Perfection in her eyes
is impossible to find
Mirror holding a painful truth
Distorted in her mind

It kills me to walk down these halls every year to see one thing I don't like. That girl that has become skinny. So skinny that every guy turns their heads when she walks by, and so prefect that even my best friends can't stop talking about how beautiful she looks.

But what is prefect? In my eyes, it's where you have skinny legs. Your arms don't jiggle when you talk. You chin does look as if there's 14 of them when you talk. Your stomach is flat and you don't have love handles. This is what every girl looks like in my school. Every girl but me. And why is that? It's because I'm fat.

Speak of the devil. Here comes Sharpay. Only she could pull off the short shorts with the tank top. Every year. Her legs were so slim and her stomach. Flat. No love handles. She was the definition of prefect. Why did I always look so bad compared to my friend? Why do I feel like I need to loose to win?

"Gabs, I got to head to my locker but I'll see you later." Troy said.

" 'Kay, whatever" I mumbled as I made my way towards Sharpay.

"Gabby! You look great," shrieked Sharpay when she finally saw me. Soon she engulfed me in a hug.

"Sure I do"

" Jezz Shar! Let me breathe!" She let go of me and I gave her a once over, " I love your shirt." That's all I could say. I didn't want the truth to come out. Not to my best friend.

" Thanks, I got it in Paris last week," she said as we began walking to homeroom, " So how are my boys?" Her boys were Zeke, Zeke, and Zeke. Her boyfriend.

" Good?" I said with a confused look, " I didn't do what you wanted me to do. Sorry." I refused to stalk her boyfriend over the summer while she was traveling around the world. I had better things to do.

" O. Well, that's okay I guess. So what ya doing after school?" She questioned as we walked into homeroom.

"Don't know yet." I said as I looked at the seating chart. Forth row over fifth seat back. Right next to Sharpay and Troy.

" We should totally go to the mall." She said as she set her stuff down and sat in the seat.

" I'll call my mom during lunch." I said as I looked up and saw troy walking through the door just as the bell rang.

"Give me the schedule." Troy said with a huff as he sat down.

I handed him mine and Sharpay passed hers over.

" We have gym, lunch and English together Gabs. Sharpay, we've got lunch, science, and math together." He said as he passed them back. I hated having gym with Troy. He made everything look so easy, but when you can barely walk, gym is difficult.

"Joy." I said as I took out a notebook to start taking notes on what Mrs. Darbus was about to spit all over the front row. Thank god I didn't have that seat this year. Last year, Troy and I, were busy in a conversation to hear the bell ring and to hear Mrs. Darbus start nagging about cell phones. She screamed out my name and I was stuck up front for the rest you the year. I had to wear a raincoat if I wanted my hair to look okay when I walked out of her classroom. But this was my last year with her. Thank god. That woman makes grown men cry.

But enough about her. This was my senior year and it shouldn't be wasted on thoughts about my crazy homeroom teacher. I should be thinking about ways that I could loose weight. Yeah, I sound crazy but I need to.

Everyone looked great. Everyone besides me. I seem to be the only one that gains weight over the summer. I never loose. I never loose during the school year either. It just sticks with me and I keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It never stops. Soon I'll be the fattest girl in the world. Not that I'm not already.

"Gabs! The bell rang. Come on." Troy pushed me out of my seat and started to walk away. Jezz. I was thinking the whole homeroom period?

"So your off to gym huh?" Sharpay asked as I walked out into the hallway and saw her standing by the door.

"Yup. But I'll see you at lunch 'Kay?"

"Yup." She answered and walked away. I was stuck walking to gym all by myself.

I swung open the locker room door and was hit in the face with the smell I have grown to love. The smell of sweat and 1,000 different types of perfume mixed together. It could make you pass out it was so strong.

I found my gym locker and rolled my combo into the lock and got out my shoes socks a shirt and some shorts. I threw all my clothes on fast before anyone could see my body and ran out to the gym. There was Troy. Standing with a prefect girl.

" Hey Gabby! Meet Jamie. She's new and from New York." Troy said as he passed a random basketball to Chad.

"Hey, I'm Gabriella but you can call me Gabby." I said as I stuck my hand out.

"Jamie" The petite girl said as she played with her hair. Her prefect tanned, skinny legs, tanned arms, her stomach. Everything. Here was the girl under the definition of prefect.

And Troy couldn't keep his eyes off her.

Rehab

ANOREXIC PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT Food can cause many physical and mental health problems. Physical side effects associated with food are high blood pressure, high blood sugar, heart problems, and the most serious of all, FATNESS!!!!!! If the food consumption and FATNESS are ignored, it turns to OBESITY!!!!! FATNESS is a TURNOFF to EVERYONE around you!!!! Being FAT makes you UGLY! NO ONE LIKES A FAT UGLY SLOPPY BITCH!!! AND IF YOU ARE -FAT- NO ONE WILL LIKE -YOU-!!!!! If no one likes you, you get LONELY and DEPRESSED!!! See how much trouble FOOD causes? Say NO to the most common street drug, FOOD!!! If you have eaten today, YOU ARE FAT!!!!

I woke up screaming. This was the third time I've seen this in a dream of mine. But the first in rehab. I don't understand why this was happening. Yeah, at dinner I did try to eat that piece of nasty pizza they were serving and for lunch I did have a few carrots. But that doesn't mean I'm fat right?

I haven't eaten in weeks before today. I cannot possibly be fat.

No you are. Your weak, your fat. You can't keep doing this. You going to over-eat and get super fat and die. All because you're fat.

Over and over again that was playing in my head. But what does it mean? Does it mean that I should stop eating forever and hope that I look like Sharpay or Jamie? Or does it mean that I need to get rid of all of it?

I got out of the itchy cotton bed and walked out to the bathrooms. Here, we weren't allowed to have our own bathroom until we got to level 6. I'm on level 2.

Looking around seeing no one I entered the small bathroom and saw no one in there. But one thing I did want to see. A mirror.

Perching myself on top of the sink I took of my shirt and gagged. My god. The rolls. They're disgusting. So many of them. I've worked so hard for the look I had two months ago. And now it's gone.

Tears brimming my eyes I got off the sink and started at my face. Dark black circles under my eyes, thin hair, weak eyes. I looked disgusting.

"You've ruined everything. You gave in. You're weak," I whispered fiercely. The eyes in the mirror filled with tears. I looked away from her, allowing her the space to cry. My eyes fell on the red door to the handicapped stall of the stark bathroom. I walked slowly toward it, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. I took a fateful step into that stall, and tumbled down the rabbit hole.

I was doing better. I've gained. Until tonight at 2:37 AM.

AN: I really should be doing homework but because I love you so much I wrote :]. I've got finals coming up soon so I have no idea how much I'm going to be updating. But I'll try. Enjoy.

Peace and Chicken.