I was inspired for this one-shot from a real life story. The original that I adapted this from, can be found at: www. glenmay. com

After the Rains

It had poured and poured that Feb. 13th, which was rather rare in Vegas. The storm system seemed to have gotten stalled due to a high pressure system that was in control of the Midwest. Despite the nasty weather 'ol Ironhide still had to get those flower arrangements delivered! So with his human partner, Jake, riding along to run the arrangements and roses up to the doors, they trucked on through the storms. Both of them prayed that they'd get a short break at every stop.

Going down several new roads which didn't have signs up yet, Ironhide grumbled as he tried but failed to use GPS to find the darned house. "Well sloggers, why are we delivering to a place that don't exist yet?" he grumbled.

Jake shrugged, reading the hand-written directions even slower, for the fifth time. "It says to turn here, and then go to the third right, and then it's the last house."

Ironhide grumbled some more. The heavy rains had coated these roads in a layer of mud from the cleared lots, making driving even more unenjoyable. Getting to the third right, he kicked up even more mud onto his sides as he turned. "You'd think they could at least put some darned street signs up," he continued to grumble. Heck, he hated this job because it was so emasculating, and it didn't help that Sideswipe was trying to catch a picture of him with these magnetic flower signs on his sides. After what the mech had done to humiliate Red Alert – Ironhide was determined to avoid the same thing.

The road turned into a hill, and the two spotted the sole house at the end. A feeling of relief flooded through the red mech as he peeled his tires, trying to get some kind of grip on the slick roadway. A woman was sitting on the covered front porch. Seeing the flower delivery van, she shouted at them "IT'S GOIN UP DAT DARE HILL, THIRD TRAILER ON THE RIGHT!" while she pointed behind her house towards some doublewide trailers that were at the very end of the road.

Up the hill they continued to drive, wheels spinning and slipping as the pavement turned into packed mud... until they sank. They sank into the mud up to Ironhide's doors. Ironhide began to really grumble now, for he couldn't transform unless Jake unloaded all of the arrangements. This was turning out to be way beyond just a bad day.

Getting out, Jake continued the trek to the third doublewide on foot to inform the customers that his 'van' sank into their drive and was now stuck.

Fortunately the costumers; Ritta and Chris, were still sober enough to understand they weren't getting their "arrangement" at the moment. The smell of vodka and pot, which emanated from the interior of the trailer, was so strong that Jake thought he'd get high just standing at their door. Glancing warily at the pair, he gulped in trepidation, for they were the most redneck, shoot-you-on-sight, type of people he'd ever had the unfortunate chance in meeting. It was around 11:30 am, and Chris was already completely covered in motor oil, wearing overalls with a single strap holding his pants up. The chic was barely concealed by a ripped up tank top. Between the two of them, they had fewer teeth than they had toes.

"Oh hell, no problem, we'll pull ya out!" Chris offered, as he took another puff from his joint. He didn't seem to even consider whether the delivery man was for or against pot smoking. Or even care for that matter.

Awesome.. Jake thought to himself as he wallowed through the thick mud back to Ironhide. Getting in out of the rain, he patted the mech's steering wheel. "Hey man, they've got some kind of tow truck or something that can pull us out of this mud pit!" he told the mech.

Ironhide sighed in disgust. Here he was a MECH, having to be pulled out by humans. Sloggers, he sure hoped that Sideswipe wasn't hiding out somewhere close with his damned digital camera ready. He'd have to kick that mech's aft all over the station if that was the case. Because there was no way in HELL that he was going to be used as a screensaver!

Well, Jake was wrong. The pair of rednecks did not have a tow truck at all. His eyes opened wide in shock as his stomach began to get a nauseated feel to it. Oh God, Ironhide's really going to be bitching after this one! He thought to himself.

The rednecks came wheelin' around the side of the hill, sliding and fishtailing in a minivan! They barely maintained any kind of control as the drunk and stoned pair almost hit Ironhide as they slid to a stop. The back hatch was open with one of the half naked Ritta inside, and they back up to the front of Ironhide.

"You've got to be kidding! Why I never –" Ironhide began to rant, as the rednecks piled out of the other minivan.

Jake hit his steering wheel. "Shut up man! Do YOU want to call your boys for a pull?" He'd been listening to the grumbling mech for two days, and he knew that the 'tough guy' simply hated this job because of its feminizing connotations. The last thing Ironhide would want; is for his buddies to see him like this. Especially some guy named Sideswipe.

Ironhide shut up, knowing that Jake was right. But he was determined to find another job after this darned human holiday. Maybe a job transporting dynamite or something, at least that would be more 'masculine'!

Chris pulls out a set of jumper cables. Clamping one side down to the bumper of Ironhide, he then gripped the other end of the cables.

Even, if magically, the jumper cables were strong enough to stay clamped to the bumper, there's no way in hell that Chris would be able to pull the Ironhide out of this mud. Jake didn't know what to do, for he really felt that these rednecks were about to kill themselves...

Chris counted down 3 ... 2... 1... and VROOOOOOOOOOM. Ritta floors the minivan, spinning mud all over Ironhide, and then went careening out of control down the side of the hill. The jumper cables just popped off the bumper! Who would have imagined!

She drove back up the hill towards Ironhide and Jake, and informed them that there were some shovels in the shed that Jake could use to try and dig the red van out. They pointed to a run down shed behind their doublewide. Parking the minivan again, Ritta collected her flower arrangement and went back inside with Chris in tow.

Grumbling in disgust, Ironhide radioed in to base to get Hoist to come out and give him a pull. He knew that the damned prankster was most likely listening in, and would bet money on the fact that there'd be a screensaver of him in this predicament on Teletraan 1 – before he even made it back!

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