turning my gaze from where I'm standing as I wonder what they're looking at, I can clearly see a knocked down tree. Jesus Christ, what kind of things are here that can knock a tree right up from its roots? I feel my mouth fall open at the site of the upturned roots.
"Uh, well, it looks as if something big uprooted these trees." Big? Really? Wow,I would never have guessed it. I would have thought a mouse managed to do that. I step closer towards the wreckage, hunching down onto my knees as I tap my chin slightly, and feeling very much like Sherlock Holmes.
"That was our thinking," Fili agrees as he, too, examines the tree but more thoroughly; I'm just kind of sitting here gazing off.
"Something very big," Bilbo continues, "And possibly quite dangerous."
"That's brilliant detective work, Watson," I announce as I get to my feet and grin at Bilbo who, in turn, ignores me.
"Wait!" Fili says abruptly, crouching down low. "There's a light over there!" Fili gestures over to Kili, who crouches down low to join his brother's side. I turn to Bilbo who's looking very confused and still holding the bowls of soup.
"Come along, Watson!" I hiss in a whisper as I follow Fili and Kili, bending on my knees and feeling like I'm in Mission Impossible.
As I hum the theme tune to Mission Impossible under my breath quietly, I make my way to squeeze beside Kili and I peer over the log, eyes narrowing as I did, indeed, see a flicker of light. That's when I hear it; the laughter. It reminds me of a mixture of the normal evil kind of laughter and the other evil kind of laughter that I can only describe as Dolores Umbridge.
"What is it?" Bilbo questions in a high pitched voice.
Glancing a look with Fili, Kili answers Bilbo's question with one word. "Trolls."
Nope, nope, nope; I am done. I am not doing this shit.
Along with the others, I get to my feet, only I go to run the other direction before I hear Fili hiss my name. Cursing, I go and hobble after them as I try to calm my racing mind at the fact that trolls actually exist; and I doubt it's like one of the troll dolls with the colourful hair and shiz.
I look back in time to see Bilbo grab the soup. Good to know where his priorities lie when he could be attack by a troll.
"Shit, that's it. I am done, man," I comment under my breath as I drop low to the ground, not wanting to hear the sickening laughter that is making my stomach churn. "Fuck this; I'm going back," I announce to the three men. Just as I move to my feet, a hand clamps around my wrist and pulls me down again. I land down onto something soft and warm; before I can let out a squawk a palm is slapped over my mouth.
"Quiet!" Kili hisses in my ear, turning my head slightly so I can see something, indeed, big and grey bumble past us with two more ponies in either arm. The smell that attacks my nostrils makes me want to gag and vomit up all food that's left sitting in my stomach. I ignore the blush creeping up on me when I realise I'm between Kili's legs.
Cue internal fangirling.
I feel Kili's arm wrap around my waist and draw me nearer as the - what I assume is - troll stomps past us with the horses whinnying unhappily at being in the arms of the creature.
I turn my face in slightly towards Kili's chest as I resist the urge to vomit; not really attractive to barf all over a hot guy now, is it?
"They've got Myrtle and Minty!" Bilbo whisper - shouts at us. "We have to do something."
When Kili's grip on me slackens a bit I instantly pull away to slunk to the ground as I try to ignore the horrid, putrid smell that is lingering in the air. From the corner of my eye, I can see Kili and Fili exchange looks with a mischievous glint in their eyes. That's not good . . .
"Yes!" Kili says enthusiastically, "You should! Mountain trolls are so stupid and you're so small - " Bilbo's eyes widen when he begins to pick up on what Kili is insinuating, waggling his fingers " - They'll never see you!" Kili insists, reaching forward to grab one of the bowls of soup that Bilbo is still carrying. "It'll be perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you - "
"If you run into trouble," Fili interjects as he stands to his feet as well and takes the one remaining bowl of soup as he urges Bilbo forward towards the source of the horrible laughter. "Hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl - " With that Fili pushes the Hobbit along over the rocks towards the trolls.
They're not just going to leave him there, are they?! My God, even I know that's a horrible idea! I start to chew my lip as Kili grabs my forearm and begins to pull me along. "Wait, what you are doing?!" I inquire in a panicked voice.
"We have to go back to tell Thorin what has happened," Fili answers as they begin to tug me along. No way am I leaving Bilbo to practically die! Oh, so now I'm suddenly some big hero? I hesitate, torn between wanting to run far, far away from the trolls and the thought of poor, small Bilbo being left to defend for himself.
"Uh, why don't I stay here?" I suggest in a weak voice. Both brothers stop and turn to look at me. "I mean, you know, keep updates on Bilbo and help him if I can and all that jazz."
Kili shakes his head at my suggestion, as though it is ludicrous. "No. absolutely not."
I cross my arms over my chest, having tugged my arm away from him, and glare at him with my eyes narrowing. "I didn't ask for your input. I am staying here and I am going to help Bilbo." Having been told not to do something, only makes me more determined to go through with it. I mean, there's was more of a chance that I'd screw things up rather than help, but no way in Hell was I going to follow orders.
"And what, die?" Kili scoffs as he mimics my standing position though, I must admit, he does it far better. Damn.
"You didn't have much trouble pushing Bilbo along to 'die'," I almost growl as I jut my chin out before tearing my eyes away from Kili's and turning them towards the eldest. "I promise, I won't try to interfere or anything. Cross my heart." I make an X over my chest as I plead Fili with my eyes. I can see him practically breaking at my request. With a grunt, he bends down and takes out a knife from his boot before thrusting it into my hand.
"Just in case," He says before turning to his brother (who looks quite livid might I add. Oops.). "Come, we have to tell Thorin."
Kili's eyes flash to me but I turn my back on the both of them and creep my way to crouch down behind the log that we were at before. I hear their feet cracking twigs on the forest floor before all is silent. Thought, I'm pretty sure I can hear the distant voices of the brothers arguing.
"Stay calm, Libby," I chide myself as I hold the hilt of the dagger in both of my shaking hands, "the big bad troll thing won't eat you; you're too bitter. Just keep calm and - "
I hear a very loud shriek and I yelp; oh God, he's in trouble!
"What do I do? What do I do?" I begin to hyperventilate as I run my hand in my rats' nest of a hair. Glancing up at the source of the light, I take a deep breath before breaking out into a run, smashing through the canopy and feeling the nicks on my skin due to the thorns that scratch at my skin. What am I doing?! Just what the actual fuck am I doing?!
I have no time to answer myself because, sure enough, I break through the bushes and, for a brief second I am greeted with the lovely site of Bilbo covered in (EW, gross!) snot, then I smack into the Hobbit. I fall back onto the floor with the dagger flying out of my hand as Bilbo lands on top of me. Instantly, I'm winded as I start to heave.
"God damn it Bilbo!" I whine as I push him off of me. I crawl on my hands and knees towards the dagger Fili gave me (I can't believe I've only had it for five minutes and I've already lost it) before a big, massive foot stomps down right in front of me. And I'm telling you, it didn't exactly smell like Fabreeze.
"Shit!" I squeak; jumping back so I land on my arms and my eyes trail up to meet the crosses eyed troll's. Up close, the need to retch was becoming more prominent. I clamp a hand over my mouth as my eyes begin to water due to the rancid stink that omits from the troll.
"Fuckin' Hell," I gag, "hasn't anyone here ever heard of deodorant?"
"Oh, look," the troll says sounding very, ah, special, "a lady."
I get to my feet, backing away as I laugh awkwardly. "I wouldn't call myself a lady, mate, more like just some person what got stuck with a vagina and tits."
"I do love the taste of lady," The special sounding one said as his had lurches forward to grab me. With a yelp, I duck down and duck between its (s'cuse me while I vomit) legs and I dive forward to grab the dagger. Ignoring the pain of impact I pick it up and hold it in my shaking hands as the three trolls begin to box me in with evil looks on their faces.(Three? Really? There just has to be three? Wait, why is one of them wearing an apron . . .?)
" 'Aven't 'ad the taste o' woman flesh in a while," the one with the apron sniggers as he bats a fucking ladle in his hand. My eyes widen when I realise: I AM WOMAN FLESH. "I can't wait to eat you."
"You know," I shudder, "that means something entirely different from where I'm from; though they usually say 'eat you out' not just 'eat you'. Same difference, I suppose." Did I just actually say that? Oh dear Lord, what is wrong with me?! Oh, don't open that door.
"The las' one was jus' as annoying," another one grunts, " 'E wouldn' shu' up 'bout cookin' 'im in an oven."
"I'm pre'y sure 'e said to cook 'im evenly," the special sounding one interjects.
I feel my eyes widen as I catch onto their words. The last one? There was someone like me here? Someone from where I'm from? From the corner of my eye I can see Bilbo trying to undo the knots of the ropes from where the horses are being kept. I need to buy him more time . . .
"Bet he wasn't much fun, was he?" I laugh shakingly, tightening my grip on the dagger. "It's always fun to play with your food!"
"She's righ'!" The special sounding one slithered, drool dribbling from his mouth. That's attractive, I cringe. "All 'e did was talk 'bout a Hannibal guy! Ne'er shu' 'is trap! This one could be some right fun!"
My skin crawls at what he says and I swallow my vomit as I let out another loose laugh. Keep calm, Libby. "That sucks, man. Me? I'd probably give you tips on how to cook me!" Just digging yourself deeper, Libby!
"Oi!" the other one who spoke before, "Wha's he doin'?"
All of the three turn around to catch Bilbo undoing the knots and the horses quickly gallop off. Freezing like a deer in headlights, Bilbo's eyes widen before they meet mine with one clear message: run.
"You two couldn' 'ave jus' shu' it and grab 'er?!" The - what I am assuming is - cook roars in outrage at the both of them.
"Run, Bilbo!" I shout as I - seizing the moment of the distracted trolls - jab the dagger into the heel of the special sounding one. He screeches in pain as I quickly pull it out and dart between his legs to grab a hold of Bilbo's arm.
We're not even three feet away when Bilbo is ripped away from me and my feet are no longer touching the ground. The dagger falls from my grip as the special sounding troll holds me in his grip. I start to gag as I see his face closer; he truly is one ugly son of a bitch.
"Are there any more o' you li'le fellas hidin' where you shouldn'?" the troll holding a knife inquires.
I wriggle in the grasp of the troll holding me but it only results in him tightening his grip. I gasp at the pain that aches in my ribs.
"No," Bilbo shakes his head, "just me - well, us."
" 'E's lying!" the troll holding me almost gasps in his high pitched voice and tightens his grip further on me.
"Ow! Dude!" I whine but, alas, I'm ignored.
"No! I'm not!" Bilbo reassures desperately.
" 'Old 'is toes o'er the fire!" the high pitched trolls says sadistically. "Make 'im squeal!"
Quite suddenly, the bushes rustle and out pops Kili with a grin on his face. Briefly his eyes meet my wide ones and the grin slightly slips from his face. The pain in my ribs start to become more prominent and a silent gasp escapes past my lips, making me tear my eyes away from Kili's.
"Drop him!" O - o - o - oh, he's sounds pissed.
"You wha'?" the troll holding the knife says, almost offended.
"I said," Kili smirks as he twirls his sword slightly in a flourish, sounding very confident. "Drop him." What am I? Just some unknown cousin? Ew, I hope not.
I'm quite surprised when they actually do drop Bilbo; well, drop him onto Kili. But still, drop him nonetheless. Before I can do much myself, the troll holding me throws me to the ground except I don't land on Kili; just the hardness of the ground and getting a mouthful of dead leaves. I roll onto my back with a groan as the rest of the Dwarves surge forward in a battle cry. I get to my feet while wrapping an arm around me; since when has it been hard to breath?
Dodging the bodies of the Dwarves and avoiding getting squished by the trolls, I look around for my dagger. Kicking the leaves around and breathing heavily while ignoring the pain, I am acutely aware of the fighting behind me.
"Come on, come on, come on," I say under my breath, the air ripping at my throat. I raise my eyes to see something glint in not three feet in front of me. "Bingo!" I jump forward and, as I'm about to take it in my hand, something grabs me from behind and I'm picked up by one of the trolls again.
"Oh for fucks' sake," I groan as the high - pitched trolls holds me a bit too tight for my liking. Pain spikes in my chest again and I let out a yelp. I glare at Mr Special Face with my eyes narrowing. "Can you, like, fucking not hold me so tight?"
"Lay down your arms or we'll rip 'is off!" Oh, he looks too pleased at his play of words.
I look around to see Bilbo being held by the cook and the other troll, each of them taking one arm and leg. My heart lurches in my chest as I cry out, "Bilbo!"
"Shu' it!" Mr. Special Face growls and squeezes me. I gasp in pain and begin to imagine his very slow and very painful death.
I stare at the group of Dwarves with my teary eyes; Thorin glances at Bilbo then me then back to Bilbo again. Grudgingly, he throws his sword to the ground and Kili soon follows, looking more pissed off than I have ever seen him. Ori even throws his sling shot to the ground.
"Stick 'im in the stacks!" The cook orders gleefully. " 'Cept 'er. Take 'er clothes off and tie 'er up!"
My eyes widen as I glance at the very shocked Dwarves and back to the cook. "You what?!"
Thanks for reading!
Also, sorry if Libby seems a bit . . . snarky and bitchy in this chapter.
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