The Young and Stupid
Chapter 7 – A Unique Tragedy
Milica Bellic reread the final paragraph of her son's letter. Away from critical eyes which might coerce her into stoicism, she wept freely.
Sitting at the table where both her sons had eaten a few months before, she felt the weight of her loneliness. Her sons' belongings remained littered about the house, too stinging to touch. She had covered most of the windows, living in an almost perpetually dim environment. Emotionally, she was deteriorating even further than she had thus far.
She was too stricken to speculate on the matter, but it had been something of a wonder that she had not killed herself in her grief. The day her sons were taken from her, she was driven into frenzied insanity, far beyond any sense of rationality. She had cleaned Aleksandar's body that evening with the help of her mother, who had immediately come from her home in nearby Kragujevac when called by a panicked neighbor to Milica.
Milica herself remembered little of the day, but she could afterwards detect traces of Aleksandar's blood stained into the floor and wall, leading her to darken the house to the point of near blackness.
A young neighboring family, the father of whom was also taken away to the war, brought food to her every day, and had once even coaxed her out of her house to have dinner with them. The woman, in her early twenties and with two very young children of her own, was heartbroken at Milica's sudden loss, and did her best to show her some compassion. Milica, despite her inconsolable mourning, was nevertheless quite grateful to the woman.
Though still far from stable, Milica still found some solace in the hope that Niko still lived. When the neighbor's children brought a letter from Niko after two months of despair, Milica was overwhelmed with emotion. That her son was alive was enough to cause her to thank God for the first time since the beginning of the war.
However, just as she was unimaginably relieved at her son's survival, she was at once heartbroken upon reading Niko's letter.
Mother,
I am alright and alive. I went through training for a few weeks and they sent me to fight. I have thought a lot about you and Aleksandar. It is scary to be out here. Soldiers are trying to kill us, and we are trying to kill soldiers. Mother, the other day, I killed three men. I executed them myself. I shot them and they died. I didn't want to do it but I had to. The captain says I am doing the right thing, but I know this is just more government lies. I have killed innocent people, and I will probably kill more before I come home. But I don't know if I'm coming home. I'm sorry to worry you mother, but I am scared, and I can't
talk about it around the others. I just want to come home and go to school or go work on the old father's field. I don't want to fight the war anymore. I miss you, I hope I will come home soon.
Love,
Your son Niko.
She was in tears by the end of the letter. Her poor child had been forced out of his youth. He was doing things men should do, and he was far from being a man. She sobbed, clutching the letter to her bosom. Both of her sons had been killed.