Chapter 3- following me home

"Alice, I can't just talk to him." Sobbing now, I decided to finish.

"He, no wait, all of you left me a year ago. He broke my heart by saying he did't love me. I will not just let him walk back into my life that easily." I stopped to dry up my tears, allowing Alice to cut in.

"I understand Bella, but at least give him a chance."

"No!" I yelled "Do you know how it feels for the only person you have ever loved to tell you he doesn't't love you back anymore?" I screamed crying harder now.

"No I don't but…"

"Alice you don't get it. Letting him back in, may end up killing me more. I cry every night, I lost my job, now I'm a stripper for crying out loud. My life went to shit so fast that I am still dealing with the aftermath you all left me in. Now he wants back into my life, I don't think so. Not anytime soon." After saying that I saw that Alice was having a vision, I knew that it was about Edward and I only because she was smiling.

"Bella, were not leaving you ever again. Please believe me!" She whispered and gave me those pleading eyes.

"Sorry Alice, I don't, I can't. not yet at least. Now please leave, I want to go home.

"Kay, I will see you tomorrow, Bella. I promise you that." She said while exiting my truck. I watched her leave and turned around and drove home.

As I turned onto the highway leading back to Forks, I noticed bright lights following me, I could only guess who that could be. Another nightmare was coming my way and I could do nothing to stop it. My life had become something that I couldn't control, something that I didn't want to. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and let sleep succumb me. The shiny silver Volvo pulled next to me and we raced down the highway. Edward rolled down his window and motioned me to pull over on to the shoulder, I shook my head no, and we raced on!

I wasn't going to pull over illegally for him, plus, I was still broken and pissed, about EVERYTHING! About how he left, about how he decided to come back, and most of all how I still wanted, so badly, to run into his arms 

and kiss him, feel his hands on my waist, and loose myself in him, but that was out of the question, right?

Edward followed me all the way back to Charlies. As I got out of the car ready to sprint, he was already blocking my way to the house!

"DAMMIT BELLA!! I'm suffering as much as you are! But, I need you to talk to me!! It wasn't the first time Edward had started yelling in front of me, but it was the first time he yelled at me. The look in his eyes as we starred at each other, was something I had never seen before. The look of a man who was , apologetic, furious, and most of all broken, just like me!

"What if I say no!" I didn't want to say no, and at the end I knew that I would end up saying OK, but I wasn't going done without a fight!

"Then your not going inside, and if I may add Charlie is quite upset about the little stunt you pulled earlier today," Damn Edward and his ability to read minds!

"FINE! Meet me in my room, I need to talk to Charlie before he commits me to the nut house!" Then there it was! The smile that brought meaning to my life, the smile I would cross through fire, or swim the entire ocean for, the crooked smile!

I entered the house and Charlie came rushing towards me, probably about to ground me, but I stopped and held up my hand.

"Dad, before you tell me how stupid and irresponsible I am, please just let me say, your right, I am sorry, and I found a new job in Port Angeles."

"Oh, Uh, right well, What's the job?" I really hoped he wouldn't ask that but I was prepared, "The book store, I'm the clerk." I had hoped he would by it, because I was a horrible liar, but I think I had gotten better since they left. How stupid am I, that even though I am about to go up to my room and face that one person, I can't even say their names? Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and ...Edward. I forced my brain to think of them, but I as I said the last word my heart stopped, I felt a wave of heat rush through me, and I just about burst into tears.

"Dad, I'm beat! Can I go to my room?" I might as well, get it over with! Maybe this would be like a band aid, the faster you rip it off the better you feel, but I doubt that will ever happen!

"Yea, night bells," was all Charlie had said before turning back for the living room tv.

"Night!" and I headed up the stairs to my nightmare!

"Bella, I don't know how to say this, or anything for that matter, but I am sorry!" Who would of thought of a speechless Edward?

"You don't love me, why should you be sorry about that?"

"You can't honestly believe that I don't love you? I mean, Bella I always have and always will!" Ya, right! Then why did you leave? I wanted to say that, but my mouth wouldn't produce the words.

"Mmm Hmm! Sure," I know I was acting immature but I didn't believe him. If I did the hole in my chest would grow bigger after they all decided to leave again.

"I'm not sure how to make you believe that, but I will!! I make you that promise, as long as I exist, I will make you believe that I love you!" Edward stepped closer to me, I froze on the spot! I didn't want him to touch me, but the thought of moving was impossible.

"Please don't! I ..I.. I.." and then his lips were on mine, the passion that came out of them made my head swoon. This can't happen, I may have been trying to heal before, but if you add this, I'll never be peiced together again. I pulled back, and he had a shocked, hurt expression playing on his face.

"EDWARD!! Don't do that again!" My voice cracked at the end, knowing the full meaning of what I had just said! I did want him to touch me, I did want him to love me. But, knowing he would leave again was unbearable.

"Ok," was all he said and he unexpectantly smiled. "I missed the taste of you. God, you have no idea what you do to me!"

I tried not to blush, but it was impossible, I felt the blood flash to my cheeks, if he only knew what he did to me! Then, he reached up to my blushed cheeks, and placed his hands on them. This time I did not pull away. It was all I could do to keep breathing, but as fast as he put his hands there, he pulled them away, and my heart broke once more.

"Sorry! I couldn't help myself," Edward looked down as he said this, afraid of what I might do next.

"It's ok," I said breathlessly, "I don't know what you want me to do here?"

"I love you, I'm not leaving you, and with that, you can do whatever you want! I am at your disposal!" I liked the sound of that.

so here is chapter 3!! enjoy!! review!!