a/n Curses to this whole challenge thing, but I digress
a/n For Chapter 3, the RANDOMLY chosen characters: Adrian Monk (Huzzah!) and for his 3rdappearance in three stories, the suspiciously lucky Captain Leland Stottlemeyer. Don't worry folks; there will be an inquiry. I have been rooting for my favorite, Randy Disher, so you know it's not me, folks.
The topic for this "Moment" is Orange Juice. Thanks to BfloGal: a wonderful Monk fan fiction writer and an all around great woman, despite her M/N shipping tendencies, for supplying the topic for today's fic. And this is what she said when I asked her for a topic. "It popped into my head". Seems like fate to me.
Moments Chapter 3: A Moment with Adrian and Leland
By Ann Peek
It all started very innocently enough. But that's how these things usually start, innocently. Adrian Monk was waiting for Captain Stottlemeyer in his office, when he decided to straighten the good captain's desk: and by that, I mean he was angling it perfectly with the walls of his office. That's when he saw it. On the rug, a huge, orange stain, which was hidden from sight by the Captains desk.
Monk wondered how long this stain had been there. Had it been fresh? He took a closer look at the stain. No. Not fresh. But just how old? A week? A year? Had it been during the Sharona Fleming reign? Why had Leland Stottlemeyer never told him? Why hadn't anyone else ever told him? Was there a conspiracy of silence to keep him from demanding the removal of the carpeting? How many other people were in on it?
"Hey, Monk. How are you doing?" Stottlemeyer entered his office in a chipper mood, until he noticed Monk's countenance. "Are you okay?"
"Why don't you tell me?" Was Monk's chilly response.
That was when Stottlemeyer noticed that his office was somehow wrong, but he couldn't place just why it was wrong. It was a little worrying. He looked around the office, expecting something to be out of place, but nothing was.
He noticed Natalie Teeger in the bullpen, chatting with a young officer, and he wished that she would come into the office and figure out what was going on with Monk, because he didn't have time to play guessing games with his troubled friend. 'That's okay, Monk, you just stay there" he said as he got up from his desk intending to retrieve Monk's assistant. "Jeez, my leg!" Stottlemeyer banged his shin against the corner of the desk, and suddenly he realized: That had never happened before. He sat back in his swivel chair and turned. It looked natural, but he was testing a theory. Yeah. He should have been able to reach the case files without rolling at all, but now he had to roll a little to get to them. Everything was just slightly off. He hated it when everything was just slightly off. It was one thing he had in common with Monk, but Leland had a feeling that Monk's compulsion with things being even had something to do with his office being out of whack.
"Monk! What did you do?"
"What did I do?" Monk laughed derisively. "What did you do?"
"I don't know, Monk. Which subject in the huge compilation of phobias did I breach?" Leland said, sarcastically.
"You're not taking this seriously."
"You've got to be kidding. I left you here for 10 minutes and you move my desk? Why…why would you do that? What is it with you and a man's personal property and NOT TOUCHING, MOVING, FIXING, or DISCARDING it, do you not understand? I'd like to know so that I won't have to come back to an office and not know where anything is."
"I may have moved your desk by - lets get real, less than an 2/8ths of an inch - but you've been lying to me, your best friend, remorselessly, for years now. This," Monk motioned with his hands, indicating 'you and I' "has been a lie for I don't know how long."
Leland Stottlemeyer closed his eyes, and swiped his hand down his face. "What are you talking about, Monk. I've never lied to you…."
"I'm talking about a giant, orange lie that has been staining our friendship for years."
Leland laughed. "What are you talking about, Monk?"
"I'm talking about the orange juice stain on the carpet." Monk pointed at the rug. It was big as day, and as ugly as sin to Adrian Monk.
"Monk, I swear to you, I have never seen that stain before in my life."
Monk looked at Stottlemeyer, trying to gage the voracity of the statement, "Where did it come from?"
"I don't know. Randy was shift commander last weekend. Maybe he was using the office and spilled some juice." Leland opened his phone. " I could call him and see."
"No, don't do that." Monk examined the stain again and a smile crossed his face. "So, it's not a secret you've been keeping from me?" Adrian asked.
"No, pal." Leland put his hand on Monk's shoulder, "I'd never keep a secret like that from you."
Both men were now grinning. "Can you get the carpet cleaned, because you know I can't be in here knowing that that disgusting, germ festering stain is under your desk."
"No problem, Monk. Can you leave my stuff alone, because if you touch my stuff again, I'll shoot you."
"Yes." Monk answered. "I'm pretty sure I can…try."
Both men began to head for the door, "Oh, I forgot my gun. I'll meet you at the crime scene," Stottlemeyer said and left Monk to pry Natalie away from her handsome young friend. Leland opened his desk drawer and, moving an empty bottle of orange juice to one side, grabbed his revolver.
The End.
Well, back to humor, but I don't think it's "parody", because, really, I can see this happening. Maybe that's just the hack writer in me.
a/n: I tried to contact the people who posted reviews, as both seemed to be interested in participating in the challenge, but no one responded, so I asked my friend and occasional sparring partner at the USA's Monk Forum to contribute the topic of this chapter's fic. Anyway, maybe next time.
To Tashilover: I've been thinking over the comments that you made on the review page, and I feel like I kind of need to explain why I chose to not write a 'how do you deal with Monk everyday' or 'how did they meet' story. Actually it never occurred to me to write those two stories, but gentle readers; there is a reason for that. When I got the idea to go ahead with this concept, the thing that I wanted to explore is the characters outside of how they operate when they are in 'Monk mode". (Unless, of course, Adrian Monk is in the story, as he was in this fic.) That's why the last thing I would want Dr. Kroger and Stottlemeyer to discuss, when they were off-duty, is Adrian Monk. They might just have interesting lives. And they might have more than Monk in common, for example: their relationships with their teenage sons. I realize it wasn't a full story, which is why I chose to write vignettes instead of an epic. And although I love/adore/admire all things Monkish, the characters don't get to do a lot outside of the "I've got to respond to what Monk is doing at this moment". This is their chance.