Good Morning Naruto!
A/N: Why hello there Naruto fanfiction readers :D
I bring you more fanfiction goodness!
This story comes with a pretty heavy disclaimer, because I hardly even own the original idea for the story. I based it off of Karin, and I also had a strange dream about it the other night, so I decided to type up a chapter or two, and see what the response was!
Naruto represents Karin in this story, and I'm pretty sure that's the only character that shows any resemblence to the other characters. It's very loosely based on Karin, but I just though I should very clearly state that I do not own Naruto, or Karin, or the concepts I am borrowing for my own enjoyment :D
P.S. This story contains heavy yaoi, mpreg themes, and very unexplainably odd behavior from your favorite characters.
If you can't handle those three (and probably many more, such as the very smutty nature of this story in general) I suggest you just leave. Don't bother scrolling down past my hours of typing and editing to hit the review button telling me how Sasuke and Sakura 4ever be teh OTP, or how mpreg is so lyke... totally wrong OMG take it out!!
No.
I don't type like that nor do I appreciate having to decode that crap. I'm asking you nicely to leave now, because believe me, I will not let it rest if you ignored this entire paragraph as well. You will forever be the target of my malice and anger, as well as my posterchild for ignorance and blantent stupidity.
So have fun and don't let my foul mood ruin yours :D
I'm still smiling! You should be too :D
SUPEREDIT!!: Not really, but a big big thanks to Emotionless Regret for telling me what the Yondaime's real name was, because I just assumed here, and some people were probably a little concerned as to who the new guy was. Hopefully all kinks are worked out!
Naruto groaned when the sunlight filtered through his window, the only window in the house that his parents let him leave without the heavy black curtains that adorned the rest of the house.
His mother and father were a little different. Naruto was a little different as well, but he didn't let it get in the way of his everyday life. After all, he was the heir to the entire demon race, and he did have a vampire for a mother, making him the only child of the two purebred races.
Naruto groaned, and pulled his curtains shut, knowing very well his parents hated when he left them open all night, and his mother was bound to come barging in at any moment to send him off to the academy.
His mother had quite a reputation in Konoha, which was one of the five mythological 'retreats' as they could be called. All sorts of nightwalkers sought refuge in Konoha's walls, as well as the brave few humans who didn't mind offering up small amounts of their blood to the hungry underworld.
But Naruto's mother… Wasn't exactly the most emblematic mother. She was a he, and he was the Yondaime Hokage, retired of course, as was his father (the fearsome and retired demon monarch, the Kyuubi!). They lived in a lovely home with its own training ground, and more demon guards then Naruto had ever been able to count, but he wasn't complaining, he wasn't like his parents.
Naruto didn't get nasty sunburns on his pale skin when he walked around the sun, which most vampire's (and half-breeds of course) tended to suffer from.
And everyone hates nasty sunburns, especially the ones that cause your blemish free skin to peels for days on end, revealing even more pale skin more prone to even more sever sunburns… It was a tough life being a vampire, so they mostly stuck to the night walking they were so well known for.
Naruto also didn't have a demon form like the purebreds do, (even though his father told him that once he comes of age, all that will change…) as demons are born in their demon-form, and remain in that stage until they come of age, though it was somehow reversed in Naruto's situation.
He was content doing the shopping during the day, and attending the day academy with the more sun-resistant inhabitants, and sleeping through the noises his parents emitted during the night, as well as the cries of singing human blood.
"Naruto… Are you awake yet, you lazy bum! Get up or you'll be late for academy!" Arashi pounded on Naruto's door, but dared not enter and endanger his flawless complexion. The little Halfling knew that if he didn't obey his mother's first warning of academy, he would be doomed to face his father's wrath, who would no doubt rip the door from it's hinges and toss the child out the window ("He needed to build some character!" Kyuubi later explained to his irate wife, but the Yondaime did not look convinced.)
Naruto grudgingly got out of bed, slipping out of his night clothes and into the accursed orange jumpsuit his parents had mistakenly bought the child as a joke. They never expected their son to actually wear the horrid color, or even like it, but he did. And until Kyuubi would step up and be a man, in Naruto's possession the jumpsuit stayed.
"I wonder if Sakura will say yes if I ask her out today!" Naruto gave his trademark fox grin, as he adjusted his clothing in the full-length mirror his mother had given him.
Another common misconception that vampires had no reflections was indeed false. They had reflections, but were unbearably fussy over their appearances, and mix that with the unnaturally short tempers, and you have quite a big mess on your hands. Lots of broken glass and bad luck all around!
Naruto decided today would be a good day to practice the stealth he had learned in the ninja academy he was attending, just to see if his parents were still as sharp as they had once been, soundlessly slipping from his room and noiselessly shutting the door.
'I can't wait to see their faces!' Naruto laughed inside his head, knowing that if he made any noise once he left his room, his cover was blown.
As little Naruto crept closer and closer to the stairs leading him down into the kitchen, he heard some familiar but unwelcome sounds.
"Uhh, Kyuubi! Stop that! What is Naruto hears us?" Arashi moaned out, between gasps for air and the distinctive sound of lips meeting as one party was pressed firmly against the kitchen table.
Naruto's hand reflexively flew to his mouth, to repress the urge to vomit or gasp, he wasn't too sure, but something definitely was working its way up.
There was a surge inside Naruto's body, triggered by the blush rapidly darkening his cheeks, and it was unstoppable now.
"GAHH!!! YOU PERVERTS!" Naruto roared out as the torrent of blood poured freely from his nose.
One would think, that as a vampire, nosebleeds would not be one thing that they were 'a little ticked to be bleeding all over the place.'
It would be logical to infer that a vampire would be a little less then calm in a situation where their precious and tiny amount of blood was escaping through their nose. But not Naruto. Never Naruto… He was different.
"He is bleeding all over the jumpsuit! Thank Kami! This is my lucky day!" Kyuubi howled, laughing hysterically while his son looked on with horror and disgust. He was covered in his own blood, which had poured like a waterfall from his nose, due to his parent's little morning PDA.
Said parents were standing at the bottom of the stairs, unfazed by their half-vampire half-demon son's incredible amount of blood loss.
"I always said that his Polycythemia would do less harm then good one day!" Arashi laughed alongside his husband, waiting for their son to explain to them the cause for such an unexpected surprise, no doubt leaving Naruto to miss out on the day academy.
"If you two didn't have to screw every time I turned my back, this wouldn't happen! I wouldn't bleed all over the house if it wasn't for you two old perverts!" Naruto growled out something about buying a new jumpsuit, and something that might have meant shower, with a side of "late for academy, you disgusting old men…"
When their son had turned on the shower, hopefully drowning out all outside noise, Kyuubi turned and pinned Arashi to the wall, attacking his neck with little love bites, obviously learning (or remembering) nothing about his open displays of affection within a ten mile radius of their son.
"We need to.. ahh! Clean up that… Ow! That one hurt! That… blood, before the smell wakes the nightwalkers…" Arashi placed his hands on his husband's shoulder, gently pushing him away and directing him towards the massive puddle of blood their son had left behind.
"It's bigger this time; he must be producing more blood then before…" Kyuubi sighed, grabbing a couple rags, some disinfectant, and a mop from the hallway closet.
Instead of storing coats and other practical things in their coat closet, the Uzumaki family stored all the biological waste cleanup materials any hospital in the entirety of Konoha, and the neighboring lands could ever collect. Polycythemia, the overproduction of red blood cells, was what made Naruto a day walker and set him apart from the other vampires of Konoha. His skin wasn't delicate due to the lack of available blood; he actually had a nice healthy tan, underneath the horrid outfits he chose for himself.
Naruto's condition was caused by something neither Kyuubi nor Arashi had been able to foresee, but it was also unfortunately incurable. Demon blood and vampire blood do interesting things when mixed together, and in Naruto's case, cured him of the vampire's strongest obstacle, but no doubt, providing him with another.
"Pretty soon he is gonna have to discover his taste and go out into the night! We can't keep almost having sex on the kitchen table every morning to rid him of the excess blood. I mean, for Kami's sake, we EAT at that table!" The Yondaime sighed, tossing another rag into the metal bucket they would surely have to burn later. Naruto's blood was indeed special, lacking both blood-typing antibodies and antigens, one of the easiest ways ("and cleanest ways!" Kyuubi interrupted his wife's train of thought, using his super awesome secret demon jutsu, much to Arashi's dismay…) was to simply inject it into another human through the use of his fangs, eliminating the excess and restoring a healthy balance.
"Yeah, but you want my body… Don't deny it mister Hokage…" Kyuubi waggled his eyebrows suggestively, before snapping his fingers and igniting the metal pale full of bloodied rags on fire. "Maybe his demon half is prevailing and he won't have a taste… He might just go on rage-fueled rampages and destroy little villages? You never know deary! It is awful therapeutic."
Arashi simply gave his husband a long, dark glare before tossing the flaming bucket to a guard to be buried, far far away from Uzumaki household.
"Naruto still has to become an adept shinobi before he can succeed either one of us, no demon will respect a little Halfling who can't intimidate his subjects…" Arashi knew the argument was going to end with hot, nasty sex, probably on the floor, or maybe in the master bathroom, so the retired Hokage believed it was best to make the most of irritating his husband before the unrelenting sex drive of his Kyuubi took control.
"And of course, you aren't implying that our son won't receive the power he needs when he comes of age? Because if that's the case, we need to make another son who will!" Kyuubi laughed grabbing the Yondaime and tossing him over his shoulder, the demon always won, being the naturally dominant and incredibly irresistible beast he was, but Arashi wasn't complaining.
He wouldn't be complaining until tomorrow morning when he couldn't walk very well.
And no doubt tomorrow would be the say the current Hokage would call him to the tower to discuss something incredibly time consuming and uncomfortable for his poor rump.
But he wasn't complaining now and now was happening, whether he was ready or not!
HR
Naruto grumbled to himself as he finished washing the remains of incredibly strong smelling blood off his body. He was saturated, perhaps even oversaturated by the time he had been able to peel his clothing off for a shower, of course making him miss the morning academy for the day walkers.
Iruka-sensei didn't teach the night classes, and Naruto wasn't really in the mood to find out who did, especially after the ordeal his parent's had put him through earlier.
"Stupid perverted parents always having sex in the morning just because they don't care what time it is…" Naruto was a bit shocked to feel a sticky layer of blood coating his normally soft golden spikes he called hair.
"I won't even make it early enough to be considered late!" Naruto cursed, angrily snatching the shampoo off the cute little fox shelf his father had installed in the days of Naruto's youth to keep the child away from any and all soaps, as he had a bad habit of eating everything. And he would eat anything.
After about ten minutes of fussing with his hair, Naruto had decided that all of the blood had been effectively removed, as he could no longer smell it over the nauseating smell of the shampoo his mother insisted on buying.
"Blonde expressions…" Naruto commented idly, as he turned the bottle over and over again in his hands, waiting for the remains of the soap to rinse out of his hair. "This bottle looks and sounds like I'm using girly shampoo…"
But Naruto's parents were nicer then that… right? They wouldn't play pranks when it came to his personal hygiene, right…?
Arashi's head popped in the bathroom door, with a smug looking Kyuubi leaning against the wall in the hall.
"Wrong!"
The door slammed as fast as it had been opened (Naruto swore he locked that door…), leaving one very naked and angry Halfling yelling obscenities after his immature and perverted parents.
(At least we all know where he gets it from.)
Naruto growled, after his parent's locked him out of their bedroom, which just so happened to be the master (with its own bathroom and mini bar, it could be awhile until his parent's manned up to face their son…)
"I guess I'm going to night class then…" Naruto sighed, finally remembering that he had chased his parents around naked and left the shower running.
...It was just another normal day in the Uzumaki household…
A/N: So incase you were wondering. Yes, there was mpreg already discussed in the story (and where did you think baby Naruto came from? The stork? Get real...) There are open displays of yaoi, and many more to come, with a naive Naruto to round it all out. Everyone is going to be incredibly OOC, so if any of the afformentioned ideas bother you, I would suggest leaving and never coming back, because this is the tip of the iceberg for the perverted humor/drama/adventure known as Right on Top. And if the title didn't give it away, this is going to be a pretty dirty (and rather comical) story. And if this is all news to you, please scroll back up to the top and read that lovely paragraph I typed for you to ignore. We on the same page now? Good :D
Feedback is ever so lovely! Give me your thoughts :D