A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to leave it nearly this long before updates, real life inevitably got in the way but I'll try my best not to leave it so long next time!

Remus chose not to leave the room, he did not suppose he would be very welcome at the party and deep down he felt he shouldn't have come, but he knew he couldn't leave without talking to Dora, without arranging to see Teddy, at least. But not yet, he'd letter enjoy the party, let her have fun, he could hear her laughing somewhere within the garden as he stood below the window which he had opened just enough to let a little fresh air in, the soft summer air drifted through and its gentle warmth made him feel worse than he already did, it was as though it was punishing him for all he had done wrong, taunting him. He closed his eyes but didn't leave the room, leaning against the wall, nearer to the window, listening to that laugh; there was no sound more beautiful, he was sure of it.

He didn't hear Andromeda enter and wasn't aware of her presence until he was knocked off his feet by a silent hex. He looked up at her from the floor and she pointed her wand square between his eyes. He swallowed hard, he could see the Black family fire in her eyes, Sirius would have a similar look in his eyes whenever he was particularly angry. Still Andromeda didn't speak, but continued to glare at him, her wand held steadily in place.

"If you're going to curse me can you get it over with?"

"I'm not going to curse you, werewolf." The word rolled angrily off her tongue and Remus sighed, Nymphadora's parents had never been fond of the idea of their only child marrying a werewolf, they had insisted he would hurt her and though the eventual pain he caused was emotional, not physical, there was no denying they had been right. Remus was prepared to take whatever punishment Andromeda saw fit, although he suspected Andromeda would be the most problematic barrier in his attempt to repair his marriage, he imagined, in fact, that she would prove to be an obstacle even where he tried to form a relationship with his son.

"If you're going to kill me then can you wait until after Harry's wedding, he's been through enough-"

"Oh and Nymphadora hasn't been through enough, I suppose? You haven't tormented her, you haven't hurt her?"

"What I did was unforgivable, I have no excuses to offer and all I can give is an apology, all I can do is try to repair the damage I've caused."

"You haven't even apologised to her, Lupin, what kind of man are you?" Remus said nothing, he had seem Andromeda's displeasure on more than one occasion, but he had never seen her this angry, this disgusted, Ted's death had hit her hard, she had lost so much, she was going to fight with all her strength for whatever she still had to cling on to.

"I'll apologise to Nymphadora in my own way, when the time is right, but that is between me and my wife."

"Wife! What a joke that is! You weren't even married a year before you walked out on her!"

"It was complicated."

"She was pregnant!" Remus sighed again, shaking his head at Andromeda, didn't she understand that was the whole reason he had left? That he was running scared. He was doing what he thought was right, and as usual, it turned out to be very, very wrong indeed, he was amazed Harry could even look at him, his words had stuck in Remus' head for a long time after he had left –my father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid? – Harry had lived for so long as an orphan and his final remaining father figure had proved himself to be unworthy of any paternal status as he turned his back on his own flesh and blood, a little baby who had done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve it. Thinking back on it Remus disgusted himself, if he had been in Harry's shoes he imagined his reaction would be more than justified.

"The only person I need to explain my reasons to is Dora, and I will, when she allows me the time to do so." Andromeda's wand was still pointed towards his temple, he flicked his eyes away from it only for a second when he heard the door open. There stood Teddy, he looked worn out, but Remus supposed it had been a long day for someone so young.

"Grandma?"

"Yes, Teddy bear?" Andromeda lowered her wand at last and Remus rose to his feet, watching the small boy before him curiously. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and climbed up to sit on the sofa, he pushed himself backwards and his little legs barely reached the edge. He was going to be short, like his father.

"Mummy wants you." He informed her, and glanced over at Remus. "Who are you?"

"I-"

"He's nobody important Teddy, he's one of Uncle Harry's friends." Remus resisted the urge to hex Andromeda and instead settled for fixing her with a penetrating glare, despite knowing that he had hardly earned a place in Teddy's life.

"Oh." He tipped his head to one side adorably. "What's your name?"

"Remus." He said softly. It was Andromeda's turn to glare.

"Don't talk to him; you've got no right to talk to him."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do in regards to my own-" Teddy's head swivelled from his grandmother to his father and back again, just as Tonks entered, she looked frustrated and Remus noticed her hair had returned to its natural brown state, the state it had been fixed at while he resisted her love and denied his own.

"Mum, let him talk to Teddy, he's got every right…"

"He gave up all his rights when he walked out that door."

"He's my son and I'll make the decisions." She let out a breath and turned to look at Remus. "I've been speaking to Arthur; he seems to think I should hear you out properly."

"I hope you will."

"Molly thinks I should hex your-" She paused, remembering Teddy was in the room "-your know what's off."

"You probably should, although I imagine it would be rather painful so I'd much prefer that you didn't."

"I'm not in the mood for your pathetic attempts at being funny, Remus."

"You never have been, darling." The word slipped from his mouth without thought or realisation. In fact, even before he left he very rarely called her darling and never had he called her it in front of anyone else. He wondered, as he watched her expression soften, if it was going to win him favour. It didn't. She gave him a steel glare and said nothing. She indicated to Andromeda that she should take Teddy from the room and stared at Remus for several minutes before speaking.

"Do you know what makes this so hard?"

"What?"

"I still love you." He didn't dare smile. He didn't dare speak. He didn't dare breathe. He watched her, wondering if she could come towards him or back away. She did neither, but remained standing exactly where she was. "And I hate it Remus, I hate it. I've tried not to love you but I can't, I've tried so often, before we were together, after you left, and I just can't do it. With or without you in my life I have to love you!" He didn't speak, he got the impression she didn't want him to. "I want to kiss you and I want to cry to you, I want you to hold me and I want the world to disappear and it to just be me and you and Teddy." He stepped towards her and she shook her head. "But you don't deserve that. So…I'll listen to what you have to say and then we'll talk about Teddy and then… you can leave… because I don't want to be in love with you any more Remus Lupin, I swear, I couldn't hate anything more than I hate you."

"Not even your name?"

"You're not funny Remus!"

A/N: Ugh, that's positively abysmal. Hopefully you can forgive that chapter & the next one will be better! Reviews would still be nice…