Disclaimer: I own nothing

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MISSION: APOCALYPSE

"Huh?" Says my crush, who shall be called Fred for our purposes. "Where am I?"

"You are in the house of Elrond," says Gandalf.

"Cut, cut!" shouts Peter Jackson. "Gandalf, we're obviously NOT in the house of Elrond! We're obviously in... in... Where ARE we?"

"Resembool," says Winry. "Hey, you aren't on the list!"

-throws Gandalf and Peter Jackson out of story-

"Well, I don't like surprises," says Carth.

"And I don't like this B!#$S!#$!" shouts Sawyer.

"Quiet! There's children in here!"

"...Children? I love children!" squeals Michael Jackson.

"What! How'd he get in here?!" shouts Fred.

"Come with me, children," says Legolas, "if you want to be safe!"

"Oh crap!" says Aragorn and Fred in unison.

"Michael Jackson/Legolas is here!"

Winry tries to grab Michael Jackson and Legolas and throw them out, but they run away and hide behind the sofa.

"Okay then," says Winry. "I'll take attendance."

"Ed."

-No response-

"I think he's dead from blood loss," someone shouts.

"Okay then. Aragorn."

"Here."

"Carth."

"Here."

"Sawyer."

"Here."

"Fred."

"Here."

"Sasuke."

"Presently present."

"Roy."

"Here."

"And Kiba."

-No response-

"Has anyone seen Kiba from Wolf's Rain?" cries Winry.

"Wow!" says Scout Cloud Lee. "Instead of chipmunk, I cooked myself some wolf! Mmm..."

-all stare-

"Righty. Kiba won't be joining us," says Winry. "You people have been summoned because we are in need of help. Our author is having a mental break down!"

-Gasp!-

"We thought that maybe if we assembled all manner of hot guys that Lisa likes, she'll snap out of it. So, please take these scripts and-"

-poof-

Winry is gone.

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"Ugh... huh? Where am I?" Winry says startled.

"IN MY DOMAIN," says an all knowing voice.

A giant tin can looms over Winry.

"Oh, it's just you Al. For a minute there, I was actually worried."

"I am not Al. I am RULER OF THIS DOMAIN!!!"

"Sure you are."

Winry turns to leave when she comes face to face with cat-like people, eyes gleaming. Suddenly they all bow down before Al. "All hail the mighty over lord!"

Upon further inspection, Winry notices that a giant civilization is stretched out before her, somewhat similar to that of Roman architecture. Except, instead of Zeus, it's a tin can statue.

"These are some pretty snazzy buildings you got here, Al."

"Thanks, although my decorator costed a fortune. I got the marble for pretty cheap, though. Now, BRING FORTH THE SACRIFICE!!!"

A little blue turtle is hog-tied to a stick.

"Squirtle! Squir-squir-squirtle!"

The civilization starts chanting.

"Turtle soup. Turtle soup! Turtle Soup! Turtle Soup!! Turtle Soup!!! TURTLE SOUP!!!!"

"Squirtle!!!!"

All of a sudden, a car plows Al down. Out steps a hobo. He grabs the tin can and says, "Yay, a home!"

"NO! My civilization!!!!!"

It collapses.

"Well. That was weird," says Winry.

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-back in Resembool...-

"Meh, I'm done being melodramatic," says the all knowing author, standing up. The entire cast claps.

"That means you'll leave us for good?!"

"Oh, no. Heavens! Instead of being Emo, I'm gonna be anti-Emo. I'm forming the Anti-Emo Squad. Sign the petition. 5,000 and Congress has to approve! Illegal Emos!"

-runs out of story-

"..."

"..."

"..."

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Well, now the apocalypse is over. G2G! Join Anti-Emo Squad! We have jackets!

:o)