Title: Something Unpredictable (Chapter 5/?)

Rating/Warnings: PG (for some coarser language), mpreg

Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Lisa

Description: Jack finds himself with a 51st century predicament in a 21st century world.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been so kind and patient, and of course, a big thank you for all the feedback! Major love to my friend Ann, again, for being my fearlessly honest beta-er.

Chapter 5

Ianto stared at a spot on the desk for two whole minutes, completely silent, unaware of what to say and how to formulate proper speech. His mouth kept bobbing open before closing again and his eyebrows were permanently tense. Any quick or relevant one-liners were out the window as Jack's words ran through his mind – neither a confirmation nor a denial, just… exactly what it was – the cold, hard truth; exactly as Jack would put it to him.

His brain was muddled and tired. It had all come at him too quickly.

"I-I'm sorry, you're what?"

Jack's nostrils flared as he gave a sigh, his fingers pinched between his eyes. "I'm, ah, there's this thing—pregnant."

Ianto looked back at him as a rush of feelings and apprehension came over him, though he bluffed it as his index finger squeezed his chin. "That's…"

Jack kept staring at him as his palms dropped back to his lap.

"How do you feel about this?"

For whatever reason, Ianto nodded his head, not giving a definitive response. "I see."

So typically Ianto, Jack nearly said out loud, watching the younger man carefully. He had to say, though, at least this time, he was remotely surprised that Ianto was so calm or believed him so quickly, but he chalked it down to shock or disbelief. Given the fact that Jack couldn't die and was from the future, pregnancy was probably the most normal thing about him. At that point, Jack stood up to his feet to pull on a shirt.

Once Jack's back was turned, Ianto stood up straighter and slid his hands over his own hips. His entire expression read as blank confusion. Truthfully, he was lost in so many conflicting thoughts that he was practically dizzy. "So, with baby?" Ianto added with more than a touch of hope, "Not pregnant with… thought?"

Despite the situation he was in, that little statement practically made Jack break into a smile, but he nodded his head and did a button around his navel. "Ah, just the one. I've got to say, you've yet to ask me how it's possible, given you don't even know if I have a uterus or anything."

"That's disgusting," Ianto practically grunted, brushing his hand over his forehead and letting out a sigh. He was a million miles away and worst off – he already knew the answer to all of his future questions in some form or another. "How did this happen…"

"I told you, 51st century implantation. Today's doctors would gawk and groan, which is why I went to Owen first, to make sure. It's just a matter of how you did it."

The muscles in the middle of Ianto's back was as tense as a board. "How is this my fault?"

Jack sighed out again and folded his arms across his chest. "Don't get cross all of a sudden. I'm just saying it's abnormal—"

"Yeah, you're telling me…"

"—I mean… without the supplements."

"The supplements?" Ianto came off as confused, but a flicker of light turned on his mind. The supplements. Good lord, the pills. Surely those had worn off by now, it was impossible. Years and years had passed.

"These things my partner had to take, like Viagra writ large, only they were slightly more technical and long-lasting and not painful. So he said."

"Long-lasting?" Ianto shifted slightly, eyeing Jack and up down. Jack nodded his head.

At that point, Ianto began slow, subtle breathing mechanisms. Anything to remain calm and seemingly clueless, though his insides were ripping out with aggression and temptation. He stuck to the default answer, once again. "I see."

Jack hesitated before dropping his arms again. "Maybe Owen can give you some sort of scan or blood tests tomorrow, test the levels inside of you, maybe we can find something, anything. I thought I should tell you everything before it gets out of hand. The 21st century isn't too evolved with what I'm going through, as you'll imagine, but I figure my body will be able to sustain if something bizarre were to happen."

As if it couldn't get any stranger. Ianto was still in a daze and he nodded his head, barely listening. He'd find a way to worm out of the scan, somehow. "This is a done deal, is it?"

"Yes," Jack stated firmly before tipping back on his heels. "Hold off on dropping anything to Gwen and Toshiko. For now. I want to make it out of the first trimester first."

Ianto nodded. "First trimester."

The Captain's eyes flickered between Ianto's expression and his general line of focus, which was apparently nowhere, to no shock. "Look, I know how this must look to you. But I'm telling you, in the 51st century, I wasn't the only person going through this. I know it's hard to believe it took mankind three thousand years to finally evolve around to this, but believe it."

Ianto was still as quiet as a church mouse, taking it all in. He spent more time chastising his own underestimation of 51st century pills than actually coming to terms with Jack's state. How could he be so utterly daft? His thoughts were interrupted by Jack's voice again, and he looked up slowly.

"You have to trust me."

The younger man's voice was slightly hoarse and dryer then, but he came around to nodding. "I trust you."

Jack continued to watch him. "Are you okay with this?" He approached Ianto with a soft brush to his shoulder.

The younger man didn't turn away, but he felt and looked noticeably drained. "I'll be fine. Just do what you have to do."

Jack shifted his weight and nodded his head, giving Ianto another pat on the shoulder but remaining utterly silent.

The name just came to him. This beautiful girl, Lisa, across from him, expecting him to say it after he quite profusely promised her. He simply opened his mouth and there it was. Syllable-after-syllable, perfectly automatic.

"I'm Ianto."

Ianto. From that point on, he was Ianto. It was just as easy as that.

Lisa cracked a smile and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Ianto. Was that so hard?"

"Ianto Jones," he elaborated, letting the new, melodic name flow off the tip of his tongue. He shook her hand in a daze, repeating the name over and over in his head and on the outside as well, consequently. "Ianto Jones. Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Ianto Jones," she repeated out loud, making a mental note to herself, but Ianto continued, sounding perfectly daft.

"Ianto, Ianto, Ianto, Ianto. Ian-to Jone-ss."

At that point, Lisa pulled away her hand rather slowly and transitioned her smile into that of awkward anxiety. "So I see."

Ianto caught on fast and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, it's just—" On that note, he thought of something fast as his hand flew to his forehead, and he let out a wince for extra effect. "I guess I hit my head harder than I thought…"

"Oh no!" Lisa exclaimed as anxiety transitioned into sympathy. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"I'll be fine, I think. No, no doctors," Ianto said, crinkling his forehead.

"But if you… really, it's no trouble at all."

He shook his head profusely. "No, it's fine, I feel great now, just… ah, slight amnesia. It'll go away."

"You forgot your own name."

"Yes, but I remember my birthday now, it's the 19th of August, '83." Beat. "Oh fuck, would you look at that."

Lisa looked over her shoulder and to the left and right of her, utterly confused. "Look at what?"

"Nothing," he sighed to himself. "Look, I realize how daft this all looks, but I promise you I'm all right. I think I ought to lie down at my mate's flat—it's across the city. Thank you for the tea."

Ianto proceeded to stand up very, very quickly, and Lisa followed after him stubbornly. Sure, he was an odd fool, but he was young, just as she was. Despite several things not adding up, he also had a rather charming streak in him, too. In a way, he was less of a sociopath and more of a lost and confused individual who seemed to have hit a spot of bad luck. Lisa proceeded to shake her head.

"No, look, I'm not leaving you alone, not in your state." Ianto turned around to look at her, his eyes warming up. So much of what she said was perfectly decent and kind-hearted, but so much she didn't understand, could never.

"That's really sweet, but I told you, I can manage."

He moved toward the door and pulled on the handle, but Lisa took his wrist with a quick gasp, as if she just crossed over a boundary she shouldn't – the sort of thing programs on the telly warn young women about when they let strangers into their home.

But Ianto didn't reach for a pocket knife or clutch her with the strength of a homicidal murderer. He simply looked down to her hand and back to her worried expression, and his mind flashed back to his quick moment with the Doctor, when all he wanted was a little humoring. Look where it had gotten him.

He carefully removed her fingers, but he didn't reach for the doorknob again. "It's okay, Lisa. It's okay."

It felt like the longest stretch of silence either of them had ever felt or been conscious of. But neither Ianto, nor the remnants of Kavin left inside him, even bothered to count the passing seconds. Lisa began to come to terms with these two little words as she nodded her head and finally smiled, albeit timidly.

"Okay. Now… just tell me one thing."

Ianto was all ears. Frankly, he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Her words continued to fill the silence, though she phrased them slowly and deliberately. "Not how can I trust you—not why I trust you." She took a long pause again. "As far as I can tell, you're nothing but a complete nutter I found wandering out on the street and who can't even remember his own bloody name."

He got the hint. Hell, the look in her eyes was telling enough, but he remained quiet in case there was anything she wanted to add. Luckily, his suspicions were correct, though it wasn't the question he was expecting.

"So why do I want to invite you for coffee?"

It came out of left field, but Ianto contemplated the question for a moment, wanting to give the precise, perfect answer to this young, relatively vulnerable, and damn attractive woman in front of him. He knew her anxiety far too well and empathized; he was possibly as frightened and alone as she appeared. The invisible line of attraction managed to black out any thoughts about Darion, the farthest thing in his mind.

"Because…" He opened his mouth to say something relevant, but out popped out his next statement. "Lisa, I can't make you trust me; you've no reason to actually. I've only given off every wrong impression, haven't I?"

Lisa remained quiet, listening.

"But I can tell you—in fact, I can even promise you, that I know how it looks. You're the first new person I've met in London, and well, you're not bad-looking, really. Quite the opposite, if you'd like to know, and that probably makes me shove my foot in my mouth, added to the fact I dropped myself on the head as well. Incidentally, had you not gotten me, I probably still would have woken up, but I might have been…" He couldn't think of the word, and Lord knows he had just dropped an entire barrel of them completely spur of the moment.

"Rather smelly?" She offered, shrugging.

"Yes, exactly," he said, exasperated. "So thank you."

She gave a little nod. Despite the humor in the last moment or two, it remained equally as quiet as before, until they both broke the silence.

"Lisa—"

"Ianto—"

"Sorry, you."

"No, you," she insisted, adding, "You were first."

He sighed out and accepted that fact. "Thanks. Okay. I was going to say, I don't have a job or a flat… not yet, but first thing tomorrow, I'm going to the nearest temp agency. And when I get my first paycheque, I want to take you off for coffee, just to show my gratitude."

Lisa crossed an arm across her chest and rubbed her elbow, her face scrunching as she thought about it. Not a moment too soon, she responded, just as Ianto was turning his head to look at the door. "Okay. Let's call it a date."

Ianto didn't know what to say. The word "date" had been re-coined and re-defined so many times by the 51st century that it seemed archaic and foreign to his ears. She continued, even more boldly. "But why not let me take you out much sooner than that? Say, this week."

She was more strong-willed, more confident, than she'd ever shown before, stronger than Ianto had given her credit for. He nearly turned her down, but the sweeping prospect of no friends and no companionship hovered over him like a rain cloud. Before he knew it, he was nodding his head and cracking a light but open smile. "Okay, a date."

A date. His mouth formed around the word with so much familiarity, yet he couldn't remember the last time he'd been on one. She broke into a smile and raised her eyebrows. "Is that a yes?"

He nodded his head and smiled wide. "Yes—yes, it's a date."

Ianto returned to his flat that night, leaving a sulking, contemplative Jack behind, though it was clear as day that neither man would sleep a wink. The next day wasn't any better. Ianto made a point to avoid eye contact with Owen, and he barely said a word all day to anyone as he divided the coffee up among its sole drinkers, mainly Tosh and Gwen now. He specifically remembered to give decaf to Jack although he never asked.

It was almost funny to consider what his punishment could have been before that point in time for passing out the tame stuff. Jack had always been a fan of good, strong caffeine, and over the last few days, it had been an utter sacrifice to wean his own self off of it. Jack took it as Ianto's own form of acceptance. Often times, he just had a strange way of communicating.

In true male fashion (perhaps why it was intended for men to leave the child bearing to women), nobody said a word about it for a full forty-eight hours, though it became an unwritten truth between the three men that each one knew. The girls took note of the strange behavior but didn't bring it up. Whatever it was, it sure as hell wasn't revolved around male pregnancy, of all things. Anything that was going on under the surface was camouflaged by the same Torchwood buggery – Myfanwy, the Rift, and of course, Weevils.

There had been three Weevil outbreaks in the span of two days, a rather shocking percentage, and Jack had brought Gwen along to the hunts in spite of his better judgment. He just couldn't bear to be alone with Ianto, more for the younger man's sake than his own.

Eight o'clock in the evening rolled around; Jack sent each of his team members home slightly early, including Ianto, though Jack stalked around the inside of the tourist front back and forth, not-so-subtly waiting for the young man to return to his office like always.

He never did. In fact, Ianto motioned for his keys and slipped them into his pocket, but Jack wouldn't have it. He revealed his presence from behind him and held out a cup of coffee for Ianto to take, as if he was reeling him in. "Going so soon?"

Ianto nearly jumped twelve feet as he turned around. His response left more to be desired, though he didn't leave just yet. In fact, he was frozen in place. "Yes." He glanced down at the coffee and shook his head. "No, thank you."

Jack set it down on the counter of the tourist booth and leaned his elbow against it, planting himself right in Ianto's territory. He was surprisingly chipper, considering. "So Owen told me to tell you – eight weeks, give or take a day or so. I would have told you anyway."

The younger man was relatively quiet even as he began to shuffle papers. When he finally did speak, he was even more short than usual. "Owen knows I know?"

"He sort of figured. No one-liners and all, and the way you keep looking at me like my water is going to break any second."

There was a long pause again. "Hadn't considered it 'til now."

The awkwardness rubbed off on Jack. "O-kay. Well, there're two directions we can go from here. We can continue to ignore the giant elephant in the room, or we can be two mature adults and accept it."

Ianto stacked the papers in his hand, anything to keep moving. Jack kept talking. "And you can let Owen perform the blood test, maybe, so we can see what's possibly going on. That's something I'd really like."'

"Maybe tomorrow," Ianto mumbled offhandedly, jiggling his keys in his hand and brushing past Jack. "See you then."

But Jack grabbed his arm too quickly and swung him around. The younger man protested as he tried to pry Jack's fingers away from his arm, but he eventually let out a cry as Jack pushed him against the sliding door and clutched him for dear life. Ianto's breath was high in his chest and rising, and he tensely shook in his arms. Both men looked at each other for a good long minute, but the ball was in Jack's court. When he finally spoke, his jaw was tense and fingers were tighter around Ianto's arms.

"Look. I didn't want it to come to this, but let's talk about the facts, shall we? I'm the one that should be angry. The combination of supplements for this to even happen won't be invented for 3,000 years."

Ianto struggled, but Jack pushed him closer toward the door. "No. I can't hold down anything—anything, added to the fact that I can smell Owen's dead carcass from my office. I've got your screeching pterodactyl in full-on nest mode, and if that's not weird enough, I'm about to get fat, so fat."

Jack's hands grabbed for Ianto's forearms as the younger man attempted to interject. The Captain's voice rose higher, his eyes flickered with stress. "Listen. I know. I know you're a product of this century and can't wrap your head around a male pregnancy."

"No, Jack… I've got to tell you something—"

"I'm talking!" That shut Ianto up right away, though the lump grew in his throat as the guilt continued to rise. "But you know what the most frustrating part is?" Ianto was nearly terrified to shake his head, but he did and nearly held his breath. "My cock. Hard. Constantly horny, no break. I wake up, I take a shower, I write a letter, and I'm horny. And you're standing here playing the silent treatment. I'm beating my balls, literally, and you're still stuck on the facts. This is me complaining about not wanting to want cock so badly. Get the picture?

Ianto only breathed. Speaking, after all, didn't seem like a terribly good idea now, and Jack was still filled with hot air. "Do yourself a favor and get used to it – get used to everything. Yes, I'm the 'pregnant man,' I'm a 'freak of nature,' and this isn't a game."

"I don't think you're a freak of nature."

"Then accept reality." Jack added, hissing venom. "Or get out."

His words hung in the air and deep in Ianto's chest as Jack attempted to unhinge his jaw. Leaving was hardly an option, but if it was the choice Ianto made, he had a big retcon with his name on it. No exceptions.

The silence was telling. Jack had utterly peaked. Ianto spoke again, though timidly. "Are you finished?"

Stubbornly, Jack shook his head. "Oh, baby, as long as there's this thing between us, this is nothing." He heaved out a sigh a few moments later, growing more serious again and turning up his eyebrows slightly. "I think that's it."

Ianto nodded his head and still continued to watch him for a few extended seconds. "If it means anything, I'm sorry. I never would have… if I had known. I'm sorry." Jack softened even more then and loosened his hold.

"Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry about. Not really." He took in a deep breath and slid one of his hands over Ianto's neck. "All I want is someone there with me… this time." There was a not-so-subtle hint of sadness in Jack's voice, a hint that Ianto read loud and clear.

"Can you do that for me?"

Ianto's heart pang, but he closed his mouth and nodded his head, his eyes scattering down.

Jack smiled solemnly to himself. As he gave Ianto a pat on the shoulder, the anxiety slowly drained from Ianto's body – for now. Jack spoke up again as the younger man began to straighten his tie. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

Ianto's memory flashed to only three or four minutes before – the truth. Christ, it practically hung from his mouth. "Oh." Jack hung off his every word, but Ianto inevitably shook his head and dropped his hands. "No, I can't remember." He then added, "Nothing important, I guess."

Jack patted Ianto's shoulder again and moved a few steps away. "Okay, go home. I want you rested tomorrow, so get some sleep."

Ianto nearly invited Jack home with him, but his entire body hesitated before the words could come to him. He knew full well that the more he lied, the deeper he'd dig his own grave, and he was already in enough of a rut. Even a simple blood test would reveal so much – the perfect combinations, the inevitable cold, hard truth. If he were to tell Jack, he'd do it by choice, not medical accident.

He swung his keys around his finger and drifted past Jack. So much to sit on, so few options, so little time.