I was walking down the street listening to Alice in Chains on my IPod. The sky was a radiant purple

and birds flew joyously overhead. In the midst of my head banging, I happened to see a little white

rabbit running around. It looked like it was lip-syncing Free Bird. No one lip-syncs to Free Bird these

days. As any normal citizen would do in this situation, I took off my headphones to tell off this rabbit.

Suddenly, it started to run away on its hands. I quickly followed. It whipped around the corner. When it

came out it was on a moped. Astonished, but not in the least bit stalled, I chased on. The moped was a

bright chartreuse color and stood out oddly in the purple light. All of a sudden, the moped vanished out

of sight. I was about to run to the spot where he disappeared when I realized that this was how all those

stories began. The rabbit disappears down the hole and the pursuer soon follows in suit. I didn't want to

be the stupid follower who falls down the hole into LaLa land. So I turned around and tripped over two

mongoose thugs who grabbed my converse and thumped me on the head with them. The world went

black.

When I woke up, I was strapped to a table with a laser about to slice my body in half. Next to me,

there was a short little man greedily rubbing his fingers together.

"Do you expect me to talk??" I asked.

"No Mr. Bond. I expect you to die," he quietly replied.

I wasn't sure why he called me Mr. Bond, but I wasn't about to find out. I used my spidey senses to

ask my friend Aragog for help. He had his minions eat my captor alive and chew me out of my iron binds.

Unfortunately, they went for me next. That was when I spied with my little eye the rabbit with his

moped. I jumped on, shouted "YA YA!!" and sped away. When I looked down to thank the rabbit for

saving me, I noticed he wasn't there and that I was a bout to fall off a cliff. As the chartreuse vehicle

reached the edge, I jumped out over the face. As I flew down, I enjoyed my self. I did a couple flips and

can-can moves until I gently dove into the torrid water below. Unfortunately my friend used her future

seeing skillz to watch me jump off, thought I was commiting suicide and told my best friend who was

deveasteted and almost did something until I flew on Super Turtle to save him. Once he was saved, we

went into a voodoo circle and voodooed lifeguards. Everything was fine and dandy until I accidentally

poked an emu instead of my voodoo doll and he grabbed my crocs and thumped me on the head with

them. This time the world erupted into little fishies.

When I woke up I was in a forest. A giant blue rock abruptly fell out of the sky and bonked me on

the head. In my dizziness, I faintly saw the egg crack and a small blue lizard like thing come out. I

started to reach out toward it and when our arms touched I screamed in agony and climbed to the top of

a tree where I could see the whole island. On the other side of the island, there was a little house next to

a hill and small watershed. On the hill, there was a large dodo like bird and coming out of the shed were

two kids with a wheelbarrow carrying two women with tails. I found the whole scene quite bizarre so I

rode the blue dragon, which had grown up and with whom I had acquired a very special bond for

whatever reason, down to the house. For one reason or another, the hill and shed had gone and only the

little house on the prairie remained. When I knocked on the door a conservative looking woman opened

up and invited me in for stale ale. I politely declined and her husband came up behind her, threw me into

the back of a covered wagon, and had me flung out to sea by a young red-haired girl with amazingly

striped socks.

Also on that wagon with me were a hyena, an orangutan, a quarter lame zebra and a Bengal tiger. We

were quite the crew. We had some nice chats along the way, and when we washed up on the shore, it

was sad to part. Luckily, the orangutan allowed me to follow it home, where it took off its suit, turned

into a faun, and told me that there was a wicked white witch that was making it forever snowy.

"Freak," I said, and started shuffling off in the opposite direction, with the faun calling after me,

"Save Narnia! Save Narnia! Save Narnia! "

I turned around, shaking my head and ran smack into the back of a midget coming out of a wardrobe.

"Sorry," I said hastily, and kept walking. Suddenly, I was jumped by three wombats. They grabbed

my flip-flops and thumped over the head with them.

"What is up with all these weird animal thugs hitting me with my ever changing footwear?" I shouted.

"What'll happen next, I'll been taken into a dark alley by 5 muskrats armed with my combat boots?" I

snickered at my own unsurpassed wit as five muskrats motioned me to join them in a dark alley, where

they snatched my combat boots and hit me repeatedly over the head with them. The last thing I saw was

the smiling face of my evil stepmother.

When I woke up, I was in the place that started it all, right after the moped disappeared. The only

difference was that now I was listening to a classical tune, probably somewhat of a mix of Botzart and

Mach. Was that all a dream? I asked myself. Then my foot fell off.

"It fit too well," my stepmother stated as she walked away, hiding the knife it her back pocket.