I apologize for the crappiness of this chapter but I needed a reason for Dib to be at Zim's house. I apologise soooo much. The next chapter will be a lot better.

"NEEEEEEEEVAAAAHHHH!"

"Come on, Zim."

"No hyuman germs shall touch my base! NONE!"

"I'm in it right now. Besides, you don't know any human habits."

"Zim knows... Zim knows YOU ALL SMELL!" He waggled a claw in Dib's face.

Dib swatted Zim's obnoxious claw. "Listen, Zim. I don't know anything irken" Except for the stuff I got from the cameras I hid in his base but he doesn't need to know that. "And you don't know anything human. Here we have a mixture of both and, being completely unknowing of irken OR human genetics we have no idea how it will turn out. How human, or how irken. Thus, logically we should live together. We definitely can't live at my house so I'll come live with you."

Zim opened his mouth... paused. He quirked an invisible eyebrow and considered. Certainly the Dib's logic was sound but Zim was reluctant to admit defeat. Still... Dib would be living in Zim's base... at Zim's mercy. Zim grinned. Yes, yes, he liked that thought. He did not wish to destroy a smeet, the mere thought of killing something so... young and defenceless had even the invaders squeedly-spooch twisting. The Dib would take care of it (Zim had studied hyuman bonds and the Dib would be characteristically attached to the smeet) while Zim plotted his downfall. Zim would help too, when it suited him. And maybe if Dib begged. On his knees. However the Dib-stink could keep the smeet away from Zim while Zim plotted and maybe he could even teach the smeet to help him. Zim imagined the world lying in ruins, the Dib-beast under his MIGHTY IRKEN SHOE and his smeet standing by, grinning. Yes... yes it was quite pleasing.

"Very well, Dib. I shall allow your filthy hyuman GERMS into my base. For now. Only because Zim says so! "

"So... truce?" Dib held out his hand.

Zim looked at Dib's hand.

Dib sighed. "It's a human gesture. We shake hands to seal the truce."

"Zim knew that, Stink-monkey." He grasped his claw in Dib's hand and shook once before letting go frantically. "Eeeewww... Zim's beautiful claws are SOILED with HYUUUMAN GERMS! GIR! Get the cleansing chalk!!!!"

The tiny S.I.R unit leaped up from the floor, dropping the piggy, and saluted before running off screaming.

Dib watched Zim hold out his "soiled" hand, yelling for GIR to hurry up. By living with Zim he would have access to all of his advanced technology, perhaps even finding a way to destroy the alien once and for all. He wasn't worried about the baby, after all, it was half irken, he couldn't fathom ever caring about something so... disgusting. Besides, the house computer could be programmed to take care of the... spawn and GIR could feed it waffles or something. Dib merely wanted to get rid of Zim and maybe he could recruit the baby to help him. He imagined Zim on an autopsy table, scalpel in his hand, poised to slice the alien open. Beside him, grinning, a young child. Dib smiled. Yes... yes... that was a goal. However, Zim would probably try to get the baby over to his side so Dib had to watch and make sure Zim didn't sway the baby. He was only doing this so Zim wouldn't have an ally.

Zim ripped the cleansing chalk from GIR's metal claws and ignored the robot's resulting tantrum. He began rubbing the chalk over his gloved hand, able to feel the slimy hyuman germs... invading his... Zim shuddered and glanced around. It was almost cleaning time again... definitely S.I.R unit bathing time. The Dib-monkey babbled something about going back to his filthy hyuman base and gathering supplies. Zim waved a claw dismissively and peered intently at his claw. Having determined his flesh was not in danger from sticky hyuman germs he turned his thoughts to the Dib and his gaze to the large-headed hyuman's retreating back.

The Dib would definitely be attracted to the smeet. While it would keep the smeet out of his antennae it would also open the way for the Dib-beast to use the smeet against the mighty Zim. Zim glared at Dib's back. He would have to watch the Dib and make sure he didn't sway the smeet. He was only doing this so Dib-pig wouldn't have an ally.