Chapter 10- Note to self: Listening to Bhaal is bad!

Jaheira watched her friend and was worried. No not just worried. She was scared. She had only watched as the child moved with speed that she had never seen, then she took on the head vampire herself and quite thoroughly beat her. When the vampire disappeared taking the others of her kind with her, Anni had screamed and put her fist through a gravestone.

"By Silvanus this can't be happening." Jaheira gasped as Anni turned to look at them. Her mouth was twisted in a evil smile and her eyes were glowing. -Just like Sarevok's- Anni just stared at each of them, but not really looking at them, her head cocked to the side as if listening to someone.

"Everyone back away slowly. No sudden movements and don't make a sound." No one questioned her as each of them started away from Anni.

---

While they slowly moved away, trying not to draw her attention, Anni was listening to Bhaal as he talked to her. She remembered that when she was younger he would try to force her with his yelling and threats but now he sounded like he cared. His voice was quiet and soothing to her as she listened.

-You know you can't trust them. They fear you and what people fear they seek to destroy. Look at each one.- She did as he told her, looking first at Jaheira.-The druid seeks only to preserve the balance, she fears you gaining to much power. Do you think she would stop and listen before killing what she saw as a threat?-

"I don't know. What about Minsc?"

-The ranger is addled. He would never understand what we have planned.-

"It's we now? I thought all you cared about was yourself." Bhaal's laughter echoed in her head.

-I care for each of my children, Annalesca. Some more than others. You have such potential more than your brother Sarevok had.- The praise warmed her inside. It had been too long since anyone had been proud of her. The last person who had praised her had been Gorion.

"What of Anomen, he cares for me?"

-He's serves the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart. Do I have to draw you a map on this one?-

"Last time I checked you needed hands or at least a body to draw. Haer'Dalis?"

"He's a bard, a bad one at that. What more do you need?"

"Edwin?"

-Look at him my daughter. He has always been jealous of your power.- She shook her head.

"He may be but he wouldn't turn on me."

-Did you even listen to yourself earlier? He hates you just like you wanted. If you do not kill him now he will learn the truth. You know he will be disgusted, after all who would want soiled goods?-

"Shut up." She whispered.

-It's all your fault it happened. Had you just accepted what you are, it wouldn't have happened."-

"Killing them won't change it. They haven't done anything to me. They won't turn on me."

-They deserve to die. Did any of them suffer like you have?-

"Jaheira has, she lost Khalid."

-WHOM YOU KILLED. HOW LONG BEFORE SHE REALIZES IT? YOU DON'T ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU FEAR THE ABYSS.- He was yelling now.

"Yes, when I do die I don't want to end up there." She admitted and Bhaal laughed at her.

-SILLY CHILD, ALL OF MY CHILDREN END UP IN THE ABYSS SOONER OR LATER. YOU WERE SENTENCE TO THE ABYSS BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.-

Anni's blood ran cold. She had known this on some level but she didn't want to accept it, but hearing Bhaal say it drove it home. She was tired of fighting her father, the call of her blood.

What did it matter if she was damned no matter what she did. She might as well earn her place in the Abyss. Her hand went to the sword she carried but never used. It had been Sarevok's sword, she carried it to remind her of what could have been. None of that mattered anymore.

She wasn't surprise that she was able to lift the sword with one hand, something she could never do before. She smiled as she handled it and looked to the others. They would be a fitting start to earn her place.

---

"Lady Jaheira, I don't understand what is going on. Why are we leaving her alone here?"

"Look at her Anomen, she is allowing Bhaal to influence her. She was like this only one time before, Imoen was the only one who could get through to her." At least Jaheira hoped she wasn't.

"I don't understand. She s-" He was cut off as he was pushed out of the way as Anni's sword came down where he used to be. She backhanded Anomen's face which sent him sprawling on the ground. She swung her sword again, hitting Minsc in the head with the flat edge of the sword, he went down falling on Edwin who had been in the process of casting a spell.

Having taken three of the group left she was left with Jaheira and Haer'Dalis. Both tried to talk to her, to stop her but their words were not heard. She used the speed she had gained from her power and grabbed Jaheira by her braided hair and slammed her head against Haer'Dalis'. Since both of them had hard heads, (especially Jaheira) the two when down easily.

Edwin had just managed to get himself out from under the overly large berserker and was in the process of getting up when a foot on his back pushed him to the ground. Anni grabbed him by his robes and flipped him over onto his back. She stared down at him with eyes that glowed, casing the rest of her face in shadows.

"Pity, I had hoped for more of a fight." Her voice was overlapping with another voice, which sounded like Sarevok's. "All will die before me." She laughed. Edwin knew if he didn't do something he was going to die. He reached in his robes and stabbed her leg with the dagger he pulled out.

The pain chased Bhaal away from her, her mind cleared and she stared down in horror at Edwin. "What have I done? Why was I listening to him? Oh god." The sword slipped from her hand and embedded itself in the ground too near to his face for his liking. Her legs gave out from under her, causing her to land atop Edwin. She buried her head against the wizard's robes and started to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She kept repeating over and over again.

---

Surprisingly enough Anni was the only one who was really hurt. Her left hand was broken from putting it through the gravestone and her calf had been stabbed from Edwin. Jaheira and Haer'Dalis only suffered from bad headaches, Anomen had been hit hard enough that he was still slightly dizzy and Minsc... well another blow to the head didn't mean much.

No one had said anything, to each other or Anni, none of them knew what to say. Jaheira was trying to think of something to say, but Anni won't meet any of their eyes. She knew that it could have turned out much worse than it did, but what could she say that wouldn't hurt any of them farther? She had been the one that suggest they go to the nearest inn and rest. What more could they do?

Anni had stayed in the common room for all of ten seconds before leaving after having a quick word with the innkeeper to order food and rooms for her companions. Once inside her room she collapsed. -What did I do? I wanted to kill them. I'm not like that... I can't be. Is all this the darkness I hold inside?- She stared at nothing as she sat there. -I might kill them next time. I can't take the chance. I won't become like Sarevok. I won't listen to Bhaal anymore.-

She opened up her pack and took out paper and a quill. She knew what had to be done, it was the only way she would be able to protect everyone. She had been thinking of the best route to take as they had walked to the inn. She had already taken measures to make sure no one stopped her, slipping the innkeeper an extra twenty gold and one of the strongest sleeping potions she had, she had instructed him to put it in her companions drinks and food. She knew it would take an hour to work, then none of them would wake up for the next twelve hours, by then she would be gone.

She wrote the first letter to Jaheira and read what she had making sure it covered everything:

Jaheira,
I'm sorry things came to this. I realize that I will put all of you in danger if I continue traveling with all of you. I am doing the only thing that I can see that is right. Or as you would say the only thing that will maintain the balance. I can no longer hold Bhaal back and keep my sanity, I don't want what happened tonight to ever happen again. I know that if it did, I wouldn't stop, I would kill everyone. I only ask that you find Imoen and rescue her. Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't be there to save her myself. Tell her about what happened tonight, she will understand. I hope that you can understand one day. I'm sorry Jaheira. Do me a favor? Pray to Silvanus for me? Or someone to help me.
Anni.

The second letter was harder for her to write:
Edwin,
I'm sorry for what I said to you. You're not weak. You're actually one of the best mages I've ever known. I wanted to push you away before either of us were hurt. I would rather you hate me than be disgusted by me. I can't tell you what I'm hiding from you, I would rather you not have that memory of me. I hope you can forgive me one day and understand why I did this. I don't want to hurt you ever again Edwin. I almost killed you, I can't stand to see that happen ever again. Please forgive me.
Anni.

She stared at the letters and seal both of them. While she waited three hours until she was sure everyone would be knocked out. She then left the room, sliding the letters under the right doors. Returning to her room she sat down on her bed and stared at the dagger that was in her hands. Soon she won't have to worry about anyone anymore.

---

Edwin rubbed his poor aching eyes, he had been trying to translate the Nether Scroll and wasn't having any luck. His mind was not on the scroll, which would give him more power, but on a certain Bhaalspawn. He couldn't forget the look in her eyes as she had stared down at him, about to kill him. He understood now when she said she had to be good.

Then there was the other thing that bothered him, the kiss. It wasn't so much the kiss as to what was said after it. He knew she was lying, at least about her not enjoying it. He had enough experience with women to know that a woman didn't press her body against him, hold him closer or anything else she did if she didn't enjoy it. After the kiss he saw fear in her eyes. He didn't understand it, what did she have to be afraid of?

He sighed and put the scroll away, it was obvious he wasn't going to get much done tonight. As he put his stuff away he noticed something had been slipped under his door. He picked it up and read the short letter.

-She wouldn't leave. Would she?- Just to make sure he decided to check her room and see if she was still there. The sight that greeted him was far from what he expected. She was laying on the bed, her one wrist was hanging over the bed as blood dripped out slowly. Without thinking he tore material from his own robes and wrapped it around her wrist. He shook her calling her name, trying to get her to open her eyes.

---

Anni was floating in the darkness, she wanted to let it embrace her, take all the problems away but someone was calling her name. She wanted to ignore them, but she couldn't. It was Edwin calling her, she could not leave when he sounded so worried. She opened her eyes to find him hovering over her, she reached a hand up to touch him to see if he was real. She saw his lips moving but didn't hear what he was saying.

"What are you doing in here? Why aren't you asleep like the others?" She mumbled, her eyes drifting shut again.

"Why are you acting so foolish and trying to kill yourself?" She opened her eyes as his fingers dug into her arms shaking her awake.
"I don't want to kill anyone. It's a lot safer if I'm dead. I almost killed you Edwin, I didn't feel anything when I was about to do it. I couldn't have cared less. He turned me against all of you and I let him. I was so angry at all of you and jealous too." She sat up and leaned against the headboard.

"Jealous? (Of course who couldn't be jealous of me.)"

"Did you know that no matter what happens, I'll end up in the Abyss? I've always been a follower of Lathander, I've only done a few really bad things and yet I'll go to the Abyss, where Sarevok is. All I could think of is if I'm going there I might as well earn it."

"Normally I would steer you down the most logical path but after your little display (and almost killing me) I don't know what to say."

"Gasp, the great red wizard doesn't know what to say!" She smiled at his scowl. "I'm sorry, couldn't resist." They just looked at each other for a few moments before Edwin took out his letter.

"Would you care to explain this?"

"I knew I should have just left them in my room." She mumbled. "I didn't want you thinking that I thought badly of you."

"And the rest?" She looked away from him.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I notice you didn't say anything about the kiss. I happen to know for a fact that you lied about how you felt." When she wouldn't look at him he turned her head and kissed her. Her hand came up to cup his cheek as she deepened the kiss. He leaned into her, enjoying the feel of her body against his. When he broke the kiss, she couldn't meet his eyes.

"I didn't lie. I didn't feel anything."

"Tell me, am I carrying a hamster and have I turned into a lumbering drooling monkey, since you seem to think I am that lacking in intelligence?" He got a small smile out of her for that one. "Anni, just tell me, the only thing that could disgust me is if you are secretly a paladin. (Then I would have to kill myself for the sheer humiliation of it all)."

"No nothing like that." She took a deep breath and look away from him as she talked. "There's two things I guess I don't want to tell you. Me and Immy are or were more than just friends. Up until last year we were lovers." Edwin sudden had a very detail mental picture in his head and actually had to shake himself out of it.

"I hardly see the problem, most people experiment before finding what they want."

"Did you?"

"Err... this is about you not me." She started to smile.

"You did didn't you? I feel better knowing that I'm not the only." She bit her lip. "I guess you still want to know the other thing don't you?" He nodded. "Irenicus, he... he tried to." Anni stopped. She looked like she was going to be ill. "He can't feel anything and he tried to."
She stopped again and covered her face and spoke into her hands. "He tried to rape me, when he couldn't do it he let Bodhi do it. They did it to break me and they did. After that I started to kill the people they wanted me to kill. I should have fought them, I should have done something but all I could think of was the two of them-", She gagged"touching me."

He moved closer to her and took her hands away from her face and made her look at him. "Listen to me, it wasn't your fault. You did what you had to. It doesn't matter to me that you had to kill to survive. (I wonder how many ways I can painfully kill Irenicus.)"

"I was scared to tell you."

"Why?" She mumbled her answer, causing his eyes to widen. "Repeat that. (It must be the shock of almost dying that's making me hear things.)"

"I love you Edwin." She stared into his eyes. "I've loved you since I met you back in Nashkel. I didn't want to tell you because of everything that was happening with Sarevok trying to kill me. I had planned to tell you after everything was over but you had left before I could even talk to you."

"Anni. (I knew I shouldn't have left)" He kissed her again. "You have to be the most stubborn, insufferable, annoyingly naive beautiful woman I have ever known. Despite your obvious faults you have enchanted me. There is nothing that you could do that could possibly change that, nothing that you have told me has changed that."

"Edwin are you trying to say you love me?" He looked shocked as he thought about it.

"Yes, I guess I am." She smiled at him, he realized that it was the first smile he had seen that reached her eyes, chasing away the darkness that was always present. Anni spoiled the moment by yawning, and Edwin realized that she had to be tired, in fact so was he. When he started to move she grabbed his hand.

"Don't leave me alone Edwin. Can you stay with me please?" He only smiled as he agreed.