Hey guys! Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter! I couldn't wait to update again! I have no idea why but I just love this chapter!
Onwards with the next chapter!
*edited January 2018
Chapter Eight: Naked and Unarmed
"You know, I usually get to know a guy before he takes my clothes off. I don't know about the rest of you guys but I think being a cannibal is a huge turn off."
In nothing else but my bra, underwear and my converse shoes, I begin to make comments as the three trolls (William, Bert and Tom - yes, that's their names; I would have thought it would have been something like Org or Grunk, something very caveman like and so not . . . English) continue to cook half of the Dwarves over a fire while the other half wriggle about in sacks off to the side. Most of the clothes and weapons are thrown to the front of a large opening in the side of a mountain; I can spot the torn remainders of my borrowed breeches and my top while bag remains safe back at our camp, probably to be there to gather dust if we don't find a way out of being eaten alive. The fear and terror is running through my body, making my heart run beneath my rib cage as my bladder almost threatens to give out. Despite my tugging on my confinements, the knots don't give up and I feel myself to be very close to tears.
They, as in the Dwarves, too are in (what I can only suppose is) their undergarments. Except it's not boxers or briefs; it kind of reminds me of a onesie. I smother my giggle at the thought of Thorin, of all people, in a pink bunny onesie.
None of the Dwarves look my way; in fact they do their best to ignore my presence (stupid Dwarves; they literally had a heart attack when they saw my knees). Unlike them, instead of being thrown into one of those foul smelling sacks or being over the fire, I'm left tied to the trunk of a tree with my arms behind my back, my nearly naked body on show for all. While at first being very self conscious and embarrassed, the realisation of my impending death pushes all those thoughts out. I had given up trying to get free when I got nasty rope burn around my wrist and a few leaves stuck in my knickers; talk about uncomfortable. For a brief moment, I find myself almost wishing it was me that was being turned over the spitting fire if it meant I wouldn't have been freezing as I was in my undies and bra.
"Usually, from where I'm from, they make you dinner," I continue to spew, "but here I guess it's quite literal in actually making you dinner."
The trolls ignore me as they turn the Dwarves over the fire, the cook - Bert - pokes them with a sharp looking knife. I can hear the displeased growls from Dwalin who curses the trolls in a muffled mumbled since I'm pretty sure his face is pushed into the back of Bofur. I think I heard him say knife up your ass or right up door brass but I'm definitely presuming it wasn't the latter. I let out a deep, pain - filled sigh as I continue my plan to annoy every single one of them as much as I can before I get eaten. If I'm going to die, I'm making sure I'm annoying them to death.
"Honestly, you know what, guys? This is probably the closest I'm getting to a date so I'm taking what I get," I sigh with faux sadness. "Say, Bert, what am I doing to be? The starter? Side - dish? Oh! Am I going to be the dessert?" I wiggle my eyebrows in order to get my innuendo across but it's ignored.
"Will she e'er shu' up?" William grumbles as he turns the shouting and cursing Dwarves. I pout as I glare slightly at the back of the troll. I shuffled my arms, feeling the rope burn into my wrist and the bark scratches my bicep. I click my tongue as I slump my back against the rough and pain inducing bark of the tree as I let my lower lip slip out in a pout.
"Aw, William, it hurts me in thinking we can't be friends before you, y'know, eat me. Say, you know what would get this party going? Some music!" I cough dramatically until my throat hurts slightly before telling them which song I'm deciding to break out into. "I'm going to teach you guys probably the greatest song from the early 2000's." I take a deep breath before I start to sing. "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me," I sang purposely very off tune, my voice pitching in the most awkward ways, in order to make my torture even worse. I hear the groans from the Dwarves and I think I even hear Bert cursing under breath.
"I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed! She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb," from off to the side I hear Oin muttering Thank Mahal, I don't have my ear trumpet. Oi, I'm not that bad! This only urges me to practically screech the lyrics higher, spurred on by the fact everyone was annoyed by my on purpose bad singing. "In the shape of an "L" on her forehead! Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming!"
"Lass, be quiet!" I hear Bofur cry from his place over the fire. I instantly stop singing and I raise my eyebrows at him, scoffing.
"This is like a really popular song from where I'm from; I'll be damned if you never hear it!" I curse as I look to the sky dramatically. "Now where was I? Oh, yeah." I let out another cough, taking a deep breath so as to fill my chest with air, before I continue my deliberate bad singing. "Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running! Didn't make sense not to live for fun! Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb! So much to do, so much to see! So what's wrong with taking the back streets! You'll never know if you don't go!" I do a scratch of a CD that I acutely remember that was played at the exact moment after singing those lyrics.
"Will no one shut her up? I feel like I'm going to go deaf!" Dwalin yells as he glares at me before averting his eyes when he sees my current attire. Wow, all these guys act like they're so tough but can't handle the sight of a girl's knees.
"I am trying to educate you in pop - culture, you swines!" I yell back. Talk about rude. Turning my head back, my hair swishes over my shoulder as I go on to resume. "You'll never shine if you don't glow!Hey now, you're an All Star get your game on, go play! Hey now, you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid! All that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break the mould!"
I stop mid - sentence as a frown makes its way onto my lips. From the corner of my eye I can see the Dwarves all exchange looks with each other at my awkward silence, obviously confused at my sudden decision to shut my mouth. Even the trolls have stopped their cooking of the Dwarves to spare me a look. I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth as I sigh deeply.
"I forget the rest of the lyrics," I say, obviously disappointed. And here I thought I could put on a little concert for them and have fun before being eaten. The realisation of the fact I am going to die by being eaten makes the fear spike again. I swallow the terror settling in my chest in order to keep my cool. If you keep a positive attitude, you can get a positive end result. Though it was becoming really hard to keep up a positive attitude what with being naked and unarmed. Naked and Unarmed, coming soon. "Shame really. I mean it's one of the greatest hits of my generation! Granted, the movie was disturbing for me; it gave me the heeby - jeebies throughout my whole entire childhood and even into my early stages of adolescence. Gosh darn that ogre gave me nightmares for as long as I can remember - "
"If she doesn' shu' 'er trap, I'm goin' to make me - self go deaf," Tom all but whimpers as spittle flies from his mouth. I scrunch my nose up in disgust. Gross. I sniffle as to fake my feelings being hurt.
"Oh, Tom," I pretend to pout, slipping my lower lip out, "and here I thought we could be friends before you got your wicked way with me - " I pause for moment at my choice of words. " - no sexual innuendos intended. I thought we could get to know each other before you, well, eat me."
I let out a raspberry as I shift my sitting position and I end up sitting Indian style with my legs crossed, dragging leaves and dirt with me but I ignore the feel of the forest floor brushing up against my bare skin. "Did you know that when I was younger I used to think the ocean and all water was God's pee? My poor mother had a horrid time of getting me to bathe. Also, fun fact, I was voted most like to be a homeless person in my school. Granted I can see why but it's just rude - "
"I've 'ad enough of 'er talkin'," William growls, "Thanks' to 'er distractin' us, dawn ain't far away an' I don' fancy bein' turned to stone!"
And just when I thought we could be friends!
Wait, did he say 'turned to stone'?
Oh, boy, isn't this a turn of events!
I look over to the Dwarves with my eyes wide as they all exchange glances with their eyes full of hope. I catch Bilbo's eyes and I feel a smirk spread across my features as I send him a nod. I can practically see the gears turning in his little head as he furrows his eyebrows together. Then a smile breaks across his mouth and I imagine a light bulb over his head lighting up. Now, if only I could manage to get out of these binds...
"Wait!" Bilbo shouts in a shrill voice as he wriggles in his sack, getting to his feet and jumping to get closer to the three trolls, who give him their undivided attention. "You are making a terrible mistake!"
I feel the urge to face palm at his choice of words; what gave it away Bilbo? When they stripped me down to my undies or the fact they're going to eat us?! He better have a good plan to getting us out of here...
"You can't reason with them! They're half - wits!" Dori cries out.
"Half - wits?!" Bofur hollers from his place over the fire. I'm confused as to why the trolls let him keep his hat on him. "What does that make us?"
"Correction!" I yell back to them. "What does that make you? I'm not the half - wit here! If anything I'm a Damsel in Distress with no Prince Charming to save me!" I tug uselessly at the rope that's binding me as I look desperately at whoever would cast me a glance. "Plus: I'm practically naked!"
"I mean with the, er, with the seasoning," Bilbo adds as he shuffles closer to where the Trolls were cooking their batch of Dwarves, ignoring mine and Bofur's interaction. William exchanges a glance with Bert - who looks about downright offended by now might I add.
"Wha' about the seasoning?" Bert snaps at the Hobbit. Bilbo pales ever so slightly but he lets out a gust of air as though he isn't bothered by the fact that he could be killed any moment.
"Have you smelt them - ?"
"Oi!" I interrupt, feeling very much offended. Sorry that you guys don't have any deodorant and never stop to wash yourself or your clothes. I swear the next time we find a river or lake I am demanding we stop and I am going to wash and I am going to scrub every inch of my body red to the point where it feels as if my skin would fall off. I refuse to become stinky and unhygienic!
" - You're going to need something stronger than sage when you plate this lot up," Bilbo adds with a slight bit of sarcasm mingled into his tone. I feel my mouth gape in shock at what he's saying; when I tried hinting to him to stall the stupid trolls I didn't mean that he should bloody fucking well give them tips on how to cook and eat us properly!
I start to growl as I tug at the rope that digs even more into my skin as I clench my jaw, glaring fiercely at the Hobbit. "I swear Bilbo if we die by this I am going to stick a knife so far up your ass - "
"Shu' it!" William barks at me as his buggy eyes narrow in distrust at Bilbo.
"Let the, uh, flugger - burglar - hobbit talk," insists Bert as he leans down to get closer to Bilbo, having had his interest captured. If I had known Bilbo is in cahoots with the monsters I wouldn't have encouraged him to try and 'save' us!
"Now, the secret to cooking Dwarf is . . . " Bilbo pauses in his sentence as he lets his words hang off. I start to look desperately around to try and find something to throw at the little traitor. I know my hands are tied (literally and figuratively what with being occupied with the fact a: I'm going to die and b: Bilbo is giving them tips on how to eat us) but I should still get credit for at least trying.
I lean forward (ignoring the twinge of pain in my shoulder blades) I stretch my foot out as I kick the dead and crunch leaves around uselessly, hoping to find a rock or something sharp. Come on, come on, come on . . .
"Yes? Tell us the secret!" Bert says, his voice going an octave higher in his glee. I kick a pile of leaves away and I see it - the glint of metal. I smile wickedly as I check to see if no one is watching - especially the trolls. Thank you Jesus! I praise, my hopes elated and a new strength surges through me. Slithering down onto my back - trying to act nonchalantly - I let my arms stretch in over my head as I reach my the toe of my converse out to try and drag the blade of the dagger Fili gave me closer towards me.
"I'm telling you the secret," Bilbo insists as a bead of sweat runs down his brow. "The secret is to - " He pauses again and I stop my little yoga thing to glance up to meet his eyes. My heart stops and encourage him on, having finally catching onto what he was doing. The blade slips under the sole of my shoe and I smile happily as I quickly bring it towards me.
Gotcha.
Freedom here I come!
I kick it under my ass as I grab the hilt in my slick palm. I start to cut away the burning rope, the angle that the knife is at hurting my wrist, when Bilbo speaks again. " - skin them first!"
What.
WHAT?!
This could either work or back fire on us - terribly.
The Dwarves let out roars of outrage as I stare at Bilbo with a roll of my eyes, finally understanding his intention unlike the others; idiots, honestly. I stick my tongue out the corner of my mouth as I manage to free my right hand. From over the fire I hear Dwalin threaten, I'll remember that! Tugging my right hand free I let the cold air nip at the red, raw flesh that stings.
"Wha' a load of rubbish!" William scoffs at the notion of having to skin them first as he turns the spitfire. Being too focused on cutting my bindings away, I ignore all conversation. Just a tiny bit more . . . "I've eaten plen'y o' Dwarves - boots an' all!"
"Yeah!" Tom agrees, his tongue darting out in a very unpleasant manner. "Scoff 'em I say! Nothin' be'er than a bi' o' raw Dwarf! Nice an' crunchy!"
My left hand tugs from the bindings and I grin at my freedom. I look up just in time to see William pick Bombur up (quite a large man who wriggles in his sack) and place him directly over his mouth. My heart is literally in my mouth as I freeze.
"N - Not that one!" Bilbo warns in a high pitched voice, causing both the troll and the Dwarf to look at him. Oh, God, what is he going to say now? "H - He's infected! He's got parasites in his . . . "Bilbo shakes his head a bit as his eyebrows knit together, "Tubes."
I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Tom lets out a very disgusted squeal (seriously? He's going to be picky over this? Jesus, even the cannibals here are weird) as he throws Bombur down onto the little pile of Dwarves - who groan in return as they're basically crushed by Bombur's excessive weight. I giggle inwardly as Kili tries to get Bombur's hair out of his mouth and wriggles endlessly from underneath the large Dwarf.
"In fact, they all have! They're all infested with parasites! It's all a very terrible business, I wouldn't risk it, really," Bilbo continues to drag out his word vomit as he shakes his head, almost acting disappointed the trolls couldn't eat the Dwarves. I'm quite impressed at Bilbo's word play, I must admit.
Something catches my eye as I look up to see - could it be? - A sliver of sunshine. My heart begins to beat erratically in my chest as I hope that Bilbo continues on with his charade. However, the Dwarves don't seem to be picking up on Bilbo's words.
"We don't have parasites!" Kili insists, shouting in the most offended tone I have ever heard him use. "You have parasites!"
I swear if we somehow miraculously live through this I am going to thumb you on the back of the head, Kili.
"Parasites?!" Oin gasps, also offended by the mere thought of it. "We do not - "
I watch as Thorin gives the group a swift kick and they all glance up at him. Thank God, he's the only one - apart from moi - who realises that Bilbo is actually trying to help.
Idiots.
You weren't any better, Libby.
Quiet, you.
I need to find the perfect opportunity to help the others; I can't do it now since I'm still in Tom's line of site and if he saw me try help the others escape or, God forbid, try to leg it (hey, I'm a coward; I'd rather be one for a minute than dead for the rest of my life) then he'd probably squish me just like that.
Instead I keep my arms behind me with a tight clasp on the hilt of the dagger, feeling the cold touch of the metal kissing my bare skin, I can see the sun getting higher and higher and I just hope and pray to whatever deities they have there that the trolls will be distracted long enough for them to be turned to stone.
"I've got parasites as big as my arm," Oin says hesitantly. Kili quickly catches on as he joins in.
"I've got one of the biggest parasites you've ever seen!" Kili chimes in. I cringe my nose; because that's attractive, Kili.
The other Dwarves join in as they all describe - in detail - their parasites. I swear, I am going to repress this memory so far in the back of my mind it'll just be a bad dream.
"An' wha' would you 'ave us do then?" William sneers as he lets go of the spit fire to walk closer to Bilbo in an accusing manner. "Le' 'em all go?"
Bilbo cocks his head to the side in a manner that suggests that letting us go isn't a bad idea. Bilbo inflates his cheeks, reminding me very much of a blow fish. "Well . . . "
"You think I don' know wha' you're up to?" William accuses as he jabs Bilbo with his thick finger, snarling angrily. "This li'le ferret is takin' us for fools!" William spits as he turns back to the spitfire.
"Ferret?!" Bilbo squeaks, offended.
"Fools?" Bert repeats as well.
"Wha' abou' 'er?"
Oh, shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!
All attention is drawn to me as my eyes widen. "Ha ha, what about me?" I say awkwardly.
Tom stalks towards me with his arms swinging by his side, a sinister smile on his ugly, rotten face.
"I didn' 'ear 'er talkin' 'bout any parasites! I say we jus' eat 'er an' be done with it!"
I let out a squeal as Tom takes me in his grasp (since I'm almost naked it feels a thousand times worse than before - the feel his him touching my skin made me want to jump into a bath of boiling, hot water). The ropes give way far too easily but he doesn't notice; I can hear the Dwarves begin to shout as I'm deposited upside down over Tom's mouth. The panic is surging and my heart rate accelerates, my breathing short and shallow. Realising this was one my only chance, I wiggle an arm free, taking the dagger I'm about to drive it through his skull or shove through his eye when I hear the most unlikely of people appear.
"The dawn will take you all!"
Oh Gandalf, how I love you and your dramatic entrances.
Tom turns his head away to see Gandalf's silhouette on a big massive boulder, the sun casting an eerie glow behind him. I turn my head and squint my eyes at the Wizard who looks pretty smug.
"Who's tha'?" William asks, looking very confused at the turn of events.
"No idea," Bert comments nonchalantly.
"Can we eat 'im too?" Tom asks gleefully, still holding me in his grip.
Suddenly raising his staff, Gandalf steps aside as he crashes the end of the stick to the rock as it splits right down the middle. The sunlight makes me hiss as I shut my eyes, shielding my sensitive pupils. The trolls let out pain filled hisses as they turn away from the sun. Tom hunches over and uses me as a shield to desperately stop the sun from turning his flesh to stone with his grip on me loosening dramatically. I turn away from the blinding and miss all the action and satisfaction of seeing my soon to be murderer turning to stone.
But it's too late and soon everything is silent.
"Well," I mutter, regaining my breath and relief flooding through my body, "that could have gone a lot better."
"Oh, get your foot out of my back!" Dwalin groans from his place over the fire.
I gulp when I realise how high I am up from the ground; no way would I be able to jump for the impact could get me stuck with a broken ankle. I start on wiggling myself free from the stone hand of the now frozen troll, which proves to be rather very difficult than I thought it to be. Using the upper body strength that I do not have whatsoever, I start pushing myself out from the rather loose grip, placing my butt on the troll's wrist before yanking my feet out, shivering at the air brushes across the skin of my legs. Goosebumps travel all down my arms and spine, hair standing as I perch myself on his hand with my legs hanging out on the edge; I rest my right elbow on my knees and use my palm to cradle my cheek. I stare down at the distance and work out on how to get down without dying; I could clamber down the troll's arm and down his body but even the mere thought makes me shudder in disgust. Knowing my horrendous luck, the damned creature would come alive again and gobble me up. The sun continues to rise and the rays brush over my shoulders, catching on my hair and giving me some much needed warmth.
A lot of the Dwarves from over the fire have freed themselves thanks to Gandalf (who has gone off to talk to Thorin - again) and the rest are dressing themselves and taking their weapons back, many of them are disgruntled over the events that have unfolded during the night. Believe me, I would be too. With the dagger still held firmly in my free palm, I bite my lip as I calculate on how to get down. I feel too exposed, too vulnerable what with my lack of clothes and rather pathetic weapon (sorry, Fili).
"Need help?" A voice from below calls out. Instantly I snap my eyes away from the dead forest floor to meet Kili's amused brown eyes. He's dressed in his normal clothes again (the sack he wore wasn't something I'd recommend for anyone to wear), looking quite chuffed for some reason I must say. A shit - eating grin is on his face as he stares up at me, not too bothered about my current attire unlike the other Dwarves. Or maybe he can't really see due to the blinding morning light and the angle (I really hope he can't get a view of me from beneath if you know what I mean).I shift my weight awkwardly, scoffing and I roll my eyes, though I'm positive he can't see. Pfft, I can totally jump down without any help. I don't need a guy's help.
"No, I'm sure I can manage," I say, puffing my chest out in pride as I push myself off from where I perched, not thinking the action through at all. A split second after doing so I instantly know this is a bad idea. "Shit!" I squeeze my eyes shut as the wind whips around me and whistle in my ears. I clutch the dagger tightly to my chest as my heart drops to my stomach. No wonder Mom calls me reckless . . .
Instead of landing on the very solid and cold ground, I'm suddenly caught by something warm and soft. The sudden stop in momentum has my heart skip a beat; the fuck just happened?
I'm very aware that I'm in a pair of strong and sturdy arms as they hold me bridal style, with one hand that supported my back and the other under my knees, cradling me close to Kili's chest (because who else could it have been? Honestly guys, think). My legs and arm sting from the impact and I feel as if the air has been knocked out of my lungs. Kili buckles briefly from my sudden weight but regains his footing before he can drop me or before he can fall. At the possibility of being dropped, my hands unwind from around the hilt of the dagger so that they can be latched around Kili's neck with my fingers lacing together at the back. This brings us closer together and I can feel the heat of his breath wash over my bare skin.
This reminds me way too much of those horrible scenes in a Disney princess movie where the Princess gets rescued by a prince - again.
Except in my case I'm not a pretty Princess - I'm a weird midget girl who has the worse sense of humour - ever, stinks of sweat and horse and is half naked. And instead of a Prince in shining armor I get a Prince Un-Charming who eats like a pig, teases me too much and really needs to bathe. I peek one eye open to see Kili's face very close to mine. My breathing falters in my throat as I feel our noses just about brush against each other. We're so close, in fact, that if I were to lean in just two centimetres our lips would about -
Stop getting distracted, Libby! You were about to be eaten not ten minutes ago! Stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him!
I see a dust of red grace Kili's cheeks as I smile cheekily. Don't make this anymore awkward than it is already, Libby.
"Well, I guess I was wrong," I say, gulping slightly as I stare into Kili's eyes. They're warm and soft, crinkled at the edges from how often he smiles. I can see the lightest dusting of freckles across his cheeks and I find myself wanting to count them and connect them like constellations. My hand even twitches to go and brush my fingers across his cheek but I stop myself before I can.
"About what?" he breathes, holding me very tight to his chest. The chill that had settled into my bones disappears like mist, replaced by warmth that is being stolen from Kili. Can I just, like, stay here please? I give a shrug before smiling sweetly at him.
"I guess do have a Prince Charming to save me," and there it is; the word vomit that's made everything very awkward and weird. Kili's eyes widen to saucers as his mouth parts slightly at my words. I want to hit myself in the face for saying such a thing and there's a lump in my throat as my cheeks begin to burn from embarrassment. It seems that all I've ever done since I've got here is blush from constant embarrassment or from simply just being around Kili. My palms begin to grow sweaty and my mouth is dry as we continue to hold eye contact and it takes every nerve in my body to turn away from his piercing gaze, my hand releasing its grip from behind Kili's neck to pat my saviour's chest affectionately. My grin widens even more when I feel his heart beat increase ever so slightly. Mine is beating like a hummingbird's wings in my constricting chest. I wonder if he can feel it, or hear it. It's pounding so loudly, he must be able to.
"Thanks dude!" I squeak in a slightly higher and breathy tone as I try to push the shyness that's threatening to burst any moment. My current lack of clothing is forgotten and so is the fact that we aren't alone.
"And just what do you two think you're doing?" I hear the shocked voice of Balin ask from behind us. Not flirting, that's what. Thanks for the cock block, dude.
Both of us freeze, stiffening at being caught out by the others. Kili turns around - with me still in his arms and still in my underwear, mind you - to see that nearly all of the Dwarves - save Thorin, thank goodness - are looking at us with disapproval in their eyes (apart from Fili who is looking a bit too happy and smug than I would have expected him to be. I mean, his brother is holding a practically naked woman and, from my very limited knowledge about, well, where ever I am, that's a very big no - no here. I could probably be hanged for just showing my ankle in public).
However, when they see the state I'm in, many advert their eyes. Oh come on! It's not like they've never seen a pair of legs and arms or even a stomach before! Seriously, I'm worried for them; if they saw girls wearing shorts and crop tops they'd just keel over and die of shock. For a second, everyone is silent, with me and Kili remaining as we are, close and him holding me, and in shock from being discovered as we were. Well, it wasn't as if we knew we were alone...
At being caught out, I squeal and pull myself away from Kili. He instantly loosens his grip at my sudden action and the only thing that I land on is the ground this time, straight on my ass. Ignoring the jolt of pain that explodes from my ass I get to my feet and do my best to cover up my very bare body, arms crossing over my chest as my body grows cold again.
I know for a fact that when the Trolls took my clothes off they had been careless and - if I peek over Balin's shoulder - I can see the shredded remains of Bilbo's breeches and the only clothes that reminded me off home.
"Oh, um, hi," I splutter as I scratch the back of my head, edging myself ever so slightly behind Kili to escape the burning gazes of the Dwarves. It doesn't work. Kili is still in shock and stands still with his eyes wide. Poor thing. "Yeah, so, the thing is, um, I think my clothes are a little beyond repair so . . . yeah."
I hear the tired sighs of the elder Dwarves (Balin, Dwalin and Dori) while I see Bofur snigger wickedly at my misfortune. Must. Resist. Skewering. Him. Snapping himself out of his stupor after I finish speaking, Kili turns his head slightly, eyes briefly dancing on me before he sees that I am, indeed, in minimal clothing and turns away but not before he starts carefully positioning himself in front of me, as I hide my freezing body behind him, having understood my need to hide my nearly bare body from the others. The atmosphere is thick with tension, save for Fili and Bofur looking as if they're about to burst into laughter at any moment.
" - There must be a cave nearby," I hear Thorin's gruff voice speak out through the heavy silence as he re-joins the group. iOh, dear God, no. However, no one pays him any heed as everyone is still very much staring at me. Gandalf follows Thorin with a still smug look on his face. He looks to the still Dwarves then to Kili and I and then back to Dwarves.
"What is it? What has happened?" Gandalf asks immediately as his eyes narrow and a frown appears on his lips. I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly as I find the words to explain that I don't actually have clothes anymore and that I'm very much nearly naked. But thankfully, someone else decides to explain before I can.
"It appears," Balin grunts in his kind voice as he stares at Gandalf and Thorin, who await his answer, "Miss Libby is without any clothes."
Or that could work.
"It's not my fault those stupid trolls were all grabby and hands on!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air as I look at Thorin who turns his gaze towards me, glaring with much dislike. I shrink behind his youngest nephew as I feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
Taking a deep breath, Thorin pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and mumbles his next words underneath his breath but loud enough for us to hear, "If anyone would please give Miss Libby some spare clothes so we can move on."
It's silent for a minute before Ori raises a shaking hand into the air. "I - I have some b - back at camp," his voices shakes and is a bit high but I smile gratefully at him nonetheless. I owe you big time, Ori.
"Righteous!" I giggle as I clap my hands before I stop and scrunch my nose up in disbelief. "Ugh, did I actually just say that?"
"Miss Libby, go with Ori and re-join us when you are decent," Thorin orders at me, leaving no room to argue as he stares at me from over Kili's shoulder with a steely kind of calmness. Guess he doesn't like me. I gulp as I rub my arms up and down as a sudden breeze crosses me. He turns to leave and the rest follow him, some shaking their head at me, others trying to control themselves from laughing. (Congratulations Bofur, you're number one on my to punch list.) Ori steps forward towards Kili and I, his eyes suddenly taking a big interest in his shoes. The thought of having to walk back to camp as I am with Ori makes me want to just start digging my own grave at this instant.
"Wait," Kili mutters as he turns around with his back facing the rest of the company. I watch him with narrowed eyes and curiosity as he reaches up to his neckline to undo the clasp of his cloak. Taking it off his shoulders, he places it around me and redoes the clasp at my neck for me so that it covers my body modestly, though he desperately tries to keep his eyes on anywhere but me. "Just so the others don't see . . . well . . . you like that."
The blush becomes stronger as I duck my head and bite my lip. "Thanks," I say in a low tone before I push past him like he hadn't affected me like he actually has. I quicken my pace as I grab Ori's arm and drag him along with me as we head back to camp.
Oh, what I would give to have someone give me advice on how to top something like that when I'm about as romantic and flirty as a dead cat.
"Gok Won, eat your heart out," I utter under my breath as I readjust the pants Ori had given me. When we had gotten back to camp, Ori had given me his spare change of clothes and I had gotten my bag to rest around my shoulder, where it rightfully belonged. I'm pretty sure one of these days, the leather strap is just going to absorb into my skin.
One thing I learned about Ori is that he loves to knit; wearing a pair of knitted gloves, along with a thick knitted jumper and a knitted scarf, I was surprised I wasn't dying of heat stroke. In fact, I was just nice and toasty and nowhere near sweating. The only thing that aren't knitted are the pants (that actually fit better and more comfortably than Bilbo's had) and an over coat that resembles Ori's but it's a deep evergreen colour. The whole outfit swallows me up, making me appear a lot smaller than I actually am. And, unfortunately, a lot fatter.
My feet looks abnormally small as the pants are a lot more baggy around my legs; I use one belt to hold the pants up and another one to keep the over coat in place as I wiggle my fingers that peek out from the gloves. My bag bumps onto my hip in a rhythm as I all but skip alongside Ori.
"What was that, Miss Libby?" Ori inquires as we make our way back towards the others as I tighten the belt around my waist and one around my waist so that I don't trip on the ends.
"Nothing, nothing," I reassure him while smiling innocently. I pull the cloak Kili had given me back over my shoulders as it threatens to fall due to not being tied at the neck. If I'm going to be honest might as well tell you that I can't be half arsed to tie it. "Just some mindless babbling. So, moving on, where are we going?"
"We are going to a troll hoard, Miss Libby," Ori says happily, smiling at me for the first time without blushing. I give him one of my own toothy grins in return as we draw nearer to where - I assume - the Dwarves were due to the noise that omits and a foul smelling stench starts to waft through the air.
"Ah yes, because after dealing with the horrible creatures what's a better idea than to invade in their little cave? Oh yeah, anything!" I snort in amusement and disgust at the same time as I clasp a hand over my mouth. "Oh God! This place smells so bad!" Ugh, honestly, hadn't they ever heard of cleaning up?
I resist the urge to start retching at the smell of death, decay and, ugh, troll dung that enters my nose. I see many of the Dwarves have become enthralled with the gold that lies around - seriously, who the hell leaves gold just lying around? - as they ignore my dramatics about how bad the place reeks. I resist the urge to fill my pockets with the glittering coins as well and set out to find Kili - which is damn near impossible since it's really fucking hard to see in here. Whatever light there ahd been near the entrance was too afraid to delve further into the place.
"Ugh, this is probably the most disgusting place I've ever been in," I comment as my face scrunches up at the sight of limbs from human and other beings lying around along with bones in a pile off to the corner. "Hannibal Lector much?" I snort at my own little joke as I use my foot to clear my path.
I'm moving further away from the group as I follow the smell of fresh air; being in here is making me feel like the walls are closing in. I run my fingers through Kili's cloak as a sliver of light catches my eye. They won't be mad if I wait outside would - ?
My feet get caught on something and I'm flying towards the ground. I fling my arms in front of me to take the impact; thanks to the thick gloves only a dull ache tingles in my palms as I land on my side on the dirty ground. My bag digs into my side, the odd lumps and bumps making my bones ache.
"Fucking Hell," I groan as I sit up and brush the dirt and dust off of my borrowed clothes (that I have already managed to dirty) as I drag one of my legs up so my foot rests on my calve. What the actual fuck just happened? Squinting my eyes I lean forward and see that my foot is ensnared by something; a strap it looks to be. Taking it off I grab the strange thing and bring it up towards me.
Due to the darkness I have to use my sense of touch to try and find out what it is. It's an odd shape; through the material I can feel very alien shaped objects, but they almost feel familiar. Almost as if . . .
My hands clasp something small and metal. I tug at it when I hear the familiar sound; the sound of a zipper. My eyes widen at the sound and I pull the zipper open even more. Does this belong to the guy the trolls were talking about earlier . . . ?
Before I can get more time to inspect the bag I hear Thorin's gruff voice echo through the cave. "Let's get out of this foul place," he calls out from the entrance of the cave. "Come on; let's go."
I quickly gather myself, picking up the bag and placing the straps on my shoulders and I fumble uselessly after the company, trying to avoid tripping over my own two left feet. I see the Dwarves as they group outside the cave and I quickly join them, breathing in the fresh and cleaning air. I throw my arms open wide as I smile at the bright blue sky. "Ah, the sweet taste of freedom!"
"I don't know what you're so happy about," I hear Fili mumble; "I swear that I am over cooked from those trolls."
Walking over to him I let out a snort as I shoulder my new found treasure on my back. "I don't know what you're complaining about," I smirk, "I'm the one that was manhandled by a troll. Ugh, I feel like just jumping into lava to get rid of the feeling of being touched by those things. Plus, we made it out alive with only minimal damage. I'm only lucky I didn't break my neck after jumping from that troll's grip."
"Ah, yes," Fili chuckles, "that was quite . . . a show you and my brother put on there. I knew you were going to fall into his arms; though I didn't mean it in the literal sense. I must say, however, I just loveproving him wrong."
My eyebrows knit together in confusion at his words. "What?"
Shaking his head, Fili claps me on the shoulder while chuckling. "Never mind; it is nothing for you to worry about. At least not yet," Fili smiles, his moustache twitching in amusement at my confusion. As if that's going to stop my curiosity! I frown and go to drill him with even more questions when something interrupts me. Or rather, a very grumpy person interrupts me.
"Something's coming!" I hear Thorin yell at every one. Instantly, Fili pushes me behind him as I grab the dagger from its place on the belt around my waist. Thankful for the human shield (or Dwarf shield?) I reach to my belt to grip the hilt in both hands, holding shakingly. Whatever is coming, it's coming quick and loudly. Leaves are rustling and birds are escaping from their safe haven in the trees as Fili pushes me further back behind him. Not that I'm complaining; I'd rather be a coward than dead if I'm going to be honest. My eyes search for a familiar certain someone as I try to push the fear down inside of me. If you can get out of a near death experience, you can again.
"Khâzash!" Fili yells out in, what I'm assuming is, Khuzdul while keeping his eyes straight forward for the oncoming threat. My eyes lock with Kili's as he dashes over with his bow in hands with an arrow notched, ready to be fired if needed. He stands next to me as I hold pathetically onto my tiny knife with my hands shaking. I try to keep my breathing steady but it's no use and I can feel myself start hyperventilating as I start to bargain with whatever deity this place has. Please let me live; I promise I'll donate all my life savings to charity if you let me not get eaten alive.
The trees and bushes begin to rustle as the ground rumbles as something makes it way closer towards us. Everyone raises their guard and weapons, Fili twirling the two swords gripped in both hands while Kili raises his bow, arrow ready to be released. While they start acting all heroic, my mind begins to plot out a way to escape. My breathing shakes as my jaw clenched together as something bursts out from the canopy of the trees. Except, it wasn't a big scary monster; it's a small man on a sleigh pulled by rabbits with bird poo down the side of his face.
Wow.
That's probably the weirdest thing I've ever said.
"Dude, what?" I sound probably the most confused I've ever sounded, my hands flopping to my side and eyebrows knitting together as the little odd man's eyes dart around, as though he was looking for something - or rather, someone.
"Radagast!" Gandalf suddenly exclaimed with a smile on his face. Wait, so this is the crazy loon who's 'keeping our forests safe'? If anything, he belongs in a mental hospital! I mean, the man has bird shit on his face! "Radagast the Brown!" Gandalf stands in front of his friend, looking both happy and baffled as he stares at the small man with curiosity. "What on Earth are you doing here?"
"Everyone else can see this, right?" I ask, turning to the two brothers who look as equally baffled and confused as I am. Kili blinks at the strange man on the sleigh, trying to string together a sentence.
"I don't..." He starts off, shaking his head slightly, dropping his bow from it's arched position. He turns to me, as if looking to see if I have the answer but only sees my puzzled expression that's covering my features. "You are seeing what I'm seeing, yes?" Poor guy looks so lost and I don't blame him. It seems he's in the same both as I am and I hear a sharp curse escape Fili as he lower's his swords.
"Why can't we just have a normal day? Just one, normal day?" Fili sighs, turning his eyes to the heavens.
"I - I was looking for you, Gandalf!" Radagast squeaks in a high voice. "Something's wrong - something's terribly wrong!" His voice wavers as the fear peeks through to show how sincere he is. Gandalf's eyes narrow at his friend's warning.
"Yes?"
Radagast holds up his hand and opens his mouth before closing it again. He attempts to speak again but he falters before he can do so. "Just a minute - oh, I've had a thought and now I've lost it! It's right there! At the top of my tongue!"
I look back and forth between the two conversing Wizards before leaning towards Kili to whisper, "Please tell me I am not the only one wondering about whether Bird Shit Face is sane or not?"
"I was just wondering the same thing," Kili whispers back to my surprise, all the while keeping his eyes on our new friend. "Though, we should not be all too surprised Gandalf knows him since he is, well, Gandalf." I manage to smother a snort at his words so as to not draw any attention to myself.
"Oh!" Radagast's sudden exclamation makes me squawk and jump as my eyes go as wide as saucers. "It's not a thought at all! It's a silly old - " Gandalf reaches up to the smaller man's mouth and I look around wildly, very confused as to what the actual fuck is happened. Calmly, he pulls a fucking stick insect from Radagast's mouth, who is looking a bit too pleased might I add. " - stick insect!"
"I think I'm going to hurl," I shiver as I let a groan escape me, a shudder rattling my bones. Gandalf leads the other wizard away from the others as they begin to converse with each other in low tones.
"Seriously, how the Hell are you guys all so calm about this?" I blurt out as I gain the attention of the two brothers. "Like, he just pulled a random insect from his mouth! That is so not normal!"
"You swear it was the worst thing you have seen," Fili sneers playfully and I roll my eyes as I let my arms swing loose at my side.
"Well . . . no," I admit, tapping my chin, "one time , when I was younger, I saw my dog get sick and then eat the sick and then she crapped and ate that before getting sick all over again and then she ate that."
Both of the brothers' noses wrinkle in disgust at my excessive detail. "Remind me never to go near a dog again," Kili grumbles. I punch his shoulder playfully as I let out a bark of laughter.
"Jeeze, it's just in their nature," I tell him, laughing slightly; "you can't judge someone for acting in their nature. It'd be like stabbing someone and asking them why they're bleeding."
This captures Kili's attention as he raises an eyebrow at me. At this, I suddenly remember the cloak that is draped around my shoulders.
"Oh yeah," I say, taking it off and throwing it towards Kili - who catches it with ninja like reflexes. "Thanks for giving it to me earlier."
The last part comes out a bit mumbled but Kili doesn't say anything; he's continuing to look at me oddly, as though it's his first time truly seeing me. What, I can't be nice now?
But before I can delve in more on the matter a howl pierces the air, making everyone snap their head up. With a gulp I ask, "What was that?"
"Was that a wolf?!" Bilbo asks quickly. "Are there - are there wolves out here?"
Aw, Hell no! I did not bloody fucking sign up for this shit!
"A wolf?" Bofur quickly steps in front of the scared Hobbit (aw!) as he holds his weapon close to his chest. The two brothers in front of me quickly take their stance as Kili notches his arrow again and Fili grips his sword. I hold onto my little weapon fiercely as it is probably the only thing that will save me if it truly is a wolf. "No, that is not a wolf - "
Just mere seconds later, as though to prove a point, a very large creature on four legs showed itself; right on top of the bolder that's behind me. I let out an involuntary squeak as I whirl around to point my dagger at the dog like beast, shaking as though I were freezing cold. As if the tiny knife in my hand will be able to stop the monster that could swallow me whole.
"Libby!" Kili's voice reaches my ear as he roughly grabs me to drag me behind him as he throws himself in front of my shaking form. I stumble over my feet briefly before regaining my posture, turning in time to see the beast as it growls horribly before it bounds down - landing where I was standing a few seconds ago - and it heads straight into the sword of Thorin. The sickening sound of the blade piercing his skull embedded itself into my mind as black blood oozed from the fatal wound.
Yep, I'm definitely going to be sick.
Turning away from the disgusting site, I try to control my breathing and not focus on the idea of emptying whatever contents were left of my already empty stomach. Squatting down on my legs I let my head fall between my knees as my breathing becomes ragged and shallow; as though I had just run five miles. A comforting hand rubs up and down between my shoulder blades and I look up through my hair to see Kili in front of me, smiling kindly.
"Thanks," I mutter quickly but shut my mouth in fear I might barf all over him.
"Are you alright?" He asks, squatting down to match my height, his hand lingering on the space on my back. It's an anchor, giving me something else to focus on instead of vomiting right then and there. I want to shake my head and say no but I gather myself back together. I give a simple nod back to him but I doubt he believes me. As I open my mouth to ask him if he is alright, to ask him how he is faring after all that happened, Thorin's voice shatters the moment. Can't I have a moment with this guy at all? Not even a single conversation?
"Warg scouts!" Thorin snarls viciously as he tugs his sword from the supposed Warg's head. "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind!"
"Orc pack?" Bilbo stresses in a high voice. Ugh, that does not sound good at all. I slowly stand up with the help of Kili as he grabs onto my forearm, not meeting my eyes as they're glued to his uncle.
"Who did you tell about you quest, beyond your kin?!" Gandalf demands, furious as he glares at the King, who in turn glares angrily at the Wizard.
"No one," Thorin spits out through gritted teeth.
"Who did you tell?!" Gandalf demands yet again, not believing the Dwarf. Thorin steps towards the Wizard, adding emphasis to his words.
"No one, I swear!" Thorin stares at Gandalf, looking very much troubled. "What in Durin's name is going on?" I look at Gandalf as I take a grip of Kili's hand that rests on my forearm, looking for comfort as Gandalf's face darkens.
My breathing has quickened and there's this horrible twist in my guts as my tongue becomes thick in my mouth. Kili gives me a reassuring squeeze but it doesn't calm my nerves; from the look at that creature lying dead nearly ten feet away from me, things are not looking up for us at this moment. Kili lets his hand slip from its tight grip on my arm.
Aw, Hell no, pretty boy; You are not going anywhere while I'm having a mental break down!
Before Kili can step away I grab his grubby and sweaty gloved hand in mine with a wrist breaking grip as I link our fingers. I clench my jaw as I try to swallow the fear that's running through my veins, stiffening every muscle and practically smothering me. I see Kili gape at me with shock then to our interlocked hands, blushing slightly (does every guy here act like this when a girl holds their hand? Because if so, no thanks). I feel my own cheeks heat slightly, however. Now I'm not the cute and touchy and smushy type so this is like a huge step for me. I feel his hand tighten around my own this time, but not to reassure me, but almost as if to reassure himself. I return the action, hoping to calm his nerves as the silence drags on.
Turning my attention back to the matter at hand, as he sends a swift look through the group, Gandalf straightens his back as he informs us in a grave tone, "You are being hunted."
Well . . .
Isn't that just dandy?
So happy that I could squeeze in some Libby/Kili cute moments . They left me squealing and blushing like a fan girl. Seriously, what kind of person does that when they do moments like that between an OC and a character?
Also, I've been meaning to say this because someone asked if Libby is getting her own story line or is just a tag along: honestly? I have no idea.
I'm currently working out a story line for Libby that isn't just being romantically involved with Kili; there's still the problem of how she's going to get home, how she's going to depend on not just the Dwarves but herself among other many stuff and there's the matter of the back pack of someone else being there, meaning she wasn't the first, or last, to land in Middle Earth, making her not the least bit special in any way.
Thanks for reading!