Painted Desires

By: Phantom Pherax

A/N: Hello again! I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story thus far. X3 Hooray for random moments with book stores and random moments period!!! And squirrels look adorable in blue jeans that fit them/gives a really big anime thumbs up/ You guys are awesome, I really love your comments and spelling corrections and criticism. I don't know myself how this story is gonna end, I'm always winging it. XD But I am trying to keep it present to both the anime and manga, but since they're both so somewhat different it's gonna take some work. Thank you short attention span! Wait….should that be something to thank??? Find out at the end of this chapter!

X3

Nightmares plagued the neko boy. His fears, concerns, his own darkness crept up on him whilst he rested. He would run, but he never seemed to be able to move very far. No matter how hard he could pump his legs. Sweat poured down his forehead and down his cheeks. 'Seimei……………Soubi…' His voice had vanished. He couldn't scream, couldn't cry out, couldn't call for help. 'If the darkness devours me, does that mean the old Ritsuka will come back? But…I'm not ready. I don't want to die!' Forcing his legs to push harder he tried to outrun the darkness. Soon, his heart stopped completely and he fell to his knees. He turned only to see the darkness falling over him. "No! I said I'm not ready!!" he screamed.

Gasping for breath Ritsuka shot up in bed. His eyelids drifting to a halfway point the realized it was a dream. A strange dream, just like the last one. But this time it really seemed like he would vanish. Was it telling him something to that extent? Was the old Ritsuka close to coming back? He wasn't ready to be forgotten. "Hm?"

Looking up Ritsuka found himself under sheets in a bed that wasn't his own. In the bed that belonged to Soubi, but the Sentouki was nowhere to be seen. Nor was Natsuo or Youji, the male Zeros. The only person that was there, was Soubi's college friend Kio. He sat on the floor with his back to the bed reading a magazine. Looking out of the corner of his eye he found him awake and smiled. "Hey. You move a lot in your sleep, did you know that?" he asked.

"Where's Soubi?" Ritsuka asked not answering his question.

Kio shrugged. "Don't know. He left a while ago but he didn't say where he was going. He did ask me to keep you here though." He eyed his injuries. "I guess he has good reason to keep you here too."

Ritsuka shook his head. "No. I can't stay here. I have to leave." Tossing the sheets aside he threw his legs over the side of the bed only to wince from his injuries.

"And where do you plan on going?" Kio demanded. "You can't go back home."

"I'm not." Ritsuka told him simply. "But there's someone I have to find. I have to leave Soubi."

Kio blinked and sat his magazine down. "What's up?" he asked. "Why do you suddenly wanna dump Soubi? Is it because you don't feel useful to him anymore? Is that it?" he wondered. "Soubi's been acting kind of weird lately, so that must be it."

Ritsuka looked away knowing he was right. He was always willing to accept Soubi as a Sentouki because he would fight for him no matter what. However, he wanted them to be connected, but he would do nothing to help them along. He continually lied to him and withheld information that would help them. Recent events proved that he was nothing more then a commander to Soubi. If that was all he wanted then he could go back to the Sentouki school he came from and find someone else. "I don't want to be lied to anymore," he said aloud. "If I'm expected to be of use then I want to be connected to someone who won't lie to me. Someone…I will be useful to. Someone…I'll really belong to."

"Ritsuka, I'm sure there's a reason why Soubi's lied to you. Don't you think he wants to tell you but there's a life or death reason why he can't?"

Ritsuka sighed. "He doesn't trust me." "I'm sure that's not the reason." Kio assured him. "There has to be something else. I mean, I've never seen Soubi as happy as I do seeing him with you. You're just a kid, but you've changed him a lot since he met you."

Ritsuka didn't say anything. Too many thoughts ran through his mind for him to say anything comprehensible to what Kio told him. Soubi walked away from him, then rescued him. He lied to him, but protected him. He went behind his back, said he would do anything he asked of him, but he continued to deny him information. He wanted to find the real 'Loveless'. Because no matter how they connected, Soubi was still 'Beloved'. Ritsuka forced himself to realize that was the painful truth. "Please," he pulled his shirt over his shoulder, "don't tell him I left."

"Huh?!" Kio's eyes widened. "Wait a minute Ritsuka, even if Sou-chan didn't ask me, I can't let you leave in this condition!" He stood from the floor, putting his hands to Ritsuka's shoulders in an attempt to get him to lay back down. "Just lay back down and get some rest. Okay?"

Ritsuka shook his head. "No. This is something I have to do, no matter what Soubi says," he told him determinedly. The right sleeve of his shirt slid down. Before he reach to pull it back up Kio looked over his shoulder to his back.

"Since when did you get a tattoo kid?" he wondered curiously.

Ritsuka looked at him in amazement. "What do you mean tattoo?" he demanded.

Kio pulled the shirt sleeve away to see the marking clearly. "Well if it's not a tattoo, then someone must have written it on you. It's a word."

Ritsuka's eyes widened. He swallowed hard and slowly. "What does it say?"

"Here, turn around." Ritsuka, with Kio's help, slowly turned on the bed. "There we go." Kio said when the young boys back was facing him. "It says…'loveless', but it's very slight. Almost as if it's either faded, or it's not all the way finished. Weird." Ritsuka could feel himself begin to break out in a cold sweat. Yamato had told him once before that the names of a Sacrifice and a Sentouki appeared somewhere on their body, sometimes in a place that could not be seen. He knew now that she had been right. Did that mean Soubi had the same marking even though he had the name 'Beloved' etched across his neck?

He was only there to find out one thing, that was it. Perhaps, if he received the answers he was looking for there would be more questions. In the office he was surrounded by dead hanging butterflies. A collection of the very creatures he hated for their sheer defenselessness. Had he a choice, he would not be there at all, but he needed answers. He leaned against the wall next to a window with his arms crossed waiting. He came to see him and was asked to wait while he did something else. Ritsu-sensei surely had a full schedule. Soubi resound himself to starring at the floor to avoid making any eye contact with the dead butterflies.

As he sighed a message window popped up on Ritsu-sensei's computer with 'Important! Sentouki!' as the subject title. Looking around the office he didn't find Ritsu-sensei anywhere nearby, and curiosity was certainly getting the better of him. Pulling the desk chair back he reached for the mouse and clicked on the message. His eyes roamed through. His hand fell away from the mouse, horrified. The message…was about him…


A/N: Short attention spans! To thank them or not to thank them!! …………It's an even 50/50. And there is your answer! Whether or not you have a different one is all up to you guys! I'm just hoping you still like the story since I'm trying to keep it up with the manga and the anime. X3;;