Disclaimer: I own not a thing. Nothing. Who does? -.-;
MISSION: SAVE ED... again
Scenario: Santa Claus has Ed and Jack Sparrow tied up. Al has gone insane and has a rocket launcher in his possession. O yeah! Will Turner just appeared To help Ed. And my muffins aren't done yet! (It's been like a whole month!)
"You'll never get away with this!" Ed screamed to Santa Claus.
"Ho-ho-ho!" laughed Santa maniacally. "That's what you think!"
Jack Looks around expectantly. "Where's Will?"
Santa smirks. "Said something about helping Lisa bake muffins."
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Our last hope!"
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-Meanwhile, at my house in the kitchen-
"Wow, Lisa! I never knew that muffins could be considered math!"
"Well, Will, you need to find the volume of the muffin. So first you take the area of the upper portion of the muffin 3.14(rr) and then you will take the area of the lower portion of the muffin 3.14(rr) and you average them (let the upper portion of the muffin be represented by u, the average represented by a, and the lower portion of the muffin be represented by l. Your equation would be (lu/2a)! Now that you've gotten your average, multiply that by the height of the muffin (Let h represent height and let v represent volume (ahv). Now that we've done one muffin, we get to do it for all fifty! Oh goodie!"
"Why are we putting the muffins in largest volume to the smallest?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"I dunno! Maybe I have obsessive compulsive disorder. Is it wrong to order your muffins? Doesn't everybody?"
"I don't think so."
"Oh. I'll do it anyway!"
"Okay - let me help!"
"Of course you can help, Will."
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-back with Ed-
"So... are you going to tell us your evil plot, Santa?"
"Nope."
"Why not? Villains always spill their plot before destroying the world. But then the good guy stops 'em right when they're explaining the really good part."
"Exactly."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Put a sock in it."
A sweaty gym sock appeared in Ed's mouth. His muffled voice tried to come through it. Jack Sparrow started laughing.
"You too, bird-man."
A sock appeared in Jack Sparrow's mouth too. Haha! Now they both have socks in their mouths!
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-in Ishbal-
"Come on! The military attacked us, and now a psychotic suit of armor with a rocket launcher? What's this world coming-!"
The man was cut off by Al firing a rocket! Burning! Explosions!
"WHERE'S THE EGG NOG?"
More explosions. Al shoot whatever move. Yay!
Cat move... BOOM! Bird move... BOOM! Lisa move... BOOM!
Pikachu pops out of nowhere.
"Pika!"
Pikachu move... BOOM! (Hahahahahahaha!)
"Pika!" Goes flying.
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-Lisa's house, in her kitchen-
"Oh, look, Will. Here comes pikachu."
Pikachu comes flying through the window and lands safely(what a coincidence...) On the floor, right by the oven... hm...
"Lisa, I think that I've finished ordering the muffins. Now we can go help Ed and Jack."
"I've thought of something better to do."
"What?"
Pikachu stands up and smiles, hugging my leg. "Pika!"
Will and I grin evilly at each other.
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-with Ed-
"Hey, Jack?"
"What, Ed?"
"Did you hear something just scream 'pika' ?"
"What?"
"Nevermind."
Santa walks over, sweating from the effort. He notices that the socks in Ed and Jack's mouths have disappeared. He puts turtles in their mouths instead.
"That should hold ya," Santa ho-hos.
I pop back into the story, carrying a large silver platter.
"Suckling pikachu, anyone?"
Roasted pikachu is sitting on the plate with an apple in its mouth, surrounded by garland. Very tasty. Santa instantly waddles over, ripping off a leg and gnawing on it. Ed twitches.
"Is that..?"
"...Maybe..."
Santa Claus finishes eating pikachu. I remember that I have to fight him. Oops.
"O-fat one, prepare to do battle."
"Why?"
"Cause you're an evil caroler. That's why."
"Oh. That's it?"
"And you have Ed tied up. I don't like that very much."
"If you don't like it, free him."
"How?"
"You're the writer."
"Oh yeah! In that case..."
A jar of peanut butter appears and I start eating it. Mmm, peanut butter. Santa Claus slaps his forehead.
"Let's make a trade off," says Santa.
"I'll give you Ed if you give my Will."
"I dunno. He boosts my deck by twenty hp. And he's great at sorting muffins -"
"Fine give me Will, and I'll give you Ed and two grand."
"Done - Bye-bye Will! See you in POTC2!"
Will is dragged away into the depths by elves. "Nooooooooo! There aren't any mirrors in hell!"
"I'm free! Free! FREE!" Ed shrieks.
"Guess again, Edo-kun!"
He looks around and sees that a circular room has formed around him. A white circular room. Attached t the ceiling is a speaker, through which I speak.
"Okay, Ed. I have now decided to drive you insane! I will play this poem over and over and over until you go insane! Ready?"
"Nooooooooooooooo!"
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They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me! Bugs, I hate bugs, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a circular room and told me to count the corner that really bugs me!
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Hoped ya liked it.
Post script: this went on for several hours, but the computer complained that 5,872 pages was too long. So I had to cut it off. And all of that typing for nothing.
Post-post script: If anyone can draw, I'd love fan art. If you can only review, that's fine too. But fanart would make me feel warm and fuzzy inside!
Post-post-post script: The fanart thing goes for all of my stories, okay?