A/N: I still haven't gotten that many reviews guys, it makes me feel unloved. This is my first try at Jasper's POV, so I hope I do a good job on it. This will be an Edward chapter, the next one is Bella.
JPOV
2 months, it had been 2 months since Bella had died. 2 months since my brother had spoken, the only thing that assured us that he was still up there were the morbid emotions that flowed freely from behind his locked door.
My whole family was worried, not just for Edward, who they hadn't seen in months, but for me as well. They knew that I could feel everything that Edward was feeling, and they were waiting for me to announce that it had grown to be too much. They were waiting for me to tell them that I was leaving, and to ask Alice to come with me. I think they were all surprised that hadn't happened yet.
Alice and I had talked about it, and I had explained to her my reasons behind staying.
I could still remember the last words Edward had spoken before disappearing into his room, "Jasper," he had said. "If my emotions get too much for you, tell me and I will leave. I will not cause anymore pain in this family." His voice was a dead monotone, and he was not looking at me, but staring blankly at the opposite wall.
Those words had frightened me, I had caught the double-meaning in them and it scared me. I could feel the self-hate coming from his room even now, and I knew it was not safe for him to be away from this family. We, especially Esme, were the only things that had kept him from doing what his heart so wished to do.
Alice and I shared everything with each other, so when she got a vision that she didn't tell me about I got suspicious. That was not like her and I wanted to know what it was about. I headed up the stairs to our room to talk to her; I tried to open the door only to find it locked.
"Alice, open up" I called, knocking louder. I heard muffled sobbing coming from the other side of the door. I panicked, breaking the lock on the door and forcing my way inside. I found her curled up on the bed crying tearlessly. I could feel her sadness and fear.
"Alice what's wrong" I asked her, concerned. "What did you see?"
"Ed-...Edward" she sobbed "He…he asked… Oh Jasper! He asked to die, he asked them to kill him! And…and then he was in pieces… the…the Volturi…they said yes! They killed him Jasper!" She said between sobs, her voice rising hysterically by the end.
"Okay," I said calming her down, "you go and sit in his room with him, don't let him know you saw this, and don't make him suspicious, but don't let him out of your sight. I will go talk to the family about this; they have a right to know."
I watched as Alice ran quickly down the hall and slipped into the last room on the right. I made to turn, but froze as she slid back out. I braced myself for the worst, he had gone, and we were too late.
"I don't think he is going anywhere Jasper, I will have to talk to Carlisle about him later. Let's go and tell them about my vision." She was visibly calmer, just having seen that her brother was still safely in his room.
We walked down the stairs into the family room, and I called for them all to come down. They were there in seconds, all except Edward of course. Rosalie was slightly annoyed at being pulled from her garage, the rest were curious and slightly concerned.
Alice explained her vision to them, by the end she was sobbing again, along with Esme. Rosalie and Emmett were shocked, and slightly angry, in Rosalie's case, but Carlisle just shook his head resignedly. Our eyes met, and I offered him a half-shrug.
"How can you two be so calm about this? Our brother is going to kill himself!" Emmett yelled.
Carlisle and I answered together, "It was only a matter of time." I continued, "I can feel his emotions remember, honestly I thought this would have happened much sooner. Especially lately, I think last night did it." I looked at Esme who was confused, but that confusion slowly turned to understanding then quickly reformed as horror.
"Oh, no. Please tell me that, that song we listened to last night, on the radio…" she trailed off crying again.
"Yes, that was the song they danced to at their wedding. I asked you to turn it off as soon as I realized why he was in so much pain, but nothing changed. I think that was the final blow." I said, a fresh wave of sadness came from upstairs at the mention of the wedding, and I winced in pain. Alice put her arm around me, but Esme looked up toward our brother's room and moaned softly.
"What is he feeling Jasper?" Esme asked, I only shook my head.
"You don't want to know Esme."
"NO!" her tone caught me off guard, and I recoiled, "You will show me what my son is feeling, I know you can, and I want to know." She left no room for argument, so I complied. I eased into the emotions coming from the room upstairs, and focused on the pain first.
When I was pointedly ignoring his emotions, they were not as bad, but when I focused in on them they were nearly unbearable. Before I was halfway done, Esme began screaming. It felt like I had been stabbed in the head with a knife. I let up on the pain as soon as the first scream left her mouth, and once everything was quiet again I said,
"That was only half of what he is feeling at the moment. He is feeling emotional and physical pain; I don't really know how he is feeling physical pain, I didn't think vampires could get hurt. I hope I didn't hurt anyone!" I felt extremely guilty for going along with my mother's request, I should have told her 'no'.
"I don't believe it…" she trailed off, lost for words. "What else?"
"Self hatred and an astounding amount of loneliness and loss. That's why I have been expecting Alice's vision for a while now, I'm surprised that it hasn't come any sooner. I think he only held out this long out of respect for our family's wishes, he gets waves of guilt every once in a while, that's probably what that is about."
"Why don't you leave for awhile son?" Carlisle asked me, "It can't be good for you to get all those negative emotions all the time."
I shared his parting words to me with my family, and the implied meaning behind them that was only confirmed by my wife's vision. My family agreed that it was best for me to stay, at least for a while.
"Hey guys," Emmett spoke up suddenly, "Umm… if Edward is suicidal now, why isn't someone watching him, to make sure he doesn't, you know, run off?" He finished kind of lamely.
"Oh he isn't going anywhere, and I need to talk to you about that Carlisle." Alice said, "Can a vampire starve themselves?" Almost as soon as the words had left her mouth Carlisle was up the stairs, with me behind him. He reached my brother's room before me, and I heard a low murmur.
"Oh God." I burst into the room after my father, and saw my brother lying across his couch.
Edward's fevered onyx eyes shone at us through the dim light. The bones in his face stuck out unnaturally from the hollowed, gaunt face. I could count every rib in my brother's exposed chest, and there were no muscles left in his arms. His eyes closed again almost lazily, if I hadn't known better, I would have thought he had gone to sleep.
"Keep Esme out." Carlisle said, "Then go hunting with your brother, bring back something big."
I returned downstairs, not meeting either my mother's or my wife's gaze. "Emmett, we're going hunting." He didn't question me, or make a joke. Kissing Rose goodbye, he followed me into the backyard without complaint.
He didn't speak until we came to a stop in our baseball clearing, "That bad huh?" He asked me.
"You have no idea, it was… terrifying, that a vampire could look so weak. At least it makes sense, that's why I sent out physical pain instead of emotional to Esme." What I had seen was beyond words, I could understand why he just wanted it all to end, and I really couldn't blame him. That didn't mean I was going to let him do that to our family though, that would kill Esme. "I can't believe we forgot that he needed blood," I sighed, mentally smacking myself. We had gone hunting many times as a family in the last months, but Edward was always absent.
"I figured he was slipping out and grabbing something, so that's what's wrong with him?"
"Yeah," I ran a hand through my hair, "I should have realized, I mean I am the empath of the family. I should have noticed." Emmett threw a huge arm around my shoulders.
"Lets just get him something fast, and get back. Beating yourself up over it isn't going to help him out any." We found a large bear and brought it back in record time, Emmett followed me up to Edward's room.
Emmett took one look at our brother, and reeled back "HOLY SHIT!" it was loud, especially for vampires.
Carlisle quickly said, "Jasper, get the door." But it was too late, we were quickly joined by the three girls. Alice and Esme immediately burst into tearless sobs. Rosalie's reaction was much like Emmett's, though she used a different explicative.
I ushered them out, and closed the door behind me. After firmly locking it, I turned back to watch as they tried to get Edward to eat. They were waiting, rather awkwardly, for him to attack the already dead bear, but he was making no move toward the creature.
I could still feel the girl's panic, and I didn't blame them. Edward's eyes were once again closed, and he lay still as a statue. Since he didn't have a pulse and was not breathing, he really looked dead lying there on his couch.
Emmett asked "Why isn't he attacking it yet?"
"He isn't strong enough to move, you will have to take the blood to him." I answered automatically.
We lowered the giant bear to his mouth, and I made a small cut in its neck, and the blood began to drip into Edward's open mouth. It took a minute to respond, but once he had swallowed the first drops of blood, he was able to bite down on the bear's neck. As he drained the animal, his face began to
fill out again. The muscles on his arms became apparent, and his ribs no longer looked ready to pierce through his granite skin.
When he had finished he looked up at us and gratitude that was not my own filled me. His eyes were still black, but it wasn't from thirst now. He bore a burden that no one should have to bear, but that many do, and I expected that his eyes would be no color but black for a very long time. He nodded his head to us, and then turned on his couch, facing the wall.
It was a silent thank you, and it needed no answer. I motioned to the others, and they followed me back downstairs to the still sobbing Esme. Alice and Rose were trying to comfort her, but their grief was making it hard.
"Oh My God," Alice said, "When I looked in there before, I just saw that he was alive and thin, but I never expected that."
"Is he okay?" Esme asked frantically as soon as we entered the room.
"Yes, we gave him blood, and he returned to his old self, more or less. He thanked us for it, but I don't think it will change anything much." I answered.
Emmett scoffed, "Thanked us? He didn't thank us, he didn't even make a sound, just nodded and turned over."
"You didn't feel his gratitude, you're not the empath. Anyway, what did you expect, you do remember how he was before…" I didn't really finish the sentence knowing he was probably listening, but they all understood that I meant before Bella.
Edward had always been distant with the family. He was a little young for a vampire at only 17, Alice was second at 19, but the rest of us were in our twenties. He had never really fit into the family, being the only one without a mate, and he had spent a lot of time in his room. He spoke politely, but usually only when he was spoken to first, and he wouldn't let anyone touch him, not even Esme.
"It's going to be much worse now, much, much worse." I finished.
"I don't think any of us really understood the depth of their relationship, did we?" Carlisle asked.
"I knew that it was much stronger than anything I had ever felt, but I didn't know it was this strong. I wasn't there when he left the first time, he went somewhere else to wallow, but I can't imagine it was as bad as this. How could it be?"
"My poor son, I wish there was something I could do for him!" Esme wailed.
Carlisle put an arm around her and said, "So do I Esme, so do I."
A/N: So how do you like it so far, did I do a good job of Jasper's point of view, did I get Edward's reaction right? Review and let me know how you feel, and what should happen to Bella in the meantime, I have a few ideas… but you'll have to wait for the next chapter where I will be switching to Bella's point of view, along with a new character, Zachary! REVIEW PLEASE!!
TheMainThingIsNotToPanic
