OK guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while. And short chapter I know. I'm going to try and finish this before next week, because I'm going on holiday then.
Confession
Spinelli didn't know what to do. TJ's speech about her head and her heart had just made her even more confused. She understood the first part- Byron was her head, and TJ was her heart- well, TJ didn't know that, but it was still true. But she had no idea how to choose.
She could imagine the looks of disappointment on her family's faces if she chose not to marry Byron. She would hate that. She could imagine how smug her older brother, Joey would be- he followed the family tradition of having an arranged marriage, and so their parents would favour him even more than they did already. Spinelli could imagine her parents shake their heads at her and saying, "Why can't you just be more like Joey?" The thought made her sick.
She hated being compared to Joey. But on the other hand, she couldn't stand Byron. She couldn't imagine being married to him. He would expect her to do everything he ordered, and Byron was a perfectionist, if she didn't get it just right Byron might hit her again. For all she knew the violence could get worse, he could end up killing her. Or maybe he'd try to kill her, and she'd end up killing him trying to defend herself, and spend the rest of her life in a jail cell. The thought also made her sick.
The decision hung over her like a rain-cloud. It made her miserable for the rest of the week.
On the night of her hen-party, Spinelli didn't feel like partying- she was still glum. Her, Gretchen, Ashley A and Kurst (although they were both quite nice now, this time ten years ago she would have thought it an extremely weird combination) were sitting in a bar. Spinelli was ordering drink after drink after drink in hope that the drinks would take away her sorrows, take away the weight on her shoulders that was the awful decision she was faced with.
It didn't work.
Gretchen was smart- hey, she invented the time machine- and she knew something was up with Spinelli. So, as soon as Kurst and Ashley announced they were going to the bathroom, she decided to find out exactly what it was.
"Is everything alright, Spinelli?"
"What do you think," Spinelli said sourly.
"Well, what is the problem?"
"I'm being forced to marry a jerk I don't even love."
"What do you mean, forced? You don't have to marry him if you don't want to, Spinelli. It's entirely your decision."
"I mean forced, Gretchen. It's an arranged marriage. My parents are making me marry him."
Gretchen was shocked. Spinelli and Byron had always seemed so… happy. She couldn't believe that they didn't even love each other, they were just getting married because their parents were making them.
"But- why would they do that?"
"Some dumb family tradition."
Spinelli was completely unaware that she was telling Gretchen everything. Only her, TJ, Byron, her family and Byron's family knew about it, and Spinelli had never liked the idea of other people knowing her marriage was arranged. But she was so drunk, she had no control over what she was saying.
Her next words proved that.
"I don't even want to marry Byron. I don't even love him. I'm in love with TJ."
Gretchen's jaw dropped. So it was true then. She'd always known that TJ had feelings for Spinelli, even though he'd always insisted to the people from middle school who thought they were dating that they were just friends. But now Spinelli was openly admitting to having feelings back? Gretchen was so gobsmacked she couldn't even think of what else to ask Spinelli. But as a scientist, and as Spinelli's friend, she had some more investigation to do.
"Um- how long have you had feelings for him?"
"Since kindergarten."
"Are you seeing him? You know- secretly."
"Nope." Spinelli sighed. "The guy doesn't know I'm in love with him. No one does. Oh god Gretchen, please don't tell him. I'd die if he knew. He doesn't feel anything for me."
"How do you know that? Do you have proof?"
"I just do, Gretchen."
"But how?"
"I just do!"
Gretchen sighed and thought of something else. "So what are you going to do? Marry Byron?"
"Well, that's the thing," Spinelli said. "TJ knows I'm in love with someone. He just doesn't know it's him. And he made this big speech about having to choose between my head and my heart. My head is telling me I should do what my family wants me to do and marry Byron. If I married him, you know, he's rich and everything, I'd never have to worry about debt or anything for the rest of my life. But I hate him, and I always have done. Because he's not TJ, Gretchen. He's just not TJ."
"You don't seem happy at all, Spinelli."
It was in that moment Spinelli made up her mind, even though she was completely drunk.
"I'm not. But even if I don't marry Byron, I still won't be. I want TJ, but I can't have him. He doesn't love me back. If I don't marry Byron, I'll have no money and no family, and I still won't be with the one I love, because I know that TJ doesn't have feelings for me."
Well, Gretchen thought. We'll see about that.
Gretchen realised then that the whole thing rested on her shoulders. TJ's happiness. Spinelli's happiness. Them admitting their feelings to each other. It was up to her now.