Chapter 4- I Want to See You
"Mama . . . Daddy . . . I'm home . . ." I exclaimed as I entered the diner.
"Keiko. How was your day?" asked my mother, a smile from ear to ear.
"It was a good day, Mama," I answered her, part of me, lying. "I'm gonna go freshen up."
"Alright, sweetie . . ." said my mother as began on my way. I walked upstairs and entered the door. I took off my shoes. I walked to my room and immediately after entering, I closed the door. I saw the teddy bear sitting on my bed, staring at me. I walked over to the stuffed animal and picked him up. I sat down on my bed and relaxed for the first time all day.
"I . . . want to . . . see . . . you, Yusuke," I whispered, barely realizing what I had said. I looked at the bear and hugged him. Oh . . . why do I keep changing my mind? I hate you . . . but . . . I still love you. I went over to my closet and picked out a white, thin strapped, dress with small blue flowers on it. I quickly undressed from my uniform. I stepped into it, and zipped it up and walked over to my mirror. I looked at myself. This dress, I thought, looks kind of nice on me. I looked at my figure in my reflection. The dress especially hugged my waist. I rubbed my stomach, examining how flat it was. This will do, I told myself.
I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I examined my face in the mirror. I took my wash cloth and ran it over my face a few times. I grabbed a nearby brush and ran its bristles through my hair. "I want to see you," I quietly said aloud, more confidently this time. I blinked at myself. What am I saying? I looked at myself in the mirror once more, imagining Yusuke's face next to mine. Stop fantasying! I put down the brush and stomped out of the bathroom and I went back to my room. I went over to my bed and picked up the box that contained the salt and pepper shakers. With them in hand, I left my room. Upon entering the living room, I headed towards the dining room table. I removed the shakers from their places and sat them in the middle of the table. They're so cute, I thought. I stepped back to get a better look at them. I started playing with my pendant. As I looked down I saw the faces of my friends, upside-down, but them all the same. I smiled. These gifts are so sweet. I strolled from the table towards the door. I stopped to get a small sweater-like jacket out of the closet behind the door. Then I put on my shoes and headed downstairs.
"That didn't take long . . ." said my mother, watching me as I came down the stairs. "Why, don't you look nice today? That dress really suits you . . ."
"Thank you . . ." I told her with a smile. "Anyway . . . Mama, take a look at this pendant," I moved toward her. "My friends gave it to me as a gift . . ." She came closer to see it.
"Oh my, it's darling," she smiled as she fingered it. "How thoughtful."
"Isn't it sweet?" My mother nodded. I suddenly remembered that I had not seen my father since coming back downstairs. "Where's Daddy?" I questioned.
"He'll be out for about another two hours," said my mother.
"Well, I'm going out if you don't mind. If you want me to help out, I can stay here . . ." I waited for her answer.
"You go ahead. I'll hold up the fort. Just make sure you get home before your father does. Your father will want you to see you when he returns." We smiled at each other. With that, I was out the door. I walked alone. I was still contemplating. Could he love me? I keep thinking about him . . . non-stop! My body tenses up when I think about his body against mine. I need to focus. I continued to walk down the street. I looked up and saw that I was at an apartment building. Yusuke's apartment building. I took the elevator up until I was back on the floor on which I had not returned to for over a month. I walked to his door and knocked. Three times I did this. Then . . . I heard some shuffling around.
"Hello?" I heard a voice.
"Atsuko-san, is that you?" I asked, trying to figure out why it was taking her so long to answer the door. Then the door made a clicking sound. The door opened. "Atsuko-san. Hi!"
"Hi, Keiko." Atsuko-san smiled at me. "If you're looking for Yusuke, he's not here. He moved out, finally." I started laughing. Wow . . . He moved. I asked, "Where can I find him?" Atsuko-san looked at me, smiling slyly.
"Well . . . well. . . a surprise visit, huh? Hold on . . ." She popped her head back behind her door. I waited for a few minutes. She came back and handed me a piece of paper. "This is where he's staying. Just go up the street and turn left. There are about three apartment buildings there. His is the first apartment building you run into. The numbers are on the doors. Just look for his number, all right?"
"Thank you, Atsuko-san," I smiled at her and gave her a hug. After she recalled it was my birthday and quickly wished for me to have a good one, I went on my way. I got back in the elevator and rode on down. When I reached the bottom, I jumped out and walked swiftly in the direction of his apartment. My heart was calm now and my mind was flying. What will he say when he sees me? What will we do? As I closed in on his place, I looked at my watch. I've got an hour and half. That's plenty of time. I looked at the paper. The number on my paper matched with a door that was on the second floor. I walked up the stairs until I reached his door. I breathed in, trying to compose myself. I exhaled and then I knocked. I heard someone moving, hidden by the door that blocked my way.
"Look, lady . . ." I heard his familiar voice yell as the clicked. "Stop bitchin' and complainin'!" What? I thought, confused by his muffled irritation. What is he talking about? "How many times am I going to have to deal with you!?" The door slowly opened as he added, "I wasn't even playing any . . ." His voice trailed off as he looked at me. His tight t-shirt was the first thing I saw, exposing his muscular arms. I observed his body from top to bottom, noticing his free hair and his green pants. "Keiko . . ." he breathed. I noticed his stare and smiled. His beautiful eyes met with mine.
"Hi," I broke our glance. Yusuke was quiet for a moment. I waited for him to say something.
"Come . . . in," he finally said. I brushed against his arm as I walked in. I purposely did this just to knock him off guard. I turned around and looked at him. He closed the door and walked after me. I just looked at his muscular build as he stood there and stared at me. He looked so good. "Why did you . . . come here?" He looked at me with what seemed like concern.
"I just wanted to see you," I looked into his eyes and moved closer. "I . . . wanted to be near you." I got very close to him, so close that my waist was pressed against his. My finger was tracing the outline of his hard muscles through his shirt. He hesitated at first . . . but then he placed his hands on me . . . all around me. I looked up at him as his hands traveled down my back, causing chills to run down my spine. I could feel his hands relax as they got used to our embrace. I loved staring into his eyes like this. I felt like for the first time, I was actually comfortable being with him. Familiar sensations . . . sensations I missed so much . . . sensations that only Yusuke could give to me . . . returned to my body after such a long time. A look of complete serenity was on his face. I admired this peace I saw, telling me he missed me.
I wanted for him to lean in for the kiss . . . and almost as if reading my thoughts, he did. My body hungered for the touch of his lips to mine . . . a feeling that up until that moment, I hadn't realized how much I missed. I leaned in too to receive the kiss Yusuke was more than willing to give me . . . but I unwillingly stopped myself and let go of him. Yusuke's mind must have clicked too, for his hands let me go almost immediately. "So . . . this is your place, huh?"
". . . Yeah. I started moving in two weeks ago. I'm just about done unpacking. I was ready to get out of Mom's house, you know . . . we were annoying the hell out of each other," said Yusuke. As he spoke, I moved toward his window, checking out the view. While in the window, I could feel his foot steps get closer and closer. I suddenly felt his hot breath against the back of my neck. A hand gently touched my shoulder. I turned around to face him. As I looked into his eyes, I thought about the last time we were together; how we had gotten so close to . . . to . . .
My body burned at the thought. I awkwardly went around him and looked at his furniture. This place doesn't look too good, I thought. He had a three-seat, dark green sofa and a recliner. I saw a television and a lamp sitting on a dresser in the corner. There's no organization at all . . . it's . . . so empty too . . .
"Do you have a telephone?" I asked him, flirting with my eyes.
"Ummm . . . yes. It's in my room . . ." Yusuke pointed to the hallway door; he was still standing in the window. As he said this, I sat on the couch. It was pretty soft so it was easier to get comfortable. I looked at my watch and saw that I still had a little more than an hour to kill. I looked down as I fiddled with the pendant around my neck. I looked up while Yusuke walked over. He sat in the seat right next to me. There was no space between us.
"I missed you," I said. I waited to see what he had to say.
"I missed you too," he replied. There was a silence between us. Then, he said, " . . . I . . . think we should talk . . ." We should talk? I asked in my mind. I don't want to talk . . .
"Not now . . ." I said leaning toward him. I lightly pressed my lips on his neck a couple of times. I put a hand on his chest and slowly I stoked the fine muscles hidden by his shirt. "No words can say . . . how much . . . I've wanted you . . . for the past month." I explained, almost in a whisper, to Yusuke as he looked at me with warmth in his eyes. He picked up one of my hands and kissed it. I gazed up at him. "Yusuke . . ." I moaned ever so softly. How badly I wanted him to kiss me. I knew he was going to, but waiting was the hard part. It was just a matter of time. My mouth longed for the touch of his lips . . . the motion of his tongue. I need to feel you . . . I need this . . . I said in my mind. He slowly leaned toward me, again, as if reading my thoughts. His lips lightly brushed mine before he pressed . . . and before I knew it . . . our mouths had been reunited after what felt like an eternity. I could feel the intensity . . . the passion. I rejoiced as I allowed his tongue move slowly, but surely, into my mouth.
My hands encircled him in an unbreakable embrace. His strong hands moved down and up my back, squeezing me, rejoicing in every touch. My body was heating up along with every wave of enjoyment the kiss gave me. His mouth pressed into mine with such passion . . . such a longing even stronger than the ones we shared at Christmas. I wanted him even more now. I broke our bond and released him. I gradually removed my sweater and laid it on the floor. I gazed into his mysterious eyes as I sensually moved the straps of my dress down and off my shoulders. I slowly leaned backward to lay down. Yusuke eagerly followed me.
Now . . . he laid on top of me, pressing down on me as he had in the past. He started kissing my neck . . . sucking on it. I moaned and giggled as his tongue moved on my skin. He moved over to my shoulder, kissing it gently. I threw back my head at the way it felt. His lips on my skin . . . I loved it! I rubbed on his back as he came to my face.
Our mouths met once again. I clutched onto the cloth that covered his back. His tongue was dancing in my mouth, stealing every hungry breath. I could feel him becoming more and more aroused by every passing moment. I wanted him so badly . . . as he wanted me. I slipped my hands into his shirt to feel his tight muscles tense up quickly and then relax. His skin was so hot as I touched him, his body burning along with mine. His heat was such a comfort to my body. He withdrew from our kiss as he sat up. I sat up too, confused by his actions. What's wrong? I asked in my mind. I really want this . . . I stared at him as he tried to catch his breath. I decided that I couldn't wait any longer.
Taking matters into my hands, I climbed onto his lap and kissed his neck softly. I looked at the faint mark that lid there as I kissed him genlty. That's where I bit him... I said to myself, my body burning with the memory. He quietly moaned as I continued. I wanted to touch him as I had in the past. I grabbed the bottom his shirt and lifted it up. His strong arms went up as I pulled it over his head, his eyes meeting with mine as I did this. When the shirt was gone, I put my hands on his bare chest and started kissing it, hoping for a reaction. He groaned . . . and called my name as I did this. He moved strangely underneath me, trying hard not to become too excited . . . but of course . . . it was useless. I stopped my kisses and sat upright again. Yusuke looked at me as I began to unzip the back of my dress. Half way down, Yusuke grabbed my hand as it clutched the zipper.
"Keiko, stop," he said. "We need to talk about . . ." I kissed him lightly on the lips, interrupting what he had to say. I needed to let him know that whatever he had to say could wait. I pulled away from him. Yusuke was staring up at me. Silence. I let go of my zipper and brought my hand to him. I put my hands on his face and I leaned in toward him, coming slowly closer and closer. Yusuke swooned as I breathed on his ear. He grabbed me and held onto me as I softly kissed him there. Gently, I moved downward, making a trail of my kisses. I stopped when I reached his neck. I softly kissed the small mark where I had bitten him on Christmas again, moaning as I ran my tongue over it time and time again.
Eventually, I sat up again, face to face with Yusuke. I slowly leaned in and kissed him, letting my teeth carefully bite his bottom lip. I let my tongue lightly lick his lip, his mouth curling up into a mischievous smile. Slowly, I could feel that I was convincing Yusuke to let go of his worries for the time being. I could feel his body reaching its peak as his hands moved along my waist and back. I took my hands off of his face and stroked both sides of his chest, running my hands down and over his nipples before cascading down his hard abs. I could feel his skin as my hands moved on him . . . It burned with pure heat . . . a wonderful heat, telling me that he wanted me. I wanted to take away his heat . . . all of it . . .! I stopped my biting and slowly pushed my tongue in his warm mouth, waiting for him to break. I went back to unzipping my dress until it was loose. His strong hands stroked my back slowly as my dress fell open. He pulled me closer until our bodies were pressed in an unbelievable bond. I sighed as his hands squeezed me again and again. His hot embrace felt so good . . . but I was becoming uncomfortable. I withdrew from him and stood up. Slowly I stepped back, allowing Yusuke to see what was to come.
My dress fell on the floor. I looked at him as he stared at my nearly naked body. I came back to him as I mounted his lap once again in only a strapless bra and my panties. He began kissing me on my breast. I moved my fingers through his hair as his head moved to my neck. I moaned softly at the hot breath that brushed my skin. I put my hands on his face and kissed him. I moved my tongue into his mouth now as I guided him back down into a laying position, his hand grasping my thigh. He let me lay him down . . . There was nothing he could do now. I could feel excitement throughout my body. As we laid down, I could feel his fiery body below me. I had broken him.
I kissed him now, with every ounce of myself. He returned my kiss with equal intensity. Our tongues quarreled and cooperated, argued and came together time after time. He began undoing his pants. This shocked me! I helped him pull them off and not long after . . . his underwear were gone too. He sucked the breath out of me and I almost lost myself. I broke away from Yusuke and I sat up, as if to remove my bra. I looked down at him. His strong hands felt along my hips and my waist, squeezing me . . . wanting me. I smiled at him. Let's see if he'll stop me, I thought. I bent down and kissed him again. His hands pressed me down and their strength made my body heat up even more. As my body became warmer and warmer, I could feel his anticipation rising along with my own. He was ready.