D is for "Dirty"

Pairing: Roy x Ed

Warnings: PG-16 for Ed's potty mouth and Roy's dirty, dirty intentions.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Fullmetal Alchemist or it's characters.

A/N: This one came very easily as well. Edward is a dirty, dirty, dirty, little alchemist...hehe XD

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Roy stood in utter disgust in the foyer of his home. Just outside of his lovely downtown home, on his stoop in the pouring rain stood the Fullmetal Alchemist. Now, the sight of his small lover would normally be a pleasent surprize, which normally heralded a "I-missed-you-so-much-in-the-past-few-hours-since-I-last-saw-you-at-work" kiss that normally transmuted into a "I-missed-you-so-much-let's-fornicate-right-here-on-the-floor" impropmtu make-out session.

But Edward was drenched, and covered head to toe in some unnameable, foul substance that resembled some sort of slugde or that thing in the tuberware container at the back of the fridge. Whatever it was, it was greeny-black in colour and smelt as if several small animals had died and/or were decomposing in it. Roy Mustang, as much as he loved the blonde did not want him in a 10-foot radius of the house unless the Central Fire Brigade was willing to hose him off right there in the street.

Edward tapped his foot as Roy gawked at him and tried to stop himself from gagging from the stench.

" Well? Are you going just stand there like an idiot or are you gonna let me in? It's fucking cold out here," Edward moved forward and Roy jumped and blocked the entrance of his home bravely with his body."What?!"

" No what! You are covered in god only know's what! There is no-way you are coming in!"

" So you're just gonna leave me out here in the rain to catch hypothermia?!"

" Yeah, looks like it."

" The fuck you are," Ed stated as he pushed past the older man, Roy jumping back against the wall with a girlish squeak.

Instantly getting the hibbie-jibbies, Roy stripped off his shirt as fast as he could, all the while jumping up and down waving his arms in a very wussy way. Edward raised a questioning eyebrow at the display and stopped himself from laughing out loud.

" Some man you are," Ed ridiculed as he stepped out of mucky, leather boots. " Afraid to get a little dirty." As Ed got up on his toes to hang is dingy, tattered jacket on the coat rack, Roy moved.

" Don't. Touch. Anything!"

Roy snatched the jacketout of the blonde's grip with the fewest amount of digits he could manage. The older man just looked ridiculious with one arm stretched out to avoid the jacket from actually touching him, or anything else for that matter, and the other arm pointing to the bathroom down the hall.

" I'll show you who's a man when you get your ass down the hall into that bathroom. Now go and don't muck up the walls!" Roy nearly shrieked but managed to only sound like the boy's mother.

" Pfft. Whatever, mom," Ed drawled, flipping his filthy hair over his shoulder and sauntered down the hall saucily.

Roy ran to the laundry room and threw the wet, dirty jacket into the hamper there. There was no way in hell he was washing that thing. The cleaning lady could take care of that, after all that was what he paid the woman a freaking mint for anyway. Roy dragged the plastic hamper down the hall and left it outside the bathroom. The man opened the door and was assulted by steam and the scent of that herbal shampoo Ed liked to use. Roy watched the blonde's silouette for a moment, appreciating the alchemist's slender form.

" Roy, that you?"

" No, it's your stalker," said Roy as he bent to pick up the dirty clothes scattered across the tile floor.

" Ha ha, you're a comic genius. Can you hand me the soap on the sink counter?"

Roy rolled his eyes as he fetched the bar of soap. He peeled the plastic curtain back and handed his lover the soap. Coal black eyes molested the wet and trim form of the blonde, fascinated by the dark golden trail of hair that started just below his navel and nestled between Edward's thighs, hugging his sex. Roy's eyes fell to half mast.

" Thanks," Ed said as he took the soap from the man's hand, totally unaware of Roy's lust-filled gaze, especially when he began rubbing himself down with the bar, suds clinging and falling over his small body.

" Hey Ed..." Roy husked.

" Hmm?" The boy looked up as he washed under his arm.

" You missed a spot, let me get it for you..."

Roy joined Ed in the shower and needless to say, Edward wasn't a dirty little boy for too much longer.