Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers. As usual. (
Claimer: On the other hand, I am the proud owner of this hopefully better-than-nothing plot! xD.
Shoot. I swallowed a medicinal tablet I was supposed to chew.
Ahh! For some reason the page suddenly changed and all my changes disappeared! Sorry if there seems to be a huge chunk missing from the story or if it doesnt make sense somewhere.
I don't know, Fil-chan probably translates as Firu-chan doesn't it? Sometimes I like it more than Fi-chan I guess.
Oo! reviews! And it wasn't flame! Don't worry, I'm planning a good ending for Filly and Vally. o-0 I did not just say that.
"X-Xellos..." Filia trembled with anger, her mace now pointed at him. "I saw that. Give him back..NOW!!"
"Ah? It's 'Xellos' now, is it?"
"Give him BACK!!"
Filia grabbed him by his front cape's hem and shook hard.
"Now, now Filia. We all know the rule: Finders keepers!"
Filia screamed and stuck her hand inside Xellos' slingbag.
"Ano, Filia, I don't think that's advisa - "
"EEeeeeppp!!"
Filia had jumped a foot before trying to pull her hand out.
"What does it feel like, dear Filia..?" Xellos whispered next to Filia's ear, eyes cracking open only slightly. One dose of this and he wouldn't be hungry for weeks!
"A-All th the... worst... the worst things I've ev-ver..."
"Really Fil-chan. Why don't you...name some?"
"Blood...cookies...dropped tea...!"
Xellos laughed hard and wiped a tear away as he released Filia's hand. "Really Fil-chan? I never knew I had such interesting objects in my repertoire. Oh what do you know, you were right."
Xellos pulled out a burnt cookie soaked in blood and, with a sniff, tea.
"I do wonder, however, how you tell the distinction between blood, tea, dropped tea and water. Anyone could tell these cookies from a mile away."
Filia was still on the ground, somewhat traumatised by the mysterious bag of tricks. Then she stood up.
"Please...please return Val to me. Please!"
Xellos, the evil priest of the Beastmaster, pretended to think about it. "No."
"Val..."
Filia cursed the day she met Xellos - again.
"But I suppose you could always try to earn the little fellow back yourself!"
"Earn him...back?"
"Yes! I, of course, had plans for this little visit. So for now, let us get to Lina-tachi! I do so love reunions, don't you?
"Hey Mister! Triple portions, Set A to Set Z! And step on it!"
"Li-na! At this rate the Seiruun Treasury will be left without a coin!"
"Well ya still got jewels don'tcha? Gourry I said that was MINE!"
"No you didn't Lina - Hey!"
"Oh bother."
All the other customers in the inn was, not for the first time, staring.
"You better make sure you can pay for this, missy!" yelled the innkeeper behind piling trays of food.
"Yeah whatever gramps, just hurry over here already!"
When the food did arrive for them, the second phase of Operation Mealtime happened: FFF, or Fight For Food.
For Amelia, if she was going to deplete the royal funds then she'd better take something out of it, for Zelgadis - well a chimera needed his nutrients and as for Lina and Gourry, just shut up, eat, period.
It was at this time of Need to Feed that Xellos and Filia phased next to their table and caused everyone else in the room to flee in madness. "Xellos-san!"
"You!"
"Who was that aga - Oww"
Lina finished her soup, let her fist fall and looked up.
"Yo, Xellos. And is that...Filia...?"
Lina cricked her neck to look at the figure behind Xellos.
"H-hi Lina...I'm fine too!" Filia said with the fakest smile of the history.
The group sweatdropped.
"You actually want them to think something's wrong, don't you Fil-chan?" Xellos whispered with a twitched mouth.
"Right on, garbage man!" Filia whispered back.
Meanwhile, Lina had managed to pilfer three sausages from Gourry's plate and a slab of meat from Amelia's, swiping it across Zelgadis' gravy before eating it.
Three loud "Hey!"s resonated throughout the inn.
"Lina-san, you should treat your friends better you know. It's not like you'll be getting bigger any...where...anytime."
"That's right Miss Lina! In the name of Justice, return what you stole in a moment of greed and evil!"
"Shut up," Lina responded with a none too polite burp. "I'm a growing kid! It doesn't matter if I eat a little more - can I have that? thanks -"
"Lina, you definitely eat a lot more than what a real growing kid needs," Zelgadis remarked, watching his last piece of steak go.
"Actually Zelgadis-san I'd be rather surprised if that's all she needs to eat to cast spells capable of destroying worlds, don't you?" Xellos said, pulling a cup of steaming tea out of nowhere.
"See? Even Xellos is on my side. So tell us, what're you doing here? What's the big idea? And why's Filia like that? You didn't do anything to her didcha?"
"And don't say it's a secret," everyone at the table said as Xellos raised his index finger.
--
"So there's a monster, - lick ice-cream -, who's getting overpowered, -lick ice-cream-, and the Lords of above, -lick ice-cream-, want us to get rid of him...her... for them. -lick ice cream-," Lina said as Xellos nodded at the appropriate times.
"A-an...overpowered...mazoku..?"Amelia said, unconsciously grabbing Zelgadis' stony hand.
"That aside, Xellos, don't you see a hell lot of plotholes here?" Lina said through a mouthful of sugared waffles.
"Plotholes?" Filia asked.
"Yeah, what's that Lina?" Gourry asked.
"Well, for starters, who does this mazoku serve? The dead Phibrizzo? The deadder Gaav? Insane Dolphin? Evil Dynast? Or is it... mommy dearest Zelas?
Xellos' facial features were twitching again. He hated being named after garbage as well as having his mistress referred to...wait WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?!
"Um..Well, we don't know..."Filia said, her head still pointedly facing the floor.
"How did you know Miss Dolphin was insane?" Xellos asked, curious.
"Huh? Nah, I was just - wait she's CRAZY?"
"Oh, nothing Linny-kins."
"Shut up Xellos."
"Which means one of them is just fooling around. Probably bored." Zelgadis observed, while making a mental note that Dolphin was bonkers.
"Okay next question: why the heck do they want US to finish M. Incognito? Okay ,stupid question, they're bored again and they hope I'll destroy the world, watching my friends die as I do so."
"Well - not exactly, Lina, but I suppose you do have a basis there..."
"So what's wrong with Filia?" Gourry asked, and everyone save Xellos turned to look at Filia.
"Xel-los? We're wai-ting... Or do you want a 'Life is Wonderful Remix'?" Lina grinned a grin worthy of her...various...titles.
"That's right Xellos-san! You had better give up your evil ways and tell us what you did to poor Filia! Do not resist the light of friendship, for Justice always prevails!!" Amelia was hanging from a modest chandelier from above.
"That's a dangerous height, Amelia. Get down!"
And Xellos suddenly remembered how tasty doubt was.
"Say, Amelia-san..."Xellos began, rising up to meet Amelia at eye level. "You actually support Justice because it 'always' prevails, don't you? Yes, a wise decision! All the charade you put on as a naive little girl is just to ward off serious bad people and rally your own warriors, isn't it? From young, you've seen that the 'good' people tend to triumph more! I never knew this side of you! Shame on you Amelia Wil Tesla...Seiruun."
Amelia was shaking, and everyone else was either stunned, worried, bewildered as to what was going on or plain didn't care.
Time for the killing blow.
Xellos opened his eyes to reveal, well, eyes. Evil eyes.
"Isn't that right, princess of the white kingdo - "
Lina, who was getting impatient from the direction their talk was going, had lifted her foot up, hooked it with Xellos' and smashed it down onto the floor. Hard.
"Ite-te-te-te-te..."
"Look, Xellos, stop wasting our time here and start talking. There's a new flavour of parfait in town and I want to get it before the shop closes so hurry up!"
Oh-oh. New flavour of parfait. Lina was serious about this one.
"Very well, I took Val's egg."
"You what?!" everyone except for the two who already knew echoed.
"Well I found it in the remains of Filia's house after she destroyed it in an a poor attempt to attack me, you see, and.. I guess I decided to keep it! I'm sure you of all people will appreciate how wonderful eggs can be, Lina."
"Heh," Lina said, recovering from her shock. "Wondered where your evil part lay in this. So what, we finish this guy off for you and Filia gets her foster son back?"
"That remains to be seen, Miss Lina."
Everyone raised their head at this.
"I'll have to ask what course of action my Mistress prefers to take first."
"A Mother's Day gift, eh? I never knew you to be the filial type, Xellos."
"Mother's Day?" Xellos was curious again. Humans really did have the most inventive ways to amuse themselves!
"Yeah. Second Sunday of the Fifth Month. Thank your mums for bringing you into this world, whether you're being offered to the Greater Beast or not."
"Hmm..." Xellos was sparking off ideas of his own already. "At any rate, you should know that we Mazoku hate to owe anyone anything.. but..."
Filia's face fell (wow, another FFF!). What obligation did Lina-tachi have to help her now? Val would probably be locked away at birth or thrown into some cell, made to do unspeakable things, harshly rounded up to be another pawn of the Mazoku lords... She wouldn't even be able to call Val Val anymore!
"Hang on a minute. You're not expecting me to be a part of this, are you?" Zelgadis asked. "In case you've forgotten, I'm trying to find cure to my body, not go about helping the Mazoku Lords. The only reason why I was following this bandit-hunting group was because I happened to be going in the same way for a Claire Bible page."
"Of the Western Mountains?"
"..yes.."
"Something the Serpent Sissy Swordsmen Bandits tipped you off about after you got them Sailor Girl outfits?" Xellos cracked open an eye to witness Zelgadi's expression for what he was about to do.
"..y-yes..." Zelgadis' face turned red as he remembered what he had to do to get those sailor girl outfits.
"Oh lookie! See what I've got here!" Xellos waved his hand and a yellowed piece of parchment appeared.
"Oh my! How fascinating! What an intriguing piece of paper! How interesting this is, a remarkable snippet of information indeed! Marvellous, simply marvellous. So that's how you make a chimera! What?! That's all it takes to reverse the process? Goodness, and to think you've spent nearly all your life looking for something like this -"
"Give that to me!" Zelgadis stepped forward, only to trip over Lina's stuck-out foot from hooking Xellos', denting his face in a perfect portrait in the comparably soft wooden floor.
"Zelgadis-san! Are you okay!?" Amelia dashed forward. Zelgadis' eyes were spinning around and around and around... (we think it's from shock for missing the best chance to get that life information)
Ah, now that Zelgadis is attracted as well, all's left is Lina. Amelia will follow Zelgadis, Filia wants Val, and Gourry will follow Lina. That just leaves Lina.
"So impulsive, Zelgadis-san! How about this, everyone? Why don't you all go and get some parfait with Miss Lina while Lord Beastmaster and I arrange a handsome reward for all of you? Hmm? Well then, bye now!"
"'Wait! Come back!" Filia cried as Xellos floated away from the group, preparing to phase away.
"My, my! I didn't know you were so fond of my company, Fil-chan! Behave my dear, m'kay? I don't think the Seiruun treasury can take any more mace-samas! Miss me, Zel-bunny!"
And with that, Xellos phased away, ready to report all that was absolute to his loyal-to Mistress.
Well, no. Who was he kidding? Actually, he was very interested in that new flavour of parfait...
Sorry, like cyberimp6 reviewed, this is quite a disorganised chapter.
Taka: A perfect way to introduce everyone, don't you think?