Chapter 2- Our Last Christmas
Yusuke and I haven't spoken in about a month. Even when I work with him at the Ramen Shop, he won't talk to me; it's as if he were trying to avoid me. All we've had between us for the last month are akward stares and silence. We got into a huge fight on Christmas . . . and it was all his fault. Christmas had come and gone and Yusuke didn't get me anything. Wait! No! That's not why we fought! He did do something for me on Christmas. But if he did something . . . why am I so mad at him? What did he do? I laid there in my bed, still contemplating. That's odd . . . Why did we start fighting anyway?
I remember it was Christmas night and we were at his house. His mother was out with some friends at a Christmas party. I eagerly arrived on time at his door, so excited to see him on the holiday we had together. Yusuke answered me at the door in khaki pants and a dark green long-sleeved shirt. His hair hung freely, naturally. I panned him from top to bottom, his physic shining at me through his well-planned outfit. He looked so cute. I had come in my new dark blueChristmas sweater and a black skirt. Yusuke smiled at me warmly and took my hand. He guided me inside looking at me eye to eye. He looks so handsome when he's dressed like this, I said to myself as we looked at each other. I gave him a short kiss as he pulled me closer. After that, he took my hand and slowly lead me through the living room.
"Keiko . . . you're going to love this," Yusuke said as he held my hands, looking into my eyes. We stopped walking for a moment and Yusuke turned to me. He then pulled me close to him again just like before when I had came in the door. We were so close that his hands were around my waist and I could feel his breath on my face. I liked the way his hands felt around me, so warm and comforting.
"What is it?" I asked as his body pressed against mine for a moment. He gave me a smug smile; he acted as if he was going to kiss me, but he didn't this time. My lips tensed at his. We stood there for a timeless moment, quiet and excited, his hands still poised on my waist. I wanted so badly for him to kiss me and a moment of dissapointment came and went since his kiss never came. I guess he was too excited about showing me the gift. I was getting used to the feeling of just standing there with him, but suddenly, he let me go and took one of my hands. Quickly, he pulled me after him like an excited kid in a candy store.
"Just wait . . ." Yusuke told me, looking back at me and still pulling me with such a proud smile on his face. His sweet expression only made me more eager. We continued to walk. Yusuke stopped at his room and looked at me. "Are you ready?" I nodded. I was so excited. He looked at me and opened the door. Inside, I saw a checkered blanket spread out on the floor with a basket on it. It was a picnic. He smiled at me and asked me, "Does this look familiar?"
"Oh my goodness . . ." I said as I cupped my mouth with my hands. "It's just like our first date." I looked at him and kissed him on the cheek. "This is so sweet."
"Well, it was nothing. Sit down right here," he said while showing where to sit. "It turned out a lot better than I thought it would," he told me as he sat down right across from me.
"I love it!" I got up from my spot and took a seat next to him. I put my arms around him and looked at him. "What's for dinner?"
"Well," he explained. "We have some good ol' turkey sandwiches and some really good potato chips."
"And to drink . . .?" I asked slyly.
"Just some nice, canned iced tea. Your favorite!" Yusuke looked at me and smiled. "Keiko, you're so amazing." I had started to bite my sandwich when he said that. I looked at him and smiled back.
"Yusuke, you're the amazing one, " I said to him, smiling and swallowing the part of the sandwich I had in my mouth. "I mean, we run the Ramen Shop; you're trying to rent your own apartment; you go to the spirit world and you always get the job done there; and yet you never cease to ama--" I was interrupted by Yusuke's unexpected kiss. Yusuke was always an excellent kisser, but this kiss was somehow, more than that.
His hands came around me, holding me . . . supporting me. I dropped my sandwich and I let my arms hold him as his strong arms continued to embrace me. I felt his tongue gently slip into my mouth and with the soft touch of it, I melted in his strong embrace. Our tongues moved in unison and the movement of his mouth made my heart pound. His hands moved on my back in some sort of rhythm, Gradually, I leaned back while his body pushed on me, losing myself in his passionate kiss. I closed my eyes and clutched onto him, hoping he would never let me go. But then, he parted the kiss and looked at me. I . . . reluctantly opened my eyes. "Yu . . . suke . . ." I whispered. I was trying to regain the breath he had taken from me.
"Keiko . . . I hope . . . you like your gift." Yusuke looked at me, full of kindness and, I thought, love. He was breathing a little hard too, but he recovered quickly. I looked at him. He was still holding me in his arms. I just wanted him to kiss me again. Faltering, he released me from his grasp. I regained myself and sat back up. I reluctantly picked up my dropped sandwich and began to eat again.
"Yusuke, this is one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever gotten." I looked down at my sandwich as Yusuke picked up his and began to eat. I looked at Yusuke. He had never looked so handsome to me before. "But . . . you know," I said, "compared to our first date, this one's better."
"How so?" asked Yusuke, his cheek full of turkey.
"You brought rocks," I laughed. Yusuke looked at his sandwich and bag of chips and began to laugh. "I didn't mind though. It was our first date. You were probably so nervous that you forgot to bring actual food." I playfully flirted with him with my eyes. He, of course, flirted back.
"Actually, I didn't have any real food or any money. Mom wasn't going to help out; it's not like she had the money. I had actually packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and crackers 'cause that's all I could find . . . but . . ."
"But what?" I asked while I dove into a small bag of chips.
"Well . . . on my way to the park to meet you, I ran into some punks from Kasanegafuchi Junior High." I looked at him.
"So?" I asked dryly.
"Those dumbasses always want a piece of Urameshi! There was five of them, Keiko. Five!" I looked at him, his animated body telling the story. "They were all convinced that they could kick my ass. So I sat the basket and the blanket down on the sidewalk. And it was on! I showed them, all right," chuckled Yusuke.
"So what happened to the food?" I asked. I shifted off of my bottom and sat up on my knees, intrigued by the story.
"After the job was done, I picked up the crap that I had sat down before and ran as fast as I could to go and see you. When I got there, you weren't there yet. So, I laid out the blanket and waited for you."
"When I got there, there you were sitting next to your basket." I recalled aloud, shifting my body again to get more comfortable on the floor.
"Well, when I opened the basket . . ."
" . . . it was full of rocks!" I finished the sentence for him. "I see . . . So, you were set up. Why didn't you just tell me?"
"I didn't think you'd believe me. Plus, it wasn't all that important. We still had fun, right?" Yusuke leaned in close as if to kiss me again. I swallowed the last bit of food in my mouth. I quietly said, smiling, "I still loved it." Yusuke grinned at me and moved in even closer. Our breaths began to mix between us. His mouth finally met mine. His kisses were always something to look forward to. His hand began to caress my face while his other pulled me closer. I threw my hands around his neck. His tongue began to enter my mouth . . . but . . . the phone rang. I pulled away and Yusuke sighed. He got up and went to the phone. Since we had finished our meal, I threw the potato chip bags away, folded up the blanket, and went on my way to the kitchen.
While in the kitchen, I looked and saw how clean everything looked. Did Yusuke clean everything up himself? I smiled to myself. I realized that I still had the basket in my hands. I reached up in the cabinet and carefully placed the basket there, somehow guessing that was where the basket was supposed to go. As I closed the cabinet, familiar hands came around my waist. I turned around to see a smiling Yusuke.
"Who was on the phone?" I questioned.
"It was just my Mom," he answered.
"Everything's okay, I hope . . ." I exclaimed.
"Everything's fine. Now what were we doing?" he asked me mischievously.
"We were . . ." Yusuke lightly kissed me, interrupting me.
"You didn't have to answer me . . ." said Yusuke, quietly, as he moved in to kiss me again. As if he were a magnet, his mouth attached to mine. There was more passion in this kiss. I didn't mind though . . . I only wanted to finish the kiss we had started just moments before. I simply closed my eyes and let my mouth enjoy the taste of his. He leaned me against the oven as he continued to press into my mouth. We sucked on each other, taking everything we could. His arms held me tightly . . . so tightly that I couldn't help but feel excited. Our bodies began to heat up, slowly the desires inside of me made themselves known. In feeling this, my body burned more than before. My hand could not resist from running through his hair. His tongue danced in my mouth. All I could do was hold him as he pressed against me. I pulled away from him and gasped. I had to catch my breath. "Is something wrong?" Yusuke asked. He sounded a little worried. I looked up at him.
"I'm fine." I said, my heart moving faster than my mind was. "Can we . . . go back to your room?" My hands were moving slowly on his chest. I felt his muscles tense up in our short silence.
"If you want to. In fact, we should watch a movie." Yusuke suggested as he released me. He walked out of the kitchen with me close behind him. He went over to the personal library and looked for a movie. "How about "Pirates of the Caribbean"?" he asked. " . . .or maybe a horror film?"
"Anything will do," was my answer; that was all I could say at the moment. Honestly, I really didn't care. My body was feeling something I had only felt in small bursts in the past. My body burned with . . . a new, undeniable flame that Yusuke's kiss had put deep inside me. I just wanted to get back to his bedroom . . . to his bed . . .
""Pirates of the Caribbean" it is," said Yusuke with a smile. With that, he held my hand as we walked back to his room. As I sat down in his bed, he popped the video in the VCR. He sat down by me. I laid my head on his shoulder. I loved being so close to him. It was comfort to me and my mind, having him so nearby . . . but . . . I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to be closer . . . so much more closer than I already was.
The movie continued. I don't know how long it had been on . . . but it was getting interesting. Unfortunately, I found it hard to concentrate on it. My insides were on fire as I continued laying on his shoulder. As the movie went on, I looked up at Yusuke. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He's so handsome tonight, I thought. I leaned toward him, moving my lips across his skin of his neck. Kissing it . . . licking it . . . my body continued to rage. I had this urge to jump on him. I continued to hold myself back. I felt Yusuke shiver a little bit at my mouth's touch. He looked down at me.
"Have you ever seen this movie?" he asked.
"I haven't," I said.
"It's actually pretty good." I continued to lick his skin, unable to control the heat that was flaming inside of me.
"Is that so . . .?" I asked finally pulling away from him.
"Yeah . . ." I looked up at Yusuke. Restraining myself . . . denying myself . . . it was terrible. Sitting there . . . was like torture. Unable to hold back any longer, I grabbed his face and kissed him. He was shocked; I could see it in his face. In each other embraces, we fell over. We were both laying down now his body under mine. I could feel him adjusting to my sudden attack on his lips. Our tongues moved at two different paces; mine was quick while his was so slow. I couldn't resist his pace. I couldn't help but to cooperate with his tongue as his arms squeezed me so tightly. I pulled away and looked at him.
"I want you," I said. " . . . right now!"
"What?! Keiko, I don't think we're ready." exclaimed Yusuke. Yusuke made an attempt to push me off, but I hung on. I licked his neck playfully, toying around with him. And then . . . I bit him. Yusuke yelled out in a moan filled with pain . . . but it slowly melted into one full of pleasure. The low sound coming from him only made me want him even more. I sucked on his neck while he panted, making attempts to both enjoy the moment and to end it. I stopped the bite and kissed him again. His mouth pressed into mine with equal passion. He turned me over, his body now towering over me but his lips still locked with mine. He came down on me, his body pressing with all of his weight. I was enjoying every moment of it. Yusuke broke our kiss with words I didn't want to hear. "We shouldn't," he told me, panting. I kissed him again trying to lift off his shirt. Somehow, I managed to get on top of him again and his shirt flew across the room. I kissed his chest, and made my way back up to his mouth. I couldn't resist from letting my hands feel along on his muscular chest. His strong hands caressed my back carefully as I felt him becoming more and more excited with every passing second.
I parted our kiss and sat up. I began to undress myself. I took off my sweater and threw it across the room. I was lost in my own desire. All knew was that I wanted him . . . I wanted him so badly . . . I bent down again, topless now except for my bra. Yusuke's hands grabbed my bare waist and I could feel his power as he turned me over. Trying to regain control of the situation, he said, "Keiko listen! We shouldn't do this." I ran my hands down his back.
"Just because we shouldn't doesn't mean we can't," I said, breathing heavily. I licked my lips and grabbed his shoulders. Yusuke looked at me. His face showed that he was undecided as to what he should do. I pulled his face to me and kissed him, allowing my tongue to do the talking. I suddenly pulled away. "Yusuke, I know . . . you want this . . . just as much as I do!" Yusuke stopped moving as if to think about what I had just said. I unbuttoned his pants as he sat and contemplated. As his pants loosened, I reached into them and grabbed the only thing that could possibly be worrying him. I felt Yusuke's body tense up as he looked at me. We just stared at each other for a moment. My mind was racing . . . and my body was on fire. I wanted him so badly . . . and with the feeling of him on top of me, his body burning with mine . . . he had to have wanted the same. After a brief moment, he came back to me and kissed me. I could feel his passion now. Yusuke's hands worked at my skirt and I didn't care. I kissed his chest as he pulled off my unnecessary garment.
I was so sure that we were going for it. I started to remove the last of what he wore. I disposed of them once they were off. Then I began to pull down my panties. I looked at Yusuke who was kissing my neck, my shoulders, working over to my breasts. As his hot breath hit my skin, I moaned softly, unable to stay quiet.
Our underwear was completely off and the last thing that needed to go was my bra. Yusuke practically ripped the bra from me. I threw the bra off and waited for Yusuke to grab the sheet and cover us. He did so. I was so happy . . . so excited . . . so lost in my own anticipation. We were completely naked and under the sheets. There was nothing holding us back. I was ready.
"I love you, Yusuke," I moaned, waiting for him to start.
. . . Silence. "Yusuke?" The only thing I could hear was the sound of the movie blaring to the side of us. I looked up at him. He was looking at me with strange-looking eyes. He wouldn't say anything. "What's wrong, Yusuke . . . don't you love me?" Silence. Yusuke just looked at me, his eyes full of . . . regret.
"I . . . can't," he breathed quietly. What?! I asked in my mind. My body quivered at the thought of stopping now . . . after how far we had gotten.
"But don't you love me?" I asked, my voice trembling. Yusuke didn't say anything. "What? Why won't you answer me?!" Still . . . no answer. He . . . doesn't . . . love me? I thought, my heart calming down and my body shaking with dissapointment. Yusuke got off under the sheets, covering me. He hid his privates with his hands as he made way to his underwear. He seemed . . . so embarrassed. He turned around, exposing his rear to me. He quietly put on his underwear on and then collected all of my clothes.
"You need to go home, Keiko," he announced to me as I lay naked under his sheets. My body was on fire . . . with an unexplainable longing . . . for the man that was telling me to leave . . . the man who was pushing me away. My body's fire quickly turned into a fire full of rage instead of one of passion. I was so angry. I got up with the sheets wrapped around me. I made my way over to him and stared at him. How dare you!? I shouted at him in my mind. Damn you! I snatched my clothes from him and I immediately slapped him after that.
"I look like a fool!" I shouted. "I thought you loved me! So you were just going to get what you wanted and then leave me to dry?! You don't even love me!" I slapped him again. This time, even harder. I walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I dropped all my clothes as I stared at the ground. I was really upset . . . and unbelievably furious at that stupid man. Why would he do that to me? How could this happen? I hugged myself, feeling my body raging with heat. How could I let this happen?! All this time . . . he hasn't loved me . . . he's only been trying to get what he wanted . . . for all this time . . . and here I am about to give it to him. "I hate him . . . so much!" I said through gritted teeth. I almost gave my body to someone . . . who doesn't . . . love me, I said to myself, more tears trying to come to my eyes. I denied the tears, my face burning with my rage. I stood in that cool bathroom, my body on fire with a terrible desire. I felt tears come to my eyes in my frustration. I stepped back into my underwear and then I pulled up my skirt. "Damn him . . ." I said aloud, fury coursing through my veins. "Damn him . . . for doing this to me . . ." This stupid boy has gotten the better of me somehow. How could I let that happen!? I asked myself again, furious at Yusuke . . . and partly at myself.
I picked up my bra and put it on, staring at myself in the mirror. Look at me . . . I'm a mess, I said to myself. I straightened out my hair after throwing my sweater over my head. I can't believe I let myself go . . . like that . . . I can't believe I let him touch me . . . like that . . . DAMN HIM!! I wiped away the tears in my eyes as they started to fall down my cheeks. I opened the bathroom and I headed towards the front door. In my humiliation, I found my shoes at the doorway. Yusuke, now dressed in shorts an a t-shirt, stood there, watching me, waiting for me to leave. After putting on my shoes, I turned around and looked at him, seeing that the fact that he was aroused had not disappeared yet. I hope you're aching, I said to myself as if I were talking to him. I hope your body is aching . . . like my heart is right now! Damn you!
Yusuke opened the door for me. I could barely stand to look at him. When I was out of the door, I turned around and looked at Yusuke's despicable face. Rage picked up my hand andended up slapping him again. As his neck turned, recovering from the final blow, a red bite mark was easily seen. It was from when I was sucking on his neck earlier. I bit my lip just remembering the moments before. Dammit . . . I said to myself, fighting off the thoughts. Yusuke just turned to look at me again, his eyes watering. His glistening brown eyes caught me off guard. That was something new, I said to myself. Why . . . is he crying? I asked myself. The look in his eyes . . . was so regretful, even begging for forgiveness. I stared at those eyes for a moment, hating the fact that the touching gaze was coming from the evil man that stood before me. Does he feel bad about . . . what happened? I asked myself. I hope you cry . . . stupid bastard! At that moment, I didn't care how he felt. I hated him with all of my heart. Without a second glance, I walked away and took the elevator down to the bottom floor. Awkward and disappointed, I walked home.
Now that I think back on it, I still can't believe he doesn't love me. Fortunately, he did not take anything away from me. That evil, sick bastard. That whole thing was set up so that he could lure me in. Men only have one thing on their mind. How could he do that to me? Were there signs? There had to have been clues. How could I be so blind? I've been with him for almost three years. Have I been deceived all this time? Am I just . . . wasting my time?
"I really miss him though," I whispered to myself, tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to shake off my weakness. No! I can't miss him I told myself. He tried to take advantage of me. But I let this happen . . . and now we're so far apart, I said to myself, letting weakness come to me once again. But he did it to himself; he deserved every word I said, every slap I gave him. And I'm still mad. I'll show him, I thought. I laid there, with my teddy bear that Yusuke gave me. Sick bastard. I sat up and threw the bear across the room. I don't need him . . . stupid Yusuke. My eyelids grew heavy as I turned over to see the clock. I won't waste anymore time with this. He'll pay for what he did to me . . .