This Means War Chapter 3, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, never have, never will. –Sobs–

Oh! Oh! Oh! First day back at school! LOL! Yeah I'm sad that the July winter hollies are over but this terms like what? 10 weeks to go til the next hollies? Oh yeah!

OK! Fun news! I almost crashed my Dad's car when I wasn't driving! You people are probably wondering how and what not, so I was looking at the clouds through the windows when I suddenly yelled "Mummy! Mummy! Look! Look! That cloud looks like a elephant!!" …So my dad almost crashed the car because I yelled and he thought it was something important…

In other news, I will try to update weekly but I know this will all end badly…

Chapter 3 -BPOV

"Bella, I dare you to do a little strip tease for us," Edward grinned.

"That's it?" I scoffed. There was no way he just wanted me to do a strip tease.

"Oh my dear, Bella, offcourse not!" he gasped. "You, my lovely, Bella, are going to do a little strip tease outside of Town Hall to 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry. Oh, and you can pick Alice or Rosalie to join you."

"Oh, sweet!" Bella cheered. "Rose, join me please?"

"Oh yeah! I'm so in!" Rosalie cheered, punching the air. This I knew wasn't the reaction he was after, but I defiantly wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. No way in hell I was.

"Well then let's go!" Emmett boomed. Edward grabbed the CD player and quickly made a mix CD with the songs and then left for the car. I figured to ride there would be fun because Alice had a little grin on her face, and a grinning Alice can only be fun, right?

APOV

The drive to Town Hall was anything but quiet. I think the guys wished it was considering the conversations. Too bad I planned to make this trip for them as uncomfortable as possible.

"Do you know what I hate, girls?" I asked.

"What?" Bella and Rosalie said together.

"Period pains." I said simply. I could almost hear the guys groan inwardly and I had to try really hard not to giggle.

"Ugh! Don't get me started, Al." Rosalie grunted, scrunching her eyes, remembering how they hurt.

"Worst thing EVER!" Bella said, banging her head on the headrest.

"What do you, girls do?" I asked. I knew the guys were trying to tune it out but I figured a little lesson on girls would help their understanding of us girls.

"Hot water bottle," Bella said. "Natural all the way!"

"Yeah, that's what I do, too!" Rosalie said, hi-fiving Bella. "But when I can't use it, I use Panadol or Nurofen."

"Same here!" I chirped. The guys weren't the only ones learning here, I was learning from by best friends ever. "Oh my god! Don't you hate it when you feel like having the weirdest foods?"

"Oh god I hate that!" Bella said, scrunching her eyes. I totally remember when she only wanted blue jelly beans and chicken feet. (A/N: And don't you be dissing chicken feet! They're yummy…)

"I remember one time; I was like, sooo craving a choc chip cookie and a potato." Rosalie laughed

"A potato?" I scoffed. "I remember one –

"Enough already!" Emmett shouted from the driver seat. "No more period pain talk!"

"Yeah, ok." I giggled, and the other girls joined, too. We had succeeded in pissing off the guys, and now to take it a step further… and I think Bella caught the idea to do that…

"Oh my gosh!" Bella gushed. "Let's go get ourselves a vampire!"

"Oh my gosh!" I gushed, following Bella's lead. "Let's get a ware-wolf as well!"

"In separate cages, remember?" Rosalie said. "If you put them in the same cage, they'd kill each other."

"Oh, well that would be a shame." Bella said sadly.

"Yeah, if they kill each other, then we won't be able to have our way with them." I said, pretending to be deep in thought.

"That's why you put them in separate cages and do each of them separately, unless they're in for a threesome." Rosalie said. I figured the guys were getting uncomfortable because I could see them fidgeting and it was really funny.

"Could be a foursome, too, you know." Bella pointed out. Ah I love this girl for egging them on.

"Oh, smart girl!" Rosalie praised. "I like the way you think." I liked the way she thought, too.

"Aww, don't leave me out!" I whined, sneaking a peek at Jasper, he was about to crack.

"Don't worry we'll just –

"Can you girls just stop?!" Jasper shouted. I almost burst out laughing from that outburst. "This is getting to me!" (A/N: I seem to use 'burst' a lot don't I?)

"Aww, don't worry, Jazz, I wouldn't leave you out of something like that." I said. "Offcourse you're invited!"

"Alice –

"We're here!" Emmett hollered.

"Awesome!" Bella cheered. "Let's go, Rose!"

We all climbed out of the car, and ran straight to the statue near Town Hall when I saw him; it was then where I devised a plan. I called Jacob making sure they guys didn't see me and told him the plan and when to jump in and have his little fun.

RPOV

Now it was time to have fun with the boys…

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

We were first dancing and swaying to the music when Bella finally took off her top and I followed suit. Alice's plan was to make the guys as horny as possible and so it would begin…

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

I turned to Bella signalling it was time to put the plan to action. I grabbed Bella and made it look like we were making out and it actually made the guys horny when I peaked at them from under Bella's hair.

"The guy's seem… happy." I giggled into Bella's ear.

"Oh fun," she giggled back. "I think we should resurface."

"Aww, but it was getting fun." I pouted playfully, braking away from her.

No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game
Just human nature
It's not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I almost went green after doing a scan of the crowd that had seemed to have gathered around us I saw that almost all the guys were...um… very… happy. I even saw a few with their hands down their pants. And I think Edward saw that too because he was looking at them with an I'm-gonna-throw-up face, well it was that, or it was a I-am-going-to-murder-you-dicks-for-even-looking-at-my-girlfriend face.

Just as the verse ended a familiar face came out of the crowd to join us. His eye's were SOOO glued to Bella's ass it wasn't funny. But then again… watching Edward's face was priceless.

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

Bella and I were down to our last bits of clothes, meaning we were in our undies and bras. The guys could NOT take their eyes off of Bella, I mean if I were a guy I would probably do the same.

BPOV

I was so relieved that the song was finally over that I practically skipped over to Edwards loving arms where he kissed me, though I was the first to break the kiss by giggling.

"What?" he asked me, he was genuinely confused so I giggled again. "What is it?"

"We match." I giggled, and he looked down realising that he was still in the bikini. he laughed, too, and then Jacob came along to spoil the moment.

"Hey… can I um… uh… get um…" he stuttered, I knew what he wanted and me being the smart ass I am, found loop hole.

"A phone number?" I suggested and he nodded his head eagerly. Edward looked like he was going to pound the poor guy for having the nerve to actually come up and ask. "Sure, give me your phone." I sad, and Jacob quickly obliged and pulled out a mobile phone which I took, punched in some numbers and handed it back.

"Thanks." Jacob said.

"Don't worry about it. Call that number any time, kay babe?" I said, winking at him.

"Sure will." Jacob said, winking back then walked away. Edward looked stunned to what I just did, poor Edward was just too slow.

"Bella! How could you?" he gasped, finally.

"He did wante a phone number, so I gave him one." I said simply, he didn't understand what I meant until Alice spoke up.

"Whose number did you give him?" Alice asked.

"Gave him Jessica Stanley's mobile." Bella smirked, and Alice burst out laughing while Edward stood there dumbstruck.

"Hey, let's go!" Emmett shouted. The reply was a chorus of 'yeah's 'sure's and 'whatever's.

The ride back was more peaceful than the ride there, because the Rose and I were so tired we fell asleep in the car. I was half asleep in Edward's lap when I felt a slight bulge in his pants. I would have a lot of fun when we got home. o.O

Ok, that was it... Sorry that I took so long to update, feel free to abuse me in any way…

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Until next time…