She was right.

She hated herself.

It was the morning now, and she lay in the crook of his arm cuddled against him. She had to leave soon, she couldn't stand this. Why had she done it? But God it had been so- she killed the thought before it was finished. She'd allowed herself to give in and screw him. There'd been no emotion in it but hatred. In fact, the only thing she learned was that hatred was as good a fuel as any in these matters. She trembled as she pulled away from him, cursing under her breath. If she were lucky he wouldn't wake up.

Didn't she say something like that yesterday?

It didn't matter. She had to go now. Bomba looked at herself in the mirror. Disheveled and. . . unclean. Grimacing, she set about to cleaning herself before gathering her things.

Tugger awoke as she did.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." She replied shortly. Same answer as yesterday, this time it would be for good.

"I thought we made up?"

Bast Tugger was an idiot.

"We didn't make up." She muttered, not even bothering to look at him. She could see him in the mirror; he looked dumbfounded.

"We screwed each other and that's that. There was nothing more to it but a mistake on my part." Shaking her head, she held her box in her arms and stood, looking at him with no expression on her face.

"Bye, Tugger. You can keep the den. I can't live here."

"But I-"

"Bye."

She didn't have the patience to listen to more of his words. She would soon delve into a rant about his narcissism and would only leave with fresh hatred between them. He had been her favorite lover; she'd at least like to have the calmness of this moment to think of in their last time together.

She was officially solo now.

Well, this was a new situation.

Sighing, she headed towards Demeter's den. Even if she wasn't the best friend around, she always had some place for Bomba in her home.

Unknown to the scarlet queen, Cassandra was perched above her den. She didn't mean to spy, but somehow Bombalurina had grown to captivate her. She couldn't help but feel a little joy that Bomba was single, but now she realized the hurt would start. Bombalurina was obviously only interested in toms. She wouldn't want the relationship Cassandra had to offer. She sighed softly, going to find Alonzo.

He liked her for what she was.

-----A little later on----

"I told you he was no good." Demeter sighed, shaking her head as Bombalurina started to get settled. She knew Deme's den well, having come here many a time after break ups.

"I don't want to hear it, Deme."

"Just tell me you didn't do something stupid."

"I didn't do something stupid." The sarcastic tone showed she was lying. Demeter groaned.

"How could you?"

"You've never. . . Deme, you don't know how it feels."

Demeter gave Bombalurina a look of disbelief, but Bomba was right. Demeter had been raped in the past; she was terrified of relationships, let alone sexual ones.

"You don't know how it feels." Bomba said softly, turning her back to the gold queen and busying herself with her box, even though it didn't require any of her attention. "He. . . It's like frickin' catnip. I didn't want to do it, I tried to tell him no but in the end he. . . seduced me, I guess." She wasn't proud of herself. Even less so when she realized she was sorely tempted to go back to him for more. She couldn't do it, she wouldn't do it. She couldn't give him the satisfaction, or allow her weakness to go any deeper.

Demeter didn't say anything, so Bomba assumed she was too deep in her thoughts. Just as well. She didn't need any more guilt trips. She was giving herself enough of a hard time, she didn't need her best friend adding to it. A small sigh and she glanced outside. The sun was starting to set. Well, now she had time for the sunset.

"I'll be back, Deme."

She moved out of the den and headed towards the car hood, climbing upon the smooth surface and reclining back comfortably. She'd have prime view of-

"Oh!"

She rolled out of the way as a cat nearly landed on her. Cassandra. She seemed to be popping up a lot lately. The cat looked oddly surprised, considering her usual aloof manner.

"I-I didn't know you'd be here." She confessed, averting her eyes from Bombalurina's form. Bomba laughed and sat up, her eyes twinkling.

"If I knew this was your perch I'd have found my own. I thought yesterday was a chance."

"What happened yesterday? I mean after?" Cassandra asked, curious. She seemed genuinely concerned, so the scarlet queen pondered for a moment before shaking her head.

"Tugger screwed up. It's over. I'm a free queen again." A fake smile and she stretched out on her back, letting the colours of the sunset take her and soothe her raging feelings.

Beside her Cassandra smiled a bit to herself and watched the sunset as well. Tonight was good. She was happy in this moment.

This time she stayed until Bombalurina left, giving her a cheery farewell. As the queen sauntered out of sight, she heard chortling behind her. Whirling, the black and white tom greeted her eyes. She let out a sigh of relief and walked over to him.

"You're in deep." Alonzo observed, tilting his head.

"It's torture." She said softly, looking where the scarlet queen had disappeared. Alonzo pulled her into a friendly hug.

"Oh, come now. We don't know. You might have a chance."

Cassandra was silent. She loved Alonzo's support, but worried he was giving her false hope. He was the only one who really knew her, knew who and what she was. She was so shy she came across as cold, fearing that any emotion shown would harm her somehow. During the Jellicle Ball she had tried all too hard to cover up her sexuality, fearing it. That wasn't 'normal' in her mind. The Jellicles were supporting of such but. . . it didn't keep her from being afraid of rejection. Alonzo was the only one who knew, and he'd known even before she had. Friends always knew each other better than anyone else could.

Cassandra tilted her head up to look at his aristocratic face.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Her."

-----Meanwhile-----

Tugger stared up at the ceiling of his den.

It was once a shared den. Now he was alone.

He really screwed up this time.

Tugger wanted her back so badly. Her warm body next to his. . . He should have listened to her. No, he was too thick. Too thick to see just what he had in front of him.

"Damn it," he swore softly under his breath, sitting up and looking over at the mirror. Even that hurt. The memories even that mirror held. . .

"C'mon gorgeous, I'll have you looking even better in no time." A smirk and she gave his arm a playful swat.

"I think you mean yourself. I'm utterly perfect, you've got some faults going on there baby." Bomba grinned at him and his eyes widened.

"Really? Where?" She smirked mischievously and began grooming him. Even she could make that mundane every day act sexy. They started-

Tugger shook his head. That day was gone. But it was painful to think he'd never be able to stroke her again, to kiss her, to love her.

Had he loved her? God he didn't know. He could never figure out his own emotions. He was emotionally retarded to the point it was utterly laughable. But he knew he'd miss her, now that she was gone. He wanted her right here. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, and tell her that one thing he always deprived her of.

"I love you."

The words were painful now. Too late. He had no one to tell them to. He'd blown it.

How shitty.

A/N: Thanks to the peole who have left reviews. They always make a writer feel happy. . It's starting to show signs of slashyness though (ohnoes!) so if you're totally adverse to reading that sort of thing, may want to stop here.