Chapter Twelve

Reconciliation

Bobby is lying on his bed with his hands behind his head. The sound of the door opening causes him to turn toward the noise. He smirks when he sees who it is, part of him wants to welcome her while another part wishes she would go away, "Did you sneak in?" he asks turning his gaze away from her.

"Yeah," she takes another step. "Well showing my badge helped."

"Well then you can just sneak back out," he says with a commanding tone.

Alex takes a small step while her hand is on the door. "How long are you planning on avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. I just….I don't want to see anyone. Can you understand that?" he says harshly.

"Yes of course." She lets go of the door and it closes. He looks up, mumbling the words, "I can't do this now," refusing to look at her.

He hasn't shaved since Saturday morning and as she walks into the room she points at him. "They won't let you have any razors?"

She can see a smile appear on his face, he tries not to laugh but he can't suppress it, "Oh Jesus Christ, come on in," he waves her closer. "Considering you're in already."

"I like it." She smiles, the first smile on her face in six days. "You look good with a beard."

He swings his legs off the bed and sits up, "Thanks, it itches a bit," he scratches his chin. "But then it gives me something to do. So, how are you?" he asks with concern.

"Fair, you?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "About the same," he looks her over, frowning. "You look thin."

She walks closer and sits down in the chair next to the bed. "I've lost almost ten pounds."

He raises his eyebrows, "Wow."

"You're the only person who has noticed or said anything. I saw my family last night and they didn't say a word." She looks down at the floor. "They treat me like I'm made out of glass."

"Can you blame them?"

"I wish they'd talk to me, all they ever say is everything will be alright. And then immediately change the subject and talk about something totally inane."

"The only major crisis your family has ever been through isn't it?"

"What?" she says surprisingly.

"Nothing," he lowers his head, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"Forget it," she smacks his leg. "It's alright."

"Well maybe it's you," he says pointing at her.

"Me?" she says innocently.

He tilts his head to catch her eye, "Yes you. You don't talk about it and they are waiting for you to begin so they don't say anything."

She sits back in the chair nodding her head, "You could be right."

He lies back on the bed resting on his elbows, "It's just a thought, I mean…."

"You and me both," she pauses. "It's not easy."

"No, no it's not." Suddenly she gets quiet and stares at him, "What? What's the matter?"

Pointing at him, "Your clothes, where did you get those clothes?"

"It seems that Vincent, you know the resident shrink, borrowed my house keys and asked someone to go to my place and pack a bag for me."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"I think that he believes if people are dressed in their own clothes they feel more comfortable, it's like when you get the flu and you start to feel a little better once you change out of your pajamas….you want to get out of the house and back to your normal routine. It's a….let's just say it worked for me."

She looks around the room, "They changed your room from Sunday, good thing I checked in at reception. I would have gone to the fifth floor."

"Yeah," he chuckles as he looks around the room. "This is where they put the….nut jobs."

She stands up and it startles him, "Stop that, don't say that."

"Why not? I…."

She interjects, "You are not in the psych ward Bobby, so knock it off." She says firmly.

He smirks, "I'm just trying to get use to the looks and attitude of….Are you working?"

"Don't change the…." Let it go for now, shrugging her shoulders, "Sort of."

He frowns, "Sort of. What does that mean?"

"I'm physically there but I feel like a zombie just going through the motions not really participating in anything. I'm more like a gopher helping here and there, total meaningless bullshit."

"Why did you go back so soon?"

She stands up, placing her hands on her hips. "You sound like Ross and everyone else. What the hell should I do?"

"I don't know;" he says defensively, "Go on a trip. Do something different."

"Oh you mean like you," she says sardonically.

He stands, "Screw you," walking quickly past her.

"Bobby I'm sorry." She tries to grab his arm but he pulls away. He walks toward the door and opens it, pointing toward the hall. "Get out."

She doesn't move. "I said get out!"

"No," shaking her head, "I'm not ready to leave. We've both taken cheap shots at each other. Can we please talk? I need to talk to you," she says faintly sobbing. He lets go of the door and resumes his spot on the bed.

She sits down in the chair. An uncomfortable silence has taken over, much the way the hours were on their first case, those many years ago.

She fidgets in the chair, then crosses her legs as he crosses his arms, evading her gaze, "It's not that I didn't want to see you I was...I felt." He pauses. "I let you down and I thought that avoiding you and everyone would make things easier….for me."

Alex uncrosses her legs, thankful for the fact that he spoke first, "Oh and how did you let me down?"

"I never felt so useless in….I tried and tried to think of something brilliant to say to him, not just that day but when we had him in interrogation. If only I would have been able to diffuse the situation and ended it sooner, you wouldn't have had to go through that. I'm so sorry for what he did to you," he lowers his head staring at the floor.

"Don't blame yourself." She moves closer. "Bobby, look at me." She grabs his chin and slowly lifts his head, trying to get him to look at her. He moves forward and takes her hand. She smiles as her hand completely disappears in his. "I'll admit I was waiting for you to say something to him but after it was over I realized that if you did whether it was wrong or right, Jonathan's reaction would have been very violent and he would have punished me not you."

"I was worried that you thought I was a...a coward, I'll bet that's the word that's going around."

"You're not a coward and that's not what they are saying."

"Yeah sure, don't lie to me."

"I honestly don't know or care what those ignorant feeble minded people, who we have no respect for, are saying and since when do you give a shit what other people think? Besides you did everything right."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"I'm not sure how many guys could control their anger that way. Anyone else and they would have threatened him and God knows what he would have done, to me." She grabs the arms of the chair as her anger builds, turning her head away. "That little fucker," she says through her teeth.

She releases her hold and exhales, "You know when people say that they wish they could get the guy in a room who hurt someone in their family and beat the crap out of them?" He doesn't respond to the question, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything. The son of bitch is dead but what he did is still very fresh in my mind."

She makes a fist and hits the arm of the chair, "Oh my God. Why?" she starts sobbing. "Why did he do that to me?" She lowers her head, wiping her eyes. Bobby reaches for her, takes a hold of her hands, and pulls her up. She wraps her arms around him as he pulls her closer. She feels safe and warm in his embrace, the same way she felt when they would make eye contact that afternoon. Just looking into his eyes, she felt a sense of togetherness. He rubs her back, holding her gently. They don't speak, they don't have to. After a minute maybe two calmness and security envelop her. She snuggles in closer, not ready to let go and he doesn't release his hold. He really does feel like a big ole teddy bear.

She steps back and lays her head on his chest. He kisses the top of her head and she smiles through tears. He helps her to sit down. Bobby holds out a box of tissues. Alex takes 1-2-3-4-5 tissues. "Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Take the box."

She laughs as she pulls out two more tissues. "Here you need a few."

He takes them from her and wipes his eyes. He sits down on the bed. "Bobby?"

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me what happened? You scared me."

He touches her hand, "I….something happened to me when I was a kid and as Vincent puts it….the same feelings, fear and helplessness came to the surface that afternoon just like they did when I was eight and I….I went into shock." He turns his head away, remembering. Alex remains quiet, holding his hand. He smiles as he holds her hand with both of his, "I promise you that one day very soon I will tell you the whole story, but not today, please."

She says pleading, "Bobby…."

"Alex please, I'm not trying to push you away, not anymore." He pauses. "I left you alone."

"What?"

"I left you alone."

"Bobby, I'm sorry for what you went through those many years ago but….if you didn't go out like that we wouldn't be talking to each other now…we'd be dead. Jonathan turned his back on me because you didn't respond to him when he asked you a question and that's how I got the gun."

"I didn't know it happened that way."

"Well if you didn't avoid me for the last seven days I would have told you sooner."

He shakes his head and starts to laugh. "Oh man." He lies down on the bed, covering his face with his hands. "My God….a horrible experience that happened to me thirty seven years ago saves my…." He sits up, "Our lives."

"As weird as it sounds, yes I guess so." She sits back in the chair stretching out her legs. "Bobby is it alright if I just sit here awhile?" She closes her eyes.

"Sure."

"Move your legs over I want to put my feet up?" He moves over and closes his eyes. "Night after night I tried to sleep but all could see was that animals face on my mind."

"I've had a few weird dreams myself," he turns his head to face her, she is sitting with her head back and her eyes closed. "Alex," she answers without opening her eyes. "Yes Bobby what is it?"

"I need to ask you something," before she has the chance to change her position, he says. "Don't open your eyes, stay just like that. The last thing I remember is that you…."

"No," she says.

"No, no what?"

"To your question, Bobby the answer is no."

"What?….I mean how do you know? What….?"

"Because I know you and that is the question that I would ask."

He lies back down, smiling, "That's a load off my mind." Now if I can just get rid of the million other ones.

They remain silent, a comfortable silence this time and within ten minutes, they are asleep.

Nurse Sherman enters the room for his next dose of antibiotics. She smiles at the sight. "Hey you two," she takes a hold of each of their ankles shaking them. "Wake up."

Their eyes slowly focus on the woman speaking. Alex suddenly sits up in the chair. "Jesus that was weird." She rubs her eyes. "But it felt good. What time is it?"

"It's almost five and time for your medicine," the nurse says pointing to Bobby.

"Oh I don't………….."

"Be quiet," she says firmly.

Silence, Alex looks to the nurse and then at Bobby and then again at the nurse. Lightly touching her arm, "How did you do that?"

Nurse Sherman, smiles, "You see Bobby and I have a deal………."

He cuts her off. "Needles, she has needles. I hate needles." He shivers and shakes his head.

"You're kidding?" The smile on her face is a mile wide.

The red-haired nurse looks to Alex. "You should have seen his face when I took out a needle…"

"Ok that's enough," Bobby says sternly.

Alex tries with all her might not to say anything about this interesting situation but she can't help herself. She taps the arm of 6 foot 4 inch partner and he looks up at her. "You can stick your fingers in peoples' eyeballs and God knows where else and you're afraid of little needles?"

"Can we drop this please?" A slight blush appears on his face.

She lightly taps his arm. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He crosses his arms, "Couldn't help yourself could you? You had to say something." He says giving her a wink.

"Yeah well you know." She grabs his hand. "I'd better go. See you tomorrow."

"I'm going home tomorrow," he says joyfully.

"That's good to hear, I'll drive you home."

"I'd like that."

Alex places her hand on his shoulder, "Still partners, right?"

"Are you sure?"

She straightens up, "Do you honestly think," she hesitates. "That I would foist you on another detective?"

"Thanks," he smiles and his eyes sparkle.

"Call me when you find out what time you are being discharged, have a good night." She points to the nurse, "Take care of him."

Nurse Sherman smiles, "Don't worry I will."

Alex waves as she pushes open the door, she leaves the room feeling a hell of lot better then she did when she got there.

"I take it that was Alex," Nurse Sherman says. Removing a paper cup, filled with two pills, from her tray.

"Oh gees I'm sorry."

"That's alright. Did you two have a good talk?"

"Yes," he smiles nodding his head. "Yes we did."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Take these." She hands him the little cup with the pills inside.

"I didn't think I needed them anymore."

"Are you going to take them or not?" She stands over him with her hands on her hips.

"I'll take them, I was just asking." He takes the pills and tosses the paper cup into the trashcan.

"I'm glad she came to visit. And you let her."

"Yeah me too."

As she turns to leave she says, "You two stick together and you'll be fine."

He smiles and nods his head as she leaves the room, I can't quit…. I don't need to prove anything to them. He lies down on the bed, placing his hands behind his head. I'm damn good at what I do; they're not going to get rid of me. Let them think whatever the hell they want. He clicks on the television, THIS IS CNN, he closes his eyes listening.

Alex sits in her car, much has been resolved but some issues still need to be addressed. "Well now is a good time to start." She takes out her cell phone, after four rings her mother picks up. "Hello."

"Hi, Mom it's me. Is Dad home?"

"Yes he is, do you want to talk to him?"

"I want to talk to both of you, but not on the phone, are you guys up for an extra mouth at dinner and a house guest?"

She can hear a sniffle from her mother, she smiles, "Yes honey of course, please."

TBC