First Friend
The rain continued pouring endlessly…
It happened on a sunny day.
He made his first friend, his first real friend when he was eight; every detail of that fateful day was etched in his mind, clear as anything. He'd broken his arm from jumping off the swings a little too soon and ended up at the hospital. Once the doctors finished fixing him up, he found himself tucked in with his arm in a sling, bandages all over and bored out of his mind. As an eight year old, he'd always had trouble sitting still or concentrating on a single activity to be a difficult task. So he lay there, gnawing on the inside of his cheek, wishing that the nurses, no matter how pretty they were, would hurry up and leave already. Sighing, he faked a yawn and pretended to drift off, hoping that it would speed up the process.
The second he heard hushed whispers and footsteps leaving the room, his eyes snapped open and he crawled out of bed. Unfortunately, once he reached the door, he realized that he had no idea what he wanted to do let alone find whatever he'd end up looking for. But then another thought came to his mind, causing his lips to tug upwards.
He'd go on an adventure.
So, with that idea on his mind, he left his room and began running down the hall, poking his head into different rooms, taking unplanned turns and talking to random patients. On his way, he talked to an elderly gentleman who was in a wheelchair; apparently he dislocated his hip because he was walking his dog and tripped. He met another girl; she was crying and had a cast around her foot. She'd been the victim of a hit-and-run. Unsure of what to say, he smiled and told her to cheer up, showing her his own cast and told her how he'd broken his arm. They might've become friends if her nurse hadn't shown up and helped her to her appointment.
Waving goodbye, he continued down the hall until he heard someone calling his name. Turning around, he realized that it was his nurse and panicked; he ran into the closest room and shut the door behind him. He listened as the voice faded into the distance and gave a sigh of relief. So caught up in his escape, he failed to notice another person shuffling in the room until he finally heard a quiet "who are you?"
He gave a jump and turned around to see another boy around his age, sitting in bed in the middle of a blank white room, looking rather sleepy, almost as though he'd just woken up. He blinked and pointed at himself, "me?" The other nodded and he approached the bed to take a better look at the boy, "I'm Dark Mousy. Look," he held up his cast as much as he could without hurting his arm, "I broke my arm when I was jumping off the swing, that's why I'm here. In this place I mean, I have another room somewhere else until my mom comes to pick me up tonight, but I got bored so I decided to have an adventure. I think the nurses are looking for me…who are you?"
The boy with the tired golden eyes blinked slowly, digesting everything that'd just been said, "I'm Krad Hikari…"
A small frown etched his face when he realized that the other didn't plan on saying anything else, "did you just wake up?" The blond nodded and gave a yawn to emphasize it. "Oh…but you're awake now, right?" Another nod, then he grinned, "great, I'll keep you company then. So how long have you been here?"
Krad rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up, "a long time now…they said that there's something wrong with my heart so I'm supposed to stay here. Actually, I could go home but father's the head doctor here and mother's the head nurse so they can't take care of me if I go home. That's why I'm here." Then golden eyes focused on the cast, "…did it hurt? You can sit on the bed if you'd like."
He accepted the offer, after climbing onto the bed with some trouble, he sat in front of the other and gave an exaggerated frown, "it hurt a lot! See, today, I was in the playground, it's this place by my school and the swings there go really high! And I was having a competition with this other kid who lives around my neighborhood to see who could swing the highest. But then we were both swinging really high, right? And we couldn't tell who was higher so I told him that I'd jump off and he called me a liar. So I jumped from the very top and I almost landed on my feet but I slipped and messed up. And then afterwards, I couldn't move my arm at all!"
The blond listened to his story with wide eyes, "so you jumped from the very-very top!? That must've been higher than a building!"
"It was! Hey Krad, have you ever broken your arm?"
The other shook his head, "I've never jumped off a swing before."
"Really? Well I'm pretty sure there are other ways to break your arm, it's actually not that bad. See? You get this really cool cast and then you can get people to sign it!"
Krad nodded understandingly, "so are you going to get all your friends to sign it?"
Dark paused, "what? What's a friend?"
Golden eyes blinked and tilted his head curiously, "A friend?"
"Yea, my mom told me to be careful when I call people my friends so I don't think I've actually made a friend yet. But I know a lot of people though!"
The other boy looked up in thought, "your mother must have a reason…let's see…um, well, a friend is someone that you share things with and talk to a lot, and you do stuff together and you play together all the time and stuff. Like the cat and the mouse in that book, they always helped each other out and they were best friends!"
He looked over at the direction the blond was pointing to, his eyes widened, "whoa! All those books are yours!? Have you read all of them!?"
The blond shook his head, "not yet, but you can borrow them and read them if you'd like."
Dark grinned excitedly, "Krad, you know what? You're officially my best friend! Here!" He held his arm out, "You can be the first to sign my cast!"
"But I don't have a pen…"
He jutted his lips out into a pout but then perked up, "oh, don't worry about it! I'll go find one! Just wait here, I'll be right back!"
With that said, he scooted off the bed and walked out the door only to hear someone call his name again, "Dark Mousy! There you are! We've been looking all over for you! Where on earth have you been hiding? Don't you know how worried we were? I hope you haven't caused any trouble." The nurse walked over and kneeled down in front of him, and inside, he was relieved that it was a nice nurse that found him. "So what have you been up to while you were out of your room?"
Dark gave a happy grin, "I went on an adventure and met all these people!"
The nurse smiled, "well that must've been exciting, how about you tell me all about your adventure when we get you back to your own room?"
He was about to nod when he remembered, "oh, wait! We can't go back yet! I need to find a pen!"
The lady blinked, "A pen? What for?"
Giving her a serious look, he pointed at the room he'd come from, "I made a friend! My first friend! He said I could borrow his books to read! And then I promised him that he could be the first one to sign my cast! And I promised him that I'd be right back with a pen too! So I can't go back yet! Please?"
Sighing, she gave a soft smile and nodded, "alright, let's go get your friend to sign your cast, hm? I think I've got one on me." She patted her pockets and pulled a marker out, "here you are, make sure it comes back to me though."
Dark gave an excited yelp and ran back into the room while the nurse stood by the door and watched. He ran up to the blond and handed the pen to the other, "Look I got a pen from that nice nurse lady over there! Now you can sign it, Krad!"
The blond lit up and uncapped the pen, then carefully, he wrote his name down in large childish writing on the other's arm. When he finished, he smiled, proud of himself, "there, now you have your first signature. And here, you wanted to read this book, right?"
He looked at the book in the other's hands and nodded, accepting it happily, "thanks Krad. I promise I'll take good care of it." The two exchanged smiles before Dark returned the marker back to the nurse, "and thank you very much for lending me your pen."
She smiled, "you're very welcome. So shall we head back now?"
Dark nodded, "Yea, we can go back now. Bye Krad!"
The other blinked, "you'll come back, right?"
He grinned, "of course! We're best friends now!"
And true to his word, he went in almost everyday to keep the blond company. He'd be seen running down the sidewalk with whatever it was that he did that day, in his hands. Within days, he'd figured out how to get around the hospital by heart and often greeted the random doctors and nurses he recognized. It wasn't long before the staff there began recognizing him, making small talk with him when they had the time. "You're here again, Dark? Visiting Krad again?"
He'd smile and nod, "Yea, we played this really cool game today, I'm going to teach it to him! And look! I brought him snacks! He's allowed to eat cookies, right?"
And they'd reply, "I don't know, you should check with his doctor."
One day, when he ran into the room, he found it empty and blinked. He put down his belongings and wandered into the hallway onto to see the blond walked down with a doctor. He gave a happy grin and ran over, "Where were you!? I've been waiting here for forever now!"
The doctor laughed, "So this is the friend you were telling me about," Dark couldn't help but straighten in pride at the mention, "you must be Dark. Krad here was just having a check up, you should've heard him, he kept saying 'can you please hurry up? Dark's going to be here any minute now!' and he sounded so urgent I couldn't say no."
The blonde's face flushed at that but he merely grinned and held up the opened box his mother had packed for him, "Look Krad, I brought cookies! He's allowed to eat them, right? They're chocolate chip! And I'll bring pudding tomorrow! You'll love pudding! But for today, I only have three cookies so we'll have to split one in half, that's fine, right? Eating a cookie and a bit?"
The man smiled and nodded, "that sounds fine, aren't you lucky, Krad? Having a friend who'll come visit you and give you cookies!"
The two exchanged looks and nodded understandingly, Dark grinned and held the box up to the doctor, "here, me and Krad decided that you can have one! This is for taking care of Krad all the time!"
Soon, the two transformed the stark white hospital room into a room fit for a child. There were colorful drawings randomly pinned onto the walls, incidentally, they were all within an arms length of Dark's height. There were piles of forgotten toys and books scattered around the room in an almost hazardous manner, even homework and tests were found lying around.
During winter break, he'd run over from his house and enter the room without knocking, "Guess what!? I heard that it's going to snow later! Do you think we'll be able to play outside?"
"I don't know, maybe they'll let me go outside this year," Krad suggested hopefully before sneezing.
A worried frown almost immediately reached his lips when he heard it, unwinding the scarf around his neck, he wrapped it around the blonde's, "here! It'll keep you warm! We'll never get to play outside if you get sick now! You have to stay healthy, alright? Then we'll go outside and build a snowman! Then we'll come back in and warm up and play more games, okay? And we can write letters to Santa Clause! I mean, it's almost Christmas…did you know you can spell Christmas with an X?"
And when the snow did fall, he kept his promise and the two did just that. Except it continued snowing so Dark couldn't make his way home that day and ended up having a sleepover at the hospital. As he was falling asleep, he could hear the nurses giggling at their letters to Santa that were posted outside on the door as they made their way down the hall. He smiled at the silence that followed and snuggled up next to the blond before falling asleep.
Dear Santa Claus,
For Xmas this year, I want you to give Krad my gift 'cause I forgot to buy one for him!
Thank you!
Dark Mousy
Dear Santa Claus,
Please give Dark's gift back to him, I didn't get him anything either.
Merry Ch-Xmas!
Thank you,
Krad Hikari
It was in his final year of elementary school when Krad collapsed for the first time, he'd been pale and panting heavily when a nurse walked in and discovered the two panicked children. Dark watched with confused eyes when the doctors ran in and wheeled his friend away. He spent the rest of the day waiting for his friend to return and when the nurse who helped him during the time of his broken arm came up to him and handed him a blanket, he began crying. "What's wrong with Krad!? He's not going to die, is he!?"
The nurse embraced him and soothed his hair, "don't be silly, Dark, of course he's not going to die. They're just…fixing his heart right now, he should be out soon. You'll be able to talk to him tomorrow. Come on now, don't cry. Here, let's go call your mother so she doesn't get worried about you, you can ask her to let you stay a little later."
He asked her to do more than to simply stay over, he asked to stay the night, "What? But you have school tomorrow!"
Tears stung his eyes again, "b-but Krad! …he's afraid of surgeries! He told me! He said they were super scary! I want to sleepover with him! Then when he wakes up he won't be scared 'cause I'll be there! Please? Can I please sleepover?"
An exasperated sigh, "…fine, I guess you can, but you have to listen to the doctors, alright? Don't get in their way and don't wake Krad-kun up, surgery's very tiring. Is that understood, Dark?"
"Yea!"
That night was the first time Dark met the blonde's father face to face. The tall man looked down and blinked, "Ah, you must be Dark, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be home by now? Your parents must be worried about you."
He shook his head, "I called my mom already! I want to sleepover so Krad won't be scared when he wakes up!"
The adults' eyes softened and Krad's mother leaned down with a smile, "you're such a sweet boy. I think we can set up a bed for you."
He'd met her before since she had just a little more free time than her husband, and any free time she had, she spent it tending to her son. He pouted, "Why can't I sleep in the same bed as Krad?"
The head nurse pursed her lips as she tried to think of an appropriate explanation, but it was the father who answered, "You see, Krad's just had a very long surgery and he'll be sleeping for a long time. And while he's sleeping, it's best he doesn't move around very much or the cut from the surgery's going to hurt a lot."
Dark nodded understandingly, "oh, so it'd be bad if I accidentally move him while I sleep, right? Okay, can you set up another bed for me, please?"
The blond didn't wake up until the middle of the next day. Eyes glazed with sleep and painkillers, he glanced around when he noticed something attached to his hand. It was another hand, he followed the arm up to its owner and blinked, "…Dark?"
He looked up and grinned happily and stood next to the bed, "Hey, you're awake! How're you feeling? Does it hurt? Were you scared? Can I get you anything? Oh! I got you Jell-O! But I ate it. But I can get more if you want!"
The other merely smiled and shook his head weakly, "just stay here and talk…please?"
Dark nodded, he tightened his grip on the other's hand and began talking, "just wait until we get better. We'll go outside and play and you can help me with my homework again. The doctors said that it's important for you to rest lots right now so the cut will close up. And you parents came by, they brought you more books incase you get bored while I'm not around! I can read them to you later if you'd like!"
A few weeks later, they went right back to normal as though nothing ever happened.
Krad was the center of the universe for him. That was his views as the rest of elementary school passed by; his life was all about the blond. He even brought his parents in on random occasions to introduce them and to show off his best friend. And the whole time, the blonde's face remained tinted as he shook his head and tried his best to silence his friend's compliments. He brought in snacks and toys to share with the other and they spend almost everyday together.
As time continued to pass by, he grew up to be more social, rash, and talkative while the other grew more silent and docile. But it never bothered him. He figured it was more complementary than anything since he knew wouldn't particularly like sharing the spotlight with anyone, and so long as the blond talked to him, he couldn't care less how quiet the other was. After all, Krad didn't need anyone other than him anyways.
They were alright…the two of them.
Elementary school graduation was the most special ceremony for him, as far as he was concerned. He was pretty sure that not even high school graduation would beat it. Why? Because that was the day Krad got permission to leave the hospital to attend the ceremony, the two spent the rest of the day together. Dark got to show the other the famous jungle gym where he flew and broke his arm. Krad laughed at the memory and the two continued exploring the area together, half way, the blond smiled softly and picked up a rock the size of a golf ball, "look Dark, isn't this nice? It's heart-shaped."
Dark grinned, "Yea, that's really cool! Next time, I'll find you a star shaped rock, okay? And then a triangle one too!"
And ever since then, there'd been a small pile of uniquely shaped rocks place along the window sill.
When he entered middle school, the drawings in the room were replaced with posters of the latest, most popular anime and bands. He brought in a stereo and CDs so they could listen together. Things changed a little in middle school, Dark began to notice other things, and other people outside the hospital. But he always reported them to the blond. "And then you should've seen him! He laughed so hard the juice came out his nose! And then all the girls were screaming and the teacher started laughing, it was so weird! Oh, last night, on TV, you should've seen it! It was the best episode ever! So the guy goes and…"
Krad would sit and listen to him patiently as he always did with a smile on his face.
"It's not much, but here."
He blinked and looked at the small chest in his hand, "what is it?"
The blond shot him a strange look, "A birthday present?"
When he tried to open it, he found it locked and raised a brow in confusion, "Where's the key?"
A small smile, "That's the second part of the present, you'll get it later."
Dark huffed in mock-exasperation before grinning curiously at the box, "I guess I can wait, thanks. Wonder what it is…"
There were days he began to wonder about how other people would think of him, knowing that his best friend lived in the hospital. For a few minutes, he'd be embarrassed before the shame and guilt took over, and he'd mentally scold himself for having such terrible thoughts in the first place. On those days, he'd end up feeling too guilty to pay the other a visit. Slowly, his world began moving away from the blond.
Their first fight was when he was in middle school. He couldn't remember what it was about anymore, but it was probably something trivial. But the thing he did remember was the words he threw thoughtlessly at the other. "Well maybe I don't want to have you as a best friend anymore! I wish I was sick, then I wouldn't have to put up with all of this!"
He ran home after his outburst, but not without seeing golden eyes widen in shock and hurt first. In his house, still fuming, he stomped around for a bit, deciding that he wasn't going to visit the other until he received an apology. But gradually, he slowed down and began pacing anxiously when he realized that he wouldn't be able to get his apology without visiting the other. Then he stopped walking altogether when he remembered the look on the blonde's face, it was the first time he'd seen such an expression, and a wave of guilt washed over him almost immediately.
That night, he couldn't get a wink of sleep.
And the next day, he skipped school and headed for the hospital instead. Running to the blonde's room, he frowned when he found it empty. He realized that the other probably had check ups and what not in the mornings, then he realized that Krad probably set it up in such a manner so he could spend time with him in the afternoon. A new wave of guilt flushed through him and he took a seat on the bed, and picking up one of the books nearby to read as he waited.
After what appeared to be forever, the door opened and the blond walked through, looking very surprised at his presence, "Dark? Don't you have school today?"
Dark snapped his attention to the other and launched himself onto Krad, wailing guiltily, "Krad, Krad, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean what I said! I didn't mean any of it! I'm sorry, please forgive me! I'll never argue with you again! I'll never say anything like that again! So please, don't look at me like that again…I'm really sorry…"
A soft sigh and a hand ran through his tangled locks, "you skipped school just for this?"
He nodded, "Yes! How could I concentrate in school knowing that you were mad at me!?"
Krad couldn't help but smile, "It's fine, I forgive you. The two of us…we're alright…"
And for the rest of the day, they spent their time doing what they did back in elementary school. Dark's world began revolving around the blond again as he did his homework in the room he'd spent so much time in, and when he got stuck, the two would try to solve it together, and when they both couldn't figure it out, they ended up asking the staff for help. He always thought of that day as one of the happiest days of his middle school years.
When high school started, the room changed again. Some of the posters remained, but many of the cartoon ones were replaced with cars and even newer bands. The pile of books progressively became more difficult and Dark was surrounded by attention from the world outside the hospital. He began talking and complaining about girls, boys, sports and competition and sports at school, telling everything to the blond as he always had. "So she asked me out, I mean I have to admire her for her courage, but I still said no. But there's this other girl, if she asked, I might've said yes, she's the strongest girl I know. I mean, not physically strong, but you know, strong on the inside…"
And as always, Krad listened to his ranting quietly, with a small smile on his face.
As high school continued, Dark began to get more and more submerged in his own world. His life no longer revolved around the blond and he began visiting less frequently. It'd gone from daily visits to every other day to once a week. And soon, it was rare that he'd find the time and motivation to visit the other. During his visits, not once did the blond complain. Instead, he'd always sit there and listen with a content look on his face until it was time for him to go. It was probably because of this that Dark never really noticed how rare his visits had become…
It wasn't until a long while later that he visited the hospital once more. And it was only because his friend had broken his arm, he sighed to himself as he walked down the street, "I can't believe Dai-chan would break his arm like that…" when he stood in front of the building he blinked and looked up in realization and mild guilt, "…it's been a long time since I visited him…I wonder how he is…"
Inside the building, he was disturbed to see unfamiliar faces walking around and continued his way through the corridors until a voice stopped him, "Dark? Is that you, Dark?" He turned around to see the kind nurse he'd grown up around smiling at him, "you've grown again! It's been such a long time since you last visited! You're graduating this year, right?"
He smiled and shook his head, "next year, I'm almost there."
"You're not sick, are you? Oh! Are you here to see Krad?" A nod. "That's wonderful! He'll be so happy to see you!"
"How is he?"
There was a slight falter on the nurse's part, "he's doing pretty well, why are you still standing here? You should go see him for yourself!"
He nodded again and continued down the hallway until he reached a certain door. For once in his life, he felt hesitation as he knocked. There was a soft "yes?" and he walked in. The blond looked over from his book and blinked in surprise, "Dark?"
The room hadn't changed at all since he last decorated it. The only thing that had changed was Krad. He was skinnier and paler, his hair longer than he'd ever seen and had been tied into several random braids. He gave a sheepish grin and waved, "Hey, it's been awhile…who braided your hair?"
Golden eyes blinked before opening his mouth in silent realization, then he hastily undid the braids with an embarrassed smile, "oh, sorry, I was helping out in the children section earlier and you know what girls are like when they see long hair…"
Dark laughed and nodded before looking at the other fondly, "that's right…you didn't want to cut your hair until you got out of the hospital, right? …I remember that…it was such a long time ago…look, I'm sorry I haven't been visiting lately."
The other didn't say anything about how that was the worst understatement he'd ever made. Instead ,the blond merely smiled, "I guess you've been busy, hm? So what brings you here today?"
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Dai-cha…Daisuke broke his leg trying to jump a fence, the kid forgot to tie his shoelaces and his foot got stuck so he fell, I'd visit him but I don't know where his room is and the creep, you know, Satoshi's probably in there with him right now. This reminds me of when I broke my arm and ended up here…and I snuck into your room…"
The two exchanged smiles and began reminiscing about all the days when they used to laugh together, get into trouble together, solve problems together and cry together.
It wasn't until much later that Dark changed the topic, "so what's been happening with you lately?"
This caused Krad to pause and blink for a moment before letting out softly, "not much…"
He cocked his head, "come on, that can't be true, there's got to be something, anything. There hasn't been anything…bad, has there?"
The blond looked down at his hands, "not really…"
He felt dread rise from his stomach when he realized that the other was avoiding eye contact and frowned, "It's obvious you're hiding something so just spill it, Krad."
"…I need a heart transplant."
His world turned upside-down at the news.
He felt lightheaded when he returned home that day. After all those years, he never truly understood what was wrong with the other. Until now… And it wasn't until now that he realized just how much of the blonde's life he'd missed. Dragging his feet, he turned and plopped onto his bed, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Still in a state of shock, he waved a hand in front of his face, blocking out the light with it before draping his arm over his eyes and sighed loudly. He never knew…
"Tetralogy of Fallot…it's basically four things…four heart defects I was born with…I won't explain them to you but I've had to have open heart surgery several times. They tried to fix it but it didn't really turn out the way they wanted it to. My heart was too weak…I wasn't supposed to live past five. But as you can see, I did and I'm still here…but for some reason the problems still haven't been fixed, even after all those surgeries, actually, they probably made it worse. I had another one recently…there was something about how a valve and how it didn't grow. And they confirmed it, my heart won't be able to go through another surgery without completely giving out. So right now, the only opinion left is a transplant…"
"Krad…"
A soft smile and a shake of the head, "but never mind that…how've you been?"
Dark opened his eyes groggily, wondering quietly when he fell asleep. He looked up, remembering how the two of them used to cry before the blonde's surgery in middle school. He'd only been with the other through three surgeries altogether…and they said normal people were only supposed to have three major surgeries in a life time… Violet eyes looked around listlessly. His mind began to wander towards the blond.
What if he wasn't there the next day…?
He shook his head angrily, erasing the thought from his head. Getting up, he got dressed and headed down the stairs; glad that it was the weekend and that there wasn't school to take time out of his visit to the hospital. Inside, he greeted the people he did know and headed for the blonde's room. When he poked his head inside, he was surprised that the other was still asleep. Not wanting to wake the other up, he decided to visit his friend first then return afterwards.
When the sun had set, he frowned at the tired-looking blond. It was amazing how much the other's condition worsened. "I have to go soon…but I'll come visit you as often as possible! I promise and Dark Mousy never goes back on his word!"
Krad smiled.
Unfortunately, he couldn't fit it into his schedule to make daily visits, but true to his word, he went whenever possible. And every time he went, he watched his best friend get progressively worse. The blond was still waiting for a transplant and had been hooked up to several machines to help him breath and such. Dark tried his best to ignore the machinery and talked to the other as he would normally; talking about his day and all the tests and homework he had to deal with. He complained about the students and teachers and the pressure everyone was putting on them to get into university and whatnot. And the other would watch him, smiling and laughing weakly every now and then.
Sometimes, he'd go home earlier so the other could rest since the blond never fell asleep until he left.
One day, he was sitting in class when he felt a shiver run down his spine. Blinking, he looked out the window at the gray clouds in the sky and sighed, trying to ignore the feeling of anxiety that built up inside him. And when the bell rang, he got up and packed his things, ready to go visit the blond, when he was suddenly swarmed by students and questions, "Dark, how do you do this question? Can you explain it to me, please?"
"Dark, how do you do this one?"
"Dark-san…can you help me, please?"
"Hey Krad, you want to help me with my homework? Come on, it'll be fun…or at least better than me doing it while you get to read your own books. If I suffer, you're suffering with me. Here, so they want to know what x will be when…"
Heaving another sigh, he sat back down and began explaining the question to them. Visiting the other would have to wait…
There was a soft laugh.
He raised his head and looked around but didn't see anyone out of the ordinary or looking amused. Shaking his head, he returned his attention back down to the problem and pointed to it, "See, here's the value you're looking for and in order to get it you have to…"
Dark went into the hospital the next day, but he couldn't find any familiar faces so he headed straight for the blonde's room. Opening the door without knocking as usual, he stepped in, "hey Krad…"
For a moment he saw the blond look up and smile at him.
In the next moment, he was gone.
Amethyst eyes blinked and looked around, he was in the right room but where was the other? Surely he wouldn't have scheduled a checkup in the afternoon…he put his things down and began wandering around the halls, looking for someone to ask. When he reached the children's area, he heard a familiar voice, "here you are, and there! Now you can show all your friends how to properly take care of a paper cut!"
He walked up to the nurse, "sorry, am I interrupting?"
The woman looked up, her eyes widened, "Dark! I didn't think…I mean…" she motioned for him to follow her while telling the children, "I'll be right back, alright? Please play nicely." Then she led him out the door, her eyes trained on the floor the whole way. "Dark…I'm so sorry."
Dark furled his brows, "what? Why?" A frown tugged at his lips, "don't tell me…no, no way! He was going to get a transplant and then everything was going to be alright! He said he'd tell me when his surgery was! I…I promised him I'd be there when he went in and got out…he's terrified of operations…there's no way he would've gone in without telling me, especially not something as big as a transplant…"
The nurse took in a shaky breath and drew him into a hug and soothed his hair as she'd done so many years ago, "I'm sorry Dark, I'm so sorry…I watched the two of you grow up and now…"
There were tears stinging at his eyes, "when was this…?"
She hugged him closer, and he just stood there as she cried, "They wheeled him late last night…the heart had just arrived and he…he had a heart failure, we couldn't risk delaying it anymore. So they wheeled him in…and they were in there for hours…they tried their best, Dark. But they couldn't restart his heart or anything, they were working with a dead heart and…and he was gone before they could…they could…I'm so sorry Dark, he's gone…"
Standing in the room where he'd first met the blond, he looked around, running his hands lightly over the posters and books that lay around. The nurse had told him to look around if he was able to and find things that he wanted or belonged to him before they cleared the room for another patient. He didn't understand how they could clear the room that easily, it'd belonged to the blond for over ten years now…he wandered around, not wanting to move anything. It'd be his last time seeing the room like this…the way Krad left it.
With a heavy heart, he sat on the bed and curled up, wishing he could freeze time, "Krad…you're so selfish…I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye…"
He didn't notice he'd fallen asleep until the setting sun momentarily blinded him. Not wanting to get up, he shifted and curled his arm under the pillow to make himself more comfortable. How did he used to sleep on it? How did Krad…he blinked when he found something under the pillow. Pulling it out, he found an envelope addressed to him and it was written in the blonde's handwriting. Opening it, he found a letter and something else…he dumped it out onto his hand to find a small key. He blinked and unfolded the letter.
Dear Dark,
I never wanted to have to tell you this but,
I'm not going to make it.
They've already told me. I'm probably not going to last, at least not in time for the transplant, so I need to make sure I get to write everything I've wanted to say to you down on paper.
First of all, thank you. Without you, I don't think I would've ever even dreamt of making it this far. It's because you were always by my side that I was able to stay strong and get through it all. In the end, I think I spent more time with you than my parents. Did you know? We've known each other for half our lives now. Oh, and thank you for always sharing your life with me, you were my connection to the real world, to the life I never had. You probably never knew, but all your complaints, all your jokes, they kept me alive.
You became my everything.
Death isn't new to me, I've seen the sick children become bedridden and weaken. I've watched them disappear from these halls. I'm used to seeing the nurses and doctors and parents crying. But even so, I can't help but be afraid. I'm terrified of the thought of dying. I'm terrified of surgeries because I know that every time I go into the room, there's a chance I won't come back out, a chance I won't see you or anyone else again. I wonder what it'll be like after I'm gone. The world will never notice, will it?
To be honest, I never really planned to tell you this but I will, it's more for my own sake than anything else.
I have a lot of things I need to apologize to you for. It wasn't intentional but in some ways, I suppose I resented you. When you come in and tell me about everything and then leave right after, I couldn't help but get annoyed, I know it's not right but the feelings were there. When you left, I found myself wishing I could go too and be part of the life you so often described to me. Actually, it was a rather lonely feeling. But despite that, I was always overwhelmed with joy whenever you walked through those doors. You know, I was always afraid of you not coming back. Ever since our first argument, I realized that there was a possibility of you just walking off and leaving me behind, even though I always thought of you as mine. It scared me. It's because I'm weak that I hold such selfish thoughts, I hope you can forgive me, Dark.
Until then,Thank you for being my everything,
Krad Hikari
PS: Actually, there's one thing I can't say…I wanted a heart as strong as this so that I'd be able to tell you one day, but I guess that'll have to wait.
I'm sorry my heart was so weak.
That night, he returned home with his old scarf, several books, a couple of old test papers, and a tiny key in his pocket. After setting everything down, he began digging through his drawers until he came across a small chest. Retrieving the key from his pocket, he slid it into the slot and turned it.
There was a click.
Holding his breath, he opened the chest and blinked.
I wanted a heart as strong as this so that I'd be able to tell you one day…
A heart-shaped rock.
But I guess that'll have to wait.
Amethyst eyes narrowed as tears began stinging at them. In his mind, he could think of countless things to say but when he opened his mouth, only choked sobs came out.
I'm sorry my heart was so weak.
The rain continued pouring endlessly…
He looked down at the grave as raindrops continued falling on his umbrella. The graduation ceremony was over and everyone was at home celebrating. Everyone except for him, that is. A small sigh left his lips as they parted, his eyes were glazed with nostalgia as he began to speak. "Look Krad…I graduated, I wish you were there to see it. It's already been a year now, hasn't it? I still can't get used to it. I can't walk by the hospital without wanting to run in to tell you everything that's been happening. Did you know? I got into medical school, it's going to be a pain, but it'll be worth it, don't you think?"
By the way, you're an idiot, I thought you knew-I never told you, but I thought you knew. You had the strongest heart out of everyone I've ever known…you were always there when I needed you, you always put up with me with a smile on your face. And you weren't the only one who was selfish. Remember how I'd go running to you whenever I felt the urge to? …I know how horrible this is going to sound, but part of me was glad you were stuck in the hospital, because then, you were always mine and only mine. No one else in the world knew about you but me. I didn't have to share you, you were my precious secret. You know, I wish you'd told me, then I could've confessed that you were my everything too…still are. I think I might've loved you. You were always so calm and patient with me… I miss you, Krad. I don't know what I'm going to do without you; you really were irreplaceable to me. But, I promise I'll try to be strong, I'll try to keep going so you won't have to worry about me. I'll get over this somehow, I promise, and Dark Mousy never goes back on his word."
In the distance, a car honked its horn. Dark gave a tearful smile, "I never really got to say this to you in real life but I want to say this properly at least once. Goodbye Krad, and…"
Thank you for being my first friend.
Nya
Whoo! First one-shot! A pretty long one at that. This took me weeks to more so edit than write actually...but nevertheless, I'm done! And this site's new layout stuff is...interesting, I get to stalk who reads and stuff now ;D And I find it sad but DN Angel seems to be declining in popularity even though the new volumes have come out, and they're awesome by the way. Anyways, school's a pain and life's dragging on as usual. I'll try to update my fics ASAP but I wouldn't be surprised if that's in several months (sorry).
Anyways, I hope I'm still able to jerk some tears out of people! Many thanks to those who are still reading, and I hope you enjoy!