I suddenly found found myself remembering the first time I let Justin top me.
He had just gotten home from Sap's party.
I'm sorry. Gary's party.
Gary was, at the time, Justin's boss.
Justin had gotten a job as a go-go-boy at Babylon to pay off his college tuition, the tuition that his dad had cut him off from.
It wasn't the greatest of his lifelong mistake of choices, nor was it the worst.
I don't know what happened at that party, but I do know he finally figured out that it was time to ask for help.
My help, specifically, which I had offered to him. I had had a job as an accountant, I had had the money to loan him.
It took a life changing event for him to accept my terms.
That was the night he topped me in bed.
Reluctantly, at that. No one had ever topped me before.
Sunshine was special. That was the night I realized it.
I had almost allowed the infamous Justin Hustler top me, just because he had Justin's looks, but I had come to my senses.
Closing my eyes, I brought back Justin and I's reunification, after Ethan.
He had tried so hard to find his way back into my life, but I wouldn't allow it. He followed me everywhere, even to my job, interning right under my nose.
At the last minute, I decided maybe he was right, maybe we did deserve each other. I laid down the rules, and he accepted, much like he had in our first covenant, which he broke not soon after.
He had won his place in my arms, three times in the past five years. Gotta grant him that.
It was now my turn to win him back. Sure, he had a good job, but he didn't have me, I, him.
I needed him. I can happily admit that, now. Now that I've proposed and bled my heart for him, I think I'm granted one 'I miss you', one visit to his apartment in New York.
I shot up from the bed, running briskly towards the computer, moving my mouse around, waking it up, and quickly entering in the url to my favorite plane ticket site, finding an appropriate time and ordering tickets.
No longer would I be looking to the past, to the memories, but to the future, to my ray of sunshine.
I went back over to my bed, pulling my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side, and threw myself back onto the sheets, smiling brightly.
No longer just memories.
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