Road Rovers: Trouble in Tehran
Story by: Phoenix710
Summary: The Rovers make their way into the unfriendly skies of Iran, and along the way, Hunter and Colleen go over their strategy for dealing with each stage of this mission, as well as how they'll deal with the Iranian Air Force. Colleen lets Hunter know that she'll always be at his side, no matter what, and then the bad guys come out to play. Let's join the action, as the Rovers get set to do what they do best, kick butt and take names.
Disclaimer: I claim no rights whatsoever to Road Rovers, or to any of the characters associated with the series. Road Rovers, and all associated characters, are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers. All original characters are products of my imagination.
Song for this chapter: 'Ignited'-T.M. Revolution
Chapter Three: Desert Demolition Derby
Just after 2:30pm, the Stealth Rover arrived in the skies of Iran, and Hunter said, "We're here, Rovers. Keep your eyes peeled, since I know that lunatic Ahmedinejad's not gonna just let us waltz in and take out that airborne fortress of his." Colleen finished reading over the technical diagrams of the huge plane, along with Exile, and she said, "Huntie...this bomber...it's a monstrosity...this thing's bigger than a B-2 Spirit stealth bomber, and it's heavily armed. It's got three internal bomb bays, with the center one housing the nuke, and a mix of 2,000 pound incendiary, and 2,000-pound cluster bombs in the other two bomb bays. It's also got fifteen quad-barreled 30mm anti-aircraft turrets on top, and another fifteen on the bottom, along with six on each side. It's got a pair of 20mm gun turrets in the tail, and four more up front, along with three forward-firing missile launchers, and three more in the back. We've gotta knock that bloody beast out before they get the nuke onboard, Huntie...I shudder to think what'll happen if we have to knock it out of the sky." Hunter replied, "Don't worry, Colleen...we won't let that happen. We're gonna get in there, take down any soldiers we see, bring down Ahmedinejad, and then make sure that bomber never gets so much as an inch down that runway. I promise you this…I'll get ALL of us home, safe and sound. Nothing can beat us, as long as we all stick together." Colleen replied, "That's what makes you such a great leader, Huntie...you're always able to come up with a plan, and you've never backed down, or left us when we've needed you. You're always right there, leading us to victory, no matter what, and I want you to know that I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth. I love you, Huntie." Hunter smiled, and then he and Colleen both retracted the visors of their helmets, and kissed one another gently on the nose. Hunter replied, "I love you too, Colleen...and I'll always be here for you, and the rest. After all...we're Road Rovers, and we always stick together, no matter what." The other Rovers chorused, "YEAH!!"
The radar beeped, and Colleen said, "Huntie, we've got eight bandits coming in hot...at Mach 2. I'm reading them as...four Dassault Mirage 2000's, two MiG-29 Fulcrums, and two Su-27 Flankers. I think they know we're here." Hunter replied, "Well then...let's give these guys some flying lessons. Colleen, shields up." She replied, "I'm on it, Huntie. Shields coming on...now!" On the tactical display, a bright blue ring of light came up around the graphic of their fighter, indicating that the shields were up at full strength. On the other screen, the display read: '30mm cannons: ARMED. AIM-9X Sidewinder Missiles: ACTIVE STANDBY. AIM-132 ASRAAM Missiles: ACTIVE STANDBY. Meteor Air-to-Air Long-Range Missiles: ACTIVE STANDBY. LASER CANNONS: ARMED. ALL COMBAT SYSTEMS READY.' Hunter said, "Looks like we're good to go, Rovers...LET'S HIT 'EM!!" He punched the engines, and headed straight towards one of the Su-27's.
As soon as the enemy pilot had gotten close enough, he fired one of his AA-11 'Archer' heat-seeking missiles, but Hunter simply blew it out of the air with a burst from the 30mm guns. The goon then made the mistake of trying to engage Hunter in a one-on-one dogfight, and Hunter made him regret it. The pilot tried every maneuver he could muster, but no matter what, he couldn't even come close to getting missile lock. The Stealth Rover was far more maneuverable, and Hunter was an ace pilot. Hunter snapped into a high-speed inverted loop, saddled up behind the Su-27, and then he punched the enemy pilot's ticket with a burst from the guns. The 30mm rounds ripped clean through the armor, and shredded the right wing. The pilot bailed, and Kasha pinpointed his location on the electronic surveillance map. The second Su-27 came at them from above, intent on blowing their engines out, but Hunter had other plans. He cut the throttle to half, causing the Iranian fighter to overshoot. Smirking, Hunter armed one of the AIM-132 ASRAAM's, and let it fly. The missile began to relentlessly pursue the enemy jet, and despite the enemy pilot's best efforts, the missile stayed glued onto him, until it eventually speared right into his left engine intake, detonating the ammo of the SU-27's 30mm cannon. The pilot bailed before the impact, and Hunter said, "Two down…six to go." He flipped on the radio, and said, "Attention, Iranian Air Force pilots…this is Hunter, leader of the Road Rovers. My team and I are here on the authority of the United States Government, and I advise you all to surrender now, or I WILL blow you out of the sky. This is your one and ONLY warning." The pilot of the lead enemy MiG-29 replied, "Here's your answer, infidel…MAY ALLAH BURN YOU TO HELL!!" The MiG-29 unleashed two radar-guided AA-12 'Adder' missiles, but Hunter jammed them both with a blast from the EMP cannon, causing the missiles to explode in midair. He then fired a Meteor long-range missile, and blew off the MiG's right tail fin, along with the engine and most of the wing. The idiot bailed, and landed on the Stealth Rover's wing. Hunter said, "Colleen, take the controls. I'll get rid of our uninvited guest." She replied, "Roger, Huntie…be careful." He smiled, and replied, "Don't worry, sweetheart…I'll be back." She winked at him, and then he went out through the hatch. He magnetized the boots of his armored suit, and said, "Listen up, buddy…there's two ways we can do this. First up, you surrender, and I take you in, or number two, you try something stupid, and I kick your butt. What's it gonna be?" The goon replied, "I choose option three, infidel…I blow off that damned mangy female Collie's head!" Hunter growled, and said, "Oh no you don't…NOBODY AIMS AT MY WIFE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!" The terrorist replied, "Oh…you're married, to HER? How unfortunate. She's ugly, weak-looking, and from the looks of it, I say you only married her out of pity…because who else would want a piece of gutter trash like her?" Hunter let out a roar of pure rage, and shouted, "HOW DARE YOU…COLLEEN IS NOT WEAK, OR UGLY, AND I MARRIED HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER, YOU STUPID PUNK!! SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PURE-HEARTED FEMALE DOG THAT I COULD EVER HOPE TO MEET!! I'M GONNA TEACH YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INSULT THE ONE I LOVE, BOZO!!"
With blinding speed, Hunter charged at the terrorist, and cracked a right hook into the idiot's jaw, shattering the bone, and knocking him off of the wing. The goon pulled his parachute, and Hunter walked back inside. He said, "Well, that takes care of our unwanted passenger." Colleen turned around, and said, "Nice job, Huntie. I knew you could do it." He smiled, and replied, "Thanks, Colleen. I'll take the controls now." She slid back over into the co-pilot's position, and Hunter slid back behind the seat. He went after the remaining MiG-29's with a vengeance. One took a heavy barrage of fire from the laser cannons, another got speared in the right engine by a Sidewinder, and the last one fell to a Meteor, as he tried to run away. With the Mirage 2000's as their remaining opposition, the Rovers all got themselves set for the ground battle that was still to come.
Not wanting to waste time with the obsolete French-built Mirage fighters, Hunter raked the 30mm cannons through two of them, and hit the other two with a pair of ASRAAM's. Afterwards, he set the Stealth Rover on a southbound course, headed towards the enemy barracks.
Having taken out the Iranian Air Force squadron that had made the mistake of getting in their way, the Rovers arrived just outside the Iranian barracks, and Hunter took a quick glance over the scene, after launching an Eagleeye recon drone. He said, "Looks like they've got two sentries outside the gate, and the interior has at least fifteen goons, most of them clustered around the armory, the mess hall, and the command post, and there's probably more inside the buildings. Here's the plan...I'll go in with Colleen, and we'll take down the command post, along with the armory, and then we'll grab any intel documents. Blitz and Sam, take the mess hall. The rest of you, keep the guards from raising an alarm. I don't want the other bases to know we're here...until it's too late." Colleen said, "I'm ready to go, Huntie. Just say the word." The other Rovers flashed him the thumbs-up, and then he said, "Let's move out, Rovers!" The team high-fived each other, before splitting up and moving towards their targets.
Hunter and Colleen approached the guards at the gate, and the first one said, "Halt, infidels. Hands in the air, or...wait, where'd the other one go..." Hunter came up from behind the goon, and tackled him. The idiot was shocked at Hunter's incredible speed, and he tried to fight back. Unfortunately for the terrorist thug, Hunter was not only fast, but he was also far stronger than his opponent. He numbed the man's gun arm with a viper-strike to the wrist, before lifting him up, and slamming his elbow into the goon's gut, knocking him out. The other goon aimed at Hunter, and said, "Now you die, infidel!" Colleen stepped in front of the terrorist, and said, "Excuse me...but didn't your mum ever tell you that aiming guns at people is dangerous? You might end up getting hurt...especially if you aim guns at my husband." The terrorist smirked, and then he said, "You're married...to THAT mangy fleabag? What do you see in that gutter-dwelling mongrel anyway? He's worthless, ugly, stupid, and not worth the time of day, let alone being loved. I'm surprised his mother even admits to being related to him. In fact...if you had kids, I'd feel sorry for them, having a father like that. They'd be the ugliest things on Earth, along with him." Colleen growled, and shouted, "HOW DARE YOU...YOU WORTHLESS PIG!! DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY HUNTIE, MY KIDS, OR MY FAMILY LIKE THAT, OR I'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK ACROSS THIS BASE, AND YOU'LL END UP LOOKING LIKE A TRUCK RAN YOU OVER!!" The goon replied, "Go ahead and try me, little girl. I am NOT afraid of you!" Colleen replied, "Oh...you WILL be..." The incredibly agile Collie charged forward, and before the stupid goon could blink, Colleen was all over him. She unloaded on her opponent with a lightning-fast series of punches, to the yell of "HIYA...CHUCK NORRIS!! JACKIE CHAN!! JET LI!!" The goon went down like a deflated balloon, and Hunter said, "Nice job, Colleen...we really do make a great team…and an even better married couple." Colleen smiled, and replied, "My thoughts exactly, Huntie. We're like two peas in a pod, and I know that nothing can break us apart, ever." Hunter hugged her, and the two of them then headed off to secure the enemy command post.
'When those soft fingers reach in the end,
Only now, only you, won't that be all you can believe in?
Growing greater, growing softer, I felt I'd be protected
Everyone is breaking down, searching too long for a wish
You're looking for a place where you can land
Wounded, unable to stop shaking
If these murmuring feelings are indeed our reality
We break each other down till we can't even move
Our solitary wings overlapped,
We've not encountered the light;
Reveal the glare this age gives off
With eyes filled with sadness, with each kiss
A heart without even one thing to hold on to
En route to solitude, there is a world losing sight
Things that can change grow frightening
In the deep pulsation that lies ahead
Painted in the exchanged flames, I can see eternity
We break each other down till we can't even move
Our solitary wings overlapped,
We've not encountered the light,
Only the glare this age gives off
I don't fear the power to change
In the deep pulsation that lies ahead
Painted in the exchanged flames
Carry out your destiny!'
Once they'd taken out the guards outside the gate, Hunter and Colleen headed over to the installation's command post. Colleen grabbed one guard from behind, and dropped him with a double-fisted hammer strike to the side of the head. After that, Hunter hacked open the coded lock to the command post, and Colleen kicked the door down. She said, "All of you, face the wall. Try anything stupid, and you'll be sorry." One goon punched the alarm, just before Hunter punched his lights out, and shot out the alarm panel with his Desert Eagle. He jammed the signal from the alarm before it could alert the rest of the base, but six more guards came storming in from the other door. One of them said, "In the name of our mighty leader, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, and the great and mighty Allah, surrender now, American scum, or you will both die!" Hunter replied, "I think you dimwits should be the ones to give up, before Colleen and I show you what we do to goons like you. We don't take kindly to terrorists trying to blow America off the face of the Earth, and I REALLY get angry when you threaten my wife. Get that gun out of her face, BEFORE I REARRANGE YOURS!!" The idiot replied, "I feel so sorry for you, being stuck with that walking throw rug. What do you possibly see in her, aside from a cheap thrill? Ditch that stupid prissy little tramp, so you can actually find happiness in life…what's left of it!" Hunter slammed his fist down on a nearby computer console, and shouted, "YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF TERRORIST SLIME…NOBODY TALKS ABOUT COLLEEN LIKE THAT!! SHE IS NOT A TRAMP, OR A THROW RUG!! AS FOR BEING HAPPY, SHE'S THE BEST FRIEND I'VE GOT, AND I LOVE HER WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY VERY BEING!! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR INSULTING MY ENGLISH ROSE, YOU STUPID GOON!!" Hunter charged straight at the man, and nearly sent him through the wall with a bone-crushing left hook. He kicked the second goon in the gut, before tossing him over his shoulder, and the third one got a rising knee in the side of the head. Colleen took out the fourth one with a knife-hand chop in the neck, number five went down to a spinning crescent kick, and then she spotted the last one aiming at Hunter. She said, "I don't think so, you lousy blighter…HIYA…HOLYFIELD!! ALI!! SUGAR RAY LEONARD!!", and flattened him with a scissor kick.She tied the goons up, before grabbing the folder full of intel documents. She walked back over to join her husband, and then Hunter said, "Thanks Colleen...I'm so glad I married you. You're the best friend that I've ever had, and the most wonderful wife I could ask for. I'll never leave your side, Colleen. I love you, my English Rose." Colleen replied, "I love you too, Huntie-Wuntie...for all the rest of time." They kissed, before heading back outside to join the others.
Blitz fired a grenade from his rifle, and blew a hole in the wall of the mess hall. Seven goons reached for their weapons, but Sam aimed at them, and said, "Don't even think about it. Get down on your hands and knees, hands behind your head. You're all under arrest." One of the goons stood up, and said, "Drop dead, infidel. There's seven of us, and TWO of you, so give up, or you will burn in hell!" Blitz replied, "Don't talk to my wife like that, girly-boy...or I'll bite you so hard, your whole family will feel it." The dumb idiot replied, "Never, you unclean filth-ridden pig! Prepare to die, in the name of Allah!" The goon fired his Ak-47, but the rounds harmlessly pinged off of Blitz's armor. He walked up, and bit the gun in half. He said, "My turn now, girly-boy...LET THE BITING BEGIN!!" He chased the goon into the bathroom, where a loud scream was soon heard, and then Blitz punched the goon out through the door, and into a wall. Sam took down three with a crescent kick, Blitz bashed two of their skulls together. Finally, he tossed the last one into the salad bar, before he and Sam headed off to join the other Rovers.
Shag had joined up with Hunter and Colleen, and he covered them from the outside, while they checked the command post for any intel documents that could be used against Ahmedinejad when he was brought before the United Nations Central Assembly to face charges for his crimes against humanity. He spotted several guards moving in to attack his friends, so he released Muzzle. With a savage snarl, the powerful Rottweiller went berserk inside the parking lot, shredding jeeps, trucks, and tearing soldiers apart. In the meantime, Exile iced a pair of goons, and then four more goons pulled up in a jeep. One of them aimed a 12.7mm machine gun at Exile, and said, "Don't move, dog. If you even twitch, I'll kill you." Kasha growled, and replied, "Do not threaten my husband, or I make you regret day you met me!" She literally lifted the jeep off the ground, turned it over, and shook the goons out. Kasha kicked one in the crotch, Exile gut-punched a second one, Kasha bodyslammed the third one, and the last one got nailed by Muzzle, as the other Rovers linked up. Hunter said, "I think we're done here, Rovers. Good job. Let's head off to our next stop, the supply depot." Exile helped Kasha put Muzzle back in his restraints, and once that was done, and Colleen had checked to make sure that everyone was unharmed, the Rovers set off for the Stealth Rover, and moved out, determined to put an end to Ahmedinejad's plans of a nuclear holocaust.
Next Chapter: The Rovers make their way to the supply depot, where they engage in an all-out session of demolition, sabotage, and butt kicking (or biting, in Blitz's case.) Be here next time, for more of what the Road Rovers are best at, in Chapter Four: Lightning Strike.