It was time to move on. Time to let my Michael and Sunshine go. They both had their own lives to attend to. Michael had Ben, and Justin had his artwork.
Where did that leave me? I was alone, as I had been before Justin, before Michael.
The music wove it's way around me, slowing, and then freezing.
I looked down to the dance floor, envisioning Justin and I's first night at Babylon.
He had fought so hard for me. I had turned him down, seen him cry, only to have him in my arms, smiling at his victory, two nights later.
The music sped up, again, and faded away from my body as I stepped down from the dance stage, passing through the crowd, quickly disappearing into the backroom.
I wasn't there for sex. I was there to escape. The backroom's exit was much more unnoticed than the front exit. I needed to be alone this night, this night marking the night Michael married Ben, this night marking the last time I had seen Justin's Sunshine smile.
"You're leaving?" I heard Michael ask as he pushed his way through to my side.
I shrugged as pushed open the back door, the cold winter air hitting me hard enough to cause me to shiver.
"It's late." I replied, pulling my Corvette's keys out from my back pocket and unlocking the car, walking over to it slowly.
"It's barely two a.m.." Michael retorted.
I rolled my eyes.
"I need to be alone, right now, Mikey." I pleaded, keeping my back towards him as I opened the Corvette's driver side door.
I heard him scuffle his feet, as if trying to decide whether he should have a reply or not.
"Don't, Mikey. Not tonight. Please." I whispered.
I felt him come up beside me, and forced myself to meet his gaze.
Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close, kissing me softly, and then quickly pulling away.
"Meet you at the diner, later? Breakfast?" he asked.
I smiled.
"You know the time." I replied, sliding into the Corvette, giving one last glance up towards Michael.
"Two p.m. Got it." he said softly, leaning down and pecking me on the lips before turning away and entering back into Babylon.
I slammed the door shut and started the car, letting out a prolonged sigh.
As I backed out of the parking spot, my cell phone rang.
Scowling, I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled the phone out, not even bothering to look at the caller I.D., and flipping it open, bringing it to my ear.
Suddenly, I had a flashback of when Babylon had been bombed.
I had been ready to head out of town, in the taxi, set to go. I had been riding down Liberty Lane, just south of Liberty Avenue, when the radio spoke of Babylon's tirade. My first thought had been Justin. I urged my driver to turn around, thankfully he had.
I had whipped out my cell phone and hit speed dial one, Justin's number.
He hadn't answered.
When I got to Babylon and saw the destruction, I almost fell out of the car, my legs no longer able to support me. I had grabbed onto the taxi's roof for support, eyes scanning the landscape and not finding any sign of Justin.
It was all I had had in me not to fall apart, right there.
Now, as I flipped open my cell phone and mumbled my greeting into it, and heard Justin's voice on the other end, I found myself reliving our nights together.
"Sunshine." was all I could manage after hearing Justin's voice.
I should have figured he'd call tonight. He'd called only four times in the past two months, once for every anniversary of his leave, and once for every anniversary of our first night.
Sure, I could have easily called him, but I'm Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake. I had to uphold a reputation!
There was silence between us, as there always was when he called. Neither of us knew what to say. More so, I didn't know if 'I miss you' was ever appropriate for Brian Kinney to say.
"How's work?" I managed, mentally slapping at my forehead.
I smiled when he launched into some tirade about some twink bringing in competition.
Leaning back into my seat, my free hand steadily steering the car down Liberty Avenue, I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
Blinking, I laughed, interrupting Justin's tirade.
"No, no, I'm not laughing at you, Sonney-boy." I insisted, flushing, slightly.
He just went on, as if nothing had startled him.
Rubbing my cheek against my shoulder, a flashback came to mind. The first time I had ever cried over anyone. It was when my father had died.
The only thing I had left of his was his infamous bowling ball. Michael in tow, I had reluctantly gone to his funeral. Of course, there, I found myself upsetting my family with the truth behind the person that was my father.
At the end of the night, as Michael drove me home, I found myself in tears. I had tried to hide them, looking everywhere but at Michael, but, Michael being Michael, had noticed them, and had pulled over on the side of the road and held me.
The second time had been when Justin had left with Ethan at he and Michael's Rage Party. I had known, for a while, he had been cheating on me. Cheating on our rules, our expectations. I had even met said violinist. He was gorgeous. At the time, I could see every reason why Justin wanted to be with him. He provided everything I couldn't, everything I wouldn't. I had never expected Justin to actually go off with him in front of everyone.
I remember taking off my mask and catching his eyes, giving him the silent initiative, 'him or me'.
He had chosen him. He had linked arms with Ian, Ethan, and walked out, not even looking back at me or the family.
I had quickly slid my mask back over my eyes and moved on to dancing with some blonde guy who reminded me of Justin, grinding against him, leading him on in my Kinney-esque manner.
I had also let loose the tears, easily masked behind my Rage eyes.
To this day, only Michael knows the truth of the wetness on my cheeks from that night.
I pulled my car into it's usual spot outside the loft and slid the keys out of the ignition, still holding the phone to my ear.
"Sun, Sunshine, I'm at the loft, now." I said hoarsely.
I heard him shuffle, moving around in his bed, a slight groan forming on his lips.
"I'll call you later, Sonney-boy." I continued.
He went on to say something about me always saying that, but never meaning it.
I chuckled slightly before saying my next words.
"I mean it this time, Justin. I miss you, and I will call. G'night, Sonney-boy."