Chapter Three

It had been a three weeks since the incident between Buffy and Faith. Buffy certainly hadn't been invited to any more friendly work-out sessions by the captain and was upset that she'd lost Faith as a possible friend. She was constantly berating herself for trying to kiss Faith.

Faith always seemed to be in a bad mood lately though the brunt of it was more evenly distributed now. She didn't seem directly angry at Buffy anymore and had even given her an approving nod just this afternoon. But Buffy still felt bad that all these other girls were having Faith's frustrations taken out on them.

Buffy had finally gone to the on-campus house the weekend after the pool incident. She'd been a little quieter than usual, but she'd enjoyed spending time with her mom and Giles. They'd had a nice dinner Sunday night and had a kind of family day on Saturday. She'd gone home every weekend since.

Buffy had also noticed Kennedy wasn't hanging around Faith as much. She was constantly with her girlfriend, -- whose name Buffy had yet to discover -- and Buffy couldn't blame her. Faith's aforementioned bad mood was catching. Even Willow, whom Buffy considered to be eternally happy -- though, admittedly, she wouldn't know very well yet -- was getting a little snappish.

Tara, however, was still the essence of calm. She'd keep Buffy company when Willow was off at the gym working through her own bad mood.

One day, while sitting in the library together, Buffy had told Tara what had happened between her and Faith.

"She was probably just surprised, Buffy. She hardly knows you and the moment you guys shared there... She must've felt like you were coming onto her."

"Her own sister's gay," Buffy said. "She can't be homophobic..."

"Oh, she can be," Tara said. "But I don't think she is. She wants Kennedy to be happy. So whether or not she approves, she's not going to say anything. She's not like that. If her father knew on the other hand..."

"He's one of those hardcore military guys, isn't he?" Buffy asked.

"From what I've heard," Tara said. "People have said that he divorced his wife because she was sleeping with another woman. Supposedly, she'd cheated plenty of times before with men, and he'd forgiven her but cheating with a woman was the last straw."

"Spreading my family's story Tara?"

Tara and Buffy looked up to see Kennedy standing over them, grinning, her arm around her girlfriend's waist.

"Hey, Kennedy," Tara said, smiling warmly. "Not really. Buffy was just a little curious about your family. I told her what I knew. Which isn't much, honestly."

"Well, what is it you wanna know?" Kennedy asked.

Kennedy pulled out a chair for her girlfriend and the girl took a seat, smiling adoringly at Kennedy. Kennedy smiled back and then sat down beside her.

"Well, one, what's your girlfriend's name?"

"Cordelia Chase," the girl spoke up. "Buffy Summers, right?" Buffy nodded and smiled. "Nice to meet you. I think I've heard your name before. You didn't used to go to Hemery in Los Angeles, did you?"

"Key words: used to," Cordelia said. "I did. I think I knew you from the socialite group."

"Yeah! Cordy! Long time, no see. I thought I recognized you," Buffy said, smiling. "We over at Hemery wondered what happened to you."

"Yeah, well, Daddy sent me to military school. He thought I was undisciplined. And I guess I was."

"Wow. So you've been here since after freshman year, huh?"

"Yeah," Cordy said. "And I actually like it. I don't really have a head for all the numbers and stuff but it's not too bad. And I met someone I love very much here."

Cordy smiled over at Kennedy and Kennedy smiled back.

"So, Buffy," Kennedy began, "what is it you want to know about my family?"

"Well, it's kind of about Faith. And don't consider me nosy cause I'm really trying not to be," Buffy said quickly.

"Go for it," Kennedy said.

Buffy still looked hesitant.

"It won't bother me. I promise," Kennedy assured her.

"Okay," Buffy said, taking a breath. "What is it that caused the mood swings? I mean, she seems like she can be the sweetest girl in the world sometimes and other times...she's so cold. It doesn't seem real."

"Faith had it rough growing up," Kennedy said quietly. "We both kind of did. Dad was especially hard on her though, cause physical stuff came so naturally to her, and I had to work for it. She never really got attention cause I was born when she was only eleven-months-old. My mom spoiled me when she was around and didn't pay much attention to her. Dad was the one that paid attention to her, but it wasn't always good. He...he'd beat her up sometimes. She'd cry when we were younger, but she stopped when she hit about five because she'd figured out that crying only made it more enjoyable for him. And when she became a pre-teen, she'd argue with him, talk back, whatever. She had a temper on her, and he didn't like that. She learned to control it eventually, but she still liked to take out her frustrations on something."

"You?" Buffy asked, watching as Cordy began rubbing Kennedy's back.

"No," Kennedy said, shaking her head. "Faith would never hurt me. She'd never hurt anyone. She doesn't wanna be like Dad. No, she saved up her money for a punching bag and then she hug it from the rafters on the second floor of our neighbor's garage. She'd beat on that for a while when he was home and her temper tried to get the better of her. Now that she's got an entire barracks under her control, she takes it out on them."

"But why?" Buffy asked. "I thought she didn't wanna hurt people. Doesn't she realize she's hurting people?"

"She realizes it," Kennedy said. "But the sergeant in charge of watching over training saw her taking her emotions out on us last year and he liked it. That turned her off to it immediately. She hasn't been like this since November of last year."

"Do you think she's gonna stop soon?" Tara asked.

"I think she's already calming down," Kennedy said. "Whatever happened must've stung quite a bit but she's relaxing about it. She needs time to figure things out when bad stuff -- or what she considers to be bad stuff -- happens. But she always comes out okay. She's never gonna be like Dad, I know that."

"I know why she was so pissed," Buffy said quietly.

"Really?" Cordy asked, suddenly very interested. "What is it?"

"I, um...I tried to kiss her," Buffy said quietly. "And...she didn't take it too well."

"What led up to this?" Cordy asked.

"She invited me to come work out with her on Monday during free period, -- she even let me call her Faith -- and I agreed. So we were working out in the gym and playing around a little, and...she chased me into the pool, and we shared this sorta...intense...moment. I thought she wanted the same thing so...I leaned in. And she swam away from me. We haven't said a word to each other since."

"You caught her off-guard," Cordy said simply.

"No," Buffy said. "She must be straight or homophobic or something. She didn't want it at all. She practically leapt away from me."

Kennedy and Cordy shared a look and started laughing.

"What?" Buffy asked. "What's so funny?"

"Buffy, Faith's about as straight as a circle," Kennedy said. "I'm a little more open about it than she is, but she's a total lezzy. She went with a girl for a year in middle school. She's never shown any interest in guys, and she's as far from homophobic as you can get."

"Oh," Buffy said, blushing. "My mistake."

"Whatever happened between you she only took it badly because she wasn't ready. And the frustration she's been taking out on us is probably her way of working out how she feels about you. It's just what she does," Kennedy said, shrugging. "It's how she processes things."

"Well, let's hope she's figured it out in time for training," Cordy said. "One more session like that and I'm gonna snap in half."

"Yeah," Tara said quietly. "Let's hope so."

The table fell silent.

Buffy thought about Faith. No wonder Faith had leapt away from her like that. Her father had beaten on her as a child and she didn't want to do anything to displease him and risk being abused again.

Buffy wondered how hard it had been to hide the relationship Kennedy had mentioned Faith had had in middle school.

"Kennedy? Do you have any pictures of her as a kid?" Buffy asked quietly.

Kennedy smiled.

"I think so. You wanna see 'em? They're back at the barracks at my bunk."

"Yeah. If you don't care, that is," Buffy said quickly.

Kennedy grinned again.

"Not at all," she said. "C'mon."

:

"She's so adorable," Buffy said quietly.

Tara nodded her agreement. "Yeah, she is really cute. Look at those little dimples."

"That's something rare to see since she turned fourteen," Kennedy said. "She'd kinda lost the fun factor of life by then, she was so used to being beat on and her girl had just broken up with her. I only see them if I really make her laugh."

"I saw them," Buffy said, smiling at the memory. "At least three times before...what happened."

"Wow! Really?" Kennedy asked in astonishment.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah," she said. "It was the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Yeah. Lucky bitch got mom's dimples. She used to feel like she was so special because of them. She'd lord it over me when we were kids," Kennedy said.

Kennedy then launched into an imitation of a young Faith, saying, "'Yeah, well, Ma may put you in ugly dresses, Kenny, but I got these,' she'd say and then smile all big to show me. Really used to get to me too," Kennedy said, chuckling and smiling at the memories.

"She is special," Buffy said.

"Then tell her that," Tara encouraged her. "Tell her that you like her if you feel that strongly."

"And risk her 'processing' by taking it out even harder on everyone? No way. I'll keep what I feel to myself for now," Buffy said. "But someday...maybe."

"Take your time," Kennedy advised her. "Ya still got like seven and a half months left of school. Just be glad she's cooling down, and we can keep a secret or you'd have some pretty pissed off girls coming at you."

Buffy smiled. "You guys promise you won't tell her."

"Sure," Cordy said. "You have to tell her in your own time. I, for one, respect that. What about you, Tara?"

"It took me a long time and lots of stuttering to tell Willow how I feel so I completely understand. Take your time, sweetie," Tara said, squeezing Buffy's shoulder. "You have to do what's right for you."

Buffy smiled at Tara, her friend from the start, and Kennedy and Cordy, her new friends. They supported her in her decision and that was what mattered. She'd deal with her feelings for Faith when she felt the time was right. And now, was not quite right.

"Soon," she said aloud. "I think it will be soon."

Buffy and Kennedy shared a smile.

"Cool," Kennedy said. "Listen, Cordy and I are gonna change. You guys better get ready too. I'm sure big sis has plenty of training for us to do today."

"Great," Cordy said. "Honey, next time you talk to her, can you tell her to get a grip? Please? Someone's gonna break something soon. I can feel it."

"Oh, stop overreacting," Kennedy said, scoffing at her girlfriend.

Buffy and Tara walked over to their bunks to get their uniforms and meet Willow, leaving the bickering lovers alone.